Broken (20 page)

Only that didn't make sense. How could I not
have seen part of whatever it was I was looking at? Unless it'd
been blocked by something. But if so I would have drawn whatever it
was that'd been in the foreground. I was even worse than normal
when it came to drawing people or animals, but I had a good memory
for everything else.

I pushed the notepad away in frustration, and
then started shaking as I finally recognized my drawing. It was the
grotto from my dream, and the reason I hadn't filled in the center
was that I'd never seen it. That was the spot where Alec had been
standing.

Chapter 13

Morning came not a moment too soon after a
night filled with plenty of tossing and turning. It seemed like
every time I nodded off, I awoke a few minutes later, my mind
reaching for something that wasn't there, only to snap back as it
didn't find what it was looking for. Each time the backlash woke me
up, I tried to figure out what was going on, but I didn't succeed
until nearly morning.

I'd been trying to find the vivid dreams
again. I'd finally stopped thinking about them, finally stopped
yearning for them every night, only to have my stupid subconscious
somehow mix them up with real life. That was really the thing that
was the most unnerving. I'd only ever unconsciously drawn real
places. To draw a pretend place was surprisingly unsettling, but I
almost couldn't blame whatever part of me had gotten confused. The
dreams were so clear and sharp they almost seemed more real than
the rest of my life.

By the time I finally realized what was
keeping me from getting real sleep it was too late to worry about
trying to get anymore rest. I just stared out my window at the
light the previous owners had mounted on a pole. It was just close
enough to see an amazingly thick cloud of insects swirl around it,
captivated by the artificial glow.

When I walked downstairs I found mom's
camping equipment piled in the living room. For all I'd tossed and
turned, I must have gotten some sleep to have not heard her come
in. I contemplated jotting down a note before just shrugging and
skipping outside, happy for once to be shivering. It wouldn't last.
Eventually the sun would clear the hills, and we'd be headed for
eighty-plus degrees, but I could at least enjoy the next hour or so
without worrying I was going to melt right out of my clothes.

Walking down the lane, I tried to decide
whether or not I wanted Brandon to show up today. After my mixed
signals yesterday I figured there was a better than even chance
he'd 'forget' to come get me. Strangely enough that didn't bother
me as much as I thought it would. It was like walking down the lane
somehow put things back in perspective for me.

How could I really be all that put out about
something I hadn't ever really believed was possible?

I almost refused to believe my eyes when I
came around the bend in our lane and saw a dark blue mustang parked
on the side of the road. Brandon stood up from where he'd been
leaning against the sports car and flashed me a blinding smile. He
moved towards me with a casual grace that made little shivers run
through me despite my earlier decision not to let his interest, or
lack thereof affect me.

"I had a bet with myself that you weren't
going to wait. Somehow the fact I just lost doesn't seem to matter
now."

It didn't seem possible he was talking to me,
that anyone so gorgeous could mean something like that about me. I
opened my mouth, maybe to laugh the comment off, or otherwise hedge
my bets against the humiliation and inevitable mocking laughter.
Whatever it was I'd intended on saying evaporated away the instant
he reached out and slowly slid his finger down the side of my
face.

The tiny part of me that was still screaming
none of this could be real was pulled along by the rest of me. I
completely abandoned myself to the sensations created by his touch.
My nerve endings didn't know whether to classify his finger as icy
cold or scorching hot, but before I could recoil in pain the
sensation gave way to a tingly warmth that sunk down into my
center, simultaneously tightening and relaxing parts I didn't even
know I had.

My pounding heart seemed loud enough to hear
from across the street. I opened my eyes afraid he could somehow
hear the overworked muscle, already flushing red with
embarrassment, only to find a gentle smile waiting for me. If there
was any insincerity to the expression, I was utterly unable to
detect it. I cleared my throat, seeking to avoid the awkwardness
that always followed these kinds of moments, but Brandon
effortlessly defused all of that by opening my door and helping me
into the car.

