Bridesmaid Lotto (28 page)

I just stared at her.

“Thank you,” Mattie said for me since I couldn’t find the words.

“Uh, yeah. Thank you.”

She walked away giggling a little and shaking her head. “Squeaking farts. Priceless,” she said to no one in particular.

Mattie held up his latte. “To my friend and new toast of the city, Josephine McMaster.”

“And to you, my dearest friend, for giving me the kick in the ass I needed to get my sorry butt out of my apartment and into the real world. Without you, I’d still be wallowing instead of being praised by these lovely people,” I said.

We touched our paper cups together in a mock toast.

Back at my apartment, I had a message on my machine from the job placement company.

“Miss McMaster, could you please give me a call as soon as you can, a position just opened up that you might be uniquely qualified for,” it said.

“Wow, that was fast,” Mattie said.

“Oh man, I’m not ready yet. I don’t have my paperwork ready, and what about the apartment?”

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. But at least call and see what it is,” Mattie said.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

“Yes, Miss McMaster,” the lady said. I could hear her shuffling papers in the background. “Here we are. Yes, we thought that this position might be just the thing for you. I have to admit, we don’t get a lot of writers.” She cleared her throat, “The client is in England.”

Hmm. England, I thought. It’s not Rome, but I supposed it would do. I could probably sneak away to Italy or Greece on a long weekend or something.

“This client for now wishes to remain anonymous. All I can tell you is that it is a very famous person and they have been contracted for an autobiography. The job is a ghostwriter for the book.”

“Wow, a book. I’ve never done a whole book before,” I said.

“That’s fine. The celebrity in question has taken a look at your work and has approved you. And with your recent experience with the press, you are actually uniquely qualified to write about that sort of experience.”

“Wow, who’d have thought that would end up being a qualification?”

“Now of course you will not be able to be seen at all with the celebrity. You will have to remain incognito at all times, especially considering your own celebrity status, so that no scandals will surface. But other than in public, you will have full access to the celebrity.”

“Wow, that sounds really interesting,” I said. The prospect of doing a whole book scared me to death, but it also excited me. I was getting burned out doing all that boring text for business magazines and ad campaigns. This had to be more fun than that. “But, um, I don’t have all my paperwork ready.”

“Don’t worry Miss McMaster, we will help you take care of all of that. We’ll speed it through all the proper channels. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the job is expected to last three months and, let’s see, let me just check the salary for you…” She shuffled some more papers and then mentioned a figure that equaled an entire year’s salary at my old job.

“I accept,” I said quickly. I hoped I didn’t sound like I was too eager.

Mattie looked as though he was about to wet himself in anticipation of finding out what was going on.

“Wonderful. I’ll send the paperwork to your home right away. Just return it to us overnight Fed Ex, and we’ll be all set.”

“Thank you so much,” I said and hung up.

“What? What!” Mattie said, bouncing up and down a little.

“Holy crap Mattie, life a little dull these days?”

“Please, I’ve been living vicariously through you for months already. There’s nothing going on in my life.”

“What about Mr. Gary?” I asked raising one eyebrow.

He immediately broke eye contact and began fiddling with one of the rings on his fingers.

“Oh my God! Are you blushing? Mattie, I’ve never seen you blush before,” I said and gasped. “You really like him, don’t you?”

Mattie cleared his throat. “Maybe,” he said in the quietest voice possible.

“Aw, my Mattie’s in love,” I teased him.

“Shut up.”

“So, are you going to call him?”

Mattie shrugged. “I was thinking maybe he’d call me.”

I gasped. “Mattie, you always make the first move! What’s up?”

“I guess I might be a little…” He cleared his throat. “Nervous or something.”

“Really? Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never liked someone this much so soon before. I’m afraid he won’t feel the same. I’m not sure I’m ready for it to be over.”

“Mattie, it hasn’t even begun yet. And besides, I was talking to him about you, and he totally seemed interested. Not to mention the whole love at first site googlie eyes thing you two have going on every time you’re near each other.”

“I thought that was just me.”

“Nope. He was totally doing it too. Come on. Promise me you’re going to call him.”

“Okay, okay, I promise. But not with you sitting right there beside me. I must have privacy. Oh God, I feel like I’m going to barf.”

“Oh yeah, you’re totally in love.”

“Being in love feels like you’re going to barf?”

“Totally,” I said.

“Okay, so if I’m going to call Gary, are you going to call Jake?”

“Good God, no!”

“What? Why not?”

“Well, first of all he’s never given me his number.”

“I’m sure that’s just an oversight,” Mattie said.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. Plus, the whole Disaster Diary thing. I imagine he’s already embarrassed that he went out with me. And he even has an easy out. He can just say it was the whole contest thing.”

“Well if he does, then I hate him. And he’s no good for you anyway,” Mattie said. “Ooh, speaking of our favorite celeb and hopefully not our soon to be least favorite celeb, Entertainment News is coming on right away.”

“Aw man, do we have to?” I said.

“You’re not still worried about people’s reaction to the paper are you? Even after meeting your fans earlier?”

“Uh, yeah. They were just regular people like you and me. I’m sure the celebrity world will look down their noses at me. I mean seriously, did you read some of that stuff I had in there?”

Mattie gave me a little smack on my hand and grabbed the remote off the coffee table.

