Breath Of The Heart (2 page)

He stood next to me, leaning against the counter and his playful brown eyes were waiting for an answer. So much for diverting his attention. I thought to lie and tell him she was dead. That would put an end to the interrogation.

"She had me and took off. Should we bake the potatoes? Add some cheese and onions?"

"Let's barbecue them. Do you keep in touch with her?"

"No. Should I make my own salad dressing or do you think people will want the premade stuff?"

"Premade stuff for the princesses, but I'll try yours if you make it. When's the last time you talked to her?"

"Long time ago. Should you fire up the barbecue?"

"Soon. Why'd she leave?"

I bit on my lower lip. He seemed nice and all, but this conversation had to stop. Now. "I don't like talking about her."

"I know. Why?"

"Because. And if I don't want to talk about her, why do you keep asking?"

"I'm curious, I guess. I think it's strange she took off."

"Well, she did."

"Okay," he said, throwing his hands up to surrender. "I'll respect your wish and I'll start the barbecue."

I watched him as he went outside. A few converged on him and Becca, his princess, leapt to her feet, a look of annoyance on her face. Was she jealous of me? Seriously? They spoke a few words and the light expression he'd been wearing moments ago vanished in an instant.

Two more days with these people. Two long days of pretending to like them. Had it not been for Zach, I would have already written it off. And while I still had a lingering feeling he had some hidden agenda, he did seem like the only one I could trust other than Jake.

I set the table and kept to myself. Zach came in to grab the potatoes and steaks.

"Come out and talk to us," he said.

"In a minute," I lied.

I managed to stall until all the food was ready. I excessively cleaned the kitchen, checked on the cake and sorted through the fridge and pantry. When the group filed in and took their seats, Becca sat across from me at the huge round table and glared. The other princesses begrudgingly admitted my food was great while the princes openly complimented it. Their admiration didn't change my feelings for any of them.

I didn't say much through dinner which no doubt annoyed Jake, but I wasn't as open and outgoing as he was. Except for Zach, these people weren't exactly warm and fuzzy. Most of the conversation centered on someone named Lori and her exploits that included sex in public washrooms, a nasty case of genital warts and a rampant alcohol problem. Hardly a conversation I wanted to insert myself into.

"I'll clean up," I offered.

"Why don't you hang out with us instead," Zach suggested. The hint of a welcoming smile on his face made me consider the offer.

"If she wants to clean up, let her," Becca said. She whined like a five-year-old.

"Why don't you clean up? She was kind enough to make this great dinner. Could you at least appreciate it?"

"It's okay," I said, getting up and taking away plates. "I really don't mind."

"See," Becca said, satisfied.

"Then I'll help," he said.

That wiped away her smile.

Everyone wandered back outside with their drinks, cigars and joints. I groaned. Since when did Jake smoke pot?

"Great dinner," Zach said. "Broccoli was delicious and I don't even like it."

"Why didn't you say something? I could have made something else."

"You had the meal planned out. I didn't want to ruin it."

He loaded up the dishwasher while I tackled the pots and pans. I watched over my shoulder as he haphazardly found places to put the plates. I'd fix it once he was out of eyesight. Rich kids.

"You know, you don't have to help me. Hang out with your friends. I do enjoy cleaning up. I find it relaxing."

"Unlike all the losers outside, I think talking to you is relaxing."

This guy was good. "I think you're feeling sorry for me."

"Not at all. If I didn't want to talk to you, I'd be outside getting wasted."

I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

"Tell me about Emma. This is your first year at Western?"

"Yes. I took last year off."

"Why?"

"I guess I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I still have no idea."

"That's normal."

"What are your plans?"

"Law school. That's what's expected of me."

"Your parents have it all mapped out for you?"

He scratched his head and sighed. "Yes and no. Do they want me to be a lawyer? Absolutely. But if I decided to pursue another dream I think they'd be fine with that too."

"What's your other dream?"

"That's the problem. I don't have one."

I giggled. He was funny. "I wanted to go to culinary school but Grandpa didn't want me to. He didn't think it was the right career. My dad was fine with it." I handed Zach a pot to dry and lamented. "My dream is to have my own bakery. I got a job at Julian's and they have me making pastries and other baked goods."

A rush of adrenaline raced through me. I was giddy telling someone about my job. Other than Jake, Dad and Grandpa, I hadn't told anyone else because there really wasn't anyone to tell. But Zach actually seemed interested.

"That's cool. Good for you."

