Broken (9 page)

Anna Mae was ready to snap back at Laura when Tom Nelson and Jake Tambellini emerged from the crowd. Tom was Laura’s latest crush. Tall and arrogant, the first string quarterback for Warrenvale high was the only member of the team that wore his blue and gold football jersey to the picnic.

Next to Tom, short, hefty and wearing a plain white T-shirt, Jake’s quiet and thoughtful demeanor contradicted the power he put into a tackle. Debbie adored him.

Anna Mae tried to hide her disappointment. Angelo Tamero, her hero running-back, wasn’t with them. However, Jake caught her unspoken question and explained, “Angelo went somewhere. He just up and took off. He told us to wait for him,” he glanced critically at Tom, “but big shot here couldn’t be bothered.”  

“I think he wanted to ride the merry-go-round,” Tom snickered. “At least he was heading that direction. He’ll eventually find us.”

Jake put his arm around Debbie. “You girls going on The Racer?”

Laura snuggled up to Tom. “Yes, we are.”

They all looked at Anna Mae. “I’m okay,” she said. “You go ahead. I’ll wait here for Davie.”

Laura pointed to Anna Mae. “She’s afraid to go on The Racer.”

“I am not!”

With her freckled nose in the air, Laura led Tom to the ticket line where she stood smugly beside him. Debbie and Jake lingered behind, but Anna Mae said, “Go on the ride. I’ll be fine.”

Two minutes later Anna Mae watched her friends walk up to the boarding platform and step into the coasters—Laura and Tom in one, Debbie and Jake in the other. As the racing cars began their slow crawl up the first incline, Anna Mae fought the familiar feeling of being left out. When the cars were out of sight, she walked toward the boat pond, where an elderly couple guided their small green craft through a scatter of floating popcorn.

I should have never given Davie his own riding tickets. Now what do I do? Should I stay here? Or go looking for him?

A blast of screams startled her, and she looked up at the racers now plunging downward behind the trees.
Thank God I didn’t ride that thing!

Again, she searched the small faces in the crowd.
Maybe Laura was right. Maybe Davie was old enough to take care of himself.
Calming herself with a few deep breaths, she sat down on the bench beside the boat pond.

*     *     *

Although he had asked them to wait, Angelo Tamero watched his buddies walk away. No big deal. He could catch up with them later. He was sure it was David he saw on the merry-go-round. And if David was on the merry-go-round, Anna Mae would be nearby.

The next time the carousel horses circled around, Angelo waved wildly to get David’s attention. But David was too busy checking out the horse next to his that was bucking up and down. Finally, the ride stopped, and David scampered onto the bucking horse. Angelo leaped over the railing and mounted the stationary horse that David had been riding.

David laughed and wiggled on the saddle. “Hi, Angelo!”

“Hey, Davie! Race ya!”

“You can’t race, silly. But I can go higher than you. Your horse can’t go up and down.”

A man with a huge white mustache and a green uniform walked between the riders collecting tickets. Angelo handed him one ticket for himself and another for David. The horses were again on the move. Angelo grinned.
How great to be a kid at Kennywood!

As the horses circled, Angelo searched the spectators for Anna Mae. Was she still avoiding him? A month ago, he had taken her to see her favorite actress, Barbra Streisand, in Funny Girl. When they were leaving the theater, Anna Mae’s Uncle Walter pulled his car to the curb and told her to get in. Anna Mae had looked a little nervous. When Angelo attempted to say something to Walter, he just rolled up his window, leaving Angelo standing in the bright light of the marquee. He feared Anna Mae didn’t have her uncle’s permission to go to the movie and hoped she wasn’t in trouble.

The morning after the movie, Angelo had waited at the front of the school, hoping to see her. But she must have used another door. From that day on, each time Angelo spotted her, she would manage to disappear. It had been a month now since she talked to him. He wasn’t going to let her get away this time.

Angelo, his head nodding up and down to follow the movement of David’s bucking horse, yelled, “Where’s Anna Mae?”

David shrugged his shoulders and looked very guilty.

