Broken Obsession - Part Two (3 page)

Eduardo started to snicker, “That’s so cliché,” he
let go, starting to kiss Amber’s neck once again. “Just know, that
I will always love you Amber. I never want to experience those
feelings I used to have when I wasn’t with you. That obsession, it
consumed me, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t even breathe when I saw
you with my brother.”

“We’re not turning back baby, we’re stepping forward
and we’re doing it together this time.”

“I know—I know, but I can’t help but feel as if I
need to be wary for some reason, as if I don’t deserve to be this
content.”

Now Amber snickered, “Oh baby, I love you so much,
you’re all I ever wanted and we’ve been through so much hell
already. Don't we deserve some happiness too?”

Eduardo kissed her one last time before saying, “Just
promise me Amber, if we ever find ourselves separated, Good God
please remember that I will always love you.”

Amber drew his head up from her neck and playfully
kissed his eyes once more, “I promise.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she declared, kissing his nose.
“I’m famished—can we eat now? Do they actually serve food on this
island?”

As long I could remember, I always knew something
special was going to happen to me. When I was ten, I would cling
onto that small hope that no matter how bad a day I was having,
there was still something gigantic to expect just around the
corner…

I’m no longer waiting.

The year I met my first husband, Victor Sanchez was
also the year I met the love of my life, his older brother,
Eduardo. I’ll always remember that day because that was the day
when my life turned upside down. Emotions I never knew existed were
introduced and from thereon in, my life would never be the
same.

I recalled having just met Victor’s parents, Rosalba
and Fabrizio and they were larger than life, a sweet, affectionate
couple who showered their relatives with love and devotion. The
Sanchez Family was such a tight-knit group with such strong
convictions and I longed to be one of them having come from a
family of regular divorce. Eduardo had been visiting his parents
just out of Harvard law school and was one thrilling persona. His
good fortune oozed out of his pores and I couldn’t help but gawk at
him at our initial meeting. And, oh God was he ever gorgeous! Good
Lord, he was perfect. Every woman, not only me was mesmerized by
him just standing there. He had been something else that day and I
went home that night—the night Victor had proposed to me—a little
overwhelmed not only by the memorable day of meeting his parents,
family and being proposed to, but by experiencing chemistry I never
thought existed.

Over the years, I thought I would go insane thinking
that I’d never be able to quench my eagerness of wanting to be near
him. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that he had
been feeling the very same thing. Come to think of it, there wasn’t
a moment I recall that whenever I was at a family gathering,
Eduardo wasn’t right by my side. We had this mysterious connection,
him and I; a baffling longing of wanting a void to be
fulfilled.

But, oh God, how my emotions were tortured by just
being around him! All I wanted to do was touch him when I saw him
at those family gatherings. And to be brutally honest, temptation
sucks. Pining away for someone also sucks. Your emotions go
haywire, you feel like you can’t breathe, you don’t want to eat and
your heart is all twisted. All you want to do is just be with that
person and it kills you every day because you can’t.

Eduardo and I didn’t become lovers for nearly ten
years, in fact, we were friends first and maybe that’s how it
should have been. Knowing the timeline and the outcome of our
affair, I would have done things differently though. I just wanted
to hold him, hug him, kiss him, lay on him, get naked and have him
inside of me— all day long! Yes, it was obsessive, yes, it was
immoral, but I couldn’t ignore what my body kept telling me. We
weren’t related, we had no blood ties—he just happened to be my
husband’s older brother. To be attracted to your brother-in-law…Why
was that so taboo?

There were no good reasons behind my fascination with
Eduardo Sanchez, just like there are no good reasons behind a cat’s
appeal to catnip.

How do you explain the unexplainable? I was young; I
only had one other boyfriend other than Victor and married right
out of high school. How was I supposed to know how sexual
attraction would affect me? Even at work, when I first started
working at Eduardo’s law firm, when he would walk passed my desk;
my heart would do flip-flops. I never got any work done; his body
and his face would always preoccupy my thoughts and definitely
overpower my work load. It got so bad I would oftentimes cry in my
car on my way home on the freeway and wipe away my tears as soon as
I pulled into the garage so Victor wouldn’t notice. I wished I were
always somewhere else and constantly with him until the night
Eduardo confessed his true mind-set.

Unbelievable…I was in total disbelief that he had
been feeling the very same way? All those years I had been
attracted to him, desiring his lips on mine, Eduardo had desired my
lips on his?

I feel very lucky right now. I know I tried to commit
suicide and I know now by going through a lot of therapy that I
should have thought through my pain. But at the time, I wasn’t
thinking clearly and I don’t know how else to explain those
horrible moments of wanting to take my own life and I don’t want to
make excuses for what I did, but you don’t think; all you see is
the pain and the throbbing piled high on top of further misery
whenever you think of who caused you that torture. I just wanted to
end it, more than that; I wanted to teach him a lesson. The man was
damn spoiled, Eduardo had always been spoiled, always getting what
he wanted and what I wanted didn’t matter. I wanted him to leave
his wife (my sister-in-law, Leticia) for me. If he had truly loved
and cared about me like he was constantly confessing, then why
wasn’t he willing to get a divorce? I was willing to leave Victor
and my kids for him, why wasn’t Eduardo willing to change direction
for me? Was it really his family convictions? Was it his pride? Or
was it just him being a little overindulged?

So at that point, I just didn’t care; I wanted to end
it all. I hated being the other woman; hated feeling dirty because
I was a cheater and the only way I was going to cleanse myself, was
to wash it all away, to stop it and that’s just what I tried to
do.