"I'm baking a couple of times a week and working the odd shift here and there. It'll help pay for rent and other stuff."

"Do you make éclairs? I love them."

"I've only made them a few times. I should try making them for Julian's."

"Text me when you do. I'd love to get a few."

"Let me get my phone and I'll program your number."

I rummaged through my purse and discovered I'd forgotten it. Crap! I usually texted or called Dad every night. I'd have to get a hold of Jake's later. "Forgot it," I said.

"No problem. Give me your number and I'll text you with mine," he said, sliding his phone from out of his pocket. He punched in my number and we finished cleaning up.

"Let's eat cake in here," Zach suggested. "If they want cake they can drag their asses inside and get it themselves."

"Okay. And I know it's not a good pairing, but how about some beers with that cake?"

He grinned. "I like how you think."

He cut two huge slabs of cake and spooned out enormous heaps of vanilla ice cream. We sat back at the huge table and my heart thawed a bit. Zach was normal. This weekend wasn't going to be an entire horror show.

"What high school sport did you excel at? Because you're the type of guy who starred in something."

"Busted. I played high school football but I was an amazing hockey player. I could have played college hockey, but I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with it."

"Are all those teeth yours?"

He gave me a toothy grin. "All mine," he said, tapping on them.

"And you were probably a straight A student?"

"Guilty."

"A million girlfriends? Never single?"

"Am I a cliché?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

He speared a huge chunk of cake and devoured it. "Let me use my crystal ball to figure you out. Bookworm, great student and you played some sports or you work out like crazy because you're in sick shape."

My cheeks burned again. "Tennis."

"Still play?"

"Recreationally only."

"You must have been good."

"Ranked second in the state."

His jaw dropped. "Second in the state?"

"Yeah, but I quit when I was sixteen. My grandma died and I didn't want to compete anymore."

His face took on a more thoughtful tone. "Wow. You must have been really good. Don't you miss it?"

"Not really. It was something Grandma and I did together. She was my biggest cheerleader. With her gone, it didn't feel right anymore."

"But you still play?"

"When I can. I belong to a club and teach kids in the summer."

"Let's play sometime."

"Sure, but prepare to get your ass kicked."

Becca came into the cabin reeking of dope. She stared at both of us and despite her elevated state, she wasn't happy to see us laughing and sharing cake.

"Are you coming outside now?"

"Right away. Got the munchies yet?"

"Fuck off," she spat. She turned back around and went outside.

I glanced over at Zach but he didn't appear to care about her slight. "Well, I guess I better get out there. Are you going to join me?"

"Nah. It's been a long day and I'm kind of tired."

"How did I know you were going to blow us off?"

"You're clairvoyant?"

"I wish. See you in the morning."

I went to the room I shared with Jake, changed, crawled into bed with my book unable to wipe the smile from my face.

Chapter Two

Zach

"What's up with the broad?" Brett asked. We'd finished our last joint and I was taking in the effects.

"Becca?"

Brett blinked a few times. "No, that chick Jake brought."

"Emma? What would be up with her?" I grabbed the bag of Doritos and finished them off.

"You were talking to her a lot. It was pissing off Becca."

Becca had gone to take a shower and everyone else was in bed. It was me and Brett, enjoying a quiet night. "I really don't give a shit what pisses Becca off. I was being nice to someone who cooked for us. Is that horrible?"

Brett's eyes narrowed. "You've got to be kidding. While you were inside being nice to her, we got the low-down from Jake. Poor guy is stuck with this chick the entire year. He didn't sound too happy about it."

"Because Bianca isn't happy about it?"

"Probably."

"I think Emma's all right."

"You don't have to live with her."

Arguing with him was a waste of time. "I'm going to crash. You guys want to wake me up this time? Before taking off?"

Brett gave me a thumbs up and I headed to my room. I got into bed feeling pleasantly buzzed. A few beers, chocolate cake and a joint had a way of making me forget I had to spend the weekend with Becca. She didn't know it yet, but it was going to be our last. I'd already committed to this getaway and didn't feel right doing the deed before the last weekend of the summer.

We nearly made it six months, but only the first few of it had been good. Then the veneer was stripped away and what was underneath hadn't been pretty. I toughed it out all summer long but I couldn't go through a school year with her hanging off me all the time. Sure, she was hot. Fucking hot. But the jealousy and the constant bickering were too much. I'd stuck this one out way too long.

"You were talking to that loser all day," she said, putting an array of creams and potions on her face. The room smelled like a cosmetic counter.

