Broken (Broken #1) (47 page)

Two men come over and separate
the fight, not that it can be called that. Nathan was kicking arse
until they showed up. I actually feel bad for Carl and his broken
nose and his lip that’s bleeding so profusely from the side, I have
a terrible feeling it’ll need stitches.

Nathan scoops the envelope up
from the ground and tucks it inside his jacket. His hand trembles
as he grips my arm, guides me to the passenger side and forces me
in.

His angry brown eyes glare at
Carl who is still being restrained and ordering that somebody call
the police. Everybody seems a little bit stunned by the events.
This is a small town, this just doesn’t happen here.

“
Are you
okay?” I ask softly, not knowing what else to say. His lips are a
thin white line and a vein bulges on his forehead. He turns on the
ignition and reverses out of his parking spot, causing two people
to leap to the side out of the way. Christ. Is he crazy? “Calm
down.”

He ignores me and races out of
the car park way over the speed limit. His anger is obvious, so
much so, I’m surprised he’s not glowing red. Actually, he looks
like he kind of is.

“
Do you want
to tell me what’s going on?” I snap and look over my shoulder at
Dillan waving his chubby arms around. Nathan finally slows when we
reach the end of the street, my body relaxes a fraction but not
much. “Nathan. What’s in the envelope?”

“
Don’t ask,”
he doesn’t sound angry or even irritated, he sounds desperate.
“Please. Just… don’t ask.”

“
Why?”

“
Because
you’ll hate me,” he says this brokenly, as if this is worse than
any other possibility.

“
I doubt
that,” I place my hand on his arm. “Tell me.”

“
I
refuse!”

Gah. “Fine. I won’t ask.” At
least not whilst I can see how clearly upset he is.

We drive home in silence, it’s
tense and uncomfortable and brings back memories of our first
couple of months together.

“
Nathan?” I
call as he makes his way into the house. He stops to unlock the
door before coming back to help me unload the boot.

“
Take Dillan
inside,” he demands. “Oh, and next time I leave you alone for five
minutes, don’t talk to anybody. Not even Paula or
Jeanine.”

My mouth drops open,
“What?”

“
You heard
me.”

“
You expect
me to ignore my friends because of something you won’t tell me
about? Something that will clearly affect me.”

His broken and pleading gaze
comes to me. His tone matches, “Yes.”

“
This is…” I
pick up Dillan and hold him tight to me. His eyes peek up at me as
I clutch him to my chest. “Ridiculous. Just tell me what it is, rip
off the plaster, I’m not stupid. I know you’re being blackmailed,
that much is obvious. Especially now.”

“
Take Dillan
inside,” he hisses, his tone telling me that he’s not to be trifled
with.

“
I’m going to
take him inside, and then we’re going to talk.”

“
No we’re
not.”

I give him the same look he
gave me only moments ago, “Oh, we are.”

His face registers that of
shock, I’ve never spoken to him this way before. If I didn’t know
any better I’d say he was amused for a moment before realizing that
this time, I’m not going to relent.

I’m confident that Nathan won’t
leave to avoid me, not when he’s obviously trying to hide something
and whoever is trying to deliver it is being relentless about
it.

Dinner is as silent and as
tense as the drive home. Whenever I try to speak to him he
completely blanks me as if I’m not here. To say I’m frustrated
would be an understatement.

“
Still
talking to myself I see,” I mumble and follow Nathan up the stairs.
He continues up to his room and even has the gall to slam the door
in my face. “You can’t keep hiding from me, you’re going to have to
talk to me eventually.”

I try the handle but he’s
locked it from the inside.

“
Nathan,
please.”

“
Go away
Gwen,” he pulls the door open, his face now inches from mine. “I’m
serious. Go away.”

“
Arsehole,” I
swear, looking for a reaction. His jaw tenses. “Dick. Shit. Bitch.
Bollocks.” A hand slams over my mouth and a very tense looking
Nathan glares at me. I continue with my cursing, even though it’s
muffled by his palm.

