Broken #4 (The Broken Series - Book #4) (9 page)

I
rushed out the door and saw her walking down the sidewalk. She was actually
planning on walking home alone on Thanksgiving. I could have just killed myself
at that moment. After all the time it took to get
her
to be mine, and now this had to happen. How could I have been so stupid?
To have allowed anything to upset Natalie this way?
She
didn't deserve things like this happening to her, especially after she went
through what she did with her ex.

It
killed me to see her walking away from me. I called out to her a few times,
yelling her name down the street, but she didn't even turn to look at me. She
just kept walking. I start running after her and grab her by the arm. I turned
her around and the look on her face should have turned me to stone.

“Natalie,
please let me explain.”

“Explain
what, Jet?”

I
sighed. “Natalie, it's not what you think at all. Please, I know what it looked
like, but it wasn't what you think.”

“Oh no?”

“She
kissed me, Natalie; I didn't kiss
her
.”

“Oh,
is that how it works? So because she made the first move, it doesn't count?”

“That's
not what I mean. It wasn't me doing anything. She made a move on me; it was out
of my control.”

“Don't
feed me bullshit, okay? She has been all over you every chance she’s had, and
you're telling me you had no idea that she was about to kiss you? I wasn't born
yesterday. I sure as hell know when someone is about to kiss me, so how is it
that you don't know? She was practically dry humping you at the bar―could
you possibly be more stupid?”

“Natalie,
it wasn't me. You act like we were making out in the hallway. You literally
walked in at the exact moment she just up and kissed me.”

“Yeah,
God knows what would have happened had I not walked in.”

“You
can't seriously mean that Natalie.”

“I
do. I'm sick of this crap with you. I've always felt like I wasn't enough, and
you just proved that to me. Why can't you just leave the other girls alone? Is
that really too much to ask?”

She
was revved up, and I could see that I wasn't going to get anywhere with her.
She was screaming at me at that
point,
and the more I
seemed to try to calm her down, the angrier she got.

“Baby,
please. I'm crazy about you, how can you not see that?”

“I
saw enough tonight, thank you very much,” she screamed at me.

It
was pointless trying to talk her out of anything, and I didn't think that there
was any point in continuing the conversation. She was so angry that she wasn't
willing to hear my side of things. I had majorly screwed up, and there was
nothing that I could do about it. I should have told Katie to go back to the
sitting room as soon as I saw her following me down the hall. But I didn't
think she would actually try to kiss me. Boy, had I been wrong. She had caused
a huge problem between Natalie and me, and I would like nothing more than to
strangle her at that moment.

If
things weren't already bad enough at that moment I turned to see Katie walking
up behind us. My mouth dropped open and I was quite literally speechless.

“Katie, what the hell?”

“Can
we talk?”

Natalie
turned to find her there, and yelled, “Ugh!” She stomped past us and headed
back to the house. At least she was going in the right direction, but I was
sure Katie had just done far more damage by coming out of the house.

I
turned from Natalie, and faced Katie, anger emanating from me. “What are you
doing out here? Do you really think Natalie wants to see you right now?”

“I
thought I could fix things, say something to her.”

“How
could you have kissed me?”

“I
thought you would like it.”

“Katie,
we have been over this a dozen times. We aren't hooking up. Don't you think we
would have by now? I have known you forever.
And
I have a girlfriend.”

“That
hasn't stopped you before.”

“This
time it's different. She's different, and you probably ruined that for me. What
kind of friend are you?”

“Look
Jet, I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't trying to hurt you. I've just had a crush on you
forever, and I just thought that we would make a pretty hot couple.”

“It's
never going to happen. I'm sorry, Katie. I think you're great and really
beautiful, but you're not for me. I'm with Natalie; she’s who I want. She’s who
I've always wanted.”

She
looked heartbroken, but that wasn't my problem. My problem was sitting in the
house with my family, and I hoped to God I could fix that.

“I'm
sorry, Jet. I really am.”

“Just
fix it, Katie. Make it right. I want her to know that I didn't kiss you, that I
would never kiss you. That it was you who kissed me, and that we weren’t making
out or anything.”

She
just nodded, and I walked away from her to go find Natalie. When I get back
into the house I found her in the sitting room with my family. I walked up to
her and smiled. She took one look at me, dismissed me silently, and went on
talking to my family. I couldn't exactly talk to her about my problem with my
family right there, and she wouldn't go anywhere with me. I had ruined my own
girlfriend's Thanksgiving.

“Is
everything okay? Can we talk?”

“No
shot. Now leave me alone for the rest of the night.”

I
turned away from her and saw Katie come in from outside. She went over to my
sister and they chatted amongst themselves. It couldn't possibly be more
awkward at that moment. I had no way to fix it and I had to accept the fact
that the evening was ruined and try to mend things with Natalie another day.

We
spent the whole night apart, but my family was none the wiser. Natalie put on a
good show, even though she did avoid me like the plague. I wanted to kiss her
or hold her hand, but I worried that if I tried to do anything like that, she
would explode in front of everyone. Again, things would have to wait for
another time.

We
spent the night in the sitting room, chatting amongst everyone and playing a
few family games. My mother offered for Natalie to stay the night, but she
declined. She walked up to me with her purse and coat in hand.

“I
would like to go home now.”

“Are
you sure? I thought we were going to stay for a few days. Go sightseeing.”

“I
have no interest in that. I just want to go home and be alone. It was a mistake
coming here. Can you please just take me home?”

