Breathe (33 page)

We all waited another hour before the nurse finally came back and asked for the first two people. Lily and Tyler went, coming back fifteen minutes later. They were both numb and silent. Cora and Joey went next, both of them returning in fifteen minutes shaken and Cora was sobbing against Joey’s chest. Dr. Jacobs and his wife went next. They only lasted ten minutes before they came back to the room. Taylor and her husband, Jack were next, again fifteen minutes and the woman was clinging to the man sobbing. I was petrified at this point and kept shaking my head when someone asked me if I wanted to see her. After everyone had their fifteen minutes they started saying their goodbyes and heading out until it was just me, Tyler, Lily, Cora, Joey, and their kids along with the security detail. We didn’t necessarily need them anymore but Josh insisted on staying on until Kathryn was settled back at home.

Tyler grabbed my arm and pulled me across the room. He looked down at his feet and took a deep breath.

“I know I haven’t always been very nice to you.”

“You’ve been a jackass to him.” Lily walked up and wrapped her arm around her brother’s waist, leaning against him for support. He automatically placed his arm around her shoulder.

“Yes, I have been a jackass and I apologize. You aren’t like everyone said you were. When I am wrong I say it and I was.” He dashed his hand across his eyes wiping the tears away and running his hands through his hair. “What I am trying to say is that your place is in that room with her. Lily and I will come by tomorrow and check on you but you need to go to her and be there. She is sound asleep and has been since they brought her to the room. Side effect of blood loss and the surgery, we want you to be there for her when she wakes up.”

He addressed much of that speech to his feet but when he was done he raised his head and looked me straight in the eyes.

“She needs someone who gives her strength and love. Not that we don’t do that but she has lit up since she met you. It was like she was a corpse and you brought her back to life. I didn’t realize that the sparkle and the color was gone until it started coming back and that is because of you. So we are going home with the security detail, you stay here.”

I felt tears falling down my cheeks and I pulled them both into a hug. Tyler was tall was I was still able to lay my cheek on the side of his head. I pressed a kiss there, then one on the top of Lily’s more petite head. We held each other a few minutes and then I pulled away, brushing tears from my face.

“Thank you Tyler.” The first words I had spoken since I came in and asked what had happened. He smiled and nodded then took his sister’s hands and led the way out the door, everyone else following closely behind. I was left with the nurse who asked if I was ready.

“Lead the way missus.” It was a short walk from the waiting room to the ICU room where Kathryn was. She had an IV line in, a catheter, and she was hooked up to machines that monitored her heart rate, blood oxygen, and breathing. There were a few bruises on her face, and what looked like a knot on her forehead. There was a thick bandage wrapped completely around her throat, and though I knew there were at least two more they were covered by the hideous hospital gown and the white blankets wrapped around her. They had her slightly inclined but mainly laid back. Her auburn hair was flat and tangled against the pillows, and that detail caused the tears to start flowing down my cheeks again. I walked over and took her hand in mine, taking the chair that one of her other visitors had brought to the bed.

“Oh my grá. What did they do to you?” I brushed a lock of her hair off her face, leaving my hand there, holding her. She looked rough, beaten, and flat but she was my heart and seeing her, touching her, knowing she was breathing and hearing her heartbeat behind me finally broke through the numbness kick starting the heart that had stopped while Josh told the story. I sobbed like a baby into my hands, bringing her hand up against my cheek and resting against it. All this pain, all this suffering was my fault. I riled Lynn up and unleashed her, making her focus all her energy on Kathryn. How could I have been so stupid? Once the tears were dry I brought the chair closer and laid my head down next to her pillow, my hand still clasping hers and I closed my eyes. It was after two in the morning and I was exhausted but I wasn’t going to get the chair bed thing out. I wasn’t moving an inch from where I was right now.

(Kathryn)

I opened my eyes and saw Daniel, fast asleep right next to me. I tried to lift my hand and touch his face but the pull of wires stopped me. I frowned and turned my head in that direction. I was hooked up to an IV. My befuddled mine took a minute and then it all came flowing back to me as well as pain, lots of pain. I couldn’t help a small whimper from leaving my lips but it was enough to wake Daniel up. He shoot up in his seat and pushed the nurse’s button.

“I guess I really did pass out then huh?”

Daniel started laughing and I grinned through the pain. Two nurses came in and one inserted a needle into the IV injecting meds quickly into my system.

“How are you feeling Ms. James?” One of the nurses was a pretty young blonde with hazel eyes. She wore pink scrub pants and a scrub shirt with unicorns. I couldn’t help but think how much momma would love that shirt.

“Like I was stabbed and knocked around a locker room, but alive.” She smiled.

“Yes you are. Incredibly lucky. The doctor said half an inch either way on any of your wounds and it could have been very different.” The other nurse, an older thicker woman with short grey hair and wearing a straight blue scrubs set, moved around the machines writing down all the vitals and checking the IV line, while the pretty one emptied and switched the catheter bags and talked.