“
You’re going
to keep pushing me aren’t you?” He sighs, his hand still covering
my now silent mouth. “I’m not going to tell you, so please, just
drop it.”

“
It’s clear
to me,” I begin when he removes his hand from my mouth. “That I’m
going to find our eventually. Maybe you should just trust me with
this, tell me before somebody else does.”

His face pales, his eyes
glitter with sorrow. “I can’t.”

My heart lurches and my hand
immediately comes up and grips the back of his hair, “I can see
that it’s hurting you. Trust me with it.”

He seems to think on it for a
moment, then the shutters come down, hiding all emotion from me.
“No.”

Seconds later he’s gone and the
door has been slammed and locked again. I’m half tempted to go
outside and wait for another messenger, but I don’t.

Instead I retreat to the
nursery and play with my baby boy. He still hasn’t smiled yet and
he’s now officially five weeks old. Time flies. I can’t believe how
well he’s holding his head up. It’s madness.

“
Peekaboo,”
nothing. Nothing but a blink. I guess he doesn’t like peekaboo any
more than his uncle likes it.

This entire situation is so
frustrating, I hate being kept in the dark. I’m not used to
secrets. I don’t have many friends and the friends I do have tell
me pretty much everything. My mum didn’t have any friends or family
as I grew up so there were no secrets there either. As for Caleb,
he never kept anything from me. There wasn’t a point in our
relationship where I felt like he was hiding something. Not that I
can recall anyway.

Caleb, if you’re up there,
please give me a clue. I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m
scared. Fear is one of my quick to react emotions. It’s usually the
first thing I feel when faced by a difficult situation. Although
I’m not a coward by any means, I tend to face my fears head on. I
just hate feeling fear.

I need it to stop. I need to
get Nathan back to his normal self.

Why do I have a terrible
feeling that it’ll never happen? Why do I have a terrible feeling
that I’m about to lose another part of me?

A week goes by, Nathan left the
first morning after the incident. I don’t know where he is or why
he’s dared to leave me. All I know is that I’ve left the house with
Dillan, expecting someone to come up to me with this bloody
envelope that clearly hides something tremendous. Yet nobody
has.

Which means Nathan has dealt
with it.

This thought brings me a small
amount of relief. At least my world isn’t about to turn upside
down. I’ve come to rely on Nathan too much and this past week has
been hard. Harder than it should have been.

I just wish he’d come home. Or
at least answer the phone when I call.

At least I have Dillan for
company. That’s a relief.

Of course I tried to search for
this envelope too, I didn’t just hang around and wait for it to be
delivered. Unfortunately Nathan’s office and bedroom were both
locked and I couldn’t find a trace of it anywhere else. This also
kept me occupied.

I’m woken by the sound of soft
words being spoken through the baby monitor. I can’t quite make out
what’s being said but I can tell it’s Nathan. Checking the clock I
see that it’s just turned midnight. Relief fills me when I fully
register the fact that I’m not dreaming and Nathan is in fact home.
So I scramble from my bed and quietly creep to the nursery.

The door is open, Nathan is sat
in the rocking chair with his back to me. I can see the top of
Dillan’s head resting on the curve of Nathan’s arm as he rocks
backwards and forwards.

“
Hey, I
didn’t hear him wake,” I say softly, noticing Nathan’s body tense
as I move closer.

My gorgeous little boy is fast
asleep, swaddled in a beige blanket. Nathan lifts him to his lips,
kisses his chubby cheek before placing him in his cot and tucking
him in. He stands with his back to me, his hands gripping the
wooden railing.

“
Are you
okay?” I don’t know what to say, this seems the most plutonic thing
to say considering the circumstances.

Nathan shakes his head, “Just
saying goodbye.”

“
You’re
leaving again?” My voice comes out breathy and full of panic and
disbelief. “If this is…”

“
Not here,”
cold, calm and emotionless brown eyes come to me. A draft hits my
body as he passes, causing me to shiver slightly. Or maybe that’s
his cold demeanour making me feel slightly chilled.