“Is she here? With you?”

David shook his head.

“Well, where is she?”

David pointed down the main walkway and yelled, “She’s with her girlfriends.”

Angelo smiled to himself. He’d find her.

On a small island in the middle of the boat pond, multicolored lights filtered through columns of water that shot forty feet into the air. A gust of cold mist enveloped Anna Mae and she shivered from the chill—or was it anxiety? Eventually, after what seemed like a long wait, her friends returned, arguing and laughing about who had won the neck and neck race.

She smiled up at the happy couples who were having such a good time. But when she turned her head to look down the pathway for David, her heart skipped a beat. Stanley and his Road Hog friends were walking straight towards her. She jumped to her feet, saying loudly, “Let’s go!”

“Damn!” said Tom, “You look like you saw a ghost.”

Anna Mae rushed up the path toward the park entrance.

“You’re going the wrong way,” shouted Laura.

Anna Mae walked faster.

The others hurried up behind her, circling around to block her path. “Did you see David?” Debbie asked.

“No,” she said, breathing hard. Then, before she even turned around, she felt Stanley’s presence.

“Well, well! What have we here?” In his high black boots, tight jeans, and soiled T-shirt with a pack of Luckies rolled into the sleeve, Stanley stood in front of his motorcycle buddies. He greeted her with a grin that bordered on a sneer.

Pete Maleski held his cycle helmet in his right hand and placed the other on Stanley’s shoulder. Behind Pete, Spike O’Donald stood with his greasy hands on his hips, his black leather jacket open to display a white skull and crossbones on a black pullover. Since JD had disappeared into Vietnam, and George Siminoski dropped off the face of the earth, Stanley had hooked up with the local motorcycle gang, the Road Hogs. And he was meaner than ever.

“Where’s my little brother?” Stanley asked.

Anna Mae’s stomach turned over. She couldn’t speak. The teenagers rallied around her and Debbie blurted out, “He’s on the Rocket Ride!”

Stanley thought for a moment, his drug dilated pupils aimed in Debbie’s direction. “Oh, really? By himself?”

Debbie took a step back. “Well, ah...”

The accusation was clear in Stanley’s voice. “They just let him on? Little as he is? They let him ride all by himself?”

Anna Mae’s fear mounted. What would Stanley do if he knew she had lost track of David? Laura stepped forward and said to Stanley, “Get lost, creep. We’re here to have a good time. Go bother someone else.”

Tom pulled Laura back. Jake, who was Stanley’s height but more powerfully built, moved forward to challenge Stanley nose to nose. “You heard what she said. Get lost!”

“As soon as I know where...”

“Annie!”

Anna Mae’s body went limp with relief as Angelo and David stepped out of the crowd. David’s face was a mixture of excitement and guilt.

Stanley stepped around Jake and smiled down at David. “How was the Rocket Ride? They let you on all by yourself? A little shit like you?”

David caught the look in Anna Mae’s eyes. He shot up on his tiptoes and stretched his neck, adding at least two inches to his height. “Sure! I’m not a baby, ya know!”

Angelo placed his hand on David’s shoulder. “He was with me. You got a problem with that?”

Stanley turned to Anna Mae; “I wonder what my father will say about you hanging out with the Dago?”

In deference to his Italian friend, Jake’s face turned red and his jaw clenched. “And who’s gonna tell him?”

Stanley grinned broadly.

“You wouldn’t dare!” said Debbie.

“Well now,” Stanley sneered. “Who’s gonna stop me?”

Pete shifted his helmet to his left hand and pulled Stanley away with his right. “Com’ on Stan,” he said. “That’s the speed talkin.’ Don’t make trouble for the kids.” He then gave Anna Mae a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry, Honey,” Spike added with a wink, “We’ll kick his ass if he tells.”

Stanley poked a finger at the white crossbones on Spike’s black shirt. “You ain’t bad enough to kick my ass.”

Spike began to take off his leather jacket, but Stanley just spit on the ground and walked away. The teenagers breathed easier as they watched the Road Hogs walk toward the center of the park. When they were finally out of sight, Anna Mae swooped down and hugged David, who squealed, “Let go! You’re squashing me!”

