Broken (34 page)

The chuckle a little more resigned, but he
didn't argue, so I launched into my first question before I'd
really thought it through. "What...I mean you're all so
different..." I trailed off into silence worried he was going to be
mad.

"I think you meant to ask what I am." Alec
sighed, but it wasn't an angry sigh, so I nodded, forgetting for a
moment that he couldn't see me in the darkness.

"We share a little in common with a bunch of
different legends, but none get it quite right. In short, we're
shape shifters, people who can take the form of animals."

I'd already seen that for myself, but it was
strangely exhilarating to hear him admit it. "You mean like
werewolves?"

There was a hiss of sound, as if I'd just hit
him. For a second I worried I'd made him angry. "No, not like
werewolves."

I waited for him to elaborate. When the
silence grew too uncomfortable I was the first to crack, just like
always. "Did I say something wrong?"

Alec's voice was surprisingly gentle. "No,
you've nothing to feel sorry about. I should tell you though that
calling a shape shifter a werewolf is the kind of insult that
nearly always results in a fight, and often even a death."

I felt momentarily like I'd been hit. Alec
was waiting for me to respond, but I couldn't bring myself to say
anything.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I
forget sometimes how much more violent my world is."

I wasn't any less shocked, but his tone was
so apologetic I couldn't help but smile.

"That's better; I much prefer the happy Adri
face to the scared Adri."

"Wait, you could see me smile? I guess that
all follows, better hearing, better sense of smell. Of course you'd
have better vision too."

It wasn't until I heard the note of longing
in my voice that I realized what I was missing. Alec didn't have
that same advantage, and I could feel him waiting expectantly.

"Sorry, it's just that this all makes me
think of these amazing dreams I've been having since I arrived. I'm
transported to various places, but in every case I can hear and
smell better than I can in real life. Not only that, everything is
glowing. Only that isn't the right word for it. Mostly there's just
light coming out of the people and the plants and animals. It's so
beautiful. Funny your having more acute senses would make me think
of that."

Alec sighed. "It's bordering on stuff I
shouldn't tell you, but you deserve to know. You've just described
exactly how we perceive the world. The colors are all more vibrant,
the breeze is more alive with scents than anyone could ever
know."

I felt my heart speed up a little as things
started falling into place. "Your paintings. That explains them.
You were superimposing what you see over top of what someone like
me would see. Only how would you know what things look like to
us?"

Alec's chuckle held more than a little
resignation in its timbre. "You are amazing. Anyone else waking up
in a strange place would've run away as soon as they regained
consciousness. At the very least, you should have started
screaming. Instead you wander around, take in some rather feeble
attempts at art, and then sneak out without saying a word."

Secure in the knowledge he could see me, I
stuck my tongue out at him. "Hey, my survival instincts, or lack
thereof aren't the point. Stop trying to distract me."

"I suppose I deserved that. It's just more
than a little unsettling how quickly you're putting pieces
together. There really are things that aren't safe for you to know.
Among them, the reason why it isn't safe for you to know them."

I waited expectantly, and he finally resumed.
"To answer your question, I wasn't always like this. When I was
younger I saw exactly the way that you do. Even now, my vision is
more like yours when I'm in this form. I still see incredibly well,
and there's just the slightest hint of light from living things,
but nothing like what you saw in the dreams."

"So you work from memory mostly then? That
and trying to make what you see when you're in human form even more
drab than what you really see?"

"That about sums it up although I didn't
really expect you to pick up on that last part so quickly. You're
remarkably perceptive."

I felt my face heat at the compliment. I
quickly looked for something worthy of a chuckle to change the
subject. "So what does a seventeen year old shape shifter spend his
time doing?"

I succeeded with my goal of making him laugh.
"Well, I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to keep my
friends away from each other's throats. We've got some pretty
strong personalities, and it's nearly a full time job stopping
minor disagreements from boiling over into something bigger. Apart
from that, I spend an hour or two every day vetting Donovan's
management of the family assets. He does an incredible job with
everything, but even so, there are certain things I have to approve
myself."

"Who's Donovan?"

Another chuckle. "That's one of the most
difficult questions you've asked so far. He likes to call himself
our butler, but that doesn't even begin to describe him. He does
take care of most of the duties a typical butler would assume, but
he's also our financial manager, and long-time family friend. I'm
excited for you to meet him tomorrow. I think you'll like him."

"Yeah, but will he like me?" I sat up in bed,
excited to finally be getting real details about Alec's life.

"Please lie back down. You have to at least
be trying to sleep. Otherwise I'm heading back downstairs. And
don't pout. It won't influence me in the slightest."

"It's
just 
sooo
 hard for my merely human ears to hear you from so far
away. Maybe if you were to move over here I wouldn't have to strain
to catch every word."

It was so blatantly coy, I
almost couldn't believe I was saying it.
It 
had
 been said though, all there was left to do was hope he
didn't decide I was the biggest looser to ever walk the earth. The
extended silence was almost enough to make me decide he was going
to get up and leave.

"Alright, I'll come over and lean against
your bed, but you really need to try and sleep. You've got to be
nearly exhausted."

"What about you mister superhero shape
shifter? You've been up longer than I have. I'm not the only one
who needs to sleep." I tried not to let my voice get too sing-song,
but I felt a completely irrational thrill as he quietly crossed
over to my side of the room.

"That's actually one of the benefits of my
condition. I don't actually need normal amounts of sleep. An hour
or two per night is usually more than enough."

Having him so close to me was somehow both
exhilarating and soothing at the same time. I could feel the tense,
knotty parts of me start to relax for the first time since Simon
and Nathanial tried to kill me. As exhaustion started to finally
eat through all of the nervous energy that'd been fueling me, it
was all I could do to follow what Alec was saying. Still, I wasn't
ready to go to sleep. It felt like he'd disappear if I closed my
eyes.

