Broken Heart 07 Cross Your Heart (22 page)

“It fits our hypothesis,” said Tez. “He’s obsessed with her, gives her the book.”

“What if Elizabeth did the land run with Paul?” I asked. “They’re engaged, maybe too poor to buy land of their own. They have a chance to start over in the new territory… so they come to Oklahoma.”

“They stake out their plot, and Elizabeth breaks off the engagement. She marries Jeremiah instead and becomes the belle of the town.” Tez nodded. “That’s a good scenario, too. But either way, the story ends the same. Paul gets obsessed with her, can’t let go, and he kills her.”

“Then he somehow forces the wives of the four other founding families to commit suicide?” I asked. “That doesn’t tie in to the demon shadow.”

“Well, he was the one to call it forth.”

“It all goes back to why,” I said, feeling frustrated. “Why would anyone go through all the trouble of calling forth a powerful ancient demon—one who thrives off greed?”

“Sounds like a rich man’s demon,” said Tez.

“Sounds like a poor man’s demon,” I countered.

Tez stood up and stretched, and those lovely chest muscles of his expanded in a most alluring way. All thoughts fled my mind. I found myself off the floor and pressed against him without even realizing I’d done so—not until he leaned down and gave me a lazy kiss.

“We’ve discovered a lot of useful information,” said Tez. He slid his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against him. “Let’s call it a night.”

“But it’s at least three hours before daylight.”

“Yeah,” said Tez, grinning. He cupped my buttocks and squeezed me so that I rubbed against his thickening length. “But I have a few ideas about how to spend those hours.”

“We should at least check out the last box,” I said. “I don’t want to return to this room. I don’t like it up here.”

I wasn’t sure if Tez would let common sense rule, or if he would throw me over his shoulder and march to the bedroom. I was sorta hoping for the latter. I’d never been taken to bed in such a manner, and I have to admit I liked the idea.

Tez sighed. “You’re right. We’ll look in the last crate, take a quick gander at the rolltop, and get outta here.”

“We should take the box with the archives and give it to Eva. She’ll want it for the library. Or she will once she’s well again.”

Tez kissed me again, dipping his tongue into my mouth, offering a promise of what delights awaited me.

“Let’s hurry,” I said.

“Damn right.” He let me go, and then knelt down and started loading up the papers and books into the crate we’d emptied. He wasn’t exactly being careful, but I couldn’t blame him. We could straighten it all out later.

I was eager to leave, too, and not just because I wanted to get naked with Tez. My grandfather’s secret room had tainted my memories of him. I hated the idea that he’d known about his mother’s murder and helped, so many years later, to continue the cover-up. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but here was the evidence of his duplicity.

I was hoping to find just another batch of fine Scotch, but instead I found a wool blanket. Impatient, I yanked it out. Something bounced out of its folds, spun across the floor, and landed at Tez’s feet.

Horrified by what I’d done, and what had fallen out, I stood there like a moron and clung to the blanket.

Tez bent down and picked up the skull. He looked at me. “Look at that, Ellie Bee. You’ve lost your head.”

“That’s not funny!” I dropped the blanket and marched to him, taking the skull.

“Well, at least you’ve got another one for your collection.”

“Oh, be quiet.” I examined the skull. It was damaged, and not from its unfortunate dance across the floor. A hole permeated the back, and cracks radiated from the trauma.

“Blunt instrument,” said Tez. “The victim was hit with extreme force.”

I couldn’t imagine to whom the skull belonged, or why my grandfather had hidden it. I prayed it wasn’t the cranium of one of the women we presumed dead—but then if it wasn’t… who the hell else had been killed?

We examined the box, and found nothing else. No other bones, no missing piece of the skull, and certainly no note indicating whose head had been sitting in my grandfather’s attic.

“The plot thickens,” said Tez. “I guess we need to take the skull back, too.”

“Stan will want to examine it.” I looked at the rolltop desk and dread filled me. What would we find in it? I was getting weary of all the morbid surprises.