"If you are referring to Emma, she isn't a loser."

"She's a loser. All she wants is to get into Jake's pants. The poor guy is stuck with her all weekend. He's her only friend. That makes her a loser. You should stay away from her."

She talked to me like I had to obey her. When had she got comfortable enough to think I was going to think her way? I didn't mind when a girl called the shots. I even liked it, but not when she was spewing this kind of crap. Becca had made her mind up about Emma before the girl walked through the door. Man, what did I see in this chick? Other than the body she was an empty bottomless pit. Yes, she came from a good family, but I was long past getting involved with girls for their pedigree. "I'm going to consider myself her friend. So now she has two."

Becca rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said and put on what must have been her tenth face cream. "I'm sure she's trying to give him a hand job while we speak."

Two more days. "When you're finished doing whatever it is that you're doing, turn off the light because I'm tired." I put my pillow over my head and tried to block out the light. A few minutes later she got into bed and seconds after that her perfume-laden hands were slithering down my chest. I grasped onto her hand before it reached her desired location. She'd be disappointed with the results. Becca couldn't even get me hard tonight.

"I'm tired. Goodnight."

She abandoned her attempts and grunted a goodnight.

Chapter Three

Emma

I was the first awake. I stole a few minutes staring at a sleeping Jake. His soft breath and contented face was peaceful. I wanted to slip my arms around him but didn't dare. How many times had we slept together since we were kids? Too many to count and not once had he ever made an advance no matter how much I wished for it.

I eased myself out of bed so I wouldn't wake him and decided to extend the olive branch to my fellow cabin mates by putting on a pot of coffee. The smell lulled some from their slumber, mostly the princes who intended to get in some early morning fishing. Jake was one of them. I watched as he walked to the kitchen, bleary-eyed and mumbling a good morning. Zach was the last to make an appearance and I smiled at him and he smiled back and winked. Then a thought occurred to me. What if he thought I was flirting? He was nice and all, easy on the eyes, but I wasn't interested. Besides, he had a girlfriend.

"We got to hurry up if we want to get an early start. Fifteen minutes and I want us out of here," Brett barked.

"I could whip up a quick breakfast," I suggested.

Four pairs of eyes stared at me. Slowly they all nodded in agreement. I went to work cracking eggs and frying bacon. I threw in some toast since there wasn't time for hash browns. None said a word as they wolfed down food and twenty minutes later were all gone. In that time not one of the princesses had stirred. I cleaned up without making a peep because I hoped none would wake up. I had no intention of making any of them breakfast.

I took some peanut butter laden toast, a book, a lawn chair and sat by the lake. A couple of hours passed and I didn't see the princesses. I knew they were all awake and fending for themselves. I didn't even leave them a drop of coffee. By mid-morning a few had ventured outside to sunbathe. None said hello.

Knowing the guys would be back soon, and wanting to get in a quick call to Dad since I'd forgotten the night before, I returned to the cabin. By now all four were outside, all sunbathing in their designer bikinis and perfect, taut bodies. Still no hello. Not to be deterred I decided to speak.

"Hi, everyone."

One head rose and looked at me from behind her sunglasses. She sort of nodded. The rest were silent. I went inside and decided at that moment not to make another attempt to befriend them. What for?

I poured myself a glass of water and looked for Jake's phone. Knowing him like I did, he wouldn't dare take it out on the water and risk losing it. How would he communicate with Bianca? As expected, it was resting next to the bed and I grabbed it. What did he say his password was? I tried a few but to no avail. There wasn't a landline and I wasn't about to ask one of the princesses to borrow a phone. I made a few more attempts and when I was about to give up, it hit me. The last four digits of his grandparent's phone number. I punched it in and mercifully unlocked the phone.

He had several text messages and I assumed most, if not all, were from Bianca. He'd been texting her before he'd fallen asleep. The incessant tapping annoyed the hell out of me.

I dialed the first few numbers to my house when another of her texts popped up.

Bianca: Fishing? I'm soooo bored. That mutt following you around everywhere?

Mutt? I'd never snooped through Jake's phone before, but this text caught my attention. Was she referring to me? Obviously. My heart picked up a few beats and blood pulsed through my veins. I opened up his text messages and scrolled back through at least a couple dozen. What else did she have to say about me?

Bianca: OMG! I am so sick of her. How can you stand that bitch?

Jake: I don't!

Bianca: She stares at you like a fucking creepazoid. So weird like she's going to lock you up in her basement and never let you out.

