Bridged by Love (15 page)

“Oh, I wanted you, Riley. Had from the first moment I understood what a woman and a man could do together.” He licked her lips, a slow swipe of his tongue over the seam of her mouth. Her air escaped on a moan, but he didn’t swallow the sound. He eased back enough to gaze into her eyes. “Even before that, I recognized what you were to me.”

“What’s that?” she asked, but again, the answer burned in his glowing blue orbs. Would he voice it and give it life?

“Mine.” He took her mouth on a deep kiss. Not hurried, he explored her as if he’d never kissed her before. She clung to him, following his lead and relishing the emotion she felt twined into his reverent strokes. Much too soon, he broke their kiss. “There’s magic in the circle, Riley. Our pack’s spirit is tied to the Mother Earth as much as it is tied to the alpha and subsequently all of the pack members. I claimed your body that night, ensuring you belonged to me and would fit me like no other female ever would.”

It was why alphas often waited to claim their mates until the full moon, so they could first have sex within the circle. She’d known that, just not the reason behind it.

“You own my body.” He’d said so himself. Many times.

Hands at her waist, he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him, crossing her ankles over his ass.

“Yes, but you own my heart. I gave it to you years before I took your virginity.” He rubbed his thumbs over her hipbones in soothing circles. “And I prayed our pack spirit would have mercy on me and allow me to mate you when the time came.”

“Didn’t you know—”

“That I needed a child?” He nodded. “Yes, but at the time, loving you was more important than filling a role I never wanted in the first place.”

“It still is, Nic.”

He broke their stare and skimmed his open mouth down her neck to the bite he’d left on her shoulder. Her womb clenched, and her breath caught. A swipe of his tongue, and he laved the raised marks, skipping tingles across her skin and tightening her body impossibly more. “And then I matured. The night I shifted I was driven by needs I’d never experienced before. Primal ones, you understand?”

She cradled his head and held him close. The memory of that night had replayed in her head many times. She’d analyzed every nuance of it, looking for what might’ve set him off. For a long while, she’d thought she’d done something wrong, but finally realized she hadn’t. Other than being born the wrong species, that was.

“Your instincts made you change your mind.”

“No, not exactly. My wolf changed it for me. He showed me what life with you would’ve been like because he made it clear he wouldn’t agree to our mating.” He pillowed his cheek against her shoulder. “You growing old with a lover who would outlive you. Hell, I wouldn’t have even been able to marry you. Having a husband who never aged would’ve drawn the human’s notice. We would’ve had to move somewhere and live in secret. I couldn’t have done that to you.”

“So you made the decision to push me away, hoping that by hurting me enough, I’d hate you and find happiness.”

He grabbed her calves and urged her to release him. She uncrossed her ankles and slid down the length of his body. He tugged his sweats up and turned away.

“What else was I supposed to do?” He glanced over his shoulder. “Would you have actually wanted to waste your life on a crazed wolf? Because that’s what’ll happen. If I choose you, I won’t be able to shift for fear my wolf will take over, and I’ll slowly go insane. Our souls might be separate, but they’re linked. We need each other.”

If I choose you.
Present tense, not past. Her heart skipped a beat at the distinction. “But you need me too, don’t you?”

“Yes, and that was the mistake I made four years ago.”

Chapter Seventeen

Nic curled his hands into fists so as not to pull Riley into his arms. She stood before him, a mixture of hurt, affection and desperation on her face. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Had chosen her. He couldn’t. Not yet.

All he had to offer her was the bleak future he’d described. He loved her enough to let her have a chance at a real life with a male who could give her all the things he couldn’t. No matter what she decided, though, he wouldn’t take his place as alpha or claim a shifter mate. He’d follow her into death. It was the years between that were up in the air.

She raised her chin. “The only mistake you made was in thinking you could live a life torn between love and responsibility. You can’t. Doing so will make you weak.” She turned imploring eyes on him. “You’ll be worthless—as an alpha, a mate and a father.”

