Broken (37 page)

Mattie stared at him, dumbfounded. Her throat tightened and she blinked.
I will not cry, I will not cry
.

‘Ma'am? Do you understand?'

‘Yes, but . . . then what
can
I do?' Mattie leant forward desperately ‘Just give up?'

‘No, not at all. My advice would be to get down to the Dandenong Family Court first thing tomorrow and apply for interim residency orders. You'll need to go for your final orders first but they can take up to twelve months to be heard. If you apply for an interim one as well, then that'll get heard quicker and you'll have legal orders in place pending the final version. They'll explain it all to you down there.'

‘Okay,' said Mattie slowly. ‘Interim residency orders?'

‘That's the ticket,' said the policeman cheerfully. ‘Then if he goes against the orders, we can do something. But as it stands, unless the kids are in danger – they're not in danger, are they?'

‘No, they're not,' replied Mattie reluctantly. She stared down at her hands for a moment and then looked up again. ‘He took our money too.'

‘Sounds like you really need some legal advice. Go sort out the orders and then see a lawyer, that's what I'd do. Or contact legal aid. Speak to them at the courts tomorrow and get some information.'

‘Okay.' Mattie nodded politely. ‘Thank you.'

‘No worries. Good luck!'

Mattie walked back down the passage and the automatic doors slid open at her approach. Suddenly a thought popped into her head – however many steps it takes me to get to my car is the length of time I'll be without my children. She set off, taking long strides, and reached the car in sixteen steps. Sixteen minutes without them. Maybe they would be home by the time she got there. Or maybe it was sixteen hours, or sixteen days. She wiped at her eyes roughly, started the car and drove home. And it came as no surprise to find that Jake's car was not there either so, as soon as she turned off the
ignition, Mattie leant her head against the wheel. Then, at last, she started to cry.

Mattie might have stayed there, in the car, for the rest of the day had it not been for Hilda. Inside the double carport that serviced the two front units, she couldn't really be seen by anyone just passing by and, even once she'd finished crying, Mattie quite simply lacked the motivation to move. Instead she sat with her head resting against the steering-wheel and alternated between a deep despondency and an almost mindnumbing anger. Her head throbbed and her limbs felt weak, drained. And although she dearly wanted to be inside her unit, closed off, the thought of physically getting out of the car and crossing the driveway was overwhelming.

It was about three-quarters of an hour after she'd parked that Mattie heard the sharp knocking on the window just by her left ear. She jerked in surprise and turned to stare into Hilda's black-button eyes, peering at her through the glass with concern. Embarrassment flooded Mattie immediately and with it came the motivation she needed to get moving again. She grabbed her handbag and leapt out of the car, slamming the door behind her as she wiped her face quickly and tried to look relatively normal. That was when she noticed that standing behind Hilda was her husband, Ernest, holding his car keys and looking ill-at-ease.

‘Mattie!' Hilda took a step towards her and then stopped. She looked at her searchingly. ‘Are you all right? What happened?'

‘Nothing. I'm fine, really. Hello, Ernest.'

‘Hello, dear.' Ernest looked at her rather sadly.

‘You go on inside, Mattie,' said Hilda. ‘I shall be there in a minute.'

‘What?' asked Ernest, frowning as he took his wife by the arm.

Mattie didn't really want Hilda's company, especially if it meant she would get into trouble with her husband, but she didn't have the strength to argue either. She just nodded and started walking towards her unit. One foot in front of the other. Behind her she could hear Hilda and Ernest arguing, but not loudly or aggressively – just disagreeing. She got out her keys and unlocked the front door, walked inside and
threw her keys and handbag onto the couch. Then she dug Ginny and Rachel's money out of her pocket and threw that down too. One of the coins bounced off the couch and rolled along the carpet towards the beanbag. Mattie ran her fingers through her hair. Her scalp still hurt, along with the rest of her.

