Bridleton (10 page)

At least she’d been blind and insatiable.

As a person who’d gone from a plump, insecure teenager to an anorexic twenty-two-year-old model, she’d never had the bone-deep self-confidence some women took for granted. Her confidence had all been surface and for show.

Noah had introduced her to wanton, uninhibited sex and she’d loved it. Loved him beyond all reason. It had been both thrilling and frightening to have him choose her over the many women who wanted him. She’d been so proud and so deeply in love.

What had nearly killed her was not knowing whether he felt the same. She didn’t think of herself as the type of woman who inspired undying devotion. She’d never been without doubts or really believed their relationship could work.

She tried blocking all thoughts of him to concentrate on the updates Chey and Nanna had made. Forcing herself to refocus, she booted up the computer and studied spreadsheets. Most of the handwritten data had been transferred, making it so much easier to study their finances. The influx of cash from her checking and savings had paid the most outstanding bills. Zack’s money would ease the crunch for a while.

The sale of her apartment would be finalized in a couple months. That would give them a financial cushion but it wouldn’t be enough to pay for the upgrades they needed, like Zack’s reservoir plans. The ranch had to be profitable again. She sure hoped it was possible.

Nanette interrupted her thoughts when she entered the office. After taking a seat across from Andrea she added her thanks for supporting and encouraging Cheyenne.

“It’s been a joy working with her and it’s another load lifted from Noah’s shoulders.”

“He’d been doing the paperwork too?”

“I’m afraid so. Most of it. I didn’t have the stamina to help with the ranch chores and take care of the business end. Now that you’re helping him Cheyenne and I are making good progress on the backlog of files. It’s good for her to stay busy and share the responsibility around here. She needs purpose in life. I think your plans for fashion designing are perfect.”

Andrea smiled. “Thanks, Nanna. I know you never approved of my mama’s career or mine but it might benefit us all at some point.”

“I never disapproved as much as I didn’t understand,” explained the older woman as she cleaned her glasses with a handkerchief. “My old-fashioned upbringing, I guess.”

“Well I just told my agent I’m taking a leave from modeling. Since he’s not very happy with me right now, I’ll wait a while before mentioning the Bartell Collection.”

“Wise choice,” replied Nanna, rising from her chair with stiff-jointed movements that accentuated her age. “I won’t keep you. You can catch up on what we’ve been doing. Just holler if you need something clarified.”

“I will, and I hope you can stop worrying so much.” Her aunt’s acceptance of the shift in control had been a pleasant surprise. Now it appeared the shift had been more from Noah to Andrea. How did he really feel about it?

Nanette chuckled. “There’s always something to worry about. Right now I’d better get back out to the pool. Trace and Cheyenne are working on it and they might come to blows if there’s not a mediator to intervene in their squabbling.”

“Why are Trace and Cheyenne squabbling?”

The older woman sighed. “They’re totally infatuated with each other but don’t realize it yet.”

“Trace and Cheyenne?” Andrea repeated in amazement. She hadn’t seen any signs of an attraction.

Nanette shook her head. “First Caroline and now Cheyenne. He’s a good man, one of the really loyal, dependable ones. What a shame.”

Andrea stared at her in shock. “Trace and Caroline? They were a couple?”

Her aunt’s brows furrowed in a frown. “Yes, dear. I don’t think it was common knowledge but I knew. Most of the family knew. Of course, you and Noah were so wrapped up in each other that summer you probably didn’t notice. I always wondered what happened to trigger Caroline’s anger and, consequently, her death. I hope the tension between Trace and Cheyenne isn’t a hangover from that horrible accident. I never believed for a minute that Caroline intended to harm herself. She just let her temper get the best of her and it cost her and her baby their lives.”

“But Trace seemed so much older than Caroline,” Andrea protested weakly.

“He’s only eleven years older than Cheyenne. He thinks it makes a huge difference. It’s sad that he worried about being too old for Caroline but then outlived her and their child. We never really know what’s in store for us, do we?”

Nanette made a few more comments and headed for the door, leaving Andrea to stare after her in disbelief. Trace and Caroline? They’d had an affair? He’d been the father of her unborn child? Nausea churned in her stomach at the thought. It made her sick to remember all the vile accusations she’d hurled at Noah back then, her own loss of temper and five years of heartache.