I scrolled ahead. Nothing I'd seen so far had surprised me.

Bianca: How's your filthy mutt? Still sniffing around your ass?

Jake: She spent lots of time with Zach. What a relief! Poor bastard.

Bianca: Zach is too nice. He's always feeling sorry for disgusting strays.

Jake: Lol.

Bianca: Make sure she doesn't give you fleas.

Jake: Lol. I'll get her a flea collar.

Bianca: Brett's going to have to call in exterminators.

Jake: Or we all have to get vaccinated.

Bianca: LOL. I wish she'd get the hint and leave you alone. Get some friends like a normal human being.

Jake: Even tonight she didn't try to talk to anyone. At least Zach got her off my back for awhile.

Bianca: I would die if I had to spend the weekend with her.

Jake: Worst day of my life was when she got into Western. Just when I thought I got rid of her for good.

Bianca: At least you had one year without the freak.

Jake: But now I'm stuck with her for at least 2 more. I'm going to lose my mind! She drives me crazy!

Bianca: OMG I hate her so much. I wish she'd go away and die somewhere. Kill herself or something. Do us all a favor.

Jake: Lol. Me too.

I stopped reading. Tears were blurring my vision and my body was shaking. Me too? That's all I kept seeing. 'Lol' and 'me too.' He agreed with everything. I was nothing more than a flea-ridden dog, a friendless weirdo. A pariah. I put down the phone and although I was sobbing not a single sound came from me. The ultimate betrayal. My best friend since birth, the person who always looked out for me thought I was a pathetic hanger-on. An albatross. Someone he wished was dead.

I stood up and methodically packed what little I had. My book? Where was my book? I bolted for the kitchen to retrieve it, happy no one was there. I then ran to the bathroom and threw up. I sat on the cold marble floor for minutes, trying to calm myself. Jake, the person I loved most in the world besides Dad and Grandpa, had said and was complicit in all this. I stood up, splashed cold water on my face and refused to look in the mirror. I couldn't face myself.

Then I heard the voices. They were all back. I slipped out of the bathroom and grabbed my backpack and went into the main room. They were all milling around recounting their tales of fishing. Some sprawled out on the two brown leather sofas, others milling in the kitchen with beers.

"Jake," I said.

He didn't hear me above the chatter.

"Jake!"

He turned to look at me, almost irritated that the mutt had interrupted his tales from the high seas. "Yeah?"

"I'm going. Give me the keys."

He saw my backpack and his phone in my hand, but the two weren't adding up. I didn't care. I just wanted to go home, even though my head was pounding and my hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"Why? Something happen? Is everyone okay?"

My Jake. All six feet of him was staring at me, perplexed but still aggravated that I wanted to leave. My once beautiful Jake. The only man in the world I trusted. The only friend I ever needed.

"Can you please give me the keys?"

"Are you all right?" he asked, walking towards me. I took several steps back. Even though I wasn't looking at anyone else, I knew their eyes were on me. They'd all stopped talking and were no doubt wondering what was wrong with the weirdo now.

"The keys?"

"If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm not giving them to you."

"Give me the keys!" I shrieked.

Zach came and stood beside Jake. He was looking at me like I'd just been released from a mental institution. "Hey Emma, what's going on?" he asked, his voice soft with concern.

"I want to go. I want the keys!"

Jake's face hardened. "I don't know what your problem is and I don't really care. Why do you have to ruin everything for me?"

Something came over me, like the Emma I knew had been replaced by someone else and I was nothing more than a spectator. This Emma was tough, a goddess warrior. "I'm sorry, Jake, that I ruin everything for you. And so you know, I don't have fleas, and you don't need a rabies shot either. And this filthy mutt you and Bianca think I am, well, if you give me the fucking keys I'll run away and you'll never have to worry about me again! Lol!"

"Oh, shit," Zach said, cringing. He could see Jake's phone in my hand. He wasn't an idiot. "Jake, what did you say?"

"Say? No, Jake didn't say anything. They texted it to each other. Let me read it for you," I said, tears blinding my attempts to enter in his password. But I was determined and not even a few tears would stop me. "Let me quote my best friend of nineteen years and his stupid girlfriend. Bianca says, make sure she doesn't give you fleas, and my best friend Jake replies, lol, I'll get her a flea collar. Isn't that hilarious? There's more. Bianca says, OMG I hate her so much. I wish she'd go away and die somewhere. Kill herself, or something. Do us all a favor. And Jake says, lol! Me too."

The room fell silent. Not even a snicker from the princesses.

