“Focus,” I muttered to myself. The first thing I had to do was clear my mind. I almost laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. Clear my mind of the fact that the love of my life was in pain and I had no idea how badly. The fact that the gods think I’m a child of some prophecy, that Hades is my father, that if this works, I’ll never see my parents again. I’ll never see the amethyst sky of the Nether again, feel my soul sing as I step through the gateway, into a world that I recognized as “home.” Try to clear my mind of Nain, and the demons I was now responsible for. Clear my mind of the fact that, right this moment, the gods waged war on each other, because of my actions, and my world was already beginning to suffer. I could hear thunder, sirens, from beyond the factory.
Try to clear my mind of the worry that I was not up to the task, and people would die because of it.
Right.
But I tried. I tried to find my cold, empty place, the place I’d so often retreated to in the early years of my life, before I’d met Nain, before I became a Fury, a god, a slayer of deities. Back when I hadn’t known what love was, or how much it cost to lose it. Back when I was nothing more than a lost girl, finding lost girls.
I cleared it all, and tried to ignore the way the gateway trembled as they fought on the other side.
“Bye, mom and dad,” I murmured, and then I cleared them from my mind as well.
When I was cold, and empty, it was just me, and my power, and the gateway. This gateway, every gateway between this world and the others. I could see them all, and I started building, walls of slick black metal, like nothing I’d ever seen before. Seamless, perfectly smooth, thick and unbreakable, unbendable, impervious to fire, water, or any other force a god could throw at it. No spaces around or underneath, no way to sneak past.
I felt my body break out in a sweat from the effort, my muscles beginning to tremble.
The pounding from beyond the gateway became more frenzied as I built. They could feel it, and my parents’ adversaries fought harder to get through.
I focused harder, making it real, making it strong, stronger than anything in any of the realms I’d known. My head began to pound as my power increased, and I was soon full. My nose bled, and I could feel wetness coming from my ears, my lips. My skin felt like it was about to split. I gritted my teeth against my power more full now than I’d ever been, more than the night Nain died, more than the night I’d nearly died in the explosion that sparked more of my powers to life, more than I’d felt when Nain shielded me in my father’s home. The pain was nothing. I pictured Brennan, knew I would go through any amount of pain to keep him safe.
I opened my mouth.
“Make it so,” I said, and I felt my power surge harder, higher, and I screamed in agony as my power snapped, making the barriers I’d built real.
I could no longer feel the Nether.
I could no longer hear the pounding, feel the gateway trembling.
There was no gateway.
And the whole world went black.
My name is Mollis Eth-Hades.
Fury.
Abomination.
Godslayer.
I killed a god and a goddess, started a war between the gods, and resigned myself to exile, by my own choice and actions, in the mortal world, cut off from my family, from the beauty of the Nether. It was the price of peace for the innocents of the mortal realm, as well as my penance.
Why am I so cold? And where is that shouting and crashing coming from? I flex a leg, an arm, feeling as though I am waking from a long, numb, deep sleep.
I know this. I know that I am the only child of Hades, lord of the dead. My mother is the Fury, Tisiphone. I know that I killed Enyo, the goddess of war and Hermes, the god of thieves and messenger of the gods, because they caused the deaths of innocents and plotted against my father. I know I have seriously pissed the gods off, though they craved war, and I gave them all the reason they needed.
I sit up and look around. I am in a barren, rocky place. Amethyst sky above me, black stone below. I flex my wings, stretching them.
Wings?
“What the ever loving fuck is this now?” I groan, throwing my head back. I try to shake my groggy mind awake.
I’d been on the Earth side of the gateway. I’d closed it. I remember not feeling it anymore. And then I felt nothing.
I look around.
This was definitely the Nether. I could feel it surrounding me, suffusing me with its power. I look down at myself, and see my body, naked, unmarked. Even my tattoo of Mjolnir was gone. Nain’s ring, gone, emptiness in my soul again where I’d felt him, for a few crazy minutes, before I’d closed the gateway.
Glistening black-feathered wings, like my father’s, sprout from my back.
I can feel my power, roaring within me.
I sit, and think. If I am here, there is only one way it could have happened, one way I could be here, when I know for sure I’d been on the other side before everything went black.
The cost of closing the gate had been a high one. It had cost me my life, ultimately. Except that I am not all that easy to kill.
I’d died.
And come back.
Here.
Cut off from just about everyone I love.
Unable to protect their world the way I am supposed to.
Tossed into the one place in existence I should not be.
The one place I would be hunted.
I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to destroy the next being I see, just on principle.
I take a breath, look around. And then I smile, and there is no joy in it.
Fine. If I am here, somebody is gonna pay for taking my life away from me.
I walk across black jagged stones. I can see a small cave several yards away. I’ll wait, and plan, and figure out how to keep myself alive. There will be peace between the gods, one way or another.
My world will not be allowed to suffer because of my brash actions. I will protect those I love, even if I can’t be with them.
And then, I’ll figure out a way to get home.