‘Okay then.' Hilda came bustling in and closed the door. She put her hand on the small of Mattie's back and ushered her into the kitchen, guiding her towards a chair. Then she went over to the stove, filled the kettle and lit the gas underneath it. She didn't say anything while she made the coffee, and neither did Mattie, who just sat at the table and stared at her hands. She needed to wash them but couldn't summon the energy. Finally Hilda placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of her and sat down on the other side of the table.

‘Thanks,' said Mattie quietly.

‘Now tell me what happened. And start at the beginning.'

Mattie took a deep breath. Part of her wanted to spill everything but another part just wanted to curl up and cry. It was all just so embarrassing, so mortifying to be in this situation.

‘Come along.' Hilda took a sip of coffee and regarded Mattie patiently. ‘I am not leaving till you tell me. And you never know, I might be able to help.'

‘You can't help.' Mattie shook her head without hesitation. ‘I don't think anyone can. It's all happening so fast. This time last week I was thinking maybe there was a chance that my marriage might work after all, and now I don't even know where my kids are.'

‘The children are missing?'

‘They're with their father.'

‘But I thought they were with you during the week?'

‘So did I.' Mattie laughed shortly. ‘But it seems the rules have changed.'

‘Okay. How about you start with last Wednesday night. What happened?'

‘How did . . . oh.
You
were the one who rang the police.' Mattie looked at Hilda for confirmation. ‘I suppose I should thank you then. That was all because Hannah rang him and told him off. But that's also when
things went really bad too. He wanted to take the kids with him but the police arrived then and he left. So now he's having his revenge.'

‘How so?'

‘He didn't return them on Sunday. And he picked them up early from school today, before I even got there. I've gone everywhere, but I can't find them.'

‘Did you go to the police?'

‘Yes.' Mattie looked at Hilda hopelessly. ‘But he's not doing anything illegal. It's not kidnapping when he's their father and we've got nothing written on paper.'

‘But did they at least give you some advice?' Hilda frowned. ‘There must be something you can do.'

‘There is. I can go to the Dandenong Family Court tomorrow and file for what's called interim residency orders. But god knows how long they'll take.'

‘I am so sorry, Mattie.'

‘Me too.' Mattie sighed, the breath of air making rippling brown circles in her coffee mug. She stared at them as they faded.

‘But at least you will be doing something tomorrow.' Hilda tried to sound upbeat. ‘And as soon as you have these orders, then you have the law on your side.'

‘I suppose so.' Mattie looked up grimly. ‘But there's more.'

‘More?'

‘Yes. Just before I left, we put all our money into a term deposit for the year. So that . . . well, so that it'd be safe.' Mattie laughed flatly. ‘Safe! I thought nothing could happen without both our signatures, but I was wrong. Stupid. He's closed it down, transferred the money into his own account. It's gone.'

‘Oh, Mattie.'

Mattie shook herself. ‘I shouldn't be telling you all this. It's not your problem.'

‘You need to tell someone,' said Hilda matter-of-factly. ‘And I really do not mind. But would you like me to call Hannah, yes?'

‘God no,' replied Mattie with feeling. ‘She was coming around today but she probably dropped in while I wasn't home. It doesn't matter
anyway because I just don't want to see anyone at the moment. I mean that, Hilda, please.'

Hilda looked at her doubtfully. ‘You should not be alone.'

‘If you think I'm going to do something stupid – don't. And to be honest, I think being alone will help me think things through rationally. Plan my next move.'

‘You make it sound like a –'

‘A game?' finished Mattie derisively. ‘That's exactly what it is. To Jake anyway And I've got to stop feeling sorry for myself and start thinking one step ahead.'

‘That is the spirit!' Hilda got up and rinsed her cup under the sink. Then she turned and faced Mattie. ‘And what is more, you can take a leaf out of his book. Pick up the kids early tomorrow. Make
sure
you get them.'

Mattie stared at her, surprised. ‘Do you know . . . that's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?'

‘Because you are a nice person who does not think that way.' Hilda pointed to Mattie's mug. ‘Now you drink that coffee up and then make yourself something to eat. And I shall leave you alone.'

