Bright Star (39 page)

“None of us are infallible, Rush,” Monk told him. “Not even you. I think that if she were able to key into what can only be a very real fear of yours, then yes, yes you could have fallen to that simple of a suggestion.”

“But why? Why that, of all things?” Rush asked with a pained pull of his lips. He was replaying the interchange in his mind. He was testing his body, searching for any residue of the High Energy that may have been used on him. Where his memory failed him, the examination did not. He found the telltale traces of Bright Star’s recently spent Energy inside him. “Why would she want me to do this?”

“You know why.”

Rush did know why, but he didn’t want to think about it. He had no choice. Responsibility. Bright Star had been preaching it from the beginning. He needed to take responsibility for the lives and welfare of not only those around him, but everybody. Additionally, she knew what pain and guilt would come from inciting him to physically lash out at her. She knew the way he would be plagued by memories of his gentle mother. Guilt, in her gamble, had been the dark brother of responsibility. She wanted him to accept this cosmic responsibility, and she had never much cared how she got him to do so.

Rush straightened, “Monk?”

“Yes, Rush?”

“You believe she’s crazy?”

“I believe in you,” was the answer.

“I know that,” Rush accepted with pursed lips. “I know you believe in me. I know that all of the others believe in me. And I know that Bright Star definitely believes in me. That doesn’t mean she’s not crazy…” He paused. “Or dangerous.”

“If you’ll recall,” Monk said, only half-joking, “I tried to strangle her.”

“Yes.”

“You stopped me.”

Rush rolled his eyes, feeling more relaxed after talking to Monk. “Yes.” Then, hesitantly, he added, “You know why.”

Monk stared into his palm pensively until a small yellow flame began to build there. The flame slowly turned to green, then to blue, then to purple. “I can never get it to go to red.” Monk said.

Rush reached over and placed his hand above the flame. He then opened his mind to the priest. The flame turned red.

Monk’s eyes widened and he grinned. But then he noticed Rush was silent once more. “What is it, Rush?”

“She’s going to kill you.”

Monk swallowed and extinguished the flame in his hands. Then he bent over the edge once more. “I know.”

“And your wife. And your child, if but for a moment.”

Slowly, Monk acknowledged, “Yes, I know.”

“I’m not who you think I am,” was the answer.

“You’re exactly who I think you are.”

“I’m selfish and I don’t care like you all want me to care. There are circumstances when I will not save people, even when I have the power to.”

“I know.” Monk nodded in agreement. “You’re not the one. But without you... Without your
selfishness
…”

“No,” Rush countered, “Without you.”

Monk gave a long shrug. Rush said nothing.

“Do you think she’s crazy?” Monk asked, changing the subject.

“Absolutely.”

“When you think about it though, it doesn’t make sense.” He started to stroke his chin.

“What’s that?”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Monk waved his arms. “None of it makes sense, and it should make sense at the very least to me. I am a scientist, you know.”

“What doesn’t make sense, and what does your being a scientist have to do with it?”

“How can she become stronger and faster? How can every one of her senses be enhanced by your residual Energy except for her goddamned brain? Coriolis pseudoforce—”

“What?”

“Never mind… I can’t figure it out. She just continues to follow this… this… path of madness.”

“Why do you follow her, then?” Rush asked more casually than either of them felt. The question was one Rush had obviously wanted to ask for some time. He did not like the answer.

Monk grinned. “I don’t follow her. All the rest of them follow her, I follow you. And don’t think I don’t know the difference. Maybe you are not the next savior but you are incredibly powerful and I believe in your power just as strongly as any of them do. I also believe in your goodness.” Rush balked. Monk continued, “Yes, your goodness. What I don’t understand is…” And in that one, single solitary instant… he did understand. “It
is
.” He exhaled.

Rush did not give the gaping Monk his attention. Instead, he continued to stare straight ahead. He appeared to be studying the horizon.

“
It is
,” Monk repeated dramatically. “It is helping her mind, isn’t it? Physics, biology, chemistry. Motion, cells, and molecules. It’s all the same. Our bodies are ruled by static, natural law. Physical, mental, it’s all the same. Even those of us that can channel High Energy. Even
you
.
Parameters of Shift 101
, as Jackson says. I didn’t understand because it just wasn’t possible. It’s like Jackson said, there are laws and we are all bound by them. The universe is bound by them.
She
is getting better. It’s why she could save herself when you asked that I deliver the bodies from the sea. You thought they were all dead, but they weren’t.
She
saved the others, those who were left. The water, it acted as an accelerant for her Energy, just like… God, Rush, do you see what you have done for her? Do you understand? Oh God!
She knows
. I knew you were a… a… but, I didn’t know… Oh God.” Tears started to course down the Monk’s cheeks. He stood only to sink to his knees before Rush in the same way he had seen Bright Star do it dozens of times before.