And I really don’t remember all that much about that
day. All I remember is Eduardo and I fighting in the hotel room, me
ripping off his gold chain and then seeing
RED
. The next
thing I remember is waking up in a white hospital bed and looking
into the baby-blue scrub’s of a friendly nurse smiling down at me.
I couldn’t believe it when the doctor’s explained to me that I had
been in a coma for nearly sixteen months! Sixteen months? Good
Lord, I was never meant to wake up; all I still wanted was just to
end it—why did someone save me? Turned out, it was my mother who
found me. My mother…of all people, the one and only family member
that I thought was just as selfish as Eduardo did a maternal
act.

I thought I was dead, I should have died, but then
the more days I woke up with the sun in my face, the more I wanted
to live! I was given a second chance to change things, make amends
and make life better for me.

Dr. Dirk Hayward was a Godsend. He was a very caring
man and the only man I was able to talk to or willing to speak with
lacking being afraid and he helped me see the negativity of my past
and how to turn it in to something positive.

Right now I have a progressive attitude, I feel bliss
and I have never felt more fulfilled. I feel as if I am walking on
air or in a cloud of happiness, I feel loved, secure and warm and
actually feel like I did die and went to Heaven.

By slow degrees, Amber woke
up before sunlight. Her heart was racing and her adrenaline pumped
through her veins anxiously. Since leaving Fiji and her cloud nine
state, it had been the first real night she and her latest husband
had slept together throughout the night—she wasn’t used to it. What
she was used to was being at the Palm Desert Treatment Center in a
twin bed with starched white sheets that smelled like
bleach,
that
she
was used to; with pampered treatment, round the clock nurses and
Dr. Hayward, who she could always count on to listen to her
insecurities and when she felt restless and confused as she did so
now. But…
why
? She
had absolutely everything she’s ever wanted…a man who adored her,
spoiling her to the point where his arms were her blanket and the
long length of his body had been some source of bedding, but what
was this new feeling of foreboding? Like the boogie man was about
to pop out from nowhere and frighten her to the point where she
would have to wake up from this wondrous dream. The fear felt like
foreshadowing and the foreshadowing felt somewhat like a test... a
great big test and she was afraid of making a mistake.

She looked over at her husband sleeping soundly. Good
Lord, he was beautiful asleep! Like someone had posed him, he was
on his back with one arm looped around on his head, she wanted to
hug him, kiss him, dive into his chest, swim in his essence,
love—fondle him, adore him, praise his glory, but instead she
started to weep she was so overwhelmed with emotion and sprung out
of bed and found herself outside on the balcony to get some fresh
air.

Amber stood over by the edge overlooking the ocean.
She still couldn’t believe she was even there!

This was her home now and this was her new life. It
was as if she went to sleep one night with an old husband and an
old family and woke up in the morning to a new husband with a new
family. Like some strange episode of the Twilight Zone: Walking
through one door and stepping into a new dimension, one switch to
the other, effortlessly with no one to tell her that it had all
been wrong. She had awakened up from her coma only to be introduced
to a new world, a state-of-the-art frontier and she wasn’t too sure
she could handle it and Eduardo had taken care of everything. What
a control freak he was! After he whisked her away on a private jet
to Fiji, he brought her back to Pacific Palisades in California to
present her with their new residence; an exquisite five bedroom,
four baths Mediterranean home with a stunning lagoon themed pool,
playhouse and play area with swing-set and sandbox for her son and
tennis court for Amber. A fricken
tennis court…
and she
didn’t even play tennis, but Eduardo did, and she knew he always
wanted one. She guessed she would have to take tennis lessons just
to keep up with the pro.

Amber loved the feeling of being sheltered and taken
care of. All her life she searched for someone to make her feel
complete and now she’s seized it. Her Father Figure had taken care
of her needs and she no longer had to worry about her financial
future and recalled the conversation she had a couple of nights ago
discussing the very same thing. They were in the middle of eating
dinner when Amber announced she wanted to go back to work…

“What?”

“I think it’s time for me to look for a new job.”

“Amber, what about Peyton?” He asked, looking over at
his son eating his food skillfully with a child’s fork.

“He’ll be fine. He’s got my mother and Mrs. Lopez to
look after him while I’m at work.”

“You don’t have to work you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think you need to contribute financially to
this marriage?”

“Well sure, don’t I? I mean, look at this house
Eduardo, it must have cost you a fortune!”

Eduardo guffawed and rolled up his napkin. “Amber,
let me tell you something. Last year, I grossed over ten million.
This year, maybe even fifteen. I’ve managed my money very well and
have investments in both real estate and stocks. Philip and Martin
offered to make me partner, which would only bring in additional
income. You never need to work again sweetheart. So by marrying me,
you’ve become a woman of leisure.”

Good Lord, she couldn’t believe it! Being able to
purchase anything her heart so desired? What would she buy first? A
new car, new clothes, furniture, jewelry, china...then she started
thinking about all the practical things she would need for the new
home…A washer and dryer? No, Eduardo had taken care of that. A
refrigerator—nope, he had taken care of that too. Flat screen TV’s
in every room of the house? Nope, he bought those too! What the
hell could she contribute to this new marriage anyhow?

She was beginning to panic when she felt her
husband’s arms drape around her shoulders in a warm loving
embrace.

“My bed is cold. Come back to sleep.”

Amber closed her eyes and felt Eduardo’s lips on her
neck, kissing her with feather-like ardor up and down her crux. “I
will in a second.”

“What are you doing out here?” He murmured to her,
continually grazing her neck with his velvety lips.

Amber turned around within his arms. “What do you
love about me? I mean, really, why would you love someone like me
if I can’t be a factor to this marriage?”