Broken and Screwed (16 page)

             
When Angie grasped my arm, I jerked back to our conversation. I was shaken as I realized a few tears had slipped past my eyes. They streamed down my cheek, but Angie had her own. She pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you. You know that, right? I really do. If you need anything, anything at all, please, please, please call me. Please, Alex.”

             
I hugged her back and nodded, but when she didn’t let go, my arms tightened around her. And then I found myself hugging her back as much as she did with me. Something loosened in me. I didn’t know what it was, but it was something and it was important. When I felt more tears coming, I pulled back and brushed them away. I couldn’t lose it. I didn’t know if I’d put it all back together again.

             
Her hand fell to my arm. Her voice was rough. “I just feel that you’re hurting a lot more than you let on and it kills me. You’ve always been a great friend to me and have been there for me. You deserve that back, you deserve more than that.”

             
I grasped her hand in mine and squeezed it tight.

             
Then Angie groaned. “Oh hell. Look at us. We both look like blathering idiots. Where’s that passive aggressive bitch Sarah Shastaine at a moment like this? She’d wet herself, I swear.”

             
Some laughter ripped out of me. My eyes went wide, but then I couldn’t stop laughing. And Angie joined in. Both of us were giggling so much
,
we were drawing attention. It wasn’t long until Justin found his way over to us. A perplexed look was on his face as he knelt and slung Angie’s bag over his shoulder. “You guys aren’t high, are you?”

             
Angie snorted and swatted at his shoulder.

             
We laughed harder at that.

             
Then he shook his head and sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you at the car, honey.”

             
She nodded. Both of us were overcome with laughter and blinded by tears as well. After awhile, another minute of laughing; it hurt to stop, but we needed to. Angie sighed out loud. “Oh, my word. That felt good, painful but good.”

             
I nodded, grinning like an idiot.

             
“Okay.” She hugged me once more and took a breath. “I’ll see you later. Call me if you’re bored and want to get out of the house tomorrow. Otherwise, there’s a party Friday. We’ll pick you up at six for that.”

             
“What—no—”

             
But it didn’t matter. Angie gave me another wave and headed across the parking lot for Justin’s truck. As she rushed him and threw her arms around his shoulders, pain seared inside of my chest. I wanted that. They were happy. They were in love. I wanted that, but I’d never get it. Another flare of pain surged through me, but I stopped it. I put it on hold and pushed everything down inside of me. Self pity wouldn’t get me anywhere, and right now, I needed to survive.

             
And then I got into my car and headed home to an empty house.

             
When I got home, I learned from a note that my dad went to pick up my mom from the hospital and they were going straight to the airport from there. And then I got another surprise. They would be gone for over two weeks. Apparently, my mother needed a vacation; it was a long awaited one for the both of them and they would see me when they returned. A last note told me not to get in trouble. I flicked the note away after I read that. Trouble? What trouble would they even care about now?

             
Then I remembered Angie’s hug and her words.
‘I just feel that you’re hurting a lot more than you let on and it kills me.’
When the same tears came to the surface, I brushed them away and headed to my room. It wasn’t near evening, but I changed into my pajamas and curled underneath my covers. At this point, I didn’t know what was worse. Having my mom in the house when I knew she was suffering like the rest of us, or not having anyone in the home? Or, I gulped, being alone in the house when I felt Ethan’s presence? Sometimes it was so overwhelming I could only gasp for breathe and hold onto where I was at the moment. Sometimes I was in bed. Sometimes I was at the kitchen table, gripping the table in front of me. When I was on the couch, I hugged the cushion sewn into the couch. By the time it would leave me, I was so shaken and pale that I would look like a ghost if anyone saw me.

             
I always wanted to call Jesse, but I never did. I did now, though. I gave in, but hung up immediately. No good would come from hearing his voice. Only pain.

             
I sighed.

             
Then I stuffed it down again. I’d been doing it for over a year.

             
And with that last thought, I took a deep breath and then put a movie in. It was after my fourth one when the doorbell rang, my cell phone buzzed an alert, and my parents’ landline rang. I jumped and hoped I hadn’t crapped my pants. I threw back the covers and hurried downstairs. The phone kept ringing, so I grabbed that one first.

             
“Hello?”

             
“It’s me.” Angie sounded out of breath.

             
The doorbell went again.

             
“Someone’s at the door. I’ll call you back in a second.”

             
“It’s me. I’m freezing my ass off.”

             
“Oh—” I hung up and went to the door. As I swung it open, a burst of cold air blasted me. Angie and Justin were both shivering and dashed inside. I was pushed against the wall, but when I followed them into the living room, I couldn’t hold back a smile. Angie dove for the blankets and wrapped one around her before she hurled herself on the couch. Justin gave me a slight wave as he was stomping his feet up and down and shaking his hands. 

             
“What are you guys doing here?”

             
Angie rolled to her back on the couch and grinned up at me. She was cocooned like a butterfly. “Marissa called. She found another good deal. Pack your bags. Our plane leaves for Vegas in three hours.”