"I'm sorry I wasn't around yesterday. Some
things came up that demanded my attention."

The music was lower than usual, a possible
sign he wanted to talk? "Did you manage to resolve them
successfully?"

Again that incredible smile, flashed across
his face. "They were touch and go for a little bit, but I'm most
pleased with how everything worked out."

I'd spent all of Monday in a daze, and felt
much the same now, only this time it was a daze of good fortune. It
hardly bothered me when Britney snubbed me during English. I flew
through my Algebra assignment, finishing up the one from yesterday
as well as the one Mrs. Campbell assigned, before the bell rang to
release us.

The only thing that even threatened my bubble
of happiness was when I walked into the lunchroom and saw that
Britney was sitting with the cheerleaders who'd come and sat at our
table yesterday.

It was blatantly obvious I wasn't welcome.
Unsure where to sit, I almost spun around and walked back into the
hall until Brandon caught my eye and waved me over.

I had to detour around the tangle of tables
that belonged to the closest thing Sanctuary had to real Goths. My
wandering path brought me around to where I could see what I'd
mentally dubbed 'Alec's corner'.

It was a good thing there was an empty chair
nearby. The force of Jasmin's stare was almost a palpable thing; my
knees got weak so quickly it was almost like she'd reached out and
pushed me. I steadied myself and then tried to ignore the way my
skin crawled as I crossed the rest of the distance to Brandon's
table.

"The mongrels unnerve you a bit?"

The scorn on the face that the comment
belonged to was unnerving. I'd seen him several times before, but
didn't have a name to go with his aristocratic features.

"That's enough, Vincent."

A trace of rebelliousness flared up at
Brandon's chastisement, but Vincent buried it so quickly I almost
didn't have enough time to classify it before it disappeared.
Interestingly enough, I could see Cassie out of the corner of my
eye, and she didn't look any happier than Vincent.

The rest of lunch flew by. I'd never realized
how much fun it could be to belong to a group. Things weren't
ideal; I'd never met a group with so many inside jokes. Half the
time I felt like there was an entire conversation being carried on
over my head, but sitting next to Brandon left me with such a
tingly feeling all along my right side that I didn't really
mind.

Not even the presence of a pop quiz in
History managed to faze me. Almost before I knew it I was sitting
down in Physics.

As usual, Alec slipped into class a half
second before the bell. I was so happy I forgot how arrogant he
was, and I smiled at him as he sat down. It was like he was looking
at something that wasn't even human. My insides seemed to freeze
and shrink, I couldn't even muster up my normal blush of
embarrassment. I'd had plenty of people hate me since I'd arrived
in Sanctuary, but he was the first person I'd met who I was
convinced wouldn't have thrown me a life preserver if I was
drowning. It wasn't even because saving me would be too much work.
He was somehow completely convinced the world would be a better
place without me.

I'd never been so unnerved in my life. As
Mrs. Alexander took roll and then released us into our groups, I
was still trying to pull myself back together. It didn't help when
I realized we were being evaluated today.

I fished out my notes and desperately tried
to remember how to calculate some of the stuff we'd need to know in
order to successfully get our weight up the ramp, over the
obstacles, and otherwise to the appropriate destination using the
minimum amount of pulleys, the shortest ramp, and the thinnest
string possible.

Alec hardly even looked up as Mrs. Alexander
came by with our particular spool of thread, an array of metric
weights, and a note card bearing the amount of weight we'd been
assigned to move around.

I was still leafing through my binder when
Alec started testing the strength of our, 'tow line.' I scooted my
desk over and picked up a weight to hand to him, only to see the
thread break as he successfully figured out the breaking point.

Again and again it happened. I ran
calculation for how many pulleys we'd need to lift our weight up
the thirty-degree incline on a string able to hold only a fourth as
much, only to look over at his paper and see not only had he
already arrived at the correct figure, he'd already thought to
adjust for starting friction.