“And today, reaction on the Bridesmaid who made front page entertainment news,” the reporter said.

“Aw man, I’m the lead story on this too?”

“You are hot stuff,” Mattie said.

The story was basically ‘Entertainment News’ asking every celebrity they came across what their thoughts were on ‘The Bridesmaid Scandal.’ And if they hadn’t seen the paper, well ‘Entertainment News’ was quick to hand them a copy.

There were several shots of famous people howling with laughter. And then something strange happened. A couple of the starts admitted that similar things had once happened to them. Some of them said I was really funny, but it sounded like they meant it in a good way. There were a few more comments about being brave. They even showed a quick clip of Mattie and I getting into the taxi before the movie.

“Hey, look at that,” Mattie said. “I’m on TV.” He winked at me.

“And you look marvelous,” I said. “Actually, I look marvelous too.” It continued to amaze me how good of a stylist Mattie really was. He knew exactly what kind of outfit absolutely every situation needed. Even an ‘I’ve just had the most humiliating thing in the world happen to me and I want to look like it doesn’t bother me’ situation.

“Well, not as marvelous as me,” Mattie said with a smile.

I elbowed him.

The final part to the story was a camera very much in Jake’s face. He was looking a little stunned.

“Jake, you’ve been seen out a few times with Bridesmaid Josie McMaster, and were even seen yesterday morning leaving her apartment. What is your take on the McMaster the Disaster scandal?”

“What?” He looked genuinely confused.

“Oh God, he doesn’t know.”

The reporter shoved a copy of the paper in his face.

“He does now,” Mattie said.

“Shit,” I whispered.

He glanced at the headline. “I’m sorry, I don’t have time right now, I’m running late.” He smiled at the camera and then he was off, paper still in his hand.

“Shit! He took it with him!” I yelled.

“He was bound to find out sometime,” Mattie said.

“That did not look like a good reaction,” I said. “He looked totally annoyed.”

“Maybe he really was just in a hurry,” Mattie said.

His cell phone started ringing. “Hello?” Suddenly Mattie started making flailing motions all over the place. Judging by his reaction, I guessed it must have been Gary on the other end. He rushed down the hall, apparently to get away from my prying ears.

~ 21 ~

“Okay, I talked to Gary, now you have to talk to Jake,” Mattie said, coming back into the living room.

“What? Are you nuts? He called you. That totally doesn’t count.”

He gasped and put his hand on his hip. “It totally does so.”

“And even if it did, how do you suppose I would talk to him anyway? Remember, I don’t have his number.”

“Email him.”

I sighed. “Mattie, don’t you think there’s a reason that I don’t have his number? He’s had about a million chances to give it to me, and he hasn’t.”

“Email him,” he said more urgently this time.

“Why? What’s the difference? I’m leaving anyway.”

“Oh please, he’s Jake Hall. It doesn’t matter where you live. He has the money to go where ever. Just email him.”

I finally opened my laptop, hoping that I could somehow distract Mattie before I actually had to send the email. My mind was racing, trying to come up with something to get him thinking about something else. Then I saw it.
[email protected]
.

“It looks like he sent something to me.”

“Open it!” Mattie yelled as frantically as if he’d said the word earthquake instead.

I looked at him. “Do you mind giving a girl a minute? Geez Mattie, I’m a little nervous here, you know.”

“Sorry,” he said and pretended to busy himself, shuffling things around on my table. But I knew the waiting was killing him.

I took a deep breath and clicked on the message.

Hey Josie,

The news guys gave me a copy of the paper. I am so, so sorry that all this has happened to you. I feel completely responsible. If it hadn’t been for all this stupid Bridesmaid stuff, you’d still be happily at your job, and happily unknown to the general public.

But, I do think that your Diary stuff was really funny. Honestly, it made me like you even more. And I already liked you a lot.

Anyway, if you’re up to it, please give me a call. I’d love to talk to you. But I’d understand if you don’t want to, since I pretty much ruined your life.

Jake.

He left his phone number at the bottom of the email.

“Aw, see? He still loves you. He thinks it’s his fault.” I hadn’t even realized that Mattie had been reading over my shoulder. “And look, there you go. His phone number.”

I nodded. I couldn’t quite believe Jake was blaming himself for the whole mess. I certainly didn’t think it was his fault. My mother’s? Maybe. Calla’s? Maybe. Mine? Yeah, a definite maybe. But not Jake’s. Definitely not Jake’s.

I had to call him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life,” I said.

“I know. I finally realize why people are so nervous to call people now. Now that I’ve found someone that actually matters to me.”

I was nodding. “What if I make an ass of myself?”

“More than the Disaster Diary?” he asked.

I shoved him. Harder than I should have. I think there was some residual adrenaline flowing and I hadn’t realized my own strength. He fell back, luckily onto the couch.

He gave me a look resembling a cross between amusement and anger.

“Oops, sorry,” I said.

He just shook his head a little. “Would you please just call him already?” he finally said.

“Yeah, okay, okay. I’m calling.”

I started dialing the number slowly. My heart started racing faster. I could almost hear the blood flowing through my ears. I took a deep breath and hit the final number. It started to ring.

Oh God, please don’t pick up, I thought to myself. I really wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t know if I was ready. But would I ever be ready?

“Hello?”

Crap.

“Um, hi. It’s Josie.”

“Oh thank God, are you okay?”