Breathless (28 page)

29.  OVERCOAT WEATHER

T
hough brilliantly sunny, Saturday morning was overcoat weather in Connecticut. As soon as Leesa stepped outside, her cheeks began to tingle from the cold and her breath floated from her mouth in a small misty cloud. She quickly pulled her hands up into her sleeves and pressed her arms against her body.

Such a strange word to pop into her head, she thought. “Overcoat”—a word she would never have used in a million years if her mom hadn’t spent the last three days telling everyone how much she liked her new overcoat. But Leesa didn’t mind it in the least. Wearing the coat meant her mom was venturing outside, and that was all that mattered. So overcoat weather it was, and overcoat weather it would remain, no matter how unhip it might sound. Besides, her friends were used to her being a little less hip than everyone else, and Rave was a Maston, so he was even less hip than she was, if that were possible. What the weather really was, though, was sweatshirt and an extra T-shirt weather—her heavy red Weston sweatshirt over two T-shirts and a pair of tight black leggings. The bottom of the white T-shirt extended below the hem of her sweatshirt, hugging her hips the way she’d noticed on other girls. She smiled, deciding she could be unhip and stylish at the same time.

She’d walked with her mom in Meriden the previous two afternoons, but walks with her mom were more like strolls and didn’t do much to work her leg or keep up her stamina. Not that she was complaining—she loved spending the time with her mom—but she was looking forward to raising her heart rate a bit more this morning.

Her heart rate rose sooner than she expected, and in a most pleasant way, when she spotted Rave leaning against a lamppost a short distance up the sidewalk. He was wearing a green long-sleeve shirt and jeans—and no gloves. A wide smile popped onto her face. She hadn’t seen him since the night he’d captured the
grafhym
.

“You waiting for a bus?” she joked when she reached him.

“Ha!” Rave said, mimicking Leesa’s favorite exclamation. “A horse and carriage, maybe.” He grinned. “Or a beautiful girl, whichever comes along first.”

Leesa made a show of searching up and down the sidewalk. The closest people were far up the road. “Looks like you’re out of luck.”

“Not from where I’m standing.” Rave leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

Despite the cold breeze, her forehead tingled warmly from the touch of his lips. Even after he pulled away, she could still fill their imprint on her skin. She wondered if these little pecks would ever stop thrilling her. Not so far, that was for sure.

“Care for some company?” Rave asked.

“You bet.”

Rave took her hand and they headed down the sidewalk. “How’s your mom doing?”

“Great. She’s eating like a normal person and getting more energy every day. And best of all, she loves being outside in the sun. We went to the mall Wednesday, and we walked the last two afternoons around Meriden. So far, there don’t seem to be any side effects at all.”

“That’s great. You must be really happy.”

Leesa beamed. “I’ve never been happier.” She squeezed his hand. “You’re a big part of that, you know.” She stopped walking and lifted his hand up close to her face. “Am I imagining it, or is your hand warmer than usual?”

“It’s always warmer when I’m touching you,” Rave said, grinning.

“Ha!” She let go of his hand and punched him playfully on the arm. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do. And you’re right. It is.”

“How come?”

Rave took her hand and they resumed their walk. “The energies that form
Destiratu
are growing,” he said. “As our hunger and restlessness rise, so does the strength of our fire. If the energies keep increasing, the weaker among us will soon have no choice but to hunt. It’s already affecting some of the vampires—you saw that after the Halloween party.”

Leesa pictured the vampire’s youthful face, still finding it hard to believe someone so young could be a vampire. “So the stronger
Destiratu
gets, the less control you all have?”

“Technically, it’s not
Destiratu
yet, not until the energies reach a certain strength,” Rave explained. “But yes, the stronger the energies become, the less control volkaanes and vampires have. If we do reach a true
Destiratu
, which is seeming more and more likely, things will get much worse.”

Leesa remained quiet for a few moments, trying to digest everything Rave was saying and wondering what “much worse” would be like. She didn’t really want to know, not now, not while she was enjoying her mom’s rebirth and her wonderful relationship with Rave, but she was unable to push the thoughts from her mind.

At the main gate, they swung right, down the hill toward downtown Middletown. The wind blew directly into their faces now, gusting unchecked up the long road and sending a stream of dead leaves skittering around their feet. But she scarcely felt the wind’s chill. Not with Rave holding her hand.

“Are you worried?” she asked finally. “Afraid of what the
Destiratu
will bring?”

“Not afraid, no, but concerned. More so than before I met you.” He squeezed her hand. “I have more to lose now.”

Leesa stopped and threw her arms around him, hugging him close, her cheek pressed against his chest. She could feel his heart beating against her ear and thought hers must be pounding twice as fast. Such a simple statement—
I have more to lose now
—yet so full of meaning. She felt tears brimming in her eyes. Tears of joy. Tears of love.

She let herself remain cocooned in his strong arms for a few moments before stepping back from his embrace. She took hold of his hands and looked up into his dark brown eyes.

“I love you, Rave.” A warm thrill not unlike what she felt when Rave kissed her shot through her as she voiced the words.

He smiled. “I love you, too.”

Leesa rose onto her toes and kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger on his smooth, warm skin. He sighed, and she teased him with a flick of her tongue before dropping back down from her toes. Her lips remained warm, as if they were being bathed in a tropical breeze rather than a late autumn wind. She still found it hard to believe such a simple touch could feel so wonderful. She wanted to kiss him for real, to feel his lips pressed against hers, to taste his tongue inside her mouth. But that would be much too dangerous without Balin here to keep them safe.

She let go of his left hand and began walking again, keeping hold of his right. “How’s the kissing thing coming? Have you been practicing with Balin?”