Not used to being outclassed academically, I
got flustered, which led to a misplaced decimal, and then an
incorrect conversion from English to metric. Alec just continued
on, never seeming to really hurry, never actually making a mistake,
but still grinding through calculations with a speed I might have
been able to match on a good day, but couldn't even approach
today.

It would've been much easier to just stop my
efforts and watch him work, but I was too stubborn to give up.

Alec finished up with the theoretical portion
of the assignment, and started stringing the pulleys while most of
the other groups were still arguing over whether or not they could
afford to add a few extra grams for extra credit.

If there was a single person
in the class who 
didn't
 need any extra credit, it
was Alec; but he calmly loaded the system with an extra sixteen
grams, caught Mrs. Alexander's eye, and then smoothly started the
train of weights moving up the ramp, over the wall, through the
woods, and right up to Grandma's house.

It wasn't fair that someone who missed so
many days of school could be so consistently right. He must have an
IQ of 160. That and an ego big enough for someone twice as
smart.

Mrs. Alexander shuffled over and smiled at
the pair of us. "Sixteen grams. Most impressive you two. An entire
gram more than I would have ventured to risk myself, and done
before anyone else. I thought the pair of you would make a great
team."

The easiest thing would have been to stay
quiet and just let her believe I'd played an integral part of the
project, but I didn't like getting credit for something I hadn't
done. It was the worst kind of lying.

"Mrs. Alexander, I didn't actually do any of
it. I kept making mistakes."

She chuckled so hard, for a second I thought
the pencil behind her ear was going to fall out. "I rather suspect
you're understating your accomplishments my dear. Didn't contribute
indeed. As if Nora's favorite student would just sit around while
there were equations to solve."

I felt like I'd been hit in the stomach. I
hadn't realized just how fond of me Mrs. Campbell was. My mind
whirling with too many thoughts to sort out, I turned to go back to
my desk, only to find Alec staring at me. He still didn't seem
happy to be sharing the same room with me, but the complete disgust
from half an hour before had been replaced with something more
measuring.

In Spanish, Mrs. Tiggs seemed to take special
delight in telling us that she'd started grading our tests and a
couple of them weren't looking very good. I suffered through the
last hour of school and then hurried to my locker. I didn't really
want to meet up with Britney, but I also didn't want to alienate
her any more than I already had.

I shouldn't have even bothered. I waited
around for a full fifteen minutes before finally heading over to
the tutoring lab. Britney was watching the door when I arrived. She
didn't even bother trying to mask the flash of satisfaction that
crossed her face when I walked in late, obviously having spent the
last little while waiting for her.

I wanted to scream, or maybe cry. It was
amazing how quickly a perfect day could go down the tubes. I turned
towards my normal table, and Rachel caught my eye. Sitting in a
pool of light from one of the overhead skylights, she looked like
Britney's antithesis. Smiling, happy to see me, and obviously
already having forgiven me for my weirdness from the day before. I
smiled back and sat down; relieved the most important parts of my
social life had survived.

Britney might hate me. I might have lost the
cool factor resulting from all of the rumors about my imaginary
boyfriend having died in a car wreck, but Brandon still
miraculously wanted to spend time with me, and Rachel was still
shaping up to be the best friend any girl ever had.

It was too bad the two nicest people I'd ever
met hadn't been born in the same family. Of course, Rachel was so
inherently good, and Brandon was so reasonable about everything. If
I could somehow get the pair of them to spend some time together it
would probably go a long ways towards patching up the stupid feud
Alec seemed so determined to keep alive.

I thought about broaching the idea with
Rachel, but discarded the notion immediately. She would just clam
up, just like she always did whenever anything relating to her
brother was mentioned. I'd have to be sneaky to get the two of them
together.

Mrs. Campbell needed a little bit of
reassuring when she stopped by my desk, which I did happily now
that my personal universe was looking up once again, and then I dug
into my homework with near normal gusto.