I follow him into his office
and sit in the chair beside his desk. He stares down at a few
sheets of paper in front of him, his tongue runs across his lower
lip. Please don’t be leaving. Don’t leave us.

I say this out loud, my tone
pleading, almost begging. Hell, it is begging. I’ll beg if I have
to.

“
I’m not
leaving,” he says calmly and looks at me, his inner businessman
shining through. “You are.”

Thud… my heart just hit my
stomach. “What?”

“
It’s time
for you to go back to your mum’s.”

I… I’m leaving? “What?”

“
You heard
me,” he looks down at the papers again and spreads them out along
the desk. “You may leave now.”

I stare at him, my body frozen
in place, my heart beat non-existent.

“
I said you
can go.”

“
I heard you,
I just… I can’t move,” I mutter, my body still with shock. “You’re
throwing me out.” This is a statement, not a question.

“
We knew this
time would come eventually.”

“
But… you
promised you wouldn’t, so no, in fact I didn’t know it would come,”
I argue. “What about Dillan?”

His calm and uncaring
expression doesn’t change, “I’ll see him when I can.” And the
promise? I get no apology for his breaking that?

“
You’re
kidding,” I breathe, grabbing at my stomach like I’ve just been
punched. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“
Do I look
like I’m joking to you?” He hisses and holds his hand out,
motioning for me to leave.

“
Is this
because of what happened?” It suddenly dawns on me. “You’re doing
this on purpose. Pushing me away to stop me from finding out
whatever it is you’re keeping buried.”

“
No,” he
sighs and rubs his face with his hands. “This is because I’m bored
of playing daddy and loving husband to a woman who…” His jaw
clenches and his words stop.

“
Look,” I
lean onto the desk. “If this is because I… it’s just… gah. I mean…”
I won’t ask again. You’re more important to me than whatever the
hell it is that’s ruining our bubble right now. “I won’t bring up
the envelope again, I swear. Just let me be here for
you.”

“
It’s not
about that,” he says almost sounding bored. “I’m over that, I made
a serious misjudgement and I won’t be making it again. The envelope
has been dealt with.”

“
I don’t
believe you,” I state defiantly. This is rubbish, utter rubbish.
I’m not falling for it and I’m not letting him push me
away.

“
Guinevere…”

“
No,” I walk
around the desk and kneel on the ground before him. My body is
aching with a pain I don’t recognise, it hurts, a lot and I need it
to stop. I grip his knees and peer up at him through my lashes. “I
promise I won’t ask and if I do happen to find out, you have my
word that…”

“
Don’t make
promises you can’t keep,” he snarls, his gloved hands pulling at my
wrists in an attempt to get me to release his legs. Why’s he
wearing his gloves again?

I stand immediately and take a
large step backwards, he needs space. “Okay.” My hand goes to my
throbbing chest in an attempt to stop my heart from smashing
through my ribcage and throwing itself out of the closest window. I
try a new tactic. “I know what you’re doing, and you know that I
know what you’re doing. It won’t work. Do your worst. If you think
I’m leaving you when you’re clearly going through something that’s
dragging you down, you’re wrong.” I give him the bravest face I can
muster. “You’re my best friend. Besides, what happened to never
stopping until you had me? Does that no longer count?”

“
No,” he
clears his throat and waves me away. “This was a misjudgement made
by me. I thought we should have been more, in reality I’d just
deprived myself of sex for too long.”

Why does this hurt? Why do I
want to smash something? “Oh.”

“
I’m seeing
somebody.”

Eye roll. “Oh yeah? Who?”

He continues like I haven’t
even spoken, “So I’ll need you to leave, it was awkward enough when
I had Lorna visiting whilst you remained here and she didn’t mean
anything to me.” His eyes darken and his lips curve with a sneer as
he looks me up and down like I’m a chip in comparison to a steak.
“Aisha is a woman of… class.” Ouch. I’m guessing she’s the steak
then. “It wouldn’t suit us to have another woman around. Especially
my brother’s fiancée and his...” He hesitates for a moment, his
eyes straying from mine. “Bastard child.” I heave at his words, a
fierce pain tears through me.