Breathless (173 page)

Have I thought about my attraction and my growing feelings towards Emery being a rebellion towards my family’s desires? Yes. I learned I’m not doing it to piss them off, I am doing it for me, myself and I. I’ve grown bored of playing the stiff, doting son that they created me to be. I want to live free, I want to date who I want and live how I want. I don’t want to do what is expected of me anymore. It’s wearing me down and turning me into my father and he is the last person on this earth I ever want to consider myself being like. He is a bigger manipulator than Killian and I both put together and he’s one sleazy asshole.

All that is about to change now, because once I start this thing with Emery, I’m stopping it, and Killian will have his work cut out for him if he thinks he’s going to win her this time around.

Meeting Killian

My fists ball up as I watch Duncan and Emery hug in the parking lot of her parent’s café. I don’t know what kind of game this fuckwad is trying to play, but it isn’t happening on my watch. Emery has been mine since the day I busted her nose with that damn dodge ball. I know I’ve put her through hell these past few years. I know I have fucked up so many times that even I have lost count. But shit, I was growing the fuck up! That saying ‘you don’t know what you got until it’s gone’, rang so true to me this year when I was graduating from college. All I could think about was coming back here and proving to Emery that I have changed, that I did grow up and that I am done with all the stupid bullshit drama.

Do I love Emery? Hell motherfucking yes, I do, and the fact I know she loves me just as much is another reason I think it was so easy for me to keep screwing everything up. In the back of my head, I just kept telling myself to go ahead, do it.
You know she’ll forgive you for it
. So I did and I just kept on doing. Every time I went back to school, friends from home would call and tell me how Emery was doing, I would feel like shit, but I still kept on doing the same shit over and over again.

I completely regret one mistake more than the others. When she caught me screwing someone else, I blamed Emery for not giving it up to me as the reason for what I had done. What kind of fucker does that? Me, that’s who. The look on her face gutted me. It was devastating, and even though it hurt me to hurt her, it didn’t stop me from continuing on my jackass parade. No woman has ever compared to Emery, not a single one. She is one of a kind and there is no finding someone out there that is like her. She loves full heartedly, and she forgives easily, and she is so damn kind to others.

Whether Emery knows it or not, she is the poster girl for how a wife should act. That is why I came back home instead of going off somewhere else to begin my life after college. I already had my life waiting for me back home, and it just took years to figure it out. I had no motive in being with Emery back in high school. I was simply attracted to her, and so was one of my best friends at the time. Was my attraction to Emery worth losing my best friend? Yes, looking back on it, it was totally worth it.

I mean, it sucked for about the first year or so. I didn’t understand his problem for the longest time. Sure, we had a little pissing match that day with Emery, but hell, he was too old for her. I honestly thought he was just trying to steal my thunder. I sure as fuck didn’t think it was going to cause this standoff shit we’ve had going for the past six years. Every summer I was back home, he was, too, and we never said jack shit to one another. It was like the friendship we’d once had was completely nonexistent.

The dude knows how to hold a grudge, that is for sure. Never thought I’d lose a friend because of a girl, but I did, and I chose the right girl, too.

At first, I thought Emery might make this a challenge for me. I thought she’d make it harder to win her and her forgiveness, but by the looks of Duncan and Emery, all cozy in their embrace… Duncan will be the real challenge.

So, he has finally put on his big boy pants and decided to make a move on Emery? Fine.

Let the motherfucking games begin.

Meeting Montana

Growing up in Walker Creek wasn’t what the tourist brochures made it out to be. If you weren’t one of the Creek’s elite family members, you were basically rated as trash. So being in elementary school with those elite children was tragically hard for me as a child. I guess they felt that being named after the state we live in was something funny.

Looking back on it, it was actually a good thing that they had. It only made me stronger as a person. When I reached middle school, all that bullying from elementary school stayed in my mind, and I fought back verbally, until eventually, everyone left me alone. Emery and I flew through junior high after that.

