Brocade Series 02 - Giselle (35 page)

“Jean-Claude?”
Aunt Mimi paled
.

“Unless you do it,” Giselle added quickly. “As the matriarch,
you can arrange it,
non?”

“Me
? Arrange a marriage? I wouldn’t know the first thing about it
. I feel faint. Could you have my maid bring me a cordial?”

“I’ll help you.” Giselle longed to shake her. “It can’t be too
difficult. We simply send for Mayor Ambross and accept his offer
when it comes,
non?”

“Do what you will, Giselle. Call me when the man arrives. I
can’t think! It’s too much to ask.”

She
was shaking as she stood. Giselle didn’t know if it was due
to her age or the upcoming interview.

~

Ambross looked like a man summoned to his own funeral.
Giselle prayed Esmee was right about him. He had to offer for her.
Giselle had to get him to. Oh, she wished Navarre was here!

“
I wish to thank you for your invitation,
Madame
du
Berchald.”

He bowed over Aunt Mimi’s hand
. She blushed at the
contact. He’d already done the same to Giselle, and she felt him trembling
when he touched her. Giselle waved the manservant from the room
and waited for Ambross to sit down.

She was helping arrange her
sister-in-law’s marriage — she had matured a lot in the last season.

“Monsieur,
you’re probably wondering why Aunt Mimi and I
wished to see you,” Giselle said.

He gulped and nodded. Esmee waited nervously at the top of
the stairs. When Giselle had told her they’d summoned Ambross, she’d almost cried in gratitude.

“We’ve heard of your attachment to my sister, Esmee. Haven’t
we, Aunt Mimi?”

She nodded, and Ambross whitened beneath all his fat
.
What have I done?
Giselle wondered.

“Esmee?”
He choked and dabbed his lip with a handkerchief.

“Oui
.
If we’re not mistaken, she would welcome your suit,
Monsieur”

“Welcome?”

“The Berchalds are prepared to offer the sum of two hundred
louis d’ors
as Esmee’s dowry.” Giselle knew little about money, but
that sounded about right. Francois’ bride had come with a thousand,
and land, too.

“Did you say two hundred?” His eyes gleamed in the folds of
his face.

I
t’s always the money!
Giselle thought in disgust.
From Savignen Valley to this amount, it‘s all men think of when gaining a
bride!

“A fortune
,” he breathed.

Jean-Claude burst into the room, and Giselle almost cried out
like
Aunt Mimi did.

“
I didn’t realize you had returned, Jean-Claude,” Giselle said.

Hard violet-blue eyes glared at
her. Despite her intention to
be brave, Giselle felt the chill in her belly.

“Evidently
…just in time.”

Giselle looked past his shoulder and saw Esmee’s face
. She looked uncertain and worried.

“A
unt Mimi just finished the betrothal of Esmee to Mayor
Ambross,” Giselle said. “Didn’t she,
Monsieur?”

Giselle ignored Jean-Claude and looked to Ambross, although
it was one of the most difficult things she ever did.

“Aunt Mimi?”

Giselle felt the shivers caused by Jean-Claude’s whisper. She
couldn’t imagine how Aunt Mimi was taking it. Giselle knew then
she’d been right. Aunt Mimi did have the authority to arrange a
marriage!

“Most assuredly,
Madame,”
Ambross said. “I look forward to seeing my fiancée at her convenience.”

“Of course.” Giselle smiled. “
I’ll see her summoned to the Red
Salon. Aunt Mimi, will you pull the cord?”

Giselle dared not do it herself
. She wasn’t moving from contemplation of
Jean-Claude. And he returned the favor. And as Aunt Mimi rose, Jean-Claude took her seat. She almost cringed away from his nearness, but caught it.

“You seem interested in giving orders, Giselle,” he
leaned close,
“but don’t grow fond of giving out my gold. Do I make myself
clear?”

“Your
gold? Why, Jean-Claude! Such a jester you can be.”
Giselle laughed, but it was brittle-sounding to her own ears.