END OF BOOK TWO
Book Two: Broken
Book Three: Home
- Available February 2014
Keep reading for a sneak peek at
Hidden, Book Three: Home
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
So far, this was true for me. I’d had my soul shattered when my first husband, Nain, died. I’d teetered on the brink of death after a demon tried to blow me up. I’d watched the man I love waste away from a plague sent to my realm to punish me.
Each time, I got stronger. I got angrier. So strong and angry that I’d sometimes been afraid of myself.
But what about the things that
do
kill you? What does it do to you, to die and come back?
I guess I’d find out soon enough, I thought as I made my way across the rocky ground toward the cave I’d seen after waking.
When I entered the cave, I was pleased to find that it was not only empty (gods knew what weird creatures I may have found there) but also that the opening was just big enough for me to get through, crouched down, and then opened into an only slightly larger space. Large enough for me to stand up, to sleep on the floor, but not much bigger than that. The black stone that the mountains were made of was the same stone I’d seen throughout the Nether, in homes and sculptures, tabletops and other items. I’d never thought to ask the name of it.
I sat down, leaning my bare back against the rough wall of the cave. I’d never thought to do a lot of things. At times, I hadn’t thought much, period. I frowned, thinking. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, more tired than I expected to be. The short walk from the place where I’d revived to the cave had taken a lot of energy. Not quite up to peak form yet, I guessed.
Coming back from the dead, regenerating a body, apparently takes a lot out of you. Which was a whole crazy thing I really didn’t want to think about too closely. I’d never even considered that it could work that way, that, as a god, or the child of gods or whatever, I could lose my body completely and re-form in the Nether. Nain had done it, thanks to my blood in his veins. I was starting to suspect that it was more than blood, that it was life, or energy, or the soul or whatever the hell you wanted to call it.
Freaky shit.
I started to feel myself doze, and kept ruminating on what I’d do differently this time around. Before, my trademark had been smashing first and asking questions later. I’d thoughtlessly charged into buildings, not knowing what waited for me. Thoughtlessly destroyed beings whose deaths only came back to bite me in the ass. I tried to tell myself that action was necessary, but the fact was that I just hadn’t been smart enough. I’d charged headfirst into my relationship with Nain, when I knew, now, that everything I’d ever wanted in a relationship, Brennan had been all along.
My eyes shot open. Brennan. Oh, no. Was he mourning me? I put my head in my hands. Damn it. Would he know I was still alive, somewhere?
I hadn’t even been able to see him that last day, after E had dragged him from the Nether. Was he okay? Had he made it? My gut clenched at the thought. I closed my eyes, and focused, then I breathed a sigh of relief. My connection to Brennan, the one I’d made after he’d been healed from the shifter plague, still existed, bright, warm, soothing. Once again, I couldn’t feel my connection with Nain, but remembered it well enough to know that it felt more to me like a searing inferno. I’d stupidly believed, in the beginning, that that inferno, the passion, meant that Nain and I were supposed to be together, that two beings of the Nether, bonded, just made sense.
I knew now, that what makes sense is being with someone who makes you happy, who feels like home. Nain being back had, strangely enough, only made me more sure that Brennan and I were the real thing. With them both alive and well, the only one I wanted was Bren.
I laid down, curled up on myself. It was a moot point, now, unless I figured out a way to get back to my own realm.
I need clothes, I thought blearily as I dozed off again.
♦ ♦ ♦
When I opened my eyes, it took me a while to remember, again, where I was and how I got there. And it just depressed me and pissed me off all over again. My eyes adjusted to the dark interior of the cave, and I saw something move.
I froze.
I continued to look, as my eyes adjusted more, and, eventually, I could make out the dark shape of what looked like some kind of huge animal, so large it blocked most of the meager light coming in the cave entrance. It sat. Dog? Wolf? Its round eyes glowed a dark, stormy blue.
I barely breathed. It looked like it would really hurt if it decided to start attacking me.
I sat up slowly, readied myself to throw flames if I had to. Gods I hoped my powers still worked the way I remembered them.
The animal cocked its head, inspecting me. In that moment, it reminded me of Eunomia, and I thought of her with a pang. She was trapped in my world, much as I was trapped in hers. I watched the creature, and it watched me. The more my eyes adjusted, the more sure I was that it was some kind of large dog or something. Then, it turned and padded out of the mouth of the cave, leaving me alone.
I got up and walked toward the cave entrance, trying to see the animal better, but my foot hit something on the floor, near where it had been sitting. Something soft. I bent down and touched it, timidly, half expecting it somehow to turn into something that would rip my arm off.
Cloth.
I picked the bundle up, and found that a long sleeved top, a pair of pants, and a soft pair of some kind of leather boots had been left.
As nice as it would be to not walk around with all my parts on display, I felt more than a twinge of apprehension. Somebody knew I was here. And if somebody knew, then the element of surprise I was counting on was lost. I picked the shirt up, fumbling with it, and noting that it had two large slits in the back, which I was able, after some maneuvering and quite a bit of swearing, to push my wings through. I eyed them, warily, as I pulled my pants on.