Tez packed the skull in the blanket and put it on top of the crate we planned to take with us. “Tell you what. I’ll empty the rolltop. Whatever’s in there, we’ll examine tomorrow, okay? Let’s go downstairs and relax.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” I was relieved by Tez’s practical suggestion, and his willingness to take over what had become a laborious task. “I need to check in with Damian and let him know what we found. I’ll tell him about our theories, too. Maybe he has some good news about Patsy and Eva.”

“I hope so, Ellie.” Tez gave me a hug, and I didn’t realize how much I wanted one. How wonderful it was to have a partner who understood what I needed and could provide it. I couldn’t recall the last time I had felt cared for, and Tez did it as naturally as breathing.

We headed downstairs, and when we entered the study, we made sure the secret door was closed tightly. Tez promised to retrieve everything later, and I was grateful we’d decided to take a break. I felt only a little cowardly about abandoning the room and its contents.

I really wanted to settle down with a cup of tea. Or a dry martini.

“I’m going to run a hot bath,” said Tez as we entered our bedroom suite.

“Oh, that sounds wonderful. When you’re finished, I’ll take one.”

He laughed. “I took a peek at that bathroom. I think the entire defensive line of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers can fit in that tub.” He took me into his arms and smiled. “I meant that I would run the bath for you. I know you’re stressed, and you can’t drink that sissy tea you like so much, so I’ll fill the tub. You soak. I’ll load up the Honda with our creepy cargo.”

“I can run my own bath,” I said, touched by his thoughtfulness.

“It’s not about you being capable. It’s about you letting someone help shoulder your burdens. It’s about you remembering that you’re worthy of being taken care of—and you deserve to be pampered.”

He was right. I wasn’t very good at letting others take care of me. Granted, I hadn’t had anyone in a long time who wanted to do so. It was much easier to do things myself than to rely on others. I realized there were plenty of people (relatively speaking) who would gladly help me. I was too used to taking care of everything, and it was hard to trust others to do the job right. I was used to being relied upon, to being the clear head and the straight shoulders. Elizabeth Bretton could always put things aright, and she never, ever fell apart.

“I would very much appreciate you running a bath for me,” I said. “And I hope you’ll join me.”

“Rain check, princess.” He kissed my forehead and let me go.

I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Rain check?”

“See, here’s the thing. You gotta learn to take. Just… take. You don’t have to give back. Me doing something for you is not a debt. You gotta stop trying to earn a gold star for your life chart.” He tapped my temple. “You keep score, princess. I don’t.”

I opened my mouth to deny his ridiculous accusation, but no words came out.

“God, you’re cute,” he said. He kissed me lightly before disappearing into the bathroom. I heard him whistling “Don’t Be Cruel,” and then I heard the rush of water as he turned on the faucets.

I stood in the bedroom, feeling off-kilter. I never considered myself a scorekeeper. I didn’t keep track of doing nice things for other people. I never felt as though I was owed for any kindness I’d given.

But that wasn’t Tez’s point, and I knew it.

I did keep track of the kindnesses done for me. I never wanted to feel as though I was indebted to someone else, no matter how small the favor. If a friend dropped by and brought flowers, I’d drop off some cookies the very next day. One time, Darrius had come to my rescue in town and changed a flat tire. I sent him a case of his favorite lager. I planned to gift Lenette and her sisters with a selection of coffees for the boxes of scones. I’d already insisted on paying them for the room Tez and I had taken, though Lenette tried to refused my payment. As I recounted all the times I’d repaid every, single nice thing others had done for me, I realized my motivation had very little to do with gratitude.

I didn’t want anyone anywhere to be able to claim I owed them.

I thought about Henry, and how his betrayal had cut me to the quick. Was that when I started paying attention to who did what for whom? We stayed married, we even stayed friends, but I made damned sure he could never hurt me again. I had no faith in him, and, somehow, I had transferred that lack of faith to every relationship.

Deep down inside, I had decided that no one wanted to help me just to help me. That was too simple an explanation. Everyone had a motive; everyone had an angle. Tez had figured out this facet of my personality; he’d seen it clearly even when I had not. He didn’t seem bothered by it, and he hadn’t been cruel when he called me to the carpet, either.

