Broken Ever After (18 page)

“
That’s what externals were made for.” I poked my tongue out at him “Taking pictures is kind of a hobby of mine, if I didn’t want to become a nurse I’d love to become a photographer. I’d probably be better paid as a photographer actually; maybe I should just do that, then I can stop worrying about maths and worry about my art result.” My parents and my uncle had made it clear I was going to business school to study finance and business management. I had hoped setting my sights on nursing instead would make them relax about my career choice.

“
You have nothing to worry about with your art.”

“
I know” I winked at him playfully.

“
So why nursing? You would really rather give old folk’s shots in their arse over spending every day with art? Or is that what your mum and dad want, for you to have a career in medicine? You’re right though; you’d be better paid as a photographer.” I laughed softly.

“
I’m not bothered about the money really. My family want me to study business and finance so…” I stopped myself from talking shaking my head slightly. “But I can’t with my dire math skills. I guess I was just trying to appease them, but it’s not working.”

“
If you could choose to not work, would you?”

“
What?”

“
What about winning the lottery or falling for a super-rich guy and him giving you a life you deserve?”

“
Know any?” I smiled up at him and shook my head. “Marrying Prince Charming and living happily ever after would be nice, but life isn’t like a movie or a book, there is no fairy tale ending. Money isn’t everything, but I have to do something ‘worthwhile’ according to everyone else. Like photography isn’t worthwhile” I sighed throwing my hands up in the air.

“
You should do it.” I shrugged my shoulders and fiddled with my bottle of water. My parents would have a shit fit if I did; they didn’t even know I was applying for medical school and even though they are a nurse and a surgeon, they’d never let me do it. “You have an unwelcomed admirer.”

“
Lucas? I know; he’s kind of been following me around. I need to use the bathroom but I don’t want to go while he’s watching over me.”

“
Go, I’ll keep an eye on him.” I smiled and walked to the door as quickly as I could in my towering heels. I only got halfway to the bathroom when I heard him behind me.

“
Do you have
any
idea how hot you look tonight, Liv?” His voice was like a rod of ice shoved in my back as I stiffened and tried to hurry my pace a little.
Damn sky high heels.

“
Leave me alone, Lucas!” I grabbed my phone from my purse, set it to call Jamie and tucked it back in. I hope he picks up,
oh my God I hope he picks up!
I ran in to the bathroom and tried to hold the door closed but my heels were too slippery; Lucas pushed it open with ease, shoving me away from the door. I went to the other side of the bathroom and clutched my purse to my chest. “What do you want, Luke? Just leave me alone!” I could feel that familiar sick feeling rise in my throat from when I felt in danger, my heart began to race.

“
I can’t do that, Liv. You have something that I want.”

“
I don’t have anything to give you.”

“
That’s where you are wrong.” he came right up to me running a finger over my face which I swatted away making him angry. “I’m taking what you never gave me,
right now
.” He pushed me up against the wall and gripped me by my throat making it hard for me to breathe; I dropped my purse to the floor trying to loosen his grip with both of my hands. His free hand stroked from my hair and trailed all over my body making me sob, I tried to scream but it wouldn’t come out, I was struggling to even breathe.

“
Luke. Get off. Me!”

“
You know you want it really, come on just loosen up a little. You did before for him. Why is he so different that you’ll spread your legs for him but not me? I knew it was happening all along.” His free hand grabbed at my dress pulling it up and reaching for my underwear. I was really going to be sick, all the memories rushing in of when I was a little girl at the mercy of my uncle.

“
Go to hell!” he pushed his hand harder against my throat and I tried to scream while my hands scrambled with his, all that came out was a half gurgle. I tried kicking him away but he was so much stronger than me. “Luke! Pl- Please!
Let. Me. Go
”

“‘Oh, Jamie… More!’ You’re a fucking whore! I said it was happening! I fucking said it, didn’t I?”
His hand pushed against my throat even more. I felt my head spin; the wall began moving upwards behind me, scraping along my back, the ceiling growing higher.

