Broken Memphis (20 page)

I close my eyes and see Pax. The way his muscles flex when he's propped over me. I imagine his hair swaying against his face when he thrusts into my body. Rough fingers. Hard stomach. Tattooed chest. Thick cock. I picture every detail in my head while working myself past one orgasm and searching for a second.

"Pax," I moan again and again.

Finally relaxed, I turn off the water and leave the shower. The chick in the mirror looks unhappy, but my body is at least satisfied.
For now anyway.

After dressing in my pajama top and bottom, I open the bathroom door.

"Hey, baby," Pax says, covering my mouth before I can scream. "Missing me, huh?"

Narrowing my eyes, I try to bite his hand until he removes it.

"What do you want?"

"I came up here to check on you and Tallulah again. Figured I might get a little visual help for my dick problem by looking at your feet sticking out of the covers. Imagine my surprise when I heard you moaning my name."

Hating the smirk on his face, I try to push past him. "Go away."

"Or," he says, blocking my way with his long arms, "you could help a guy out."

"Eww."

"Why is it gross when I want a little relief?"

"Because you think I'll give it to you. I'm not your whore."

Pax frowns for a minute, and I figure he'll storm away. Then a smile slides across his sexy face.

"Cute trick you pulled trying to piss me off like that. No, I'm too hard to walk away."

I glance down at where his hand strokes his cock inside his sweats. Fuck me, but I shiver at the thought of him inside me.

"No," I mutter.

"Let's make a trade," he says still stroking himself. "A kiss and maybe a handful of tit to help me get over the edge. Without you in my bed, I jack off so much lately that my dick is holding on by a thread."

"What do I get if I allow you to use me like a blowup doll?"

Pax narrows his eyes again before realizing I'm trying to piss him off. He catches on and gives me a smile.

"Well I heard Shay is getting her nails done with the girls tomorrow. I figure you won't go since you're saving up for Christmas and birthday presents. What if I paid for you and Tallulah to get your nails done?"

"She's too little to need her nails done."

Leaning down until his lips are against my throat, Pax inhales my scent. "Don't tell me she wouldn't like pink nails with sparkles. Or maybe red with black dots like the ladybugs she thinks are so cute. Oh, something Christmas could be pretty too. Tell me she wouldn't like that."

Pax knowing my baby well enough to play this game makes me fucking crazy. I need him inside me. I feel like the damn shower never happened.

"Deal, but make it quick," I say, selling an indifference I'm not feeling.

My gaze locks on Pax licking his lips. Waiting and wanting what I should avoid. This time when he kisses me, Pax is soft, testing, and patient. My tongue licks at his and the kiss deepens. His free hand slides up my shirt, finding my hard nipple waiting for him. He squeezes the rigid flesh, making me moan in his mouth.

The hand around his cock moves faster, and I imagine cum leaking from the slit. Even craving to taste him, I won't. Once I welcome him back in my arms for real, I'm fully open to any wounds he inflicts. I can't handle that yet. Tonight, we'll just tease. I scratch at his chest with my nails, making Pax moan into my mouth.

I don't stop teasing his nipples until his breathing relaxes and our kisses soften again.

"I want the cash in the morning," I say, trying to keep up my cold exterior.

Pax wraps me in his arms and returns to the kissing. I hate him for doing whatever he wants. He wanted me. He got me. He got overwhelmed then hurt me. Now he wants me back, and I should spread my legs for him. I imagine hurting him. Maybe just a twist of his balls to give him a little wakeup call that I'm not his property. Before I can reach for his crotch, Pax ruins my plans.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing my face then neck. "I thought Ford was a fucking fool to give himself over so quick to Shay, but you feel right like no other chick can."

Sighing, I hate him even more for sounding so vulnerable. He loves me, and the words aren't hard for him to say. Even now with me angry, he trusts me with his feelings.

"I love you too, but get off me," I whisper with no power behind my words.

Pax doesn't react immediately. He kisses me on the forehead and cheeks then the lips. Even kissing him back, I think of anything besides his hot body wrapped around mine.

"I'm getting you back," he says, stepping away from me.

"I know."

"I won't give up."