Jake snatched his phone. "You shouldn't have gone through my stuff," he said, shame dripping from his voice.

"I wanted to call my dad," I said between sobs.

Zach came and stood between us. He faced me but I couldn't look up at him. "Emma, I'll take you home. Do you have everything?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"What about me?" Becca protested from the other end of the room.

He grunted, but didn't give her a reply. "I'll meet you at my car, it's a black SUV. I'll grab my stuff and we'll be gone in a few minutes." He turned to Jake. "You're a piece of shit."

I don't remember getting in the car, only sitting on the soft black leather, wiping my eyes with a sweater from my backpack and feeling like my entire life was over. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to Pine Falls and if I never saw Jake again it would be too soon. The humiliation ... it was too much.

Zach climbed into the car, started the engine and drove. For minutes we didn't exchange a word. I was beyond embarrassed and ashamed. What did he think of me now, other than a lot of pity which I hated more than anything. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me.

"That was really shitty," Zach said, breaking the heavy silence.

"Yup. And I wasn't snooping. I forgot my phone." My voice sounded small and defeated. I hated showing weakness.

"I know. You don't have to justify it to me."

"Were they all making fun of me?"

"No one was saying much of anything. I grabbed my gear and took off."

I wanted to be sick. My stomach churned and I closed my eyes trying to catch my erratic breath. What would I tell Dad and Grandpa? They'd want to know why I was home. If I didn't tell Dad the truth, he'd see right through me and I didn't want what Jake did to affect Dad's friendship with Uncle Ron. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned my cheek against the cold passenger side window. What if I threw up in Zach's car?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Zach asked, glancing over.

"I'm fine," I managed to get out.

"You say that, but you can't stop tapping your foot on the floor and you're kind of bouncing in the seat like a bomb that's about to go off."

I gulped in another deep breath. "I don't know what I'm going to tell my dad."

"I'd go with the truth. Your dad should know what an asshole Jake is."

I stole a peek at Zach. He had the beginnings of a scruffy face and it looked good on him. His dark eyes were warm and trusting and I hated that. I hated trusting him.

"The thing is that Jake's brother, my Uncle Ron, is Dad's best friend."

Zach's eyebrows furrowed and by his bewildered expression I knew he was computing and calculating my statement. "Are you Jake's cousin?"

"No, I just call him Uncle Ron. He and Dad are best friends from high school."

He nodded but the befuddled expression remained. "If your dad and your uncle are best friends, how does that work? How is everyone related?"

Here it came, the explanation I hated. Zach would then view me like a lab experiment gone wrong and his demeanor would change because he'd have a reason for my weirdness. "Here's my deal. My birth mother and Dad weren't careful and she got pregnant when they were fourteen. She and her family wanted her to have an abortion, but my grandparents refused. She had me and basically handed me off to them and went on with the rest of her life. My dad and grandparents raised me. Uncle Ron is Jake's oldest brother."

I waited for a reaction, but didn't get one.

"That's kind of cool. So your dad is what? Thirty-four? It must be awesome having a young dad."

I scratched my head. Why didn't he think it was strange? How come he didn't pass judgment on me, my dad and grandparents like most people did? "I guess so. My dad's pretty great."

"That explains why your mom isn't around."

"Yup."

"That also explains why you don't want to tell your dad. I still say tell the truth."

I bit on my fingernails. I couldn't do it. Dad and Uncle Ron were like me and Jake, well, what I thought Jake and I were. "I need to think about this."

"What's your gut telling you?"

"To go home for a week or so. I'll come up with something to tell my dad."

"Bad idea. You go home, I bet you won't come back. Take a few days to think it through. If you need to, you can crash at my place."

What I really wanted to do was go home. "Thanks for the offer. I'll keep it in mind."

"What Bianca said in those texts was out of jealousy. I'm sure it eats her up that you and Jake are so close. As an outsider looking in, I can see how much you care for the guy, but I also see how much he loves her. He already threw you under the bus. If he was any kind of man, he would have come after you and apologized."

"I know."

We didn't say much else for the rest of the ride. I gave him the directions to my apartment and he walked me to the front door.

"Look Emma, if you need anything, call me. My offer still stands for a place to stay. I've got an empty bedroom and everything. I sent you a text that way you have my number. Text or a call later so I know you're okay."

"I will. And thanks."

I went inside to the elevator. The moment I stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind me the tears flowed. I had no friends, no Jake and I couldn't turn to Dad. I had nothing.