Had she been the only one who hadn’t known the truth? If Noah knew, why hadn’t he defended himself when she’d accused him of cheating? Dear heaven, all these years she’d blamed him for her sister’s death. Even today, all he’d said in his own defense was that he hadn’t cheated. She’d still doubted him.

How could he not resent her? Given what she’d learned today it wasn’t surprising he got furious when she attempted to run things. He must hate her, hate wanting her too. Or could that be faked? Men had different attitudes about sex. What a mess.

Chapter Six

The conversation with Lloyd didn’t go well. Andrea hadn’t expected him to be pleased by her decision to take time off work. She didn’t even mention the word retirement, though she’d been thinking along those lines. She hadn’t liked his continued threats to fly to Texas. The last thing she needed right now was another man in her life. She didn’t know what to do with the one who shared her balcony. The one who’d told her to come to him tonight. The one she’d falsely accused of betraying her.

She’d told herself she shouldn’t go yet she’d put on a sheer red silk teddy after her shower. It didn’t leave much to the imagination even though black lace framed her breasts and thighs. Not her usual sleeping attire. With every movement the silk teased her flesh, teasing her nipples and keeping her in a heightened state of arousal. Or maybe it was just the simmering desire and wild anticipation that kept her aroused. She’d probably go up in flames the instant Noah touched her. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate humiliation? He’d know she’d been thinking about him and wanting him all day.

The house had grown quiet, the night dark. Andrea moved to her balcony doors and looked into the starlit sky. She pulled on a sheer robe that matched her teddy, compared herself to a moth being drawn to flames and opened the door. Neither common sense nor practical arguments could keep her from Noah’s bed.

Barefoot and treading softly, she crossed the balcony to the door of the master bedroom. It stood open, an invitation she didn’t resist. The room was dark except for moonlit shadows so it took a minute for her eyes to adjust.

“Drea.” Noah’s husky voice directed her toward the bed. When she drew closer she could see him much better. His dark form was stretched out on a snowy white sheet, every inch of him gloriously naked. Her pulse kicked into overdrive. As she watched, his body reacted to her arrival with a very satisfying display of arousal. She relaxed a little at the evidence of his desire. A smile spread across her face as she stepped to the edge of the bed and reached for his jutting erection.

Noah reacted swiftly, catching her hand and dragging it up his chest. “If you touch me, I’ll explode,” he warned with a dark edginess in his tone. “I’ve been on the verge all day.”

“I might like that,” she whispered. “I might like that a lot.” She pulled her hand free and shifted from his reach. Then she leaned over his body and lapped at his straining flesh with her tongue, drawing a low, keening moan from deep in his chest. When she took him into her mouth, slowly licking, he shuddered violently. She cupped his soft sac with gentle fingers while her mouth grew more demanding.

The low, animalistic sounds he made urged her to suck harder. He threw his head back against the pillow, his hips straining closer to her mouth as his body stiffened with tension. Andrea savored the knowledge that she could arouse him to such a fever pitch of excitement and used her tongue and teeth to bring him to the peak of pleasure. He cried her name in a gruff plea, leaning forward to grab her head as she brought him to a swift, hot release.

He stifled a shout of satisfaction and collapsed against the bed. A few heartbeats later he grasped her shoulders and dragged her over his chest. She felt the harsh rise and fall of his breathing and the quaking of his big body. He felt hot, sweaty and wonderful. Andrea pressed her cheek against his neck and kissed him softly.

“I guess you can tell I’ve been hot and horny for you all day,” he said in short, panting breaths. “The memory of that kiss kept me so hard I could barely think or walk.”

She smiled and flicked her tongue across his lean jaw and then into his ear. “I don’t mind,” she whispered.

He fingered strands of her hair, brushing them off her face. “When I can catch my breath, I want to see whatever this little number is you’re wearing. It looks fire engine red and feels even better.”

“French silk,” she said, running her tongue across his cheek until she was close enough for a kiss. Noah clutched the back of her head and dragged her mouth onto his, kissing her with a rough, devouring hunger that stole her breath.