I felt ashamed about how I had dishonored the genuine affection of my friends by overcompensating with gift giving. If I didn’t keep score of what I happily did for others, then why couldn’t I believe that my friends did the same? Was I so caught up in my own insecurities I couldn’t even accept Tez’s offer of running a hot bath without thinking about how to repay the gesture?

“You still having that epiphany, princess?” Tez leaned against the doorjamb of the bathroom, and studied me.

“I’m afraid so,” I said. “It’s quite disturbing to see such a glaring flaw in one’s own personality.”

“You gonna need therapy?” He stayed in the doorway, his arms crossed, his expression inscrutable. But I saw the glimmer of humor in his eyes.

“Quite possibly.”

“I got my own flaws.” He shook his head slowly, as if pitying himself. “Maybe we could share that therapist.”

“Do you take anything seriously?”

“I take how I feel about you very seriously.”

I realized I’d left the door open for that response. I wasn’t sure what to say next, but Tez did. He crossed the room and took my hands in his. “No one’s perfect. And seeking perfection isn’t the path to happiness. Believe me, princess. You know what people want more than anything? The one gift we all really need, but never seem to get?”

“What?” I asked softly.

“Acceptance. We want someone to look at us, and really see us—our physical flaws, our personality quirks, our insecurities. And we want them to be okay with every square inch of who we are. We’re always afraid we might be too needy or too much work. We put all these limitations on ourselves and our relationships because we’re afraid that we’re not really loved. That we’re not really accepted. We hide little pieces of ourselves because we think that might be the one thing that finally drives away the person who’s supposed to love us.”

I was awed by his insight. That was exactly what I wanted—to receive and to give. How wonderful it would be to know that my lover saw me as I was, and would accept me body and soul? And that I could do the same for him?

Tez pulled me in close, his eyes glittering with the emotion I could not name because it was too soon. It was insane to feel that way now when we barely knew each other, and were worlds apart in so many ways, not least of which was our own natures.

“I can promise you this, Elizabeth. At the end of the day, no matter what’s happened between us, I will let it go. I will tuck you into my arms and kiss you and let it go. We’ll have a lot of good things together. We’ll laugh every day. But I will argue with you. I’ll make you cry. We’ll drive each other crazy. You’ll want to skin me and hang my pelt over the fireplace. But I will never turn away from you. And no matter how damned flawed you think you are, you are worthy of loyalty. You deserve devotion. I will give that all to you, and more.”

No one had ever said such loving things to me before. I knew that Tez meant every word, and I was humbled by his sincerity. It very much sounded like a marriage proposal, though he couldn’t mean it to be so. This wasn’t the end of a romance novel where the heroine threw herself into the hero’s waiting arms and agreed to marry him.

Sometimes, people didn’t get happily-ever-afters. Look at my great-grandmother, and the other women of Broken Heart. A hundred years ago, what love they had known was stolen from them by Paul Tibbett.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “You make me feel… Well, that’s just it. You make me feel.” I wished I could say something as beautiful and profound as he had, but I didn’t have it in me. Not yet. I wanted to make that leap of faith—just dive off the cliff and know that I could fly. But I was standing at the edge of it still, weighing the pros and cons.

He kissed me lightly. “C’mon.” He led me into the bathroom and turned off the flowing water. Then he undressed me, and scooped me up in a sudden whoosh. I squealed.

And he laughed.

Then he lowered me into the warm water, not caring how wet he got from the effort. “You’re a beautiful woman.”

“Lonely, too.” I sniffed. “Look at all this tub, and just little ol’ me inside it.” I batted my eyelashes outrageously.

“Nice try, princess.” He tapped my nose. “Enjoy your bath. I’m gonna load up the car, and run a little errand. I promise I’ll be back before dawn.”

I immediately wanted to know where he was going, but then I realized if he’d wanted me to know, he would’ve said. I trusted him—and I knew he would return. That was all I really wanted: To know the man I loved would always come home to me.

Not that I was acceding to loving Tez.

But I liked him very, very, very much.

Tez ran his finger over my shoulder, his gaze dipping toward my breasts. Then he heaved a great, anguished sigh. “I better go before I ravish you.”

I opened my mouth to issue another invitation, but he held up his hand. “Don’t go there. I’m one second away from giving in to temptation.”