Broken (7 page)

Ussay’s words were so soft, so hushed, Kira barely heard them. But she knew their meaning. “She’s dead, isn’t she?”

Ussay nodded. “I am sorry. I know you were good friends.”

Pain shot through Kira’s heart like someone held it in their clenched fist. She pressed her fingers against the spot on her chest, feeling both relief and fear.
Altaria’s still with me.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered that day in the canyon—before her torture had begun, before everything had changed. The moment when Lydia thrust her kindred spirit, Altaria, into Kira’s body—hoping to save Kira from the beast Al had become after catching the scent of Kira’s blood. But now Al was trapped inside of her—without voice, without any way to communicate—neither Altaria nor Kira were truly free.

Ussay put her hand on Kira’s shoulder. “Shall I wake him?”

Kira shrugged out from under Ussay’s grasp and turned away. “No. I wanna be alone.”

Ussay stepped away from the bed and curtsied. “Yes, my lady. I will wait outside the door until you need me.”

Kira didn’t want to cry—she’d done enough of that while being held captive—but the tears continued to flow freely, despite her efforts to stop them. For several minutes she silently sobbed into her pillow, hoping and praying she’d misunderstood Ussay’s words. When the tears finally slowed, she felt numb and drained of all her energy. She knew some of the sorrow she felt belonged to Altaria, which made it worse.

She wiped the moisture from her face and adjusted her position so she could get a better view of Octavion. She hadn’t noticed before, but the knuckles on his right hand were scabbed.
Now what have you done?
The very idea of him getting hurt and her not having the power to heal him weighed heavy on her mind. With Lydia gone, Kira would miss the powers of the Crystor. She’d miss all of it—the strength, the healing, the enhanced senses—but especially her friend. She wondered if Lydia suffered a painful death, which only brought more tears.

Octavion moaned and rubbed his neck, but didn’t wake.

Kira closed her eyes, hoping he’d stay asleep, but then she heard the chair scoot across the floor and the shuffle of his boots. She looked up to find him standing in front of the window, staring out—his profile drawn and weary.

Kira swallowed the lump in her throat. “Is it as beautiful as you remembered?”

Octavion’s head jerked toward her and their eyes met. “Kira?” A million emotions washed over his face as he flew to her side and pulled her into his arms. His chest rose and fell like his heart would explode. This was the moment she longed for, to be held in his arms and feel him all around her. She buried her head against his chest and breathed him in. Oh, how she missed him.

Octavion adjusted his hold on her, brushing the wounds on her back with his hand. She tensed, sucking in a gasp of air as the pain hit.

He dropped his arms and scooted away. “Oh, Kira, I am so sorry. Did I . . . have you been crying?”

Kira’s bottom lip quivered. “Yeah.”

“You do not need to be afraid. You are safe here.” He wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

“No, that’s not it. It’s Ussay. She told me . . . I mean she didn’t tell me, but then she couldn’t and . . . Lydia’s dead, isn’t she?”

His painful expression said it all. She was right. She threw herself back into his arms and he pulled her close again, this time holding her gently.

“I’m sorry,” Kira sobbed. “I should have been here for her. I would have healed her and . . .” The throbbing in her chest returned and she realized she had to keep Altaria a secret. If they were to have any kind of life together, he couldn’t know a part of his sister lived inside her. He wouldn’t so much as kiss her if he knew Al watched it all, seeing and feeling everything.

“Kira, there are things . . . I cannot explain.” He paused for a moment. “Please do not blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. I am the one to blame. I should have known Shandira would pull something like that. I should have made sure you were both safe before stepping through the portal.”

He didn’t say anything else, but the quiver of his breath as he exhaled expressed both his grief for his sister and his relief that Kira was finally awake. When he released her, he put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. “I have never . . . been so afraid in my life. How will you ever forgive me for leaving you behind?”

“You didn’t leave me—and there’s nothing to forgive.” She put her hands on his. “I’m okay.”

He swallowed hard. “But I should have protected you. What kind of a man leaves the woman he loves?”

“The kind that keeps his word. You gave an oath to your sister and you kept it. You brought her home.” She lowered his hands away from her face and held them between hers. “She got to see her father, didn't she?”

“Yes.” He leaned in and gently kissed her lips—right as Ussay came through the door.

“Oh,” she said, her face a shade or two redder than before. “Um . . . I can come back.” Then she turned her back to them.

“Come here,” Octavion motioned to Ussay. “I understand you two have already met.”

Ussay slowly turned, her smile replaced with a guilt stricken expression. “Yes. Please forgive me for not waking you.” She held a small tray of food balanced on one hand, more linens on the other.

Octavion turned to face Kira. “How long have you been awake?”

She smiled. “A while.”

He looked at Ussay who had abandoned the linens on the dresser and now stood next to him. “I am not angry about that, but would have preferred she learn of my sister from me.”

Ussay lowered her eyes. “I am sorry, Sire.”

Kira squeezed his hand. “Octavion. I told her not to wake you. And it wasn't what she told me about Lydia, but what she didn't say. Please don't be angry with her.”

He growled.

Kira had waited so long to hear that familiar rumbling in his chest that it took her by complete surprise. She snorted. “You growled at me.”

He raised a brow and grinned, but his beard hid his dimples. “I thought you hated that.” The brush of his hand against her cheek caused Kira to gasp.

When she put her hand up to her face and ran her finger along the jagged scar, more tears came to the surface. Kira had forgotten about the cut Shandira gave her. She felt as though she were on an emotional roller coaster. Up one minute and down the next.

