Bridge of Hope (36 page)

I decided to throw caution to the wind and send Mallory yet another message through music. It was a last-ditch attempt to make her rethink her decision and it was admittedly a crappy thing to do when Kate was still there, but I was past the point of caring. Announcing the next song as a smoochy number, I encouraged the crowd to pair off in their ghoulish couples.

I have to say that the romance of the moment was somewhat killed by the amount of fake blood in the room and I had to fight to keep a straight face as I sang “Wherever You Will Go” by The Calling. I closed my eyes and imagined the look I
wanted
to see on Mallory’s face. In my dream world she would be standing there with tears in her eyes, her hands over her mouth as she realised she
was
in love with me after all. It was easier with my eyes closed and I knew that when I opened them she would simply be serving yet another Frankenstein or werewolf a pint of beer.

At the end of the night I couldn’t see Kate. I guessed she had left after all and I resolved to send her a text to check she got home okay. I doubted she would answer a call from me, so there was no point in trying that.

I was about to go speak to Mallory when I was surrounded by a group of young women. There was a combination of slutty witches, pumpkins, and axe-wielding, blood-spattered ghouls in skimpy costumes. There was a whole lot of cleavage on show and they were brandishing camera phones and asking for photos with me. It was hilarious really, but I seemed to have acquired groupies.

I packed away my gear and waved to Mallory as she left. I would have to catch up with her at work on Tuesday, maybe. Monday was going to be a busy one. I had some work to do on
Little Blue
before the really bad weather hit.

After I arrived home I went to bed, wishing Mallory were there with me. Sometime later I remembered I should text Kate. I received a brief and to-the-point reply letting me know she was fine, and so I went back to bed, still alone and feeling like a complete shit. But where was the change in that?

Chapter Forty-Seven

November 2011

A couple of days later the weather began to turn nasty. It was the beginning of November; torrential rain and storms were a regular occurrence, making any outside work unpleasant and cold. Tuesday afternoon wasn’t bad to start
with, and I set out to see Tom Carrick Snr in the village about fixing his kitchen sink. When I arrived, their two sons were out somewhere and so Annie was making the most of the fact and cleaning their typical teenage boy’s bedrooms.

Every so often she brought down another pile of dirty dishes, mumbling under her breath that she was raising animals. It made me chuckle; I remembered my mum saying the same about me and my brothers. Eventually, when I switched the water back on briefly, Annie made me a cup of coffee—the proper stuff—and I turned the water off once again so that I could continue work changing the seized nuts and making the thing fully functional again.

It was a longer job than anticipated and at around half four I heard Tom on the phone sounding panicked. I placed my empty cup in the newly fixed sink and walked to the door to find him pacing around the lounge and speaking loudly into the phone.

“I can’t believe you went out there when I said the weather was going to turn, Tom. I’m going to ring the coastguard. Hang on, Son. We’ll get to you somehow. Just… hang on.”

Once he’d ended his call his face was white as alabaster and he was shaking violently. Annie was standing beside him too, gripping his arm and waiting for his explanation. The sky suddenly lit up outside and the subsequent clap of thunder shook the foundations of the house, making us all jump.

“What on earth has happened, Tom?” Annie asked with a wavering voice.

“Tom Junior and James are out on their dinghy, Annie. They’re in trouble and they’ve lost their paddles. Thank the Lord they got a mobile signal. I need to ring the coastguard.”

A look of confusion washed over Annie’s pale features and she gripped the wall for support. “But… they can’t be. You told them not to go.”

“I know darling, I know. But they’re teenage boys who think they’re invincible. We just need to get them home safe.”

Shit, no!
I had to act fast. I was well aware that my boat still needed essential repairs, but time was of the essence so I decided it would have to do. Kids’ lives were at risk. “Right, I’m off to take
Little Blue
out. Did they leave from the marina, Tom?”

He nodded. “Aye, Greg. Oh, God, if anything happens to them—” He gripped his greying hair.

“No, don’t think that way. I’ll get out there. You call the coastguard and wait here for news.”

“Please be careful, Greg,” Annie called after me as I bolted out to the Landy. I drove as fast as I could to the marina through the sheet of rain that battered my windscreen.

By the time I reached
Little Blue
the torrent was hammering down even harder and I was soaked to the skin. I jumped on board, untied the line on the mooring, and started the engine.

The water was choppy and the boat was tossed around like a ragdoll as I made my way out into open water past the jagged rocks that edged the small harbour. My damned bucket was thrown overboard by the bouncing and crashing of the boat as a fifteen-foot wave hit. The sky was almost black except for the flashes of lightning that lit up the area like the midday sun. Those poor lads were out there somewhere, terrified, soaking wet, and freezing cold. My determination to find them alive drove me forward.

I caught sight of their orange dinghy about half a mile off shore. How the hell they had drifted out there I didn’t know, but it scared the hell out of me watching them being thrown over every wave that hit. My heart drummed at my ribcage and my pulse quickened.
Little Blue
wasn’t equipped for rough seas, especially in her current condition. And I had no idea if I would even get out there, but I had to try.

I
had
to.

I pushed on ahead going as fast as I possibly could, but the waters were so very rough and the boat was beginning to take in water. I had nothing with me to bail it out and so I had no other choice but to forge ahead. Lightning flashed again, striking a distant point, and I swiped the rain from my face, scrunching my eyes to try and make out the dinghy once again. I’d lost sight of it and dread washed over me.