Rush reached down and pulled him up until they were eye to eye. “Monk,” he said, slightly shaking the other man. “Monk, I told you once before never kneel to me. Never. No matter what you think, I am still a man and only a man. Yes, my Talent can transform others, change others, even grow inside of others. We all know this, but Bright Star has a piece of this power within her… without
me
. And you have a piece, too.”

Monk grimaced. His faced crumpled in near grief. “No—”

“The rock, Thaddeus,” Rush persisted. “You have the power to transfer High Energy, to transfer a signature, a
life
signature—”

“I—”

“We both know you put your Energy into that rock. You can transfer a life signature, even where there exists one already. You have to help me. I respect you, and you are my friend.”

Monk started to shake his head as if being called a friend to Rush was more of an honor than he deserved.

“Listen to me, now,” Rush said. “If you want her to live, if you want your daughter to live, then we have to help each other. You have to let me help her. It’s the only way.”

“You did say you were selfish.” A jaw ticked in the Monk’s cheek.

Baby

“Are we cool?”

Jackson regarded his brother under heavily lidded eyes. He didn’t answer the question. “She doesn’t blame you,” was all he said.

Rush visibly tried to contain the desire to shake his brother. “I couldn’t care less whether she blames me or not. I’m not asking about her. I’m asking about us, you and me.”

“Do you remember when we were little?”

“I remember.”

“And Dad—”

“Your Dad,” Rush corrected through clenched teeth.

“My Dad,” Jackson acknowledged with a quick nod. “You remember what my father’s temper was like.”

“I don’t think I could forget.”

“You remembered what would happen between him and Mom.”

“There’s no way I could forget that.”

“Or forgive it?”

“Or forgive it,” Rush agreed.

“Then I don’t know how you could have done what you did. And, oddly enough, that’s not even what I want to know.”

Rush gave a pained smile. “You want me to tell you why I never stopped him.”

Jackson didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. His throat had closed over, simply from getting that question out. He had been wanting to ask this for all the days following the incident. Instead, he nodded.

“She wouldn’t let me,” Rush stated plainly.

“Wouldn’t let you—”

“Wouldn’t let me,” Rush repeated firmly. He neared his brother and stood eye to eye with him. “She didn’t want there to be any attention drawn to her Talent or to mine. She didn’t want the Talent. Jackson, you couldn’t know, she had been in and out of the hospital for it before you were even born. When she met your father, everything changed. He controlled her and somehow, she let him control what was inside of her.”

“She could have defended herself,” Jackson croaked.

“She could have, but she didn’t,” Rush returned. “She had no respect for the Talent until you were born. She didn’t want it. She felt guilty for having it. But, then you came. And they both loved you. And… and it started to slow down. It happened less and less. the older you got. It happened less and less until they died.”

“She died.”

“Yes,” Rush agreed. “Then he died.” The question lay between them, waiting. Jackson would want to know. Rush didn’t know whether he wanted to give the truth. In the end, he answered him. “I didn’t kill him.”

“So he died natur—”

“I didn’t kill him. He did die naturally, only a few years later than he should have. She protected him for that last stretch. Without that protection, the disease that was eating him alive had free reign to kill him.”

Jackson considered this. “You knew all this.”

“Yes.”

“You never told me.”

“No,” Rush answered.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Jackson. I’m protective, I guess. You are my blood. I’d rather deal with it, than have you deal with it.”

“You’re like her.”

Rush did not like the similarity drawn between him and his mother. Though he had loved her a great deal, he didn’t want to believe he was that sort of victim. But he couldn’t deny the possibility he was exactly that sort of victim. He shook off the thought. “I didn’t think you needed or would want to know this.”

Jackson did not respond. He ran a broad hand over his face and breathed deeply. His limbs felt like gelatin. He had never known anything. He shook his head, silently disagreeing. With what, he didn’t know.

“Jackson,” Rush began again. “Are we okay?”

“Yes, Rush, we are okay. But—”

“Leave it at that, Jacks,” Rush warned. “Our mother was not defenseless. I’m not defenseless. Bright Star is not defenseless, either.”

“That doesn’t make it right that you…”

“It doesn’t make it right. I never should have done that. I can promise you that I won’t ever hit her again, Jackson. I won’t use Shift to hurt her either, but mark my words that she will have to be stopped one way or another. She is a danger to everyone around her. Everyone. That includes you and me. She can’t be allowed to get away with literal murder. That’s no reason to allow her to terrorize these people whether they know they’re being terrorized or not. That’s no reason for me to allow her to think up and carry out these plans that are more and more dangerous every time. What happens when I can’t save them?”