Nic stared into Riley’s eyes, more confused than he’d ever been at the fact that her words mirrored his own and over the reaction of his wolf. Nic had been struggling to keep it contained all day. It had been edgy and revved up with the approaching moon, but in the face of Riley’s harsh words, it sat on its haunches and listened, ears perked and head cocked as it watched her through Nic’s eyes. He wanted to read into its behavior but knew better.

“Is that really what you see? An unsalvageable male?”

“No, not unsalvageable. Broken.” She stepped closer and laid a hand over his chest, right over his heart. Her touch pushed the shock over his wolf’s reaction aside and redirected it to Riley and the hold she had over him. “There’s only one thing that’ll save you.”

“What’s that?”

“Love.”

“Whose love will save me? Yours?”

She curled her fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants and tugged them off. His cock sprang free. She tossed his pants behind her, ran her fingertips over his hard length and bent closer, her intent clear. He wanted her mouth on his dick too. As soon as she did, however, he’d lose all rational thought. He dropped his hands to her shoulders.

“Well, angel? Is your love going to save me?”

“Yes.”

God, he wanted to demand the words from her, along with her promise to live out her life with him but couldn’t. She had to be sure. “Did you not hear what I said? I can’t mate you, not without my wolf’s permission.”

She dropped to her knees without answering him and skimmed her fingertips up his calves. At his knees, she broke their stare and replaced her fingers with her lips. The first brush of her tongue to his skin, and his dick jerked. He stood still while she kissed her way higher.

“Look at me.” He waited until she peered at him from under her lashes. “Love can’t fix me, not completely. You think to save me, but all you’ll end up with is a male who can’t grow old with you, one who can’t give
you
children, and one whose mind will slowly unravel. I’ll be insanely jealous without any binding tie to you. Today. Tomorrow. Fifty years from now. It won’t matter. You’ll be the only thing holding my broken mind together. Could you live with that? Knowing I won’t be able to function without you?”

A small smile graced her full lips in answer. She glanced from his face to his straining dick. Precome welled at the tip under her focused study. She leaned closer and curled her tongue, capturing the drop. Her eyelashes fluttered closed. A look of pure rapture crossed her face.

“Answer me.” He tightened his grip on her shoulders.

She opened her mouth and sucked him deep, the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat. He groaned. “Riley, if you don’t stop…”

She dragged her mouth off him, and his warning died on his tongue. His dick glistened. So did her lips. The sight reignited his lusts that had dimmed in the face of their intense conversation. He dragged in a breath, the scent of her arousal heavy on the air. It enveloped him, tightening his body.

One hand, she wrapped around his cock. The other, she skimmed over his ass. She held him still and worshipped his dick. He closed his eyes and focused on the swipes of her tongue and the wandering caress of her fingertips. Every touch and lick sensitized him, excited him, made him crazed.

She cupped his balls in her hands, massaging them while licking his dick top to bottom. It was heaven and hell mixed into one. She didn’t linger anywhere but teased him, licking and stroking him.

Her lips left his dick. She skimmed her open mouth higher. At his rib cage, she stilled, her breaths coming quicker. The scent of her arousal filled the air around them. She rocked into him, brushing her arm against his leg, and moaned—a raw, carnal sound that didn’t have anything to do with the attention she was giving his dick.

He popped his eyelids open and was greeted with a sight he’d only ever seen in his dreams.

Eyes closed and lust slackening her features, she stroked her fingers through her cleft. On another low moan, she pushed two into her sex. Her grip on his dick tightened, and she pumped him with rough tugs in time with her thrusts.

“Fucking beautiful.”

She cracked her eyelids and met his gaze with unfocused eyes. A faint blush darkened her cheeks, and she pulled her fingers from her dripping sex.

“Don’t stop, baby.” He dropped to his knees, facing her, and spread his hands over her hips. “I want to see you pleasure yourself.”

She danced her glistening fingertips over his cock. “I’d rather have you stick this inside me.”

