Brightleaf (19 page)

Epilogue

Mavis Beams Us the Hell Outta Here!

First off, I’m gonna say I ain’t jealous of nobody goin on a cruise. Havin my two feet planted here on dry land is plenty adventure for a girl my age with two rascally dogs to look after. Lord, Mr. Sulu already done chewed up two pairs of Mary Beth’s shoes and one of my sneakers. Top that off, he gnawed a hole clear through one of the sofa cushions. I keep tellin Floyd he needs to be a leader, show Mr. Sulu the way gentlemen dogs is s’posed to behave. Floyd, he just stands there watchin Mr. Sulu commit one crime after the next.

Doc and MB ain’t no help, neither. Them two got hitched last Saturday at the Wendy’s church. The whole Share Group was there, some of Dr. D’s doctor friends, and so was Marcelle and her mama and daddy. I was the Matron of Honor, and honey, the Goodwill ain’t never gettin that dress back again! MB told me I could pick out whatever I wanted, so I did, and baby, it’s the one I’m gettin buried in. But that ain’t nothin. You shoulda seen the bride and groom walk up to the Wendy’s counter, where the preacher was standin, in them
Star Trek
leotards. When it came time for the rings, I whistled for Floyd, and he scampered up to Dr. D, fur on his head all slicked back like Elvis, and lets him pull the ring outta a little pocket on a bowtie collar we got for the occasion. My Floyd, a ring bearer! Now they’re off on a
Star Trek
Celebrity cruise. I think Doc and Mary Beth is gonna be happy together. They’re movin out to the carriage house when they get back, so MB can still run the Rapturous Rest, but so’s they can have some privacy, too.

I know what you’re wonderin. What ever happened to that Cruise for Three that Mary Beth was promised way back? Mary Beth changed her mind about lettin the Share Group draw straws; instead she turned it into a raffle. You could buy as many tickets as you wanted for fifty cent apiece. She donated the money to the soup kitchen. Anyway, Baby George, he probably bought near to seventy-five tickets, and he won all right. He picked Jimmy and Phil to go on the cruise with him. And we was all wonderin why he’d pick them two bozos instead of some ladies or somethin.

Baby George says, “We’re a team, and we stick together! Plus, if I go on a cruise without them, Jimmy will fire me.”

“True,” says Jimmy.

Don’t ask me about Eleanor or Manchild. I expect one’s in jail and one’s workin with the Salvation Army. Which is doin which? I do not know. Ain’t it funny how life is?

Speakin of funny. We got us a new boarder. His name is Newman, and he’s sweet on old Mavis, here. He’s my age, about six feet tall, and skinny as a broken pencil. I could tell he took a shine to me when he’d creep out to the front porch and offer me cigarettes and Krispy Kremes all shy-like. Anyway, he’s invited me out for Bingo two or three times, over to the old Harlan Hotel downtown. Somebody turned it into a senior center a few years back. So if you’re ever lookin for the old folks of Brightleaf you’ll find them all
up
in
the Harlan Hotel. I mean they’re packed in there and lovin every minute of it. But last time he invited me to Bingo, I drew the line. I says, “Newman, if you want me to be your girl, you’ve got to think of somethin more interestin for us to do than sit around and play Bingo till we croak.”

Newman may be shy, but he ain’t stupid. Right off, he started plannin excursions for us. Since neither of us owns a car, we always take the Greyhound. So far we’ve been to High Point to see The World’s Largest Chest of Drawers and Winston-Salem to visit The Giant Salem Coffee Pot (which I don’t recommend because it ain’t as giant as I hoped). Next we’ve got us an all-day field trip comin up. We’re takin the bus to the Pamlico Sound to see the Belhaven Memorial Museum! It’s a of museum packed full of shit somebody hauled out of this dead crazy lady’s house, like a two-headed kitten, several mummified squirrels, and a dress worn by a seven hundred pound woman. I caint wait! But best of all, it’s got a flea bride and groom that you get to look at through a magnifyin glass. And Newman thought this up just for me.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to the following people for helping me craft this novel, everything from editing to advice on publishing: Will Rand, Mark Ari, April Gray Wilder, Laura Vigen, Alex Pucher, Megan Weigel, Buzzy Porter, Torborg Davern, and Cogitate Studios.