I
smiled at her sadly. “Yes, sweetheart, I'll take you home.”

We
said our goodbyes to everyone, and headed out the door. I walked with her to
the car, and she didn't say a thing to me. I drove her back to her apartment
and through the entire 45-minute drive, she didn't say a word. Neither did
I
. I just didn't have anything more to say, and I thought
that she needed a break from me.

I
pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment and turned off the car. I was
hoping she was going to invite me up, but that wasn't going to happen.

“Goodnight,
Natalie.” I smiled as I grabbed her hand before she went out the door. She
paused before getting out, and rolled her eyes. She pulled away from me then
and got out of the car without saying another word to me.

Chapter
Nine

Natalie

 
I could barely concentrate on photography
class that day. We had another opportunity to go into the darkroom, and
normally I would have been stoked, but I barely even smiled that whole day.
Brenda had finally asked me what the hell was wrong with me, and I had just
shrugged. The last thing that I wanted to discuss with anyone was my
boyfriend’s infidelity.
If you even wanted to call it that.
I was aware that he hadn't full on cheated on me, but I definitely felt like he
encouraged Katie's affections and flirted with her, which caused her to
eventually kiss him, and that was bad enough.

It
was easily the worst Thanksgiving I had ever had, and I wished that I had just
declined the invitation. It was obvious that Jet and I weren't meant to be
together, and I wished even more that I hadn't agreed to go out with him. He
had turned out to be a far greater disappointment as a boyfriend than I had
ever imagined.

I
didn't want to even think about that day, but it was hard to get that image out
of my head. I hated seeing him even flirting with Katie. Training had almost
killed me, so seeing her actually put her lips on him was just too much to
bear. If I could forget it and forgive him, I still don't think I would ever be
able to get the image out of my head, so how was I supposed to move on with
him? He had turned out to be just like Tom, and it had broken my heart.

I
wasn't stupid. I knew he wasn't making out with Katie, but it didn't matter.
She had touched him and he had allowed it. Not only that, but her affections
had always been encouraged by him during training and God knows where else, so
it was inevitable for her to have kissed him. He put himself in that position,
and I wasn't about to forgive him about it.

It
had been three days since that dinner, and we had not spoken once. It hurt, but
I refused to talk to him about it. I knew I would have to eventually, but I
wasn't ready. He had been texting me nonstop, and calling at all hours. He had
even messaged Julie to try to get her to convince me to talk to him. She had
put in her best effort, too, because she really had wanted us to talk, to work
things out. She and I had even tussled about it, but I didn't think it was any
of her business, and I wasn't going to be forced to do it. I wasn't ready to
talk to Jet, and I couldn’t care less about how heartbroken he was over the
whole thing. He had broken my heart, and I didn't particularly like him at that
moment. He would just have to wait until I felt ready to deal with him.

What
did I want? I had no idea. I thought I had wanted Jet, but we had been together
at that point for about four seconds, and it was too soon for us to be having
any kind of problems. We should have been living in bliss. The first year of a
new relationship was always the honeymoon stage, and already we were having
problems. They weren’t little problems, either. I should not have had to deal
with another woman so soon into our relationship. It wasn't right, and I felt
sick about the fact that it was there.

It
hit too close to home from me. The fact that Tom had cheated on me; the thing
he had done for so long. I had spent years with Tom, and still he had betrayed
me. That's why this bothered me so much. I didn't think I could deal with
another relationship where I couldn't trust the guy I was with. How could I be
with Jet after what had happened? Katie would always be around, because she was
one of his teammates, and apparently part of his family. So if we stayed
together she would always be around, I would have to deal with that girl
forever. Screw that; I didn't have to do anything. I deserved better and I
wanted to be with a guy who understood that.

I
was intensely insecure; I knew that. I knew that my feelings had a lot to do
with the fact that she was so beautiful and so fit, and everyone on the team
loved her. Even Jet's own roommate had wanted Katie and Jet to get together. So
how was that supposed to make me feel? Fucked up, that's what. I felt fucked
up. That one kiss had brought
out every insecurity
that I had, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Someone whom I had deemed
better suited for Jet had kissed him. He hadn't pushed her off. He hadn't done
anything, and it had made me feel like shit.

I
was better off with someone more like me―not the most popular guy on
campus, because when it came right down to it, there would always be hot girls
after Jet.
Always.
He was a handsome guy, my guy ...
or so I thought. But I would have to always deal with situations where other
girls were trying to get a piece of him or try to steal him away, and I didn't
think I could handle it.

Class
ended, and I couldn't remember one thing that the professor had talked about
during the whole class.

“Hey,
do you want to go grab a coffee and talk about things?” Brenda asked.

“No,
I don't. In fact, I have to go home and work on my creative writing project.
I'm starting to get behind and I don't want to.”

“Natalie,
you really don't seem like yourself. I think it would be good for you to talk
about things. I know you're upset about Jet, but talking about it can really
help.”

“I
understand, and I do thank you for your concern, but right now I don't want to
think about Jet at all. I have stuff to do, and right now Jet is just getting
in the way of that.”

“Well,
if you change your
mind just give
me a call, okay? You
know where to find me.”

I
smiled. “Thanks Brenda, I really do appreciate it. I just can't deal with it
right now.”

I
walked out of class and walked back to my apartment. When I arrived, I could
hear the shower running and knew that Julie was home from class as well.