While they kissed, he slid his hands over her hips and under the hem of her teddy to cup her buttocks. She moaned into his mouth as he kneaded and caressed and pulled her more deeply into his embrace.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he said on a gasp when the kiss ended. “I never could.” Then he rolled her onto her back, pinning her body with his and dropping his mouth to her breasts. He licked her through the silk until her nipples pearled and her legs thrashed restlessly. Andrea wanted his mouth on her bare flesh. She wiggled and shimmied out of her robe but he stopped her and pressed her onto her back.

“I’ll take care of this,” he promised, using his teeth to oh so slowly peel one shoulder strap down and then the other. As he uncovered each breast, he lavished the nipples with wet kisses and tiny stinging bites that had them puckering and throbbing. Her chest heaved, her hips rocking beneath him as he continued the sensual assault, kissing his way down her belly to the top of her thighs. He nibbled and licked and drove her nearly crazy with desire before sliding back up her body. Already hot and hard again, he spread her thighs and settled his weight between them, plunging deeply inside her and making them one. Andrea locked her legs around his hips.

“Yes!” He buried himself to the hilt. “This is where I wanted to be all day,” he whispered roughly. “This is what I need more than your money or your home.” He trapped her gaze as they lay locked in passion, both breathing erratically, both straining and spiraling out of control. “Why is that so hard to understand?”

She didn’t have a chance to react or respond. Noah began thrusting in and out of her in such a frenzy of desire she couldn’t do anything but ride the wave of erotic pleasure until they both collapsed, replete and exhausted.

Neither of them spoke or moved for a very long time afterward. He rolled to her side as they fought for breath, hearts pounding and limbs trembling. When they finally quieted he left the bed and returned with a damp washcloth. She didn’t say a word or make a move while he tenderly bathed her and slipped the teddy back over her cooling body. He grabbed her robe then scooped her into his arms and carried her back to her own room. After placing her on the bed and pulling a sheet over her, he dropped a kiss on her forehead.

“It’ll be dawn in a few hours and we both need some sleep. There’s no way in hell we’ll get any if we stay together.”

He turned to leave but she caught his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me about Trace and Caroline?”

Tension pulsed between them with the reminder of the old pain and heartache, of her ugly accusations and the denials she’d refused to accept. He looked torn about discussing it.

After taking a long, steadying breath, he said, “I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“And when I asked you if you’d had sex with Caroline. Why didn’t you deny it?”

He sat down heavily on the bed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “I couldn’t because it wouldn’t have been true.”

Her heart stopped and her stomach knotted. “So you were involved with Caroline and me at the same time?”

“Hell no.”

His terse denial helped ease some of the tension gripping her body but she shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand any more now than I did then. Talk to me. Tell me why you didn’t deny it five years ago when I desperately needed to hear it.”

He stared into her eyes. “I didn’t explain because of another promise.”

“To Caroline?”

“Yes.”

“I think maybe death negates some promises,” she argued.

He turned his gaze toward the doors. “I suppose you’re right. I’ve thought about it a lot and I don’t believe she’d want you hurt,” he said, glancing back at her. “We were fourteen when we made that promise. We decided to experiment with sex so we got together one night in the backseat of my mom’s old car. It was the first time for both of us and over in a heartbeat. We were so embarrassed we couldn’t look at each other for a year. We laughed about it later but I never told a soul.”

It was just that simple for him. He’d made and kept a promise. Andrea should have been angry but instead she felt proud of him, his honesty and his honorable nature.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Noah ignored the apology and reached out to cup her breast. In an abrupt change of mood, he gave her a slow smile. “Believe me, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Her voice and expression tightened. She didn’t want to right her wrongs with sex or let him shrug off a long-overdue apology.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you when Caroline died. I know now I made a terrible mistake. I should have known it then but I wasn’t confident enough to see beyond the pain and jealousy.”

He stared into her eyes, never flinching. “You finally learned the truth?”

“Nanna told me about Trace and Caroline. I guess I’m the only one who didn’t know the big secret.” She felt like a stupid fool but ignorance didn’t excuse her behavior and lack of trust.

“I’m glad you learned from someone besides me,” he said, studying her in the dim light. “But what happened between us was never really about Caroline.”

She gave him a confused frown. “What do you mean?”