“
It’s no jest,
Madame.
I warn you.” His words stopped, and
his eyes narrowed. At the same time, his features softened. She’d
never seen such a change. She knew he was going to try a different
tack, and prepared herself. “You’re such a lovely
duchesse,
and yet
you stay sequestered with my older brother? Why would you deny
the world the pleasure of your presence like that? It isn’t very
gracious of you.”

Giselle shrugged. “It’s Etienne’s wish.”

“What does he have to keep your interest,
ma cherie?”

He leaned closer, and Giselle gripped the chair arms
. Oh, why did she ever think herself brave?

“Why Giselle, you’re not dressed for our ride
. I specifically
mentioned the time. Did you forget?”

Giselle struggled to control her expression as Navarre
was ushered into the salon. He walked to her and bent over
her hand. His attire was perfect. He looked perfect. Healthy. Clean. No one would guess he’d been up
almost the entire night, although… Now that she looked closely at him, she could see a tiny scratch on his chin, and some darkening along his throat where she’d been overly
amorous with kisses.

“
I must…have forgotten,” she stammered.

“Pity
. I was looking forward to showing you the grape stamping vats. Tomorrow, perhaps?”

Giselle nodded
. It seemed like the only thing she was capable
of. She couldn’t believe her own reaction to his touch. Even with
Jean-Claude sitting right beside her, she felt the quivers from holding to Navarre.

“
And Jean-Claude. Here, still? I can’t imagine what the chateau has to
keep you from Versailles this long,” Navarre continued. “I’ve heard they mourn your continued absence.”

He released her hand and turned toward his brother
. Although
his voice hadn’t changed, Giselle didn’t imagine the threat in his stance. She knew Jean-Claude wasn’t immune to it, either. Navarre
looked dangerous. It was strange how that thought thrilled her.

“
I find things much more entertaining here, littlest brother,”
Jean-Claude replied in a bored tone. “Why, you never know what
might happen next. First, my eldest brother consummates his
marriage, and then my sister gets betrothed. I wouldn’t find it odd to
hear of your own wedding plans when next I wake.”

“Esmee’s betrothal?”

Navarre glanced at Giselle, and he
shouldn’t need to.
She’d told him about Esmee’s feelings the previous night. He
said he’d handle it, but Giselle wanted to prove herself. He should
understand, if anyone could.

“I
just walked in on Esmee’s betrothal to the mayor, and no one had the decency to notify me in advance,” Jean-Claude
complained.

Giselle mumbled something about Etienne needing her and
escaped from the room without looking back.

She had done it
!

She settled Esmee’s future and no one helped
her do it. When Louisa and Isabelle saw her skipping about her chamber, even
they paused in their duties. Giselle simply tipped her head and smiled
wider. She knew what the change was.

She wasn’t a mouse anymore.

She was the
Duchesse
du
Berchald.

“We’ll leave Swift Night and Judgment Day here,
Giselle,” Navarre said.

Who would name a horse Judgment Day?

She
didn’t ask it aloud, because it sounded like a bad omen, and she
didn’t want anything to spoil her day with Navarre.

“In case any look for us, we wandered amid the vines, but
you’ll have to ride up with me. Can you do it?”

He shouldn’t need to ask.

“I always keep a mount here. It saves time if I’ve been away
too long or the horse is tired. Come.
I’ll
lift you up.”

Barring the cabriolet, Giselle had never been so high in her life,
and she looked down in trepidation.

“Don’t
be frightened. I won’t let you fall.
I’d
fall in
your stead, I swear it.”

Hard thighs slid into place behind her, and Giselle tried
ignoring the sensation, especially when he pulled her against his
chest. Because they were touring stamping vats.
Nothing more.

“Where do we start?” she asked.

He didn’t seem inclined to answer for a bit. They left the
vineyard behind and started up a hillside. Steady heartbeats filled her
ears. His soft breath teased her neck, but still, he didn’t answer.

“Navarre
?”

“You can’t tell?”

She shook her head.

“I’m taking you to the arbor.”

“The arbor? But why?”

“Need you ask?” He chuckled.

She turned in shock. “But, Navarre, it’s still daylight!”

“
I know.” He laughed harder, and his arms tightened around her. “You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined this, too. I felt
like thanking Jean-Claude yesterday for making this a reality.”

“
But…we can’t!”