Daniel reached for my hand and held it while they moved around me, rubbing his thumb over the top. I focused on that small movement as I waited for the pain meds to do their magic. I knew it was likely that it would make me drowsy so I turned and looked at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his normally perfectly groomed stubble was long and unruly. His hair was sticking up in several directions and his eyes showed the stress and something else, guilt. I struggled to move closer, wincing at the shockwave of pain shooting up my right side. I gritted my teeth tightly until it passed.

“Don’t move woman. Lay still. What do you need?” Daniel stood up, ready to get whatever I needed, to move mountains, and tame lions if that’s what I wanted.

“This wasn’t your fault.” He stopped and looked down at me. I felt the medicine making its way through my body, creating a blissful numbness. “Do you hear me? This wasn’t your fault.”

The nurses were done with what they were doing and politely exited without another word. I watched them pull the door closed behind them then Daniel crumbled. He fell back into the chair, put his hands over his face and sobbed.

“I brought this on you. It was my fault, I did it.”

“You mean it was you in that locker room who knocked my head against the wall? Who put your hands around my throat and threatened my kids?”

“No of course not Kathryn but..”

“Oh so it was you who yanked my hair, scratched my face, held a knife to my throat and then stabbed me twice?” He scrubbed his face with his hand, tears streaming out of his beautiful blue eyes.

“No my grá.”

“Did you tell Lynn to do those things to me or Andrew?” He shook his head, his shoulders slumped, and his hands between his knees.

“Did you tell Lynn if she got rid of me you would go back to her? Did you tell Andrew that I was trying to hurt his child?”

Daniel’s head whipped up.

“I am going to take that surprised looks as a no. So you didn’t do a damn thing Daniel. Lynn is all grown up and she makes her own choices, although I do think her parents need to get her checked by a good psychologist. Pretty sure she has some serious mental issues that need to be addressed and cared for.” He grabbed my hand and held on to it like it was a lifeline. I felt the drugs pulling me under but I smiled at him.

“I am going to sleep now. Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Of course my grá. I will be right here.” With those words I let the meds pull me back into the darkness. As long as he was next to me I knew I was safe, I was protected even if I was at my weakest.

(Daniel)

I watched over her the entire time she was in the hospital, only taking small breaks so that her children, and our friends could visit. I spoke to her dad and mom on the phone several times a day to give them updates on both Kathryn’s condition and what was going on with Lynn and Andrew.

Dante had taken over since their crimes spanned internationally it was in the FBI’s and Homeland Security’s jurisdiction to deal with. They were both charged with two counts of attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, breaking and entering, harassment, and terroristic threats. I was pretty sure the last was thrown in there for good measure but I didn’t argue. Dante came by every day to check on Kathryn and the kids. He had become as much as part of the family as Josh and the rest of the security detail.

Kathryn got stronger every day, and was able to get up and walk a few days after the attack but she took it easy. She walked like an old woman that I took great joy pointing out. She always stuck her tongue out at me and continued on her way. Once she was able to move better on her own the catheter was removed and she was very thankful. She called it a hateful vile thing and she was never ever getting one again, that is until she had to get up and go to the bathroom herself. Then she wasn’t cussing it so much.

She was an awful patient and hated accepting any help whatsoever. When she was able to leave the ICU and move to a regular room I helped her shower and she complained loudly throughout until I stripped down and joined her. We couldn’t do anything; she was a long way from being able to do anything in that way but holding her skin to skin helped soothe us both. Helping her shave her legs was a whole other lesson in patience and steady hands. She laughed the entire time that made the chore a bit more pleasant, and the fact I got to smooth lotion all over her shapely legs helped soothe me further.

I let her get herself dressed in fresh underwear which she was denied in the ICU and a fresh clean pair of lounge pants with a tank top. She curled up in her bed and I finger combed her wet hair until she fell asleep. I climbed in bed behind her and slept, holding her close. The nurses frowned on it at first but accepted it after the first couple of nights.

Finally after two weeks of being in the hospital, two weeks before Christmas we were released from the hospital. Kathryn would have to get regular checks to make sure her kidney was continuing to function properly but all the test they did pointed to the fact it was healing just fine. All her bruises and the scratches were gone; it looked like the knot on her forehead never happened. A plastic surgeon had done great work sewing up the cut on her throat, and it was healing as expected as well. All in all I knew I was blessed to have this woman beside me right now. She could have died in that locker room but her stubborn will to survive no matter what kept her fighting and I was thankful every day for that.

Once I got her settled in bed at home, tucking her in with her Kindle and her favorite cookies I started letting people visit. Our bedroom looked like a florist was setting up shop but she loved every single one of them. Some came from people in the industry who just wanted to suck up to the mother of the golden twins as Tyler and Lily were being called, even though neither were golden and they definitely weren’t twins. I laughed every time I heard it thinking back on what Lily had said about my nickname. Now I think she finally understood why I hated it. You didn’t get to choose your nickname but you had to live with it.

