Breathe for Me (24 page)

She shivered. But she knew he identified those to shine the light onto them—to help people. Save people. Protect.

“You going to let me help you out with these herbs again?” He turned to face her, eyeballing her—like he was daring her to refuse him. “Isn’t it supposed to be a collaborative, community thing?”

His eyes were too beautiful—that brilliant blue, and on his lips there was that irresistible, charming smile. How could she possibly resist? She handed him the basil plant. “Be my guest.”

An hour later all the plants had been placed—the leaves almost woven together to create the lush green walls. It was exactly as she’d envisioned it—beautiful.

“Come and try some!” Luisa called in her ridiculously
un
-Italian accent. She walked out of the pop-up holding out a giant tray.

Xander’s phone rang at the exact same time. He answered, gesturing for Chelsea to go get some anyway.

Chelsea blew on a piece of hot pizza, aware of the tall, silent Hunter standing beside her. The man was obviously made of iron given he made short work of the steaming hot pizza and was onto his second slice already.

His silence tweaked Chelsea’s nerves. He clearly didn’t do idle chit-chat, wasn’t the kind to say something for the sake of it and she couldn’t think of a thing to witter on about. Certainly wasn’t going to ask him about Xander. Not after Logan.

But then he finished that second slice and glanced at her. “Pizza’s good.”
 

“I’m so glad.” She really was. “Thanks for helping out.”

He shrugged like it was no bother and resumed his intent study of the people passing. Most stared at them to see what was going on. Some stopped to ask—Luisa was in full flight telling them all and handing out fliers. It was going to be a crazy busy couple of weeks.

“Your serving guy’s quite a character too.” Hunter said slowly. “Where’d you find her?”

Chelsea smiled. “She was the barista at the coffee cart outside work and was happy to take on something ransom. She’s travelling round and just happened to have worked in a pizza restaurant before—in New Zealand. That’s where she’s from. Not Italy.”

“You don’t say.”

Chelsea chuckled and took another look around the pop-up. The pizzas were good, the greenery was gorgeous, the pictures hilarious. “The inspectors are coming first thing to sign it off. Then we can start selling.”

“Fast work.”

She nodded, thrilled. “That’s part of the project. UP over night, here for a few days and then it vanishes.”

“Good thing that this site came up for you.”

Hunter knew about that? Xander must have told him. “Yeah, I can’t believe it.”

“Almost too good to be true, right?”

She turned and met Hunter’s eyes—discovered he was as good at staring right through people as Xander was. “Maybe?” she asked cautiously.

“Who is it who owns this site?”

“I’m not entirely sure, some consortium I think.”

Hunter made a sound that sounded like a cross between a mumble and a snort and wandered off.

Chelsea frowned as she watched him walk away. Why had he asked? Why had he questioned? It made
her
question.

She pulled out her phone and quickly Googled the name of the company the Facebook comment guy had given her. It was a holding company. She searched the info page—saw some of the subsidiaries listed, some of the management team were named and some of their recent deals were profiled. She paused as she read the third one down. They’d recently announced a collaboration with Logan Hughes?

Of course.
Contacts
. It was all about contacts and Logan Hughes had arranged this. Chelsea winced. What a fool she was. She’d been so glad to secure a spot she didn’t care who the site belonged to. She hadn’t taken the time to think how coincidental, how ‘too-perfect’ the timing was. But now it was all too obvious. Xander had pulled strings. He’d helped her out. He’d damn well rescued her.

And she was furious with him.

Chapter Nineteen

“I’ll see you home.”

Of course he would. He was that kind of guy. But Chelsea didn’t argue, her leg ached. Hell, her whole body ached. Besides, she wanted to call him on it.

She was silent for the cab ride home. Still said nothing once they got to the building.

He got out on her floor of course. Seeing her safely to her door. She unlocked and opened it and then turned to face him.

“You got Logan to find me a space.”

It was almost three in the morning, she was tired and seriously grumpy.

He looked at her for a moment then glanced away. “Bloody Hunter,” he muttered.

“I didn’t want your help,” she said.

He swiftly moved—taking five paces forward so she had to retreat. He slammed the door behind him.

“I watched my mother bust her butt for years trying to get us ahead and I’m damned if I’m going to sit by and watch
anyone
work their fingers to the bone if there’s something I can do to help them out,” he growled.

Just like that he snuffed her anger. Suddenly she felt sorry. “I didn’t know that about your mother.” She’d known there had to be reasons why he worked so hard, why he’d liked to be the lifeguard. His mom had needed help? Of course—if his father had been that awful. Horrible suspicions entered her mind and she looked at him. Waited. Wanted him to speak more.

His shoulders lifted but he didn’t say anything else. Her frustration resurged.

“I didn’t need that kind of help, Xander,” she said, pride surging again. “Not that ‘secret angel’ kind of thing. It makes me feel like I can’t do anything on my own. People have been helping me so much these last couple of years. For once I wanted to be the one to achieve things, to lead. Without the secret ‘let’s help out the hurt girl’ stuff.”

“It wasn’t like that,” he grumped, every bit as frustrated. “Logan would never have gotten onboard if he wasn’t interested in the idea. He wouldn’t have done this just because I asked the favor. If it didn’t have its own merit, he’d have walked away without a second glance.”

“Really?” It seemed to her those guys had a pretty tight bond. That they’d back each other to the wall if necessary.

He inhaled deeply. “Well, he’d have tried to come up with another alternative. He wouldn’t have put it smack bang in the middle of his biggest partnership.” He looked at her. “And you have led this Chelsea. It’s all your idea, your effort. Hell, you’re the one who grew those plants from seed. And it’s brilliant. It looks bloody brilliant. And the damn pizza is delicious.” He held his hands out wide in an uncomprehending gesture. “You hate people helping you so much?”