Octavion sighed. “Kira, it is not that bad. Gregor did a fine job with the stitching and the scar will fade.” He took her hands in his. “I would have given my life to save you from this pain.” His voice was deep and full of emotion.

“I guess I knew that.” She took her hands back and wiped her tears.

“What do you mean?”

“If I let Shandira through the portal, you could have been killed. I couldn't risk it.”

He gently pulled her chin up until their eyes met. Tiny threads of yellow invaded his. “You mean you could have stepped through to the other side?”

She nodded. “I thought you saw what happened. Shandira drew her dagger and as she brushed past Lydia to step through the portal, she caught her in the side. I couldn’t reach Lydia, so I grabbed Shandira by the hair and pulled her back into the cave. I don't think I really thought about it, I just knew I couldn't let her get all the way through that portal.”

“But you could have pushed her through and I could have helped you.”

Kira lowered her eyes and began fiddling with the Crystor. “I saw your face.” She looked up to meet his eyes again. “You were a little distracted with the scent of my blood.”

The muscles in his jaw clenched. He stood and went to the window. His shoulders rose and fell with each labored breath as he pulled his fingers into clenched fists. But he didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Kira knew he blamed himself for not being in control of his cravings and for not protecting her—that he thought he’d been weak.

Ussay still stood a few feet away, holding the tray. She watched as he stood there, saying nothing. Then she looked at Kira. “Shall I take this back to the kitchen, my lady?”

“No, bring it here,” Kira said.

Octavion spun around and took the tray out of Ussay’s hands. “I will get that.” He returned to sit beside Kira and put the tray on the bed between them. She only caught a glimpse of his eyes before he looked away, but the fire she saw burning within their depths was unmistakable. She knew that look—she’d seen it every time he struggled to gain control of his hunger.

“Ussay, could you give us a minute, please?” Kira asked.

“Oh, yes, my lady. I will be close if you need me.” She curtsied and left the room.

“Octavion?”

He’d been going through the arrangement of fruit on the tray, breaking several of the larger sections into bite-sized pieces. But when she said his name, he paused and slowly raised his eyes to meet hers.

“When was the last time you fed?”

“I am fine.”

“When? I want to know. Please.”

He hesitated for a moment and then looked down, fiddling with the food again. “I hunted the night I brought you here.”

Kira put her hands on his. “Stop doing that and look at me.”

His head shot up. “Kira, I am fine,” he snapped. His eyes were on fire now, not even a shred of blue invaded his lion eyes.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m not eating until you hunt.” She pushed the tray away. “Besides, I’m getting tired and I need to rest. Maybe you should go.”

“I am not the one who has been lying in bed for over a week. And I am
not
leaving.” He took a hunk of cheese and broke off a piece. He held it to her lips. “Now eat, please.”

Kira pressed her lips together, folded her arms in front of her chest and shook her head.

“Kira.” He growled again. “I will force feed you if I have to.”

“You wouldn’t dare . . .” He stuck the piece of cheese in her mouth between words, but she spit it out. “I’m not eating until you promise you’ll hunt
tonight.
”

“You are stubborn.” He huffed out the air in his lungs.

She didn't respond, just held her ground by clamping her mouth shut.

The corner of Octavion's lips curled into a grin and she wished she could see those dimples she loved so much.

“All right, you win. If you eat, I will hunt.”

“Tonight?” she asked.

“Yes, tonight.” He broke off another piece of cheese and held it up for her to take. She opened her mouth like a little bird and he placed it inside. With each bite she took, she made him take one as well. Her stomach ached and it took only a very few bites before she felt full.

Kira yawned.

Octavion looked toward the window. “It will be dark soon. You won’t be able to see much, but . . . would you like to sit by the window for a moment?”

Kira yawned again, and then nodded.

He called Ussay to retrieve the tray and pulled back the covers. Kira put her arms around his neck so he wouldn’t have to touch her back while he lifted under her legs. He stepped to the chair, but instead of putting her down, he sat and lowered her across his lap. She leaned against his shoulder and looked out across Xantara.

The sun had already set on the distant horizon, but burnished rays lit the rooftops of the homes lining the cobblestone streets in the village. Lanterns glowed in many of the windows which gave a homey glow to the entire scene. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. The sweet fragrance of flowers drifted up from the gardens below.

In the sky, the first star shone to one side of a sliver of a moon at least two times larger than Earth’s moon. To the other side was another, much smaller than the first. Their reflections shimmered in the calm waters of the lake that stretched out to the right of the village.

“I forgot you have two moons.”

“Yes. It is why our cravings are so much stronger here.”

“How long before they are new?” she asked, judging by their size, it wouldn’t be long.

He sighed. “Three nights.”

She tried not to think about what that meant for her as she snuggled deeper into his warm embrace. The only image she wanted in her mind was of him, even if he did look a bit disheveled.

Kira felt something brush against her cheek. In her dream she saw Nigel kneeling near her shelter in the clearing. Even though she knew in her heart he wouldn’t hurt her, she still jerked awake and put her arms up for protection.

“Don’t!” she screamed.

It took a few seconds for her to realize where she was. Octavion sat on the edge of her bed—both hands in the air as if in surrender. At first he didn’t say anything, then lowered his hands. “I am sorry. I did not mean to frighten you.”

She let the tension in her muscles melt away as she took in a breath. “It’s okay.” She rubbed her eyes and pulled at her covers. “I can’t get them . . . out of my head. Maybe you should let me wake on my own for awhile.” She looked around the room. The light didn’t seem to be as bright as the day before and she smelled rain. “What time is it?”

He smirked. “Sorry, I left my watch in my blue jeans.”

“Very funny.”

“It is a little after mid day,” he said.