Kathryn insisted that we decorate a Christmas tree and do all the things that they normally did for the holidays so I carried her down to the living room and she watched as Tyler, Lily, and I carried in the pine tree that they all three insisted that they had to have when I wanted to go buy a plastic one like every other sane person in America. Then Tyler and I hauled out the ten totes of Christmas decorations from storage. While we hung the lights the girls went through and decided what was going to be put out this year and what needed to be packed up for next year.

Finally it was time to put the ornaments on. We found the two totes of ornaments and Kathryn joined us to add some as well. She was moving better and better every day but stairs were still beyond her and bending down hurt so all three of us took turns handing her things to hang. When she was worn out she went back and sat down on the couch, watching us. I could feel her eyes on me, and I glanced over several times. She would smile, tears shining in her eyes. She looked worn out, dark circles framing both eyes but she looked happy as she watched us bring holiday cheer to her house.

(Kathryn)

Daniel helped the kids put the rest of the ornaments on the tree, all three of them easy around each other now. I wasn’t sure what changed the dynamic but Tyler had thawed completely, joking and teasing Daniel as much as he did anyone else. It warmed my heart to see them interacting that way. It made me ache for Sean but that ache wasn’t as strong as it was before. I knew he would want me to be happy, to grab love with both hands and hold on tight and that is just what I was going to do.

I watched Daniel bend and pick up one of the totes to take back to storage, and my eyes settled on his arms and the undeniable strength. I remembered those arms lifting me up against the pillar outside the Golden Hearts dinner and I squirmed. We had to wait at least another month before we could do any of that but it didn’t stop me from thinking about it, or him by the darkening of his eyes as he looked at me. We grinned at each other. He stopped to place a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

“Soon my grá. Very soon.” Not soon enough in my opinion. After the tree was done, Lily started hanging the garland and the decorating the mantel. We were keeping it light this year, keeping it strictly in the living area so it was done quickly. Daniel and Tyler carried all the totes back to storage as Lily finished then Tyler cooked dinner. As in he picked up the phone and called for delivery. When the pizza guy arrived Lily answered the door and started squealing.

“Snow!! It’s snowing!!” She grabbed the pizzas, signed the slip then slammed the door in the startled pizza girl’s face. “Come on Momma, come look.” I stood up slowly and walked to the picture window overlooking the busy Manhattan street. It was indeed snowing. The first snow of the year, which always excited Lily. In some ways she was very much still a young girl at heart even though she was closing very quickly on the 18-year mark.

I felt Daniel step up behind me and wrap his arms snugly around my waist. We watched the snow even after Lily and Tyler lost interest and started arguing over whose turn it was to watch TV even though there were at least five other TVs in the house.

“I was going to do this later, I had it all planned out and everything but my grá, this right here is our life. Those two crazy kids arguing over everything, pizza deliver on the table, Christmas tree with a lifetime of ornaments, and the magic of the first snow.” I turned and looked up at him just as he went to one knee right there in front of the picture window; next to the Christmas tree he had just helped the kids decorate. Suddenly and shockingly the kids fell silent as they too looked at Daniel.

“I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I know there is no other woman I will ever love as much as I love you. You stole my heart and sole the first time I saw you in Paris. I can’t go a single day without seeing your smile, having your kisses, or feeling your soft curves against me.” I rolled my eyes and he grinned when the kids made gagging noises. “Please make me the happiest of men and marry me my grá. Forever and always mine.”

I went to my knees in front of him, cupping his face in my hands. “Are you sure you want those two?” We both looked over to where Lily and Tyler continued to make gagging noises causing them both to actually choke on their pizza they were trying to eat simultaneously.

“Is it a take it or leave it type of thing?”

“I am afraid so.”

“Then yes, I wouldn’t want you half as much if they didn’t belong to you as well.” Perfect words from a perfect man.

“Then yes Daniel. I will marry you.” He pulled a vintage engagement ring out of his jeans pocket. It was gold with wispy patterns that made up the band. Instead of the typical diamond it was a sapphire, the exact shade of his eyes when he was about to devour me. “It’s perfect.”

“It was my grandmother’s. She told me once that I needed to save it for the other half of my heart, for the mate to my soul. I should have known it wasn’t going to work when I refused to even let Lynn look at it.” An even more perfect then to say. I let him slip it on my left ring finger, and as I looked down at it, a single tear splashed on top. I felt whole again.

He raised my chin and kissed me gently. I had been broken, but he had had healed me, I was living a half a life before he completed it. I remembered what my father warned about not letting my life depend on one person and it was a lesson I remembered well but in this moment with this man, I didn’t fear anything. I was the single most important thing to him and he had proven that. I was more than enough for the first time in my life and I was going to enjoy every second of it.