“
What the hell did she do that deserves
that
?” I could hear Jamie shouting.
Why did who deserve what? Where the hell am I?

“
Sweetheart, can you hear me?” A voice I didn’t recognise was beside me. “Olivia, honey. Come on, wake up.” I felt cool fingers press to my wrist and then felt a hand press against my head and my throat. I opened my eyes and was helped to sit up by a paramedic. A Paramedic? Then everything came flooding back to me, Lucas.

“
You might want to help him do his trousers up.” Jamie growled to someone. I looked up to see Lucas being escorted out of the bathroom by two police officers; I could feel my underwear down my legs but couldn’t move.
Please no!

A female police officer came and knelt down in front of me
, I couldn’t look at her; I found Jamie watching me and held his gaze as I ran through everything that had just happened. I had no idea why I was on the floor, the paramedic said I had passed out but I looked ok. I doubted that very much.

“
We’re going to take you to hospital now, ok?”

“
No, I don’t want to go. I’m fine, please just leave me alone! I’ve had enough people touching me; I don’t want to be touched by anyone else.” I winced at the pain in my throat from Lucas’s hold on it but that didn’t stop the sobs from breaking free at the prospect of being examined and touched again. “Can I- I need to fix-.” I awkwardly stood and slipped into the toilet stall so I could fix my underwear. Jamie came over to me and sat beside me, slipping his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him.

“
You need to at least go to the police station to make a statement. I can come with you, ok? I’ll be back in one sec, I promise.” He got up and left the room, I watched his back as he walked out of the room, hating him for leaving me there. A police woman knelt in front of me.

“
Olivia, we need you to come to the station if you aren’t going to the hospital.” She said in a smooth low voice.

“
Why?” I looked at her puzzled, they have Lucas and I’d told them everything already,
just let me go!

“
So that we can interview you properly, have one of our medical examiners check you for bruises and photograph them for evidence; and we’ll call your parents to let them know that you are with us.”

“
I don’t want my parents to know.” They’d freak out if they knew I was nearly raped, I’d be under house arrest until I was thirty knowing my dad.

She sighed deeply.
“We need to inform them of the incident.”

“
No, I’m eighteen, you can’t tell them anything. I’m not going. I don’t want them to know!” Tears sailed down my cheeks faster. “It’ll break them! I can’t do this to them again.” Judging by the look she was giving me I wasn’t sure if she could even understand a word I was saying through my tears.

“
Do you not think they will be worried about you?”

I dragged in a deep calming breath.
“I’m staying with my friends so I’ll be ok. I’ll explain to them in the morning. He never- I’m ok. Please just leave me alone.” I begged.

“
If you don’t press charges we can’t do anything with him. We’ll have to let him go in the morning.” I sighed, feeling defeated. He never actually raped me so I wasn’t sure what they could charge him with anyway.

“
You’ve got to be kidding me? Did you see him?” Jamie shouted. When did he come back in? I looked up at him, he was furious. “Olivia, you
have
to press charges!” He looked at me so sternly that I was almost afraid of him. He was giving me that scary look he does when someone misbehaves in class, but what I could only describe as him holding thirty times more anger.

“
No! I don’t want any trouble. I just want to leave. Can you take me?” I looked up at Jamie; he and the police woman had a silent exchange and she left the room. “Jamie, please! I want to leave!”

“
You are letting him get away with it!” He yelled.

“
No I’m not. I’ll call my uncle in the morning and he’ll deal with Lucas.” I whispered. Yes. Austin will sort him out. My big over protective uncle.

I told Uncle Austin everything. Well usually… He was my confidant. I hadn
’t told him about Jamie yet, I’d have to do that soon or he’d be pissed.

“
What the fuck does that mean?” Jamie looked at me confused.

“
Exactly what it sounds like! Now can we go?” I snapped at him. He helped me up from the floor, wrapping his arm around my waist to steady me.

“
Are your parents’ home?”

“
No, I was supposed to be staying with Violet, but what does that matter if I’m not going there?” I asked.

“
Where are you going?” He asked, looking confused.

