BRIAN (The Callahans Book 1) (5 page)

“She was there, in the house, when Mom got sick, but you didn’t say anything to her. She and Kevin felt like you left them out of everything, that you took away Mom’s last good days. She’s pissed.”

“That was her excuse for leaving for college so quickly after graduation. But that was almost five years ago. Is she never going to forgive me?”

Killian shrugged. “I know it was Mom’s idea. Sean and Ian know it, too. But the others? Kyle and Kevin and Stacy? They’re still pretty pissed. They think you kept the truth from them because you didn’t think they could handle it.”

“That’s not true. She simply didn’t want them to watch her suffer longer than they had to.”

“You’ve got to talk to them about it.”

Once again, I thought that I should probably make a trip to New York one of my priorities, but then my phone buzzed, and it was time to get to work.

Cassidy

Brian handed me his cell phone, and I felt dirty. I felt like he’d just handed me the keys to his car and asked me to steal it. Like I’d just stolen the numbers to his bank account.

If only he knew…

I took a seat, guilt swallowing me whole when I realized that no one could see what I was doing from my place against the wall. They were focused on one another around the conference table. Only the other assistants were anywhere near me, and they were all busy texting on their phones or ready on their iPads.

I pulled up his contacts list and my heart sank as I realized there were dozens of names here, not just his kids’ names, but business contacts and friends from the old neighborhood. I was a little surprised to recognize some of the names. Jack McGuire, obviously was one. I met Jack once, long ago, when he showed up at Brian’s rented room while I was there. We shared a bottle of good Irish whiskey together, the three of us, and he told me stories about when Brian was young. It was a good evening until Jack let it slip that Brian was married. Not just married, but married with a son and another on the way. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my lover of three months was married.

I was not a happy girl.

I recognized a few other names, too, guys he told me he grew up with. I was a little surprised to see he was still friends with those guys. Or maybe I was just surprised that he’d introduced me to people who really were his friends.

I’d gone over our relationship again and again over the years, and I became less and less sure that he’d been honest with me at any point, so this evidence that there was some honesty in our relationship was almost shocking.

I made a copy of his address book and sent it to my phone. Then I sent it in a text to the men controlling my every movement. A second later, they responded with a terse message:

More will be required.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I’d done everything they’d requested of me, yet they continued to ask for more. What did they want me to do? Was I supposed to commit some sort of crime? Was I supposed to hurt Brian? I wouldn’t do that. At least…I wasn’t sure what I was capable of. All I knew was that I wanted this nightmare to end.

We need names of those closest to him.

But I’d given them the names of his children. Who could be closer to him than his kids?

We need names of his associates.

I’d just uploaded every name in his address book on his phone. Where was I supposed to get more?

I didn’t know what to do.

“You seemed distracted during the meeting. Did you not understand what was happening?” Brian asked me a while later, as we made our way to the elevator and headed for the next meeting.

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m still learning the ropes.”

He touched my arm to lead me onto the elevator, and I wanted to pull away. I didn’t want his hands on me, not now, not after everything that had happened. Never mind the fact that I’d dreamt of having his hands on me again for years after I left Boston. He chose Abigail. He chose his life here. He wasn’t mine now, if he’d ever been.

“We’ll have lunch after this next meeting, and I can answer any questions you have.”

“Thank you.”

He was being generous. I should have been grateful, but I wanted nothing more but to get out of there. I wanted to go back to Austin and never leave again.

But I couldn’t. I was stuck until they had what they wanted.

I glanced at Brian, and I realized one thing about myself that was a little surprising. I’d do anything for my daughter. Anything.

Brian

I found myself staring at Cassidy. It was just so…odd. I never thought I’d see her again.

She’d been here a week now, yet I couldn’t wrap my mind around the situation. She was a hard worker. She had my office in good order in less than a day. And she was handy during meetings—except that first one—always ahead of the game with research materials I might need or other information she could easily pass to me via paperwork or a quick message on the iPad she’d taught me how to use. I was actually stepping deeper into the twenty-first century. That was amazing enough on its own.

It was just…every time I looked at her, my hands itched to touch her. I had to remind myself that more than twenty years had passed since our last touch and she was no longer mine to touch. I’d chosen Abigail all those years ago.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you knew you were married when we met.”

“I did. But I didn’t expect to feel this way about you.”

I could still see her face crumble, still feel her tears on my shoulder. She let me hold her, but not for long. She pulled away and ran from my little rented room. I watched, my heart screaming for me to go after her. But I didn’t. I knew where I belonged. And I knew Cassidy deserved more than what I could give her.

How could one man love two such very different women? Abigail was down-to-earth, a loving, devoted wife and mother. Cassidy was passionate, innocent yet so worldly that I never knew what might come out of her mouth next. So different, but both so beautiful, so loving, so the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But I had to make a choice. I had to stop pretending I was the kind of man who could play that sort of game. Letting Cassidy go was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I did it. She was gone from my life, and I had a wonderful twenty-five years with Abigail. And now she was back and my head—my heart—was so confused I couldn’t think straight.

“I can’t believe you hired her,” Jack told me one night over tumblers of whiskey.

“What was I supposed to do? She needed a job and I needed an assistant.”

“But your ex-lover? The girl you couldn’t get out of your head for the longest time, even after you went back to Abigail?” Jack regarded me over his tumbler. “That’s a mistake, man. She’s under your skin.”

“She
was
under my skin, but that was years ago.”

Jack shook his head, a slow smile creeping over his face. “That’s what you tell yourself. But the truth is, once a woman gets under your skin, there’s no getting her out again.”

“Yeah? How would you know? You’ve been married three times.”

Jack flipped his hand as though shooing a fly away. “Marriage isn’t love, Brian. You were in love with Cassidy—and Abigail. And that doesn’t just go away.”