She looked up at Angelo. “Where did you find him?”

“He was on the merry-go-round. I didn’t see you anywhere so we came looking for you.”

Debbie frowned. “Do you think Stanley will tell?”

Anna Mae let go of David and stood up very straight. “I don’t care if he does. Let him tell Walter. Today I’m going to have fun.”

At Angelo’s suggestion, they all walked to the picnic area where his family had a table. Angelo’s mother, Maria, was a tiny woman in a flowered apron with black braids wrapped into a bun. She smiled warmly at the teenagers then continued laying out a feast. Angelo’s father was a few yards away, playing catch with four boys David’s age.

“Hey, Dad!” Angelo called out. “Do ya mind if Anna Mae’s little brother hangs out with you?”

“Come on, David,” bellowed Salvador Tamero. “We’re gonna take this park by storm.”

Anna Mae wasn’t sure if she should let David go. Being with Angelo was bad enough. Now she had put David under the senior Tamero’s supervision. Walter would go ballistic if he found out. But seeing the eager look on David’s face, she got up her courage and told him it was okay. She was not going to let Stanley ruin her day, or David’s either.

With David now in safe keeping, the couples walked back to the amusement area. As a group, they rode the Ferris Wheel, the Swan Ride, the Bumper Cars, and the Silver Plane that raised high into the air and flew around in circles. Then Laura decided they should all go on the Spinner.

Anna Mae looked up at the huge whirling cylinder where riders stood with their backs to a circular wall that spun faster and faster, building enough centrifugal force to stick the riders to the wall. Then the bottom dropped out!

Anna Mae clutched Angelo’s arm so hard that her fingernails almost broke the skin. “I can’t do that, Angelo. Please don’t make me ride that thing.”

Laura put her freckled nose in the air. “You have to get over being afraid, Anna Mae. It’s part of growing up!”

Anna Mae was ready to snap back at Laura when Angelo dragged her away. As the rest of the group joined the Spinner ticket line, Angelo and Anna Mae headed for the arcade. Soon they were laughing, popping balloons with little darts, and shooting long rifles at hopping tin bunnies. When they left the arcade, Anna Mae proudly held a yellow helium balloon in one hand, and a big white Teddy Bear in the other.

When The Spinner ride was over, the two couples found Anna Mae and Angelo at the Hercules Pad. Laura’s red hair looked as though it had been through a hurricane and it was now Anna Mae’s turn to be smug. Angelo, his muscles flexed and wearing a jauntily tipped cowboy hat, slammed a gigantic mallet onto a pad that sent a red arrow flying 20 feet straight up. It whacked the target gong with a force that carried the sound half way across the park. Debbie looked at Angelo with total admiration. Laura’s eyes turned two shades greener.

It was nearing four o’clock when they all converged upon the hot dog stand. While waiting for their orders to be filled, the boys dared the girls to take a ride in the Old Mill, generally known as the Tunnel of Love.

Laura giggled and shook her head. Anna Mae avoided Angelo’s eyes. Debbie looked at Jake and said, “No way!”

With catsup, mustard and relish dripping from their hot dogs, they strolled in the direction of the Old Mill, found a bench across from it, sat down to finish their snacks, and then debate the issue.

The boys won.

Angelo studied Anna Mae’s face. She had a look in her eyes that wasn’t there before, an expression so remote, so distant. She looked up at him. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

It seemed as though her voice had changed too. It was softer, more childlike. Or was it his imagination? Then she said something that sent shivers up his spine: “Wasn’t it nice that Debbie gave me her Teddy Bear?”

He swallowed hard. She didn’t remember that he had given her the Teddy Bear when he won it at the dart game. He took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go over to the picnic area where there aren’t so many people.”

Hanging on to Angelo’s hand and holding the bear by one foot, Anna Mae followed him like a docile child as he worked his way through the crowd. Now and then she would pause, look around at the people, the games, and the rides. At The Ferris Wheel, she stopped to look at the suspended baskets. He asked if she wanted to ride, but she shook her head and they moved on.