He laughed, and she realized how her question sounded.

“Practicing the breathing stuff, I mean. Not kissing him.”

“I know. And yes, I’ve been practicing.”

“I hope you’ll do some practicing with me later,” Leesa said, trying to run her tongue provocatively over her lips like she’d seen nasty women do in the movies.

Rave grinned. “I have every intention of doing just that.”

Leesa stepped up her pace, tugging on his hand. “Let’s get this walk going, then,” she laughed. “Time’s a wasting.”

They strode rapidly down the hill, turning south onto Main Street into a bustle of people making their way to brunch at a couple of popular eateries. Leesa and Rave were forced to slow as they threaded their way along the crowded sidewalk, but slowing slightly for a couple of blocks wasn’t a big deal, until Leesa saw something in a line outside one of the restaurants that brought her to an abrupt halt.

The woman was wearing an overcoat similar to her mom’s. Clinging to her hands were two towheaded children—a girl of about four or five and a boy a few years older. Leesa’s mind flashed back to images of herself and Bradley with their mom.

Bradley…

The floodgates opened. Questions and emotions surged through her brain. Where was he? What was he doing? More importantly, what was being done to him? She wiped her sleeve across her moistening eyes. Rave stared at her questioningly, his face filled with concern.

“My mom asked about Bradley the other day,” she explained, her voice nearly breaking.

“Uh-oh. What did you tell her?”

Leesa tried to compose herself. “Just that he’d been gone for a little while, and I wasn’t sure when he was coming back. I didn’t want her worrying.”

Rave put his arm around her and guided her to a metal bench at the edge of the sidewalk. “That’s probably best…for now, anyhow.”

Leesa snuggled against Rave’s side, wishing there was some way to stop from worrying about Bradley. But she couldn’t, not with all this stuff about
Destiratu
and hunger and loss of control. She wondered what effect it was having on her brother. She flashed back to the young vampire Rave had destroyed, how Rave said it was new and weak. If Bradley were a vampire, he would be very new and very weak. She shuddered at the thought of some volkaane killing him, his body disintegrating into a pile of ash, but then realized death would be a far better fate than an eternity as a vampire. This was not a road she wanted to go down, so she forced the thought down. Better to think about saving him. Which meant she had to keep thinking of him as a feeder.

“I have to find a way to bring Bradley back. For Mom, and for me.” She inched away from Rave and turned to face him, her eyes looking beseechingly into his. “Isn’t there anything you can do? You have power over vampires.”

Staring down into Leesa’s anguished face, Rave would have given anything to be able to tell her yes, to say he could steal his way into the vampire lair and spirit her brother safely away. But he knew he couldn’t. It just wasn’t possible.

“I wish I could,” he said, his voice heavy with regret. “But nothing short of a full volkaane assault or a battalion of human troops could breech the vampire cavern. Many would perish, with no guarantee of your brother’s safety. I wish I could tell you differently.”

Leesa sighed. “So do I. I was just hoping.”

“If the
Destiratu
reaches full strength, you may get your wish. Enough vampires may be drawn out to hunt, enough of them destroyed to make it possible. Or perhaps our volkaane hunger will burn so strongly we’ll have no choice but to hunt them in their lair.”

Leesa didn’t know what to say. The thought of dozens of Rave’s fellows dying was not a pleasant one. And what if something should happen to him? How could she live with that? She had to find another way. She needed to talk to Stefan again, see what he could do. But she couldn’t tell Rave that.

“I’d never wish for that,” she said. “It’s too horrible to imagine.”

“Don’t worry. If it happens, it won’t be due to any wish of yours. It will be
Destiratu
.”

Staring up at the ceiling, Leesa lay stretched out on her bed, thinking and drifting, her hands clasped behind her head. She was still in the clothes she’d walked in, having removed only her sweatshirt and shoes. Warm sunlight slanted in through the window and fell across the bottom half of the bed, covering her feet like a cozy blanket. Her mood alternated between blissful joy and troubled anxiety. The joy came when she relived the kiss she and Rave shared before he left. A kiss as warm and tender and passionate and explosive and loving as the previous three—but a kiss again cut short by her alarm. She wondered dreamily if there would ever come a time when they would be free to kiss so often she could stop counting their kisses. And no longer need the alarm, either. How wonderful that would be…if it ever came to be.

The anxiety arose when her thoughts turned to Bradley. She had to find a way to help him. She just had to. He’d done so much for her, had always been there when she needed him, and even when she didn’t. Now it was her turn to do something for him. But how? She knew Rave would help if he could. He would risk his life if she asked him, but he’d been very clear there was nothing he could do. Which left Stefan. He wanted something from her—she had no idea what—but whatever it was, she hoped she could use it to help her brother. But she had no way of reaching Stefan, no idea where to look for him, no idea when he might show up. When you counted your existence in centuries, a day or a week must be little more than the blink of an eye. She remembered the “time is not a line” thing from her physics class. Who knew what time was like for a vampire? And how many blinks it might be before Stefan came around again.

She hated this feeling of helplessness, but there was nothing she could do except to wait. And to hope. Hope it wouldn’t be too long before Stefan came back. Hope that whatever he wanted from her would be enough to get him to help Bradley. And hope Rave was not around when Stefan did show up.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, hoping Cali was down in her room to provide some distraction. At least that was a hope with some chance of coming true right now.

30.  SHARING SECRETS

“
A
ll this happened, more or less,” Leesa said to Cali over a deliciously greasy sausage and pepperoni pizza in a popular pizza joint a block off campus. “Pretty hard to believe, I know.”