Giselle tried to ignore the images
. It felt wicked
and depraved, as bad as any animal in heat. She couldn’t possibly
allow it.
The arbor loomed before she could give voice to her rebuttal. Sunlight
streamed through the greenery.
She’d never seen anything so beautiful and peaceful.

Navarre slid off the horse’s back behind her, and she eyed his
hands. In the dark of night, hidden away in her bedchamber, it didn’t
seem as real as it did at that exact moment.

“
I love you, Giselle.”

Her eyes filled as she looked at him expectantly standing there
.
If she wished it, he’d remount and leave with her. She didn’t
need to ask. Light percolated through the leaves, touching on the bench within the greenery beyond him. Giselle’s
heart surged.

She leaned
forward and fell into the tightness of arms that
trembled as he held her. That’s when she knew he’d been holding his breath, a
waiting for her decision.

“
And I love you, Navarre.”

Lips touched hers, softly at first, then
powerfully. She grabbed his jacket lapels with hands like claws. He moved, and she clung.
Vines brushed her elbows, forehead, slippers, but she paid
little attention to the contact. It meant she’d have some scratches to explain,
but that sounded like a small price to pay for what was
going to take place.

She felt the bench at her back, the give of a stem behind her
head, and above all, Navarre’s weight atop her. The weave of his
jacket tickled her neck as he pressed into her, dropping his kisses
onto her cheeks. Her nose. Her lips.

“
Oh, dear God! What am I doing?” He ground out the words
against her mouth and then yanked his lips from hers.

Giselle
watched him lift his head. He had the
oddest expression on his face. His eyes were wide with an expression bordering on disgust. She still trembled at the feel of him atop her, the length of one leg was already between her thighs, separating them.

“Navarre?” she whispered.

He heaved a breath and stood, disentangling himself from arms
that felt leaden. Giselle cringed away from the look he gave her before he turned. His shoulders lifted as he
sucked in air, then he gave the loudest, most raw cry she’d ever heard.

Giselle gaped
. She wasn’t the only one affected. More than
one bird was startled from its perch and loudly proclaimed the reaction about it.

“Mon Dieu
!”

Navarre yelled the words
with another cry, this one deeper in
timbre and lasting even longer. It raised gooseflesh all along her as
she heard it.

Giselle put her hands over her eyes
. She didn’t dare look at
him. She didn’t dare look at anyone. The rustling about her quieted
and she waited what seemed a long time.

“
I must apologize, Giselle.”

His whisper was as heart-rending
as his cry had been.
She turned her head and opened her eyes. He was leaning
against greenery, holding back his hair with hands that trembled. She wondered what he was looking at, out beyond the
horse.

“Navarre?”

“Didn’t you hear me?” he asked.

“But…I’m willing.
I
heard you, but
I’m
willing, Navarre.”

Giselle didn’t know how she got the words out. She watched
his shoulders flinch when she did.

“I know
, my love. I thought I was, too. It’s just…I can’t
explain it. I long to see you, be with you, grow old with you…love you. And I want to be seen with you! I don’t want it hidden anymore…like the deceitful
secret it is.”

Giselle sat up slowly, brushing stray leaves and twigs from her
bodice as she arranged her skirts into the proper arrangement.

“Can you understand what
I’m
saying?”

She nodded, but he still faced away from her, and couldn’t
have seen it.

“I’ve envisioned you here so often
…your hair unbound. Your
clothing strewn about. And now that I have it…I can’t do it. I love
you too much.”

He stopped, and she waited again. She knew exactly what he
spoke of.

“
I thought if I possessed your body, I’d be whole. The torment would end.
I was a fool. I find it so difficult to imagine being
apart from you that I’ve created an even greater purgatory
to reside in.
I’m
explaining this poorly, I know. You’ll have to
forgive me for that, too.”

He turned stricken eyes to her, and Giselle’s
immediately welled with unshed tears.

“
I was never a poet, Giselle. I never aspired to such. And then I met
you. All I know is that I love you so much, it hurts.
I can’t believe it at times…but I also love my brother, Etienne! A
nd you belong to him. Sometimes I fantasize of what could be, but
I’m
evil to contemplate that! You will never be mine unless something
happens to him. It can’t be. You belong to Etienne, not to me.”

