Breath of Memory (5 page)

“Why the hell would the Council let this thing be assembled if it takes power away from them?”

“The Council is the reason we can use magic in the first place. They channel the Mother’s gifts to all of us, and they’re the reason we can even take these forms. Like it or not, we need them, but millenia ago, they learned the concentrated flow of their power into dragonkind made things too easy for us to assert our dominance over humanity.”

He cupped his hands around his mouth and exhaled a breath. A dark, shimmering cloud emerged and coalesced into a perfect small sphere. While Corey watched, it floated slowly through the air straight at his chest.

“The Verdanith merely concentrates the flow of power. Think of it as a prism. If the prism is in fragments, the sunlight is scattered, lacking focus and causing the beams to illuminate more dispersed areas.”

Before the sphere reached Corey, Rafe expelled another breath that arranged itself in a shimmering grid in the path of the sphere. The sphere passed through, splitting into pieces that bounced with stinging collisions against his skin, each piece dissipating after impact.

“Things are different now—dragonkind is different. Once the Verdanith is assembled, the concentrated flow of magic will return. The intent of our magic may be different than what you witnessed, but it would require less time and effort to achieve what we want, including making children.”

Rafe placed a large, gentle hand against Jill’s bare stomach. “Changing our laws is another story entirely, however, but this is the first step to prove to the Council how different our goals are than they were three millennia ago.”

“What were they then?” Corey asked. He remembered his first impression of dragons when he’d met Racha and imagined a throng of horny, flying beasts taking over the world and turning humanity into a horde of sex-crazed breeding stock. He knew better than that now.

Rafe grinned. “Burning villages, stealing livestock, demanding virgin sacrifices in exchange for our protection of a kingdom’s citizens. Essentially wreaking general mayhem and fear among humans in order to force them to give up their most prized sons and daughters to serve our
particular
appetites. That is, until the dragon and human populations became unbalanced. After the Council dismantled the Verdanith and scattered its pieces, it became safer for us to hide among humans because they stopped hunting us out of fear. Over the centuries it became preferable. Now I don’t believe there’s a dragon alive who would do things differently. Humanity is no longer in danger of extinction at the hand of dragonkind. Quite the contrary—our numbers have dwindled to a dangerous level. If we want to survive, the hibernation needs to be abolished and we need to be allowed the power to breed at a faster rate. This would mean forgiveness for all the Unbound dragons in the world, in the process.”

“Does Racha know this? She’s never expressed any other agenda besides assembling the thing so we can start a family.”

“She does, but she wouldn’t speak about it, even to you. Her knowledge of Aris’s unborn child is enough of a risk without her suggesting treason. She’s the Queen, so her position is difficult. She must protect and see to the needs of the brood while upholding our highest laws. When you do talk to her, be careful what you say. Not out of any mistrust, mind you. Just don’t put her in a position that might force her to betray the Court’s confidence.”

Corey raked his fingers through his hair and looked at Jill. She sat rubbing the back of her neck, lost in her own thoughts and seemingly oblivious to how alluring she looked. She was still naked with her hair a glorious tangled halo around her head and the sheets of the bed crumpled around her hips. He’d always loved how she looked when freshly fucked, but quashed the returning urge to make love to her yet again.

He had to talk to Racha again before he could figure out what to do. His motivation for sending Jill away seemed meaningless now, but if he had jeopardized Racha’s feelings in any way, he would never forgive