‘Thanks, Hilda.' Mattie smiled at her sincerely. ‘You're a truly good neighbour.'

After Hilda left, Mattie got up and washed her hands and then stayed at the table for a while mulling over the conversation, and the events of the afternoon. There were no more tears, simply because she felt cried out. Besides, the thought of action – that there was
something
she could do to stem this flood she seemed to be caught up in, or at least help turn it a bit more to her advantage – revitalised her to some extent. As far as the money was concerned, she had to face the fact that it was as good as gone. At least until the property settlement anyway, where she should be able to regain her portion. But until then she couldn't bank on it, and was probably better off not even thinking about it.

The children were another matter. There was absolutely no way she was going to lose them. Mattie's mouth set grimly at the thought. And it was not just a case of her missing them and wanting them and needing them, but that she knew in her heart of hearts that she was by far the
better parent. More even-tempered, less selfish, more interested, more in tune, more willing to listen. And more willing to see past the circle of her own life, with its hopes and dreams and desires, to the circle around them. To see them as separate entities, and not merely extensions of herself. She'd long known that Jake had problems in this area, but if there was one thing that was certain, his actions over the past few weeks had cemented this in stone.

It was this that was still uppermost in Mattie's mind when she arrived at the primary school at two o'clock the following day. She deliberately kept it at the forefront because it had helped her do what she needed to do today, which was front the Dandenong Family Court and apply for orders against Jake. It was an overwhelming morning. A lot of waiting, a lot of paperwork, a lot of new information. She ended up applying for both final orders and interim orders but also collected a kit that allowed for parents to do their own orders and then file them. This was by far Mattie's most preferred option, but she didn't have a great deal of confidence that it could be accomplished. But then again, faced with a lengthy and potentially expensive legal process, Jake might prefer it too.

The good news was that the paperwork had gone through relatively smoothly and her brand new concession card meant that the fee, which she quite simply didn't have the money to pay, had been waived. The bad news was that, as the children weren't in danger, the interim order could take up to twenty-eight days to be heard. But Mattie kept telling herself that at least she was finally doing something. Playing the game, and even wielding a pre-emptive strike.

She arrived home to find a rather worried note from Hannah under the door so she rang her to set her sister's mind at rest. She didn't tell her about the children, or the money, deciding that these were things better left to a face-to-face meeting. Then she raced down to the school where she was now. About to collect Max and Courtney and take them home. Where they belonged.

Mattie went to the office first where she asked for two early slips,
which she filled out for Max and Courtney Hampton with the time and a reason that she made up on the spur of the moment –
Doctor's appointment
. That would do. When Mattie passed the slips back to the lady in the office, she glanced at the names and then looked up at Mattie, puzzled.

‘Didn't these two finish early yesterday too?'

Mattie smiled reassuringly. ‘Been one of those weeks.'

‘And it's only just started,' the lady laughed, making a notation on the slips and then passing them back to Mattie. ‘Do you know which classrooms they're in?'

‘Yep. Thanks.' Mattie took the slips and began the long trek down the corridor, past the hanging bags and long high windows through which she could see the occasional teacher and the tops of the student's heads. There was a certain sound that walking down a school corridor made, a sort of hollow linoleum thud that was unique. It was impossible to walk quietly and all the way Mattie fancied that Jake would suddenly appear behind her.
And just what do you think you're doing, sweetheart?

She went to Max's room first, simply because it was the closest, and stood on tiptoes to peer through the window, struck by a sudden dread that they'd already gone and she had lost, again. But almost immediately she saw the top of Max's brown head, bent laboriously over an exercise book. She let her breath out in a rush, and then went to the door and knocked on it softly. After a moment it was opened by a young boy and Mattie slid inside, smiling at Mrs Hope even as she walked between the desks to hand her the early slip.

‘Another
early day, Max,' Mrs Hope said after reading the slip. ‘Aren't you lucky?'