“
Your house, if that’s ok?” I whispered, looking up at him through my lashes as I felt a blush creep over my cheeks.

“
Of course” Jamie sounded pretty shocked. “I’ll… erm, call the driver and get him to bring your things to mine from Violet’s.”

I excused myself to the bathroom again
, finally able to go after an hour of drama while he called for my things and said goodbye for me to my friends.

Everyone was back inside
, the paramedics and the police had disappeared so Jamie helped me out into his car. It had turned cool outside and I began shivering; Jamie pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around me. I shivered violently as I slipped my arms in, my body absorbing all of the warmth immediately. I pulled it up around my face and breathed in the scent of Jamie; ripened oranges and his aftershave clung to the fabric.

I couldn
’t do anything but sit in silence during the drive to his house, just staring out of the window and concentrating on the roads, the trees that we passed by, the different flowers, the street names; anything that meant I didn’t have to think about Lucas or anyone else any more.

I looked around in amazement. “WOW! You don’t live here, do you?” Jamie’s jaw tightened as he pulled up to an eight foot intricate swirl of iron which gated off an old manor house. In the distance I could see it lit up on all sides by tiny lights under the roof’s edge. I’d often ran by this house on my nightly runs wondering who’d live in a house like it. Jamie certainly wasn’t who I’d imagined.

“
If you can afford this on a teacher’s salary I’m obviously picking the wrong career.” he shook his head slightly.

“
It was my grandfather’s house; it was left to me when I was a boy along with his business. I’ve lived here since. I don’t share his love for business, just his love for maths, so someone looks after that for me while I teach.” he smiled at me. It looks like we have more in common than I first thought.

“
Wow! I had no idea!”

“
No one does. No one knows about any of it, it’s not something I share. You seemed pretty close with your grandparents, I was the same.”

“
I guess we all have secrets.”

“
What does that mean?”

“
Nothing” I said looking down at my hands in my lap before changing the subject. We sat talking in the car until the Limo pulled up. Jamie got out and grabbed my things, tipped the driver a hefty sum from what I could see and came to open my door for me.

“
My dad was like my grandfather; he had a strong business sense and was always away. Mum hated it; she was always drinking so I spent my time here. When they died they left it all to me. My dad disowned me because he got nothing. Mum was suddenly really interested in my wellbeing, ‘til I turned eighteen and paid her off, I haven’t seen either of them since. I put myself through college with the consent of my trustees and then Uni to become a teacher, everyone thought I was nuts just wanting to teach after I managed to graduate so fast, I told myself I’d never be my dad and my wife whenever I got one would never be like my mum. My family would know who I am, not just what I do.” I looped my arm through his, brushing up and down his forearm with my other hand.

“
That’s really sweet. And for what it’s worth, from what I know of you, you are nothing like your dad.” I reached up and placed a small gentle kiss on his lips. I’d been dying to feel his lips on mine again all night but I’d forgotten until that moment.

Jamie
opened the door flipping on the light. It was massive. He turned around and winked at me, earning a raised eyebrow from me. There was a huge wooden staircase facing the door that branched left and right at the top. It was stunning. There were big rooms to the left and right but they were too dark to see in to. He walked in to the room immediately to my left and flipped a switch on the wall, shedding light on the ultra-modern living room, with a huge flat screen TV pinned to the wall and a giant U-shaped arrangement of black leather sofas took up the middle of the room.

“
Sit” he smiled and waved me towards the sofas. “You look really pale, do you want something to drink? Or even to eat? You said you didn’t eat much for dinner.”

“
Can I have a glass of water please?” I clutched my hands around my stomach praying that I wasn’t sick over Jamie’s carpet. Why did I feel sick? I became aware of my hands shaking as I played with the material of my dress. Why was I so nervous? He came back in carrying a glass of water with ice floating on the top and a bucket in his other hand.

“
Just in case” He smiled at me and handed me the water but my hands were shaking so much that the ice clinked against the side of the glass repeatedly. “Baby, you’re shaking, are you ok?” I took a sip of the water and quickly set the glass down on the table.