He grasped her wrist and directed her hand back between her legs. He straightened two of her fingers and pushed them into her body. A shaky breath fell from her lips. He grinned. “Make yourself come for me. I fantasized every night I was away from you that you were in your bed alone, touching yourself and thinking about me.”

Her intent gaze focused on his face stopped his heart. Jealousy burned in her eyes. It was an emotion he’d never seen from her.

“I did, Nic, but did you?” Her eyes narrowed. “Fall asleep alone thinking about me?”

He cradled the back of her head and pulled her closer until her eyes filled his vision. “Every night, Riley. No other woman shared my bed, nor will any in the future. I vow this to you on my life.” He released her and motioned toward the hand between her legs with a tilt of his chin. “Now, fuck yourself. I want to see you lost to passion.”

She grinned. The jealousy faded. Hunger replaced it. It was all there on her delicate features for him to see.

Legs spread as far as she could while kneeling, she rubbed her cleft. With a single finger, she traced her lower lips before dipping the tip in her opening. A swirl, and she exhaled roughly. She thrust the single digit into her body, added a second, and used both to fuck herself the way he had directed her moments ago. Using her other hand, she grabbed her breast and squeezed. A moan escaped.

Nothing was more beautiful than Riley lost to passion. She worked herself, pumping her fingers into her core and toying with her nipple. All the while, she held his gaze. Desire slackened her expression, and a flush darkened her cheeks. She was gorgeous.

Mine.

He flexed his hands. The need to control and direct her pleasure grew. He wanted her to come apart around his hand, his cock, his tongue. He resisted. He hadn’t lied when he said he’d fantasized about her. Riley masturbating for him was a damn dream come true.

“What do you think about when you touch yourself?”

A lazy smile spread over her face. “You.”

“What about me?”

“You licking me, head to toe, kissing me, eating me out.” She pulled her wet fingers from her body and drew the tips over her breast, circling her nipple. A pinch to the hard bud, and her eyelashes fluttered. “You sucking on my breasts. Making me come with only your mouth.”

He grinned. “You always liked that, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” She skimmed her hand down her stomach, and then lower to rub her clit before finally dragging her knuckles through her wet folds. “You always could do wicked things with your tongue.”

He cupped the heavy weight of her breast. Her smooth, soft flesh filled his palm. Her breasts had gotten bigger in the few years he’d been gone. She had a woman’s body, one he’d worship for as long as she let him. If the look in her eyes matched her wants, he’d get to enjoy every aspect of her life in all its phases.

Tomorrow, he’d demand an answer. Tonight, he’d enjoy her, knowing she loved him enough to fight for him. He brought her breast to his mouth and brushed his lips over the tip. Her breath caught. He eased back. “Keep fucking yourself, or I’m not doing anything with my mouth.”

“Demanding man.” She grasped his wrist, pulling his arm closer. “Feel me while I touch myself.”

He traced a path from her knee to her groin. Arousal slickened her sex, coating her knuckles, her thighs, her lower lips. He covered two of her fingers with his and directed her, stroking her cleft as she had done. More arousal flowed to coat their hands. He adjusted his hold so only her pointer and middle finger teased her folds, then pushed them into her opening on a rough thrust.

“Do it, baby. Make yourself hot. Get your body ready for me.”

She pumped into herself with full deep strokes. “You plan to fuck me, then?”

“Fuck you, make love to you, remind you why I’m the male you fantasize about.” He lowered his head to her breast and licked. The taste of her desire flooded his senses. Rich, sweet and addicting—it was the essence he’d always gorged himself on. “Own you. I want to own you.”

She held his head to her breast. “You already do.”

He wanted to respond, but she rocked over her hand and a low moan crawled up her throat. The sound and the feel of her hard nipple on his tongue captured his focus. He caught the hard point between his teeth and tugged, knowing she’d offer up another raw groan. She didn’t disappoint. His name gasped in her throaty voice whipped through him. He wanted to be inside her and feel her greedy sex milking him.