When we got to high school, everyone started putting two and two together and realized that the principal was my father. It all started back up again. The teasing didn’t stop until after Emery snagged the infamous Killian Reid. We were untouchable that year, and it felt amazing. For the longest time, I looked at Killian as our saving grace, our knight in shining armor that never lets anything bad happen to us.

He didn’t break my trust in him until the following year when he became a senior.

That year, he broke my best friend’s heart in two, and I watched as he repeatedly stomped on it. It completely shattered her, and it only got worse as the years went by. I couldn’t ever understand why she always went back for more. Why the hell she kept doing that to herself just made no sense to me. It took everything I had to break up our friendship this past year. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. She was using me as a crutch every time that jackass broke her heart. A girl can only stand so much, watching her best friend completely fall apart, losing herself over and over again.

Besides, that isn’t the only reason I had to stop talking to my best friend. Just last year, that asshole got drunk and put a move on me right after dropping Emery off at work. We were at a party, and he just kept groping me. Even though I was buzzed, I still knew the difference between right and wrong and shoved him away from me. Everything about the situation was sleazy and made me sick to my stomach. I never told Em about it, and I never plan to. I don’t think Killian even remembers doing it. He has made a lot of mistakes that I’m sure he doesn’t even remember making. I was always so relieved when he would go back to school. He caused nothing but pain when he was home, and now that he is finished with college, I have a feeling that everything is about to change…

Chapter One

Emery

“So… Duncan, you’ve finally found your man card?”

Shit! Where the hell did he come from? Duncan and I let our arms fall from our embrace, and we turned towards Killian. Five minutes ago, I thought that I’d be able to confront this situation later on and that I could possibly handle it. I didn’t think for one moment that it might happen a lot sooner than I would have liked.

With all the courage I can muster, I speak the first brave words I have ever spoken to Killian. “My options are open. I’m dating you both. You either deal with it or you don’t. The choice is yours.”

Duncan starts laughing, and when I turn back to him, he tries to cover it with a fake cough as he brings his fist up to his mouth.

Nice try, buddy!

With a smirk directed at him, I shake my head and turn back to Killian. His stance is all wrong. I thought he would throw a jealous fit over the entire situation, and yet here he stands with his arms crossed, and his mouth set in the sexiest smirk I have seen on him in a long while.

“By the cockiness laced across your face, Killian, I’d go ahead and assume you have no problem with this?” I ask in an irritated tone.

His attention rests fully on me now. It feels as if he is studying me as he uncrosses his arms and moves the few feet to me. One hand trails up my arm as he brings his head down to whisper in my ear. “I have one thing he doesn’t, babe. I have the years and the memories.”

I turn my head away so that I can see Duncan. There, sitting on his deep handsome face, is the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen. That is all the encouragement I need to reply to Killian’s statement. I whip my head back towards him. “Yeah, that might be… but he does not have a single thing stacked against him.”

My smile only widens when I see the look of understanding take over his cocky smirk. He needs to understand that Duncan has not hurt me a single time, and that alone already has him in the lead. If Killian wants to make this a game, then I will let him. Maybe it will help me break this hold he has over me.

While I am basking in the glory of my statement, Duncan grabs my arm and pulls me away from Killian. Before I can even process what has happened, his lips are on mine, and he owns them. His tongue probes until I open my mouth to let him in. The kiss is soft at first, but when my tongue finally tangles with his, he groans and deepens it. My toes curl and my stomach flutters as all these feelings take root. My fingers dig into his strong, muscled biceps as his mouth continues to assault mine. I don’t know how much time passes by before we finally break free from one another. I am left panting for breath with a growling Killian behind me.

Oh, god!

“I’ll see you later, bug.” Duncan whispers to me as his lips peck at mine.

My face burns with heat. It isn’t until Killian starts speaking that I wake from my lust induced coma.

“Bug? He calls you bug? What the fuck is that about?”

He only questions my nickname and not about the kiss that just shocked me to my core? Killian must not be all that worried. And in all honesty, he should be.