At last they reached the picnic area. He walked her past the table where his mother was gathering soiled paper plates. He led her to an isolated Oak tree at the edge of the grove. The earth smelled of newly cut grass. They sat on the ground under the tree. Anna Mae leaned back against the gnarled trunk and placed the bear on the ground beside her. He watched her eyes follow the sunbeams as they filtered down through the trees, scattering specks of light on the ground.

“Are you feeling better now?”

She didn’t answer—just kept staring at the specks of light.

“Anna Mae? Anna Mae, what is it? What happened to you back there?”

She looked up into the cloudless sky where two wayward balloons floated in an ocean of blue. He put his hand on her chin and turned her head so she was facing him. “What in the world is going on?”

Her face was a blank.

“Talk to me!”

Nothing.

“Annie Mae, please! You’re scaring me!”

Suddenly she shouted the word: Wheelbarrow! She seemed startled at the sound of her own voice.

“Wheelbarrow?”

“Yes, the wheelbarrow.”

“What about it?”

“Oh, Angelo,” she said, her voice strained, her face pale. “It’s hard for me to explain.” She paused and took a deep breath. “What did I do?”

He tried to hide his confusion. “You don’t know what you did?”

“No, Angelo. I don’t know.”

“Why? How? I mean…you don’t know?”

Tears were now flowing down her cheeks. They fell in huge droplets from her chin onto her lap. He reached into his hip pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and began to wipe them away. She took the handkerchief and did it herself.

“It’s a long story,” she said.

Angelo moved closer.

“I never told anyone. I’m afraid to tell.”

“You can tell me anything,” he said, removing his cowboy hat and placing it on the ground.

“It’s always been my secret,” she said, her voice fading. “Ever since I can remember I’ve had these…these…blackouts.”

He could hardly hear her now. He leaned closer.

“I lose time,” she whispered, seeming to be talking to herself. “Hours. Sometimes a day. Or more. I don’t know where I was. Or what I did.”

She paused and Angelo was afraid to speak, to do anything that would cause her to stop talking. Finally, her voice a bit louder, she continued. “It took me a long time to understand what it is and why it happens.” She sat up straight, rigid. “Please don’t tell anyone. Please!”

“Cross my heart.”

She hung her head. “If you don’t want to see me anymore, I’ll understand. Just please, don’t tell anyone.”

“Anna Mae, if you tell me not to repeat something, I would never, ever do it. You can trust me. Don’t you realize how important you are to me?”

She looked up. “What?”

“You’re important to me. And nothing you tell me is going to change that. Anna Mae, I love you.”

She looked at him with wide blue eyes as though she hadn’t heard right. Then she looked away. “I guess…I think—I better tell you everything.”

He tried to gather her close to comfort her. “Don’t,” she said, and pushed him away. “Just let me tell you.”

He listened quietly while she talked. She told him about her blackouts, how she had become skilled at hiding her lost time, and that it was probably the result of Walter’s beatings. She explained why she never dared to get too close to anyone. She was afraid they would find out and think she was crazy. By then, tears streamed down her face.

He didn’t move a muscle. He sat mesmerized by every heartbreaking word.
This can’t be that happy little girl with the long braids that I chased in the schoolyard—the same pretty girl I watched from my seat beside the Bishop’s chair, hoping she was watching me too.

She used his handkerchief to wipe the tears away. He marveled at how her long lashes made shadows on her cheeks. This beautiful girl has finally shared the truth of her life with someone she trusted. And he was that someone.

The lengthening shadows sent the sunbeams off in another direction, and the flecks of light that once sprinkled the ground were replaced by shadow. Angelo watched the haunted look in Anna Mae’s eyes give way to a curious mixture of sadness and relief. All this time, all these years, she had been living on a tightrope, trying desperately not to lose her balance.

She touched his face. He took her into his arms and held her. She nestled her head on his shoulder. He ran his hand down her arm, petting her as though she were an injured kitten. He whispered, “Everything will be okay.”