"So you don't need to sleep. What do you do
with all the rest of your time?"

Alec was close enough now that I could see
his smile. It seemed to reach out and wrap itself around me like a
warm blanket. "Well, I do spend a fairly significant amount of time
each day sitting in class. Kind of like someone else I know."

"Unacceptable. I've added that up in my head,
and you've still got several hours each day that you haven't
accounted for." Despite my best efforts, I was mumbling so badly I
wasn't sure anything I'd said was comprehensible.

Somewhere in there I'd closed my eyes, so I
felt a sluggish, tired kind of surprise when he gently brushed his
fingers across the side of my face. The sensation was so feathery I
almost opened my eyes to verify that he'd really touched me. It was
too much effort. Besides, I didn't really want to know if he hadn't
touched me, it was better to just go on pretending he had.

"I'm afraid that really is the balance of my
time. I spend time with Rachel of course. Then there are a few odd
minutes where I squeeze in some reading, or a bit of painting."

"They're beautiful. Best I've seen.
Ever."

I imagined I could hear him smile. "Thank
you. I'm afraid mostly all I see is the flaws. Even with the most
perfect subjects, I still generally somehow fail to capture their
true essence."

"But not all?"

"No, not all of them."

It was getting harder and harder to string
thoughts together in a comprehensible manner. "Sounds fulfilling.
Busy, but fulfilling."

Alec waited so long to respond that I nearly
drifted off. "It's always seemed fulfilling. At least until
recently."

I wanted to know what he meant, but couldn't
muster the willpower. I already felt myself starting to drift away.
Even the feeling of him caressing my check again wasn't enough to
bring me all the way back to full alertness.

"Somehow that all changed after you arrived.
Little by little I started to realize just how empty my life really
was. I wish I could come right out and say it while you're awake. I
don't want that life anymore. I don't really want any life that
doesn't involve you."

Part of me wanted to scream for joy, to jump
up out of my bed and wrap myself around Alec as tightly as I could,
but I was just too far gone. I half thought I was dreaming it all.
As I finally let sleep pull me down into darkness, I almost thought
I heard Alec say one last thing. The tone was so vulnerable and
hesitant he almost sounded like another person.

"The truth is, I've fallen well and truly in
love with you."

Chapter 23

Someone was calling my name, but I really
didn't want to wake up. I was still so tired, and I'd had the most
wonderful dreams. They were a little foggy now, but they seemed to
have involved Alec coming to my rescue, and then holding my hand as
I went to sleep.

It wasn't until I finally placed the familiar
voice, that everything started coming back to me. I sat up with an
abruptness that nearly knocked Alec off of his perch on the edge of
my bed. Him still being there, looking at me with a barely
restrained amusement glimmering in his eyes, calmed my racing
pulse.

"You're still here."

"You sound disappointed. Do you want me to
leave?" His expression had taken on the guarded blankness I still
hadn't learned how to read, so I wasn't sure whether he was joking
or not.

"No, not disappointed, just surprised. I
figured I'd wake up and find everything had just been one amazing,
crazy dream."

I'd hoped that my reassurance would make the
mask drop, but if anything Alec was looking at me even more
seriously.

"Would you prefer things to take that
course?"

It took me several heartbeats to understand
what he was getting at, long seconds in which his face seemed to
grow increasingly remote. "No, how could you think that? Why would
I possibly want to have you vanish when I've just now finally found
out it's you that's been watching over my mom and I since we got
here?"

Alec looked away for a moment, and then stood
up and walked over to the window. "It would be for the best, you
know. I could arrange for you both to leave the state, and never
have to come back to Sanctuary again. You'd be safer."

I felt my mouth drop open as his words hit me
with almost physical force. I wanted to turn and run away, but the
quasi dream from the night before was just barely vivid enough to
keep me in the room.

"Is that what you want? Not what's best for
me, or what you think is best for me, but what you really
want?"

The silence seemed to stretch into hours
before Alec finally shook his head.

"Good, because I don't want to leave. You
said last night that your life felt meaningless before I came here,
well mine was even worse. The only thing that's kept me sane has
been your behind the scenes help. I want to stay with you. I want
to be with you."

Alec studied me for a moment longer, and then
nodded, a short, choppy motion with little if any of his usual
grace. "Very well then. It's just after ten o'clock. Your mom is
about to pull into the driveway. Do your best to convince her you
spent the night safely at home. We'll stay here and watch over the
two of you. Also, if you can convince her it's safe to leave on an
extended trip, that would be very helpful. Once she's gone, I'll
come back for you."

I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant,
only to be distracted by the sound of the Jeep's engine as it
rolled to a stop on the cement pad.

As I looked back, Alec's eyes seemed to
capture me. "You're sure this is what you want?"

I managed a nod, and then the downstairs door
crashed open. "Adri, honey. Where are you?"

Alec was gone when I looked back, only the
slight sway of my curtains gave evidence he'd just casually jumped
out of my second story window.

I heard mom's equipment bags hit the floor
one after another. The sound of her tromping up the stairs finally
roused me from my state of shock.

"I'm in my room mom."

Apparently the sound of my voice was at least
slightly reassuring, she was only a little wild eyed by the time
she opened the door and stuck her head in my room.

"Oh, there you are dear. I was worried you
were gone."

I forced a chuckle. "Please mom. Where else
would I be? Saturdays are one of my only two chances all week to
actually sleep in. It isn't like I'm going to climb out of bed at
the crack of dawn and go hiking or something."

Mom's chuckle was almost genuine. If Alec
hadn't implied she was going to suspect I'd been up to no good, I
probably wouldn't have even noticed how off she sounded.