Broken (34 page)

“Jesus! You’re as bad as her parents. I know she did this. I just know it!”

“Then find evidence,” Jay said as he crossed his arms over his chest and jutted out his chin. “In an appropriate fashion.”

“Jay, come on. You know as well as I do that sometimes the evidence is just not there! But it doesn’t mean she didn’t do it!” Berg was almost in tears she was so frustrated.

“Calm down,” Jay said. “You need to step away from this case. You don’t look well. Why don’t you take the weekend off?” He looked back down at his work.

She needed to tell him and he needed to know. Carla wasn’t hovering over him for the first time in days.

Now’s the time.

“Jay . . .” It didn’t even register that she’d placed her hand over her belly as she looked into Jay’s cobalt blue eyes and wondered if the baby would have them. There was a good chance, as her mother’s were also blue. Berg’s brown eyes had been courtesy of her biological father—the first and last thing he’d ever given her. “I need to tell—”

“Darling!” Carla said, breezing into the office in a cloud of expensive perfume. She kissed Jay and turned to Berg. “Detective Raymond,” she said politely.

“ASA Maroney,” Berg replied, equally polite. She stood—the moment was over.

“Wait,” Jay said as she was leaving. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” Berg sighed.

“It’s just . . . I saw you get sick again this morning.”

Berg looked at Carla, firmly planted at Jay’s side and refusing to give them even two minutes alone. “Thanks for asking, but I’m fine. It must be a twenty-four hour-bug or something.”

“Okay,” Jay said and Berg left.

Jay sighed. He suspected he knew what was up with Berg, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself, let alone to her.

Before Renee had sunk into addiction, she and Jay had been actively trying for the family they so desperately wanted. Every month it had been the same—Renee asking him if her breasts looked bigger or her nipples darker. Renee getting her hopes up every time she ate some bad shellfish and threw up, and then the crushing lows and alcoholic binges that followed the negative pregnancy tests. Jay recognized the early signs all too well.

He thought back to the day Arena and Berg had both arrived at the office with fresh bruises, and he hoped he was wrong, for Berg’s sake more than anything. In the back of his mind, he hoped he was wrong for another reason as well. A baby would tie her to Arena forever.

Jay knew she liked it rough. She hadn’t flinched away from him at all the night they’d been together and he’d been none too gentle in his fervor. Then there was the night he and Cindy had found Berg at that sex club, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey with not one, but two, men working her over. The memory of it almost made him sick. If there was anyone who would happily cater to Berg’s more self-destructive tendencies, it was Arena.

And now, with a baby . . .

“Um, hello?” Carla said, waving her hand in front of his face.

“Sorry?” Jay asked, unaware she’d been speaking to him. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying that we’d better go if we’re going to make our reservation,” she repeated, frowning. “And I’m sure you wanted to make mention of how fantastic I look tonight?”

Jay looked at Carla in her short black dress, sky-high pumps, and a single diamond on a thin chain at her throat. She looked a million bucks and he said so.

“Let’s go, milady,” he said, smiling, pushing Berg out of his mind—she wasn’t his problem. For a second, he almost believed it, too.

Carla linked her arm in his as they strode out together.

Chapter Thirty-One

So give me something to believe.

’Cause I am living just to breathe.

And I need something more,

to keep on breathing for.

–The Bravery, “Believe”

“M
orning,” Arena called as Berg walked into the room with a coffee for both of them. “Thanks.” He took a sip of the hot liquid and nodded toward Berg’s own cup. “You must be feeling better.” She hadn’t been able to stomach it recently.

“Yeah, I think the morning sickness is finally lifting,” she said quietly enough that they weren’t overheard.

Arena’s cell rang again. He glanced at the screen and rejected the call.

Berg noticed with interest it was the same number he had been dodging for weeks.

His desk phone rang a few seconds later. He picked it up and slammed it back down, cracking the old plastic handset.

“That might’ve been important,” Berg said, pointing at the desk phone.

“It’s not. Anyway . . .” He leaned back in his chair and none too subtly changed the subject. “No luck with Elizabeth’s new IP address and
Realm of Blood
,” he said, clearly disappointed.

Berg nodded. “What about forums?”

They knew Elizabeth had never called Buchanan—hers and Buchanan’s cell phone records had been clear—and there had been no e-mails from anyone regarding the killing of Emma on Buchanan’s computer when they’d had it searched months ago. In-game communication was the only option they had left.

“Chats don’t go through their server, meaning they don’t keep a record of them. They may have a record of actual posts, but again, it means a warrant to get them. Plus, they have a feature where you have fifteen minutes to delete a post before it’s saved. What do you wanna bet that Elizabeth took advantage of that?”

“Maybe other players may have seen some kind of communication between them, like the Swedish case?”