After what felt like hours but was probably more like minutes, I could hear the coastguard’s helicopter overhead, but I couldn’t make much out thanks to the rain battering my face and body. Suddenly a huge wave crashed into the boat and we hit a rock to the starboard side. I was thrown into the sea, managing to suck in a deep breath before I was pulled under. I had no idea which way was up and I flailed my arms, desperately trying to make it to the surface before my lungs emptied. Filled with panic, I broke into the cold night air and gasped, trying my best to pull much-needed oxygen into my lungs. I grappled for the hull of the boat and felt a splinter pierce my skin. The wet wood was slimy and slipped under my hands, making holding on even more difficult. I wouldn’t be able to hold on for long.

Lightning lit up the heavens and the words
Little Blue
were illuminated for a split second before I was thrown into darkness once again.

I fought to clamber back on board but
Little Blue
capsized with the next wave, pulling me under a second time. I opened my eyes and the freezing-cold water stung like a thousand needles. The water was black and I could see nothing at all. I moved my arms frantically through the water as my lungs burned, hoping once more that I was going in the right direction. Once again I made it to the surface and gasped for air but pulled in water as well this time. I began to choke and tried to cough out the saltwater I’d inhaled. My throat stung and the pain in my lungs was excruciating.

Grasping the sharp pieces of wood that were floating on the surface, I frantically looked around again. As I clung on I thought about those poor boys. I was a grown man, but they were youngsters with their whole lives ahead of them. Okay, I’d made enough mistakes for ten men, but at least I’d had the opportunity to live and to love. My heart ached at the thought of my rescue attempt failing. Once again I’d let down someone I cared about. And now I’d be lost at sea and people would have to deal with my mistakes and my failings… as they always did. Anger at my own weakness tugged at me and I gripped what was left of
Little Blue
harder until more splinters pierced my skin and I could see trails of blood, garish in the flickers of lightning, seeping from the puncture wounds.

I thought of Mallory, back at the pub, her blue eyes sparkling as she served the customers, making them feel important in that special way she had. They all loved her just like I did. What was there not to love? She would be
distraught
when she heard I’d gone. I know we were nothing more than friends, but I could imagine her heart breaking all over again like it did when she lost Sam. How could I be so stupid? Why did I have to play the hero? I should’ve let the
real
heroes do their job, but instead I went gung-ho as I always do and I was facing the prospect of losing my life.

Images of Mallory’s beautiful face flashed through my mind as I imagined her crying over my death. I didn’t want
to put her through that. She didn’t deserve to go through that
again
. Not for
me
. I wasn’t worth it. And I had caused her so much pain as it was. But in a small way I wanted her to think of me as a hero.
Her
hero. I’d wanted to save
her
from the beginning but instead she’d saved
me
. And now I was going to die without being able to say thank you.

Without seeing her face again.

Without holding her again.

An angry cry ripped from my chest and my heart shattered as another wave crashed into me and
Little Blue
, tossing us around like feathers on a breeze. Bits of wood flew through the air and hit me on my head, face and arms. My legs were beginning to go numb where they were submerged under the icy torrent.

As I waited there and thought about what could have been, my eyes blurred. Fear wasn’t something I’d ever really felt before. But now I was scared. Not about dying but about never getting the chance to say sorry to Mallory properly. I didn’t want to be lost at sea, broken apart like an old boat. I wanted to see her again. I wanted the possibility of trying to convince her to forgive me. The last thing I wanted was to make her cry again. But I knew she would. I knew that, in spite of what we’d been through, she would grieve all over again, and it would be for me this time.

An ominous roar rushed toward me. When I looked up, a wall of black water was looming above me. There was nothing I could do except snatch a breath before the sea crashed around me, tearing me away from the boat and tossing and tumbling me in its depths until I couldn’t hold my breath any longer.

Chapter Forty-Eight

My eyelids fluttered open and my head hurt like hell. Where the hell was I? I wasn’t in the water anymore. Was I dead? Confusion clouded my mind and I called out, “Mallory.” But when my voice left my body it was nothing more than a strangled whisper.

I must have drifted off because the next time I opened my eyes there was a woman hovering over me. I tried to touch her face, but I couldn’t raise my hand. I was so very weak. “Mallory… Mallory,” I whispered again.

“Who’s Mallory, love? Can we call her for you?”

“Mallory…” Everything went black once again.

~~~

I had no idea how much time had passed or whether I was in fact awake at the time, but I heard voices. My eyes wouldn’t open and everything echoed as if I were at the end of a very long tunnel. Maybe I was dreaming? Maybe I
was
dead? The cruelty of my imagination ripped at my heart as I heard her voice in my head.

“Greg, I want you to know that I’m sorry for how I reacted when you told me about Alice. You said you don’t love her and I should’ve accepted that. It doesn’t matter that you’re still married if you don’t love her. It’s just a piece of paper that can be dealt with… You said you love me. I should have just been happy and now I’m scared I’m going to lose you, too. You need to get better, Greg. You need to come home.”

The voice faded, and when I opened my eyes again, I was standing on the bridge over the Atlantic at night. The crescent moon was high in the sky and the stars dotted the dark canvas around it like tiny jewels. Glancing to my left, I gazed into the sparkling eyes of my true love.

She leaned in and stroked my hair. Her touch was soft and I felt myself relaxing as I gazed at her. God, she was beautiful. “It’s strange how it’s taken something like this to kick me up the arse and make me realise exactly how I feel. I was intent on talking things through with you tonight to see if we could get past what happened between us. But when I found out that you had gone missing, I thought through everything we’ve been through. The arguments, the kisses, the laughs. And it dawned on me. Nothing else matters.”