“Only because I’ve had so much of it, it makes me feel useless,” she said sadly. “I know that makes me sound ungrateful and I’m not really. But I just wanted that one thing to be mostly me.” She shook her head. “But how do you think I got to stay in this apartment block?” She turned away from him. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t do any of this on my own. Those guys built the foundation platform, Steve and Luisa did so much. So did you.”

“Don’t go thinking that having people help you lessens you in any way.
Everybody
has help. Nobody does things in total isolation. It doesn’t make this any less
yours
, or any less
your
success.”

She turned back. “Don’t you do everything in isolation? Aren’t you a total Superman—all capable all on your own?”

“No.” He stomped across the room. “I have an amazing PA. She organizes everything. I have a great team working for me. And I have my buddies.”

He was exaggerating things for her. He was tough and capable—so much more than she. She didn’t know why it bothered her so much. But it felt like all she’d wanted was slipping through her fingertips. Her independence, her achievements… everything she’d wanted wasn’t quite what she’d wanted. Not quite the way she’d wanted.
Nothing
was quite right and as crazy as it was, she didn’t know how to make it.

But as she looked into his damn gorgeous eyes and saw that natural upturn to his lips, warmth trickled in, easing all those aches. Goose bumps lifted on her skin.

Chemistry, Chelsea. This is just chemistry.

Xander rolled his shoulders, trying to shake out the tension burning his muscles. Why should it bother him that she’d rejected his help? He shouldn’t
want
to help her, right? He shouldn’t be making this any more complicated. He didn’t want complicated or emotional. It was exactly what he’d sworn away from. He should have stayed away. He’d ended it already. Except he still wanted her. He couldn’t seem to stay away.

Sex. Just sex
.

That’s what
she
wanted. And what he needed to take it back to. No more dates, no more meeting her outside her bedroom. Nothing but a quick screw and then home alone to sleep.

Irritated, he could think of no tease tonight. No scenario for them to laugh through, to turn her on.

But from the look in her eyes, he didn’t need one. He pressed her up against the wall, the need to dominate biting hard. Heat bloomed in her cheeks.

“Don’t make a sound,” he instructed. “Not a sound.” He didn’t want to hear her ecstatic little sighs. This was just sex. Nothing else. No emotion. Her eyes widened and he saw her clamp down on her lip.

It was so damn easy to excite her. Given he was already painfully hard, this was probably good. He leaned against her. Flattening her against the wood. Letting her feel just how hot he was.

He heard her groan and paused. “No noise whatsoever.”

He wanted to see her needing him. Hell, when had he needed the ego trip? But her hips writhed against his hand. She was wet and hot and her teeth tore at her lower lip as she tried to keep her sighs inside.

“Uh huh.” He rubbed her lip with the tip of his finger. He didn’t want her hurting herself.

It only took seconds to get her ready, to get himself sheathed—seconds too long.

At last he slid home. Happiness burst through his chest. Hell he’d
missed
this. Missed being so close to her. But looking into her eyes was a mistake. He saw the slight pain hidden in there along with her desire. Suddenly it wasn’t enough. He needed more than this.

“Damn it Chelsea.” She wrung so much from him. “Say something.”

“Xander.” Her hand lifted.

He grabbed it, held it to his jaw. Then he bent and kissed her. Taking the breath from her because this time he needed it. She kissed him back—soft and sweet and hungry and wild. His heart melted, warmth flooding his body as he closed his eyes and let it wash over him. So different. So good. And still not enough.

An hour later Chelsea smiled as Xander slid down more comfortably in her bed. Clearly he had no intention of leaving for the rest of the night.

Good.

“Are you still mad with me for asking Logan to help?” he asked slyly.

Oh was that what the incredible sex had been about—making her forget? She shook her head. “Tom always said…” She trailed off, suddenly chilled.

“What?” Xander prompted softly. “It’s okay to say.”

Yeah, it probably was. Chelsea took a breath. “He always teased me for taking things so seriously and always trying to do everything on my own. He said it was stupid.”

“He was right.” Xander laughed. “He sounds nice.”

“He was.” And it was also stupid the way her heart stuttered at Xander’s easiness in hearing about her former fiancé. She tried to steel herself. It was a good reminder that Xander wasn’t after a relationship—that the lapse in their initial boundaries didn’t actually mean anything more. Because if he was starting to fall for her, wouldn’t he go all jealous and not want to know a thing?

She sure as hell
never
wanted to know about his past lovers. Jealousy surged at the mere thought. She hated them all. Worse, she was terrified she wasn’t a match for them in bed. The guy had experience. It oozed out of him. He hadn’t gotten to be such a hot lover with only the one other lay.

“Tell me more about him,” Xander said.

Yeah, see there you go. So not bothered. “We met at college,” she answered. “We were in the same class. First year.”

“He was an urban planner too?”

She nodded. “He was funny. Kind. Talented. It was…” Different to this. “So easy. We were just happy.”

It had been sweet. He’d been caring. They’d had plans to go into business together and forge a partnership across all areas of their lives. She’d loved the idea. It had beckoned, secure and safe. She’d wanted that so much.

“He was your first serious boyfriend?”

She nodded. “My only.”

Xander’s eyes widened. “And now this?”

She nodded again. “This.” She’d dived headfirst into a hot and heavy ‘arrangement’ with the most testosterone-laden man she’d ever encountered. The most outrageously sensual. The most playful. Probably not the smartest thing to have done but she was committed now.

“Did you play the fantasy game with him?” His question was sharpened with a rough edge.

She flushed and looked away. “I’m… not.” Discussing this. She couldn’t.