Arena nodded. “I’m playing at the moment, trying to find someone who played with Buchanan. Thanks to his computer, we do know what his avatar was and the levels he played, but I’m not having any luck. His avatar’s no longer active so—”

“Can we reactivate it? You could play as him, maybe go undercover?”

Arena sighed. “I’ll try and get
Realm of Blood
to reactivate his account. I must admit, I’m getting pretty good at it now. It’s almost fun.”

Berg snorted. “And your descent into nerddom is complete!”

Jay and Carla chose that moment to walk into the office.

Hand in hand as usual. At this rate, he’ll find out about his baby on its twenty-first birthday
.

Jay walked toward his office, and Berg noticed how preoccupied he looked. She couldn’t help wondering if he’d found out anything else about Consiglio’s plan.

Instead of following him like an obedient puppy, Carla stopped in the main room. “Excuse me!” she called out.

Even with the early hour, the level of noise was just this side of a dull roar as everyone had numerous cases to follow up and close.

“Excuse me!” Carla said again, raising her voice.

Eventually, the station fell as silent as it ever would.

“We have news,” Carla said, motioning Jay over to her side.

Jay, who had stopped dead at the door of his office, looked a little dumbstruck. He flicked a glance at Berg, but at Carla’s insistence, he wandered over to her, his head hanging.

Berg saw the look on his face and felt dread right down to the tip of her toes.

Barely waiting for him to reach her side, Carla wrapped around his arm. “We’re engaged!” She looked delighted as she pulled Jay’s hand from where he’d stuffed it in his pocket and tugged him close.

A short, stunned silence was followed by hesitant applauding and a few halfhearted cheers.

Berg didn’t join in, knowing if she moved a muscle, she would completely break down.

Jay peered at Berg’s shocked face again before shaking the outstretched hand of a coworker. She noticed a few of her fellow detectives—Cheney, Rodriguez and Smith in particular—also glancing her way as they tried to gauge her reaction to the unexpected news.

Berg carefully arranged her features into a neutral expression, all too aware of the scrutiny and too proud to let them witness her anguish.

Carla, of course, looked delighted and hugged Jay closer. “Thank you,” she called. “We are very happy,” she said, turning to look at Berg before pulling Jay into his office.

Berg felt Arena move closer and grab her hand.

“You okay?” he mumbled.

Berg gritted her teeth to keep from crying and nodded, pathetically grateful that he even cared.

Jay slammed the door behind them. “Why did you do that? I thought we’d agreed to keep the news to ourselves for now!”

Actually, I didn’t agree to anything!

One minute they’d been enjoying an expensive dinner on the fortieth floor of the Chicago Stock Exchange and discussing their separate plans for the future as they had enjoyed a view of the cityscape, and the next, Carla had brought up marriage.

Assuming she was speaking about marriage in general, he’d admitted that marriage was important to him, as were children. Next thing he knew, Carla had decided they were engaged. He was still bewildered about what exactly had happened.

“They were all going to find out eventually,” Carla replied. “I thought it would be better coming from the horses’ mouths.”

“Bullshit,” he retorted. “That was nothing but a public ‘fuck you’ to Berg!”

Carla stepped back, folded her arms, and looked him up and down as if he suddenly smelled bad. “Why do you care? And why should she? You said she had moved on to her muscle-bound partner anyway, so what does it matter?”

“It matters to me,” he said, jamming his thumb into his chest to punctuate his point.

He glanced out at Berg’s desk. Arena had moved closer and was holding Berg’s hand. He looked like he was saying something, but Jay couldn’t make out what it was. Berg hadn’t moved since Carla had unceremoniously announced their apparent engagement. Jay hoped she and the baby were okay.

“That was just plain cruel!”

“No crueler than finding out from someone else, or in
The
Trib
,” she said. “I just ripped off the Band-Aid. At least one of us had the balls.”

Jay’s voice shook as he struggled to maintain control. “You need to go. I’ve got work to do, and I can’t look at you right now.”

It wasn’t what he wanted to say. He wanted to say that their engagement was nothing but a farce, and their relationship was over. He wanted to say that she had been a pleasant distraction for a while, but now . . .

She’s right. I don’t have the nuts.

“Fine.” She sighed. “I’ll call you later about the dinner on Saturday night so our families can meet. I’m thinking somewhere in Little Italy? And you need to organize a free weekend so you can move into my place. And of course, I’ll need a ring.” She kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the office, her head held high.

Jay swore and put his head in his hands. Things were getting beyond his control, professionally and personally, and he needed to do something about it—quick.

He looked up and noticed Berg was no longer at her desk. He motioned for Arena to come in.

“Is she okay?” he asked Arena softly as he sauntered in.

“That was pretty low, even for you,” Arena said through a clenched jaw. “Berg did nothing to deserve that.”