"I know that too."

"I'm very patient."

"No, you're really not."

Pax glances around the hallway. "If you're still unsatisfied after your bathroom fingerbang, I can help you out."

I flip him off. "Good night, A S S H O L E."

"There's the cussing hottie I love."

Laughing against my better judgment, I push past him. "See you in the morning."

Watching me go, Pax never stops smiling. I don't need to look back to know this fact.
Pax always smiles when he's winning.

36

Bebe

Don't Open Her Gifts

As Christmas approaches, the college girls remain at the hotel. I've considered asking the specifics of their plans, except I noticed how quiet they got when a guest was too chatty. Maybe they didn't want to share with a strange guy, or they're private with everyone. Either way, I don't plan to push the subject even if I'm curious.

I find them at the indoor pool like most days. Most of them are in the water, talking quietly. Virginia sits at a table alone. We share a smile when I enter the pool area. I keep my mouth shut while collecting wet towels from other guests.

"Tallulah is a unique name," Virginia says, painting her nails on a deck chair. "How did you choose it?"

Wiping down the tables, I shrug. "A girl at my school growing up had a cousin named Tallulah. She visited her every weekend since they were best friends. I always liked the sound of it."

"It's a great name. I just wondered why you didn't follow with the French name tradition."

So focused on remembering Lula as a baby, I nearly miss her words. When they register, I stop my cleaning and look at her. She's waiting for me to acknowledge what she said.

"How did you know about my family's French thing?"

"Sabine told me," she says, pulling her blonde hair loose as if the ponytail was driving her crazy. "We were friends."

"Were?"

Virginia studies me, and I understand what she means. Rather than a grief-stricken punch to the gut, a slow sense of dread infects me.

"Do I want to know how she died?" I whisper, moving closer.

Her expression grows dark, and I have my answer.

"I will say the people who took her life will be dead soon. I'll get revenge for you and Sabine. Your man Pax is helping too."

"Pax?"

"He's quite a character," she says, grinning slightly. "Not what I'd imagine for you, but Sabine would approve. The way he got you away from Taz was impressive."

"How do you know all this?"

Virginia pats the seat next to her. "I left town after Sabine disappeared. The trouble that took her was looking for me next, so I bailed. I never forgot her or what they did."

Her friends are quiet now. They share a look with her then leave the pool area. Once we're alone, Virginia continues, "I'm back to get what's mine and make people pay for what they did. Not just to Sabine but to others. I've been in town for months, hanging around the edges of Little Memphis. I kept an eye on you back when you lived with Flora and Perri. I wanted to contact you, but it was too early. Besides, what could I really say? You didn't know me, but I knew you. The whole thing felt too stalker-ish."

"I don't understand how you could know about me, but I never heard about you."

"She probably called me Ginger. Everyone did. The Virginia thing isn't even much of a fake name. Sage says I want to get caught. Maybe she's right."

I knew Ginger Snaps was once a prostitute before becoming a pimp when hers died. Sabine said Ginger was crazy, but my sister always acted like she meant it as a compliment. Years ago, Howie bitched about Ginger Snaps moving into his territory and stealing his girls. He and his brother tried to take her out, but she kept killing everyone they sent. Sabine said Ginger sent chunks of the people in the mail.
Yeah, Ginger Snaps was certifiably nuts.

Virginia didn't look insane. Young and pretty, she seemed average. Virginia blended into a crowd in a way Pax and Ford never could. Even Howie had a presence. Ginger seems small. No way can I imagine her sending body parts in gift-wrapped packages.

"I'm sorry about Sabine," she says, and I know she means it. "She was funny."

"Yeah," I say, realizing how much I miss talking to someone who cares about Sabine. "You know, when she disappeared, no one really cared. I pretended people figured she'd come back, but that was a lie. No one cared besides me. Maybe Flora, who was in a few classes with her in high school, but nobody else."

"I cared then, and I still do. I plan to fuck up the people who took her from you. I've been waiting for years for payback. It's going to be messy, but she deserves for them to beg. I'm going to make that happen."