“
I don’t know” Jamie lifted his hand to my forehead and brushed a curl of hair out of my eyes.

“
You don’t feel hot or clammy, do you feel dizzy or anything?”

“
No, I’m not going into shock Jamie, I’ll be fine.”

“
You don’t look fine, do you want to go and lie down?” He paused for a moment in thought. “None of the rooms are made up so you can have mine I guess.” He smiled at me and threaded my hand through his arm to take me with him. “Come on, I’ll show you the way m’lady.” I laughed nervously and held on to his arm as we went up the giant stairway. His room was off to the left through huge double doors; he walked straight through the room to put a bedside lamp on and put my bag down on a chair beside the window. “There you go. There is a bathroom through there and plenty of towels and stuff if you want a bath or shower so help yourself. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything else.” He smiled and headed for the door.

“
You’re going? Please don’t leave me on my own. Stay with me, please. Sleep in here, which side do you prefer? I promise I’ll keep to my side.” I sounded pathetic begging but I knew I’d end up having nightmares and I couldn’t wake up alone in a strange room.

“
I thought you’d like to be alone, but I can stay if you wish.” He gave me a small nod.

“
Thank you. I don’t want to be on my own just now.” I whispered to him and shuddered thinking of what happened the last time I was alone. A stray tear escaped my eye; Jamie walked over and gripped me in a big hug.

“
Hey… Shh… It’s ok, you’re safe here, ok? You are safe, I won’t let anyone hurt you, baby, I promise.” He kissed the top of my head and held me. I pulled my head back to look at him and put my arms around to the back of his neck.

“
Jamie… Kiss me” He leant down and pecked his lips softly to mine but it wasn’t enough. “I want you to make it all go away. Make me forget.” I tried to pull his lips back to mine but he pulled backwards away from me.

“
No, not now, you’re in shock.” He tried to loosen my grip on his neck.

“
I’m not! I’m here, I want you, only you, now make me forget everything but that.” I was lucky as a child to escape experiencing what nearly happened tonight, there was no way someone was going to take what is mine to give, I want to give it before the choice is taken from me. “
Please.
” I whispered.

I pulled him back down to kiss me. He put his lips to mine again gently
, placing delicate little kisses over my lips. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip for me to open up to him which made me smile with victory. I gripped his messy hair in my fingers, it was so soft, I could play with it for days; he moaned as I twisted my fingers in it, gripping harder.

Jamie
’s hand started roaming over the fabric of my dress under his jacket, luxuriating in the feel of the silk as it slid between his hands and the skin on my back, my rear, my thighs and my stomach. His hands were everywhere but it wasn’t enough. I let go of his hair, moving my hands to the front of his shirt to grip him closer to me; I reluctantly let go of him and pushed his jacket from my shoulders letting it slide down to the floor. My hands roamed over his shoulders to his chest and his stomach, loving the gentle ripples of muscle hiding under his shirt.

I slid my hand
s up to his tie, gripping the knot as I pulled the green silk through to release it, slowly pulling it from his collar and dropping it to my side. I began undoing his shirt buttons slowly; once I had them all open, I untucked the back from his trousers so it hung open around him.

Running my hands over his chest and stomach, I trailed my nails across his flesh making him shiver.

I felt his hands grip on to my shoulders and he quickly stepped back leaving me feeling cold and lost as his warmth disappeared from my reach.

“
Jamie?”

“
We shouldn’t be doing this, you’re in shock, you had a big fright earlier, and you need to get some sleep.”
No?
I thought I was the one that always stopped us, but that was because we
had
to stop, now we didn’t have to, but he
wanted
to?

“
W- what?” I managed to stammer out.

“
You should get to bed, baby.”

“
No, why?” I stepped towards him but he stepped back holding me at arm’s length.

“
Just… don’t make this any harder than it is, Liv. Please just… can we just go to bed?”

“
Why are you pushing me away?” He sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair.