He fell to his knees before her and grabbed her hands with such force she winced. He
didn’t seem aware of what
he did. He wasn’t capable of seeing her. He looked like he was
being sentenced for the same crime she was guilty of.

“Navarre, please don’t do this. I beg it of
you.”

He smiled sadly.

“You see? I explained it poorly. I don’t mean our love. That is a gift from the
Bon Dieu.
Never doubt that. It’s
the only thing that keeps me sane. And don’t you dare forget, we do what we do to save Etienne.
But that does not excuse my new
feelings for you. The way my heart feels whenever you’re close. How
it aches when you’re not. It’s as much a part of me as breathing
. I love you so much I can scarcely recall Etienne’s face! But I must. I
have to. Don’t you see?”

He lifted her hands and touched his lips to them, but
it wasn’t to
kiss. He was pulling back from her. Withdrawing.

“
I have to also accept the fact that your child will belong to Etienne. He’ll be its
father. Not me! I don’t think I can even contemplate how that will feel. Do you
understand? I can’t imagine standing by and watching as that happens.
I’m
no saint. I’ve dreamed of us together, just as our nights
have shown, but it’s impossible. Etienne stands in the way.”

He sighed and turned away. “
But for such thoughts,
I’m
as vile
as Jean-Claude.”

“
No, Navarre.”

He looked up and smiled, but his eyes no longer held any
secret messages for her. They were as empty as glass.

“
I love you, Giselle. I always will. But I can’t have you. I never could. Only
at night, hidden from view, can I play-act as if I can…and play-acting isn’t real! God! I
wish it was.”

He might not have been crying, but it looked like he was
.
Giselle knew what he was saying. He didn’t explain anything poorly. He was a master at words. She didn’t try to stop him as
he w
alked to his horse, still grazing as placidly before them.

“Come, Giselle
. It grows late. We can have no whisper attached to your
child, can we?”

“How do you know I carry one?”

“I don’t know. I simply hope it is so. We can’t do this much
longer. Seeing you here made me certain. You were so pure and
untouched, Giselle. I should worship at your feet, not drag you into
hell with me!”

She
followed and waited for him to lift her back in front of the
saddle. At least she’d have the ride back with him.
Navarre had opened her eyes, and he was right. The situation was worse. Now that she knew what loving meant, how could she face it when she did conceive, and it was over?

No
.

Giselle refused to
think of the babe as Etienne’s. The entire world could say it,
but she wouldn’t. She loved Navarre too much. Their child would be an extension of that love. She was certain.

“Navarre?” she whispered softly.

He didn’t look down at her. He watched the leaves
shimmering above them, instead. She reached to touch his throat. She had her fingers against it
when he gulped, and she felt the tremble of his cry. He refused to look down at her, and she knew why. It would cost him too dearly.

“
I love you.” She leaned against his chest.

He grabbed her about the waist and
lifted her away from him and into the
saddle. She instinctively knew why he didn’t put her in front of it. Because he really was withdrawing. She wouldn’t even get this ride.

He walked the horse slowly, shoulders slumped and his head bowed
.
From her solitary perch, the vineyard looked spectacularly lush
as they left the trees. Giselle tried to look at anything except Navarre’s back. They were well into the growing season, and purple
grapes hung from every limb, contrasting with the green leaves.

Savignen Valley was well worth any price to possess it
.

E
xcept the
one she was paying.

~

She knew she had to tell him, and it felt like she was facing execution to contemplate it. She’d been suspicious of the success of Etienne’s plot, but, after swearing Louisa and Isabelle to secrecy,
Giselle hoped to have a few more days, maybe weeks.

Navarre still visited her nightly, and they pretended like
nothing had changed since the arbor. But it had.
It was like an unspoken pact between them. They were
living in a fool’s world, but she still went on her knees to beg God for a few more days.

That didn’t seem too much to ask, a few more days before she
had to tell Navarre of her pregnancy. The knowledge would end his
visits. She’d never again catch her breath at the sound of his
footstep, nor cry aloud her pleasure, nor hear his groans of fulfillment. The babe would end everything that mattered for her.