“You’ve never been in love.”

“I was. Once. But that was a long time ago. And let me tell you, if she showed up at that door,” he said, gesturing to the door of his office, “I would send her away before I said hello. I don’t need that kind of distraction. No one does, but especially not in this business.”

“I’m not in the business anymore,” I told him, standing.

“Don’t fool yourself, man. As long as you’re partners with me, as long as you and your boys provide security for me and my guys, you’re in this business.”

I dismissed his words when I left his office, but they kept coming back to me at the oddest moments. Like now, as I watched Cassidy take notes in shorthand, her delicate hand wrapped around that pen like it was a precious jewel or something.

“I’ll go type this up,” she said, as she finished, laying her pad in her lap and raising those beautiful blue eyes to my face. “Is there anything I can do for you tonight?”

What a loaded question!

I just shook my head and watched her, as she gracefully stood and walked toward the door. She had just laid her hand on the knob when the door burst open.

“Your secretary wasn’t at her desk…”

Rachel paused just inside the doorway, her eyes moving slowly over Cassidy as she caught herself, the words dying mid-sentence on her lips. I hadn’t been expecting Rachel. It was an awkward moment, uncomfortable. Cassidy glanced back at me, and that made Rachel look at me. There was something of a smile twisting Rachel’s lips, but Cassidy simply looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here.

“Rachel, love…”

I walked toward her, my hands outstretched. She came to me like an obedient pet, curling up against me in a most suggestive way. Her hand actually brushed against the front of my pants as she pressed her tight body up against mine, offering a kiss that was more than just a greeting. I might have blushed if I were still capable of that sort of humility.

Cassidy cleared her throat. “I’ll just—”

“You must be the new assistant,” Rachel said, stepping toward her with one hand outstretched, the other wrapped around my tie, tugging me forward with her. “Brian mentioned he’d finally found a new girl to replace the last one. She was such a prude. I hope you aren’t offended by a little PDA.”

Cassidy’s eyebrows rose. “PDA?”

“Public displays of affection. Turns out the last girl was quite offended when she overheard Brian and I….well, you know,” Rachel said, glancing back at me with that flirty smile she often pulled out when she wanted to get her way about something. “You know how it is with a new romance. You can’t keep your hands off of each other.” To punctuate her words, she turned into me and ran her lips down over my throat.

Where did I lose control?

“I’ll try not to be offended,” Cassidy said, just before she stepped through the door and pulled it closed behind her.

“What the hell was that?” I asked, pushing Rachel back so that I could see her face. “This is my place of business. You know that, right?”

“Of course. I just…” She shrugged. “So, maybe I’m a little jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Of the fact that you once slept with her.” She glanced at the door, as though Cassidy were still standing there. “She’s pretty. I didn’t expect her to be so pretty.”

“You’re jealous?”

Rachel shrugged, her long, dark hair falling into her face. “Maybe a little.”

I laughed, not because I found the situation funny but because I was shocked that she would be jealous. She was the one who made it clear that this was not a committed relationship—even though we’d spent more nights together over the last several weeks than apart. She looked up at me, a dark cloud moving over her eyes.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not.”

I slipped my hands over her face and lifted her chin, kissing her with all the pent up emotion that’d been following me around all day. I wanted to touch her and to feel her touch me. I wanted to forget I was a fifty-year-old man with six kids and a past that still haunted me. I wanted to be nothing and everything, to love her and pretend that it was enough for both of us.

She moved into my arms and pressed her body tight against me. I still couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the idea that such a beautiful, young woman wanted me. But I was going to enjoy it for as long as she did want me.

I took her hand and led the way out of the building, unaware of Cassidy watching us from her office. Or of the text she sent as we left.

***

“They put you on the cover.”

I looked up from my bran flakes—a habit Abigail started me on that I actually enjoyed—and found myself looking at a glossy reprint of a photograph Killian’s department used for the press. It was nearly fifteen years old, reminding me of how much more hair I had all those years ago.

“You couldn’t find a better picture?”

“You wouldn’t agree to a time for the photoshoot. We had to do the best we could.”

I took the magazine Rachel was offering and leafed through it, finding the story with my name blazing in the headline.

“MCorp CEO Brian Callahan Does It Old School.”

It was actually more of a fluff piece than I’d thought someone as intelligent as Rachel might do. I read through the first part of it, reading about myself in the third person like some sort of stuck-up socialite or something. It was weird. No matter how long Jack and I were in business together, I’d never get used to seeing my own name in print. And I’d never get used to reporters making me into a better father, a better person, than I really was.

“You make me sound like some sort of saint.”

“You and your wife adopted four kids. You are some sort of saint.”

“No. Just a guy who wanted to make his wife happy.”

“I talked to Kyle and Ian. It was more than that.”

My eyebrows rose. “You spoke to my boys?”

“They told me how Abigail took them out of bad foster homes and took them in, treating them like her own children from the moment she set eyes on them. And how you came home and greeted them at the dinner table like they’d always been there.”

“Because they had. At least, the kids that came before them and the ones that came after. Abigail collected children like most people collect knickknacks.”

“But you were right there next to her, taking in each of those children beside her.”

“I was.”

“So you are a little bit of a saint.”

I groaned, tossing the magazine aside as I dug into my cereal again. “I wish you would tell me before you talk to my boys.”

“Why? Are you afraid they’ll tell me secrets you don’t want to share?” She climbed into my lap, opening her robe in a suggestive display. “Or are you afraid I might find them more interesting than their daddy?”

“I think you might get yourself into trouble if you go around talking to people you shouldn’t.”

I lifted her, sitting her on the edge of the table, nearly toppling my bowl. I stood, but instead of playing her game, I turned and walked away.

I didn’t have time for this juvenile bullshit.