Soon. First, I need to watch her come.
With his flattened tongue, he licked her nipple, once, twice; then he abandoned the tempting bud. He kissed his way lower, following the taste of her arousal she’d spread over her skin. Needing to see her fingers sliding through her folds, he settled his hands at her waist and urged her to stand, bringing her beautiful sex eye level.

She swayed, but he steadied her, tightening his grip. Her fingers glistened. Her thrusts quickened. She grabbed his hair with her free hand and tugged.

“Nic”—she trembled, her grip on his strands tightening—“I’m coming.”

Barely audible, her words captured his attention. He glanced from her prodding fingers to her face. Eyes closed and nostrils flaring on her pants, she moaned his name while her legs trembled. She kept thrusting her fingers into her body, over and over, until she whimpered.

His control snapped. He stood, pulled her into his arms, and covered her mouth with his. She clutched him, her heart still pounding hard against his chest. He yanked her closer and growled, needing more than she could give him.

She went limp in his arms, sighing into his mouth. It was a sign of her acceptance, her submission and her love. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to be one with her in body and soul. Here in her arms, he felt right, not broken or worthless. She soothed him. It was only when he left her that he felt lost.

Why couldn’t his wolf see that too?

He opened his soul to the animal and showed his baser half what Riley was to him, what she could be to
them
—a companion, a friend and a reason to live. The lust he held for Riley meant nothing to his wolf. It wouldn’t care about Nic’s carnal needs.

His wolf watched, felt and experienced everything Nic did, but it didn’t respond, not in acceptance or denial. He wanted to force a reaction from his animal, but Riley’s wandering hands eased his frustration.

She needed him. Her demand came through with every rough stroke of her nails on his ass.

He growled and took her mouth hard, dominating her. Rough, deep strokes of his tongue with hers tore more low sounds from her throat. They enflamed him and encouraged him. He ran his hands down her back, pulling her closer until not an inch separated them. The heat of her groin against his stomach taunted him. He wanted his dick cradled in her wet lower lips, but he needed the taste of Riley on his tongue more.

He drank his fill of her mouth, licking her teeth, cheeks and tongue to savor her flavor. The scent of her desire grew stronger. No longer was he content to explore her mouth. He hungered for the sweet arousal she’d spilled with her orgasm.

Hands at her waist, he lifted her and tossed her onto the bed behind them. She bounced, a gasp falling from her lips. He followed her down. A hand on each of her thighs, he spread her legs, exposing her moist center. Her cleft glistened. It drew him, an addiction he needed to meet. He shoved her legs farther apart, tearing another squeak from her throat. There was no need to ask if she was okay. She curled her hand around the back of his head and pulled him closer.

“Nic.”

Only his name, but he heard the demand in her voice. For a second, he thought to tease her. Maybe ask where she wanted his mouth, or pick up on his earlier leading question and ask if she were faking her excitement, but he didn’t bother trying to form words. Lapping up her spilled cream was all he cared about.

He thrust the tip of his tongue into her opening, dragging more of her essence forth and drinking of her. She tasted like his woman.
Heaven.
He bent his head and dragged his flattened tongue through her folds, bottom to top, savoring every drop.

A tug on his damp hair, and she pulled him closer, so his nose pushed into her clit. “Oh God, I need to come.”

He caught the bundle of nerves between his teeth but didn’t send her over. He waited and listened, knowing the anticipation would heighten her excitement. He wanted her to not just come, but careen into ecstasy for him. She tensed, her pants turning into whimpers the longer he held her pleasure out of reach.

Finally, her breath hitched, and she gave him what he sought. “Please, Nic.”

He tugged on her clit and watched her drop off the edge. Mouth open on a low moan, she writhed under him. Wetness coated his chin, proof of how aroused she’d gotten from his teasing. Part of him wanted to dip his head and get drunk on her, making her come again and again until she couldn’t move. He ignored the impulse and embraced another.