“I am not about to share anything Duncan related with you,” I say as my mind wraps around the memory of gaining the name.

It was snowing outside, and Duncan was trying to cheer me up, so he insisted that we go outside and build a snowman for the kids coming in and out of the restaurant with their families. While we were rolling the snowman’s head around in the snow, he said I had a bug in my hair. At first, I fell for it. He reached up and smashed a snowball right in my face. I should have known better. There was snow on the damn ground. Bugs weren’t even out. When I gave him an evil look, he nodded his head towards the windows to the kids watching. He was trying to give them a show, and it started an all-out snowball war. Needless to say, the name stuck and he continued to call me bug. In retrospect, it is a cute name. It isn’t at all cliché. It is completely original.

“It’s fucking stupid, is what it is,” he says to me.

I roll my eyes. Killian’s sweet side is evaporating a lot earlier than it normally does. It usually takes a few weeks. I hope he is feeling threatened.

“It isn’t stupid. It’s different.”

He comes to stand in front of me as he brings his hands up to my cheeks, his blue eyes studying me. “Emery, all this is unnecessary, it really is. I told you I fucked up in the past. I get that now. I’m home now. I’m older. We both are. Things are going to be different now. I promise.”

Why is he doing this? I feel like his using his age as an excuse is just a cop out. Maybe it is to make him feel better about how he has treated me in the past or something. I don’t know, but I am not falling for it this time. I love him, everyone knows that, he knows that, but in cases like this, it isn’t enough. When you have a past built on mainly lies and betrayal, it will make you question any action or motive.

I close my eyes for a minute to process my next words. When I open them again, I feel stronger. “I can’t count on that, Kill. I can’t. You’ve hurt many too many times. I need a distraction. I need to do this. It might hurt you to watch me date someone else while I’m dating you, but I can’t apologize for that, and it’s because I don’t want to. Maybe in some dark twisted way, I want you to hurt as badly as I have in the past. You’ve gutted me so many fucking times that I can’t count them anymore. So yeah, I want this to be hard for you, and yes, I know this isn’t my old behavior. I know you weren’t expecting this. But if you say you’ve changed, you’ve grown up? Look at it like this… I’m making these decisions because I didn’t get a chance to figure out who I wanted to be or who I am, and it was all because you kept on crippling me with heartache. Now, this is me, growing up, and you will just have to deal with it.”

I release the largest rush of air when I finish my tirade.

He drops his hands from my cheeks and steps back, all the while his eyes keep searching mine.

“I’m serious about this, Kill. I am.”

His lips suck in and out as he lets a rush of breath release from his lungs in a hurry. “I… shit, fuck, dammit!” He growls as he brings his hands up to his hair to fist it in frustration. “This is all so fucked up. I’m gonna fight for you, Em. I am, you’ll see.”

This isn’t like Killian. He goes with the flow, always has. I have never seen this side of him, nor did I ever think I would get to witness it. My heart flutters as I think about the possibilities of him actually changing and treating me how I am supposed to be treated. Why did he have to go and do this? Why couldn’t he just let me bask in my glory? Why the hell did he have to grow up all of a sudden and decide what he wanted?

I don’t know what to say to him, how to reply, so I just go with something simple. “We’ll see,” I murmur as I turn around and head back inside to work.

When the door chimes as I open the door, it takes everything in me not to run straight to the bathroom to cry. All kinds of emotions rage through me right now. I am sad, angry, happy, and confused. I am sad, because why couldn’t he be like this years ago? I am angry, because right when I decide to move on and spread my dating wings, he does this. I am happy, because I can’t wait to see how Killian is going to be, and I am confused, because I want so desperately to see this side of him grow.

“I saw what happened from the window. Are you okay?”

How dare she! She hasn’t been there for me this past year, and she thinks, just because she works here at my family’s restaurant and saw something from the window, she has the right to ask me about it?

“You don’t get to ask me how I’m doing, Montana. You lost that right when you dumped our friendship.” I spit out.