             
“What? No.”

             
“Come on.”

             
“No.”

             
“Yes.”

             
I opened my mouth, a lame excuse on the tip of my tongue, when Angie rolled her eyes and struggled to sit up. Then she made a show of looking around. I closed my mouth. I already knew where this was going. I beat her to it. “It’s date night.”

             
She snorted. “Yeah, right. No one’s here.”

             
“I told you. Date night. They’re allowed.”

             
Her eyes narrowed. “When are they coming back?”

             
“Tonight.”

             
“Fine.” There was movement under her blanket and I guessed it was her arms crossing over her chest. “Then we’ll stay and wish them Happy Thanksgiving.”

             
Now my eyes narrowed. I said through gritted teeth, “They’re coming back tomorrow, but I’m not supposed to tell anybody that.”

             
“Why not?”

             
“They don’t want overnight guests.” I cringed at that lie. It wasn’t even a believable one.

             
“And what overnight guests wouldn’t they like? Me? They don’t like me now.”

             
I glanced around for Justin, but he was gone. Not a surprise. He had a habit of wandering anywhere we would go. “What’s the point of this? I don’t want to go to Vegas. I can’t afford it.”

             
“I told you. It’s a good deal.”

             
I sighed, “I still can’t. I have no money.”

             
“What about the coffee hut?”

             
“Minimum wage?”

             
She flinched. “You’re right, but that’s okay. It’s my treat. I owe you for all the years of great friendship.”

             
And then Justin came back in with a note in his hand. He held it up with a weird expression on his face. “Since when does date night consist of two weeks?”

             
My stomach hurled to the ground.

             
Angie’s mouth dropped open.

             
I hissed at him, “What are you? A ninja? Stop poking through my house.”

             
He shrugged as Angie threw the blanket off and snatched the note from his hand. Then she cried out, “Are you serious? Your parents left you alone for two weeks? That’s insane.”

             
“It’s no big deal.”

             
“No big deal? It’s a huge deal. That decides it. Shoo. Go pack a bag for the weekend. We’re all going to Vegas.”

             
I folded my arms over my chest and dug my heels in. “I’m fine being alone.”

             
She snorted again.

             
“I am. I have a whole day planned tomorrow.”

             
“What? Eating? Maybe sleeping? Whoop de doo, Miss-Party-Girl-That-You-Used-To-Be.”

             
She wasn’t far off, but I puffed my chest out and ignored the painful reminder of my old self. “No, I was going to watch Jesse’s game tomorrow. It’s being televised.”

             
“Well, guess what?” Her eyes gleamed at me with purpose.

             
I was suddenly nervous.

             
“You can actually go to his game. They play in Vegas, and Marissa’s already got tickets for us. She said Cord owed her and he’s on the team, so what’s your next argument with that?”

             
She’d beaten me. Or the idea of seeing Jesse again had done the trick. I swallowed over a knot from anticipation and tried to tell myself that I was going to pack a bag because Angie had won this argument. Then I shook my head and my heart picked up its pace. I couldn’t lie to myself. I was going to see Jesse. The idea had my hands sweating already.

             
“Fine.” But I said it slowly and oh-so-reluctantly.

             
She smirked. “And don’t even try to pretend that you’re not excited about seeing your guy again. We all know differently.”

             
I froze. What did she know?

             
Then she admitted, “I’m a little excited to see him play. He’s our hometown celebrity. Maybe we should ask for his autograph.”

             
Justin frowned. “I don’t like that idea.”

             
Angie laughed before she draped herself over him and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Then she pressed a kiss to his cheek and hugged tight. “Oh, come on. I love you, but Jesse Hunt is gorgeous.”

             
A small grin escaped his frown. “I have a little bit of a man crush on him. I’m man enough to admit that.”

             
As I went up to my room, I couldn’t hold back my smile. I was excited. I wasn’t even going to try and stuff it down. It was the first time in a long time I’d felt that emotion. When I checked my cell phone, I got even more excited. It was a text message from Jesse, but then I read it.

             
‘U in Vegas? Your folks are here, said they stopped in for a few days before some trip? U here? Call me.’

             
I plopped down on my bed.

             
Everything went numb. The phone fell from my hand and I couldn’t do anything. I sat there. And I didn’t know how long I was there until Angie poked her head around the door. She had a wide smile on her face, but it vanished in a heartbeat. She pushed through the door and sat beside me. “What’s wrong?”

             
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak.

             
Then she bent and lifted the phone from the floor. After she read the text message, she studied me for a moment. Her voice was so small when she asked, “You didn’t know they were going there?”

             
I shook my head. I still couldn’t speak.

             
“How long has this been going on?”

             
Everything in me throbbed. My heart ached. My head hurt. I couldn’t get my fingers to work, but I rasped out, “What?”

             
She lifted my phone. “Your parents. They upped and left you. Now they went to see Jesse and you didn’t even know. Or did you?”

             
I shook my head. Why did everything hurt? It always hurt.