Her tone is quiet, but I see something in her that makes her reputation not seem so far-fetched. Killing people doesn't bother her. Revenge keeps her warm. Ginger seems average, but her heart is dark in a way I'll never understand.

"Why tell me now?"

"I don't know what Pax tells you. I just know you're tied to him and the club. You're tied to Howie and his brother too. A lot of people are making moves, and I want you to know the truth about Sabine. Just in case I'm not around later to tell you."

Nodding, I feel emptied out now. I can barely remember Sabine's smile. Or her laugh. She's very far away now.

Ginger's demeanor changes when a family enters the pool area. She's playing the part of a normal college-aged woman again. Also playing a role, I return to cleaning. By the end of my shift, I'm drowning under waves of grief and guilt. My only escape waits for me at home. I only pray he'll be enough.

37

Pax

Forget Now, Forgive Later

I'm stealing meth on
Grand Theft Auto
when Bebe arrives home. Like a puppy desperate for attention, I stare at her and wait for a sign of approval. She says nothing while walking past me to check on Tallulah taking a nap. I keep the game on pause and hope she'll throw me a bone. A smile alone would be enough to make my day.

Bebe reappears from the hallway and takes the baby monitor.

"I need to talk to you," she says in a quiet voice that sends a chill through me.

Following her downstairs, I don't know what is about to happen, but I'm fucking terrified. Something is different about Bebe now, and I fear she'll cut me loose for good.

"How long has Tallulah been sleeping?" she asks, setting the monitor on the dresser in my room.

"She crashed around twenty minutes ago."

Bebe looks tiny standing in front of me. When her gaze meets mine, I hold my breath.

"Someone told me my sister is dead, and I know it's true. Maybe I've known it all along, but I can't lie to myself anymore."

Even wanting to say something, I can't move. Bebe stares at me and struggles against tears.

"I don't forgive you," she whispers. "Not yet. I know I will because I love you too much to let you go. I still don't trust you. None of that matters right now. I'm falling apart, and I need you to help me forget."

Like a fucking moron, I have no idea what the hell she wants me to do. Bebe realizes I'm clueless, so she caresses my face. My brain switches on, and I reach for her immediately.

Bebe whimpers against my lips. When I try to pull away, she yanks me closer. Ignoring her tears feels impossible, yet she needs me and I miss her.

My lips remain on hers as we undress. My brain wants to ask questions about who told her Sabine was dead. Is this person dangerous? Should I be worried?

Instead of thinking, I let my body take control. Kissing away her tears, I explore her body until she begs to have me inside her. We both sigh when I fill her. My hips don't move while I enjoy her pussy clenching. I study her face and find her staring at me in an odd way.

"You love me," she whispers.

Unable to tell if her words are a question, I nod. "Of course, I do."

Bebe wraps her legs around me and lifts her hips. She wants me to fuck her, yet I feel like we're supposed to talk or share feelings. Bebe doesn't want therapy. She wants to forget her pain by embracing pleasure. I'm no good with words, but I can give Bebe relief.

Our bodies remain together for the next few hours. We only stop when we hear Tallulah stirring on the monitor. Realizing we'll need to leave the bed soon, Bebe clings to me.

Laughing at something on TV, Tallulah's voice sounds like music on the monitor. We grudgingly get up and dress.

Bebe slides on her panties then sighs. "Sabine and I weren't close like you and Ford. I loved her though. I really hoped she was safe."

"I'm sorry. Do you know how she died?"

Bebe shakes her head. "Ginger just said you and her would get revenge."

Yanking on my tee, I pretend hearing that name doesn't hit me like a ton of fucking bricks.
Why is she talking to my woman?
The questions will need to wait.

Before we go upstairs, Bebe leans against me. "Help me tonight with Tallulah. I don't want her noticing me upset."

"She probably will anyway," I say, holding her. "She always notices stuff. She's too smart that way."

Bebe gives me a weak smile. "She is smart. It's the only thing good she got from having Howie as a dad."

"Don't talk about him," I say too strongly.

"Because he hurt your dog?"

"Because he hurt my family," I mutter, wrapping her tighter in my arms. "And I don't like him being the one to pop your cherry. You should have been well fucked your first time. It's something I feel deeply about."