“
I don’t want to, I just… I don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re upset.” He walked over to fetch my bag from the chair and handed it to me. “You can change in the bathroom.” I nodded and took my bag from him and turned. I closed the door behind me, dropping my bag to the floor and wiped the stray tear that slipped down my cheek.

I heaved a sigh and went to the sink to splash water over my face and wiped away my make
-up. I brushed my teeth hoping it would get rid of the horrible sick feeling that I still felt and pulled my pyjamas from my bag. I removed all of my jewellery and laid it neatly out on the long counter by the sink, cursing the fact that I hadn’t put the boxes in my bag.

I reached for the zip at the back of my dress and remembered how I
’d needed help to do it up.
Shit!
I tried to get it myself but it was too stiff, I only managed to move it a couple of inches. I looked to the door and back to the mirror and sighed at myself.

“
Jamie?” He was sat on the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his head resting in his palms. He slowly lifted his head to look at me. “I err… Violet’s mum had to do my zip up for me, it’s too stiff for me to get, can you erm… can you get it for me?” I asked nervously as my cheeks flared red. He raised an eyebrow as he stood from the bed and smirked at me as he walked over. He stood in front of me; bending his head a little he placed a gentle kiss against my lips.

“
Turn around” He whispered against my lips. In one long movement he took my hair from my right shoulder and swept it all up over my left; his warm hands brushing over my neck made me shiver. I felt his nose brush through my hair and his lips gently press to my neck, I tried to hold in another shiver but couldn’t. Jamie’s hands went to my zipper and he began fiddling with it, obviously struggling just as much as Lisa and I had. “Wow you weren’t kidding.”

I laughed with him
as his fingers skimmed down my back with the zipper all the way to the middle of my rear where the zip ended. I felt Jamie pull the opening of my dress slightly as he settled his thumbs into the indents of the two dimples on my lower back as his fingers curled around my hips; he shocked me by pressing his lips just above my panties, kissing a slow trail all the way up my spine.

I couldn
’t help the moan that escaped my lips as I felt him kissing my neck again; his grip tightened on my hips in reply, pulling me closer to him. A little voice screamed at me reminding me how not ten minutes ago he’d pushed me away and I came back to my abandoned senses, turning in his grip to face him.

“
Thanks… I should erm…” Looking up into his eyes I forgot all reason and purpose as I stumbled through my words to him. “I should go- I should go get changed.” He did nothing but nod slightly as I continued to stand there and stare up at him; his grip didn’t loosen on my hips and I made no effort to move away from him as his gaze flicked between my lips and my eyes.

Pushing the rising fear of rejection down in my stomach in a moment of bravery
, I leaned forward and captured his lips with mine. Jamie softly returned my kiss and snaked his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him. I tentatively put my hands on his bare stomach, slowly moving up over his chest to his shoulders. He began to kiss over my cheek up to my ear and down my neck, as his hands crept up my body to slide the shoulders of my dress off; I dropped my hands from his shoulders and felt my dress skim down my body as it fell in a pool around my feet.

I slowly placed my hands back inside
of his open shirt on his shoulders and began to push it back. Jamie undid the cuffs of his shirt and tugged it off quickly throwing it away; he kicked his shoes off and discarded of his socks. My hands went to his belt which I slowly unbuckled and I began kissing down his neck, his chest, his stomach, until I was trailing tiny kisses along the waistband of his trousers. I knelt on the floor in front of him and slowly undid his button and zip and removed his trousers, freeing his erection from the strain of them. I gave him a kiss through his boxers and kissed my way back up his body to his lips.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and began runnin
g my nails up and down his back, as I pulled him closer to me. “I think you are still a little over dressed” he whispered in my ear then walked around to stand behind me again; he moved my hair back over my left shoulder and began kissing my neck at my sweet spot. I tried to stifle the moan rising in my throat at the feel of his lips there again but I couldn’t.

Lifting my hand up to his hair
, I held him there as I stumbled against him. He moved one hand to my lower abdomen applying a tiny amount of pressure that made my insides twist in pleasure; I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs as my body ached for him. His other hand roamed freely over my body settling to massage over my breasts, bringing them to hard points through my bra.