“You and me, and your leaving.” He spoke to her softly, as though explaining to a child. “Caroline’s death was just the excuse you needed. If it hadn’t happened something else would have triggered your flight. You believed you had to follow in your mom’s footsteps to be a success. Marriage to me would have meant personal failure to you.”

She stiffened at the unexpected accusation. “That’s not true!”

His gaze never wavered as he rose from the bed. “You considered ranch life too average, and thought your social position was a notch above the rest of us.”

“I am not that kind of snob!”

A long, pregnant silence followed her heated declaration. Then, very quietly, Noah said, “Yeah, you always have been.”

The absolute certainty in his tone kept her from responding with more denials. From his point of view she’d been the villain. It would take time to come to terms with that fact. She couldn’t blame anyone but herself for five years of heartache and bitterness.

Sighing heavily, she asked, “So where does that leave us?”

“Right here, right now, in your bed or mine until the passion dies. You made it impossible to have anything else.”

A quiver raced over her at his implacable tone. “Just a long-term sexual relationship?” she asked softly, knowing it was her own fault he couldn’t see a future for them.

“You can turn the place over to me and go back to New York,” he said flatly. “You can stay and fire me or we can keep things the way they are now. You made it clear a marriage proposal from me would be suspect. You’d always doubt my intentions because you’ve never trusted me with anything but your body.”

With that he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him while she stared at the ceiling and did a lot more soul-searching. The only thing she knew for certain was she loved Noah Courtland—wildly, passionately, deathlessly loved him—but he’d never believe it. She didn’t have a clue how to prove it.

* * * * *

Work went smoothly for the rest of the week. The weather pattern changed and daily sunshine dried up the mud. Zack planned to move to the city on Monday so the family decided to spend Sunday lounging around the pool and cooking on the patio.

Andrea didn’t think her thong bikini would be appropriate for the family get-together. Instead she chose a basic turquoise one. It wasn’t much more than a few triangles of fabric held together by gold rings and it didn’t cover much. She wanted to even her tan without adding new tan lines.

If it drove Noah crazy, all the better. They hadn’t made love for days. Even though they worked together daily, he hadn’t made any intimate gestures or suggestions. He hadn’t invited her back to his bed. It made her restless and hungry for his touch yet she hadn’t figured out how to get past the latest glitch in their relationship.

Cheyenne met her in the upstairs hallway wearing a modest white bikini. The sisters left the house, hit the pool deck first and laid claim to a couple of padded lounge chairs. They coated all their exposed skin with suntan oil. Nanna joined them wearing a skirted suit under a terry wrap and carrying a pile of extra towels. She took a seat under an umbrella chair.

“Are you okay to swim?” Andrea asked her.

“My doctor said not to overdo but I might get in the water to cool off a little later.”

“Are you still feeling so weak?”

“Not since I’m resting more and restricting my activities. I miss working with the livestock but I’ve enjoyed learning a few new things.”

“Has Chey introduced you to the Internet and email?” Her laptop had WiFi.

“Yes, and my goodness I had no idea what’s happening in the cyberspace. And I thought television had gotten a little too risqué.”

“Nanna got her first email spam for male enhancement products and accidentally clicked on a porn site,” Chey explained, giggling.

Andrea laughed and Nanette grinned but clucked her tongue in disapproval.

“Speaking of males, think there’s any chance the guys will have teeny-weeny tight trunks?” continued Cheyenne.

They turned at the sound of the men approaching from the direction of the house. Zack, Trace and Noah all wore wide-legged cotton swim shorts.

“Sorry, little sis. Not gonna happen.”

“Just as well,” said Nanette. “We don’t need any blatant displays of manhood.”

Chey let out a long-suffering sigh. Andrea watched her gaze zero in on Trace. For just an instant her sister’s eyes turned stormy with emotion. Then she dropped her lashes to cover her reaction and plopped sunglasses over her eyes.

Andrea’s gaze targeted Noah. His black trunks fit snugly against a slim waist and hard stomach. Her pulse accelerated as she studied the swirling gold hair on his chest that arrowed down his body. She knew at least three photographers who’d give their firstborn to take shots of such a gorgeous male form and even more for nude shots. She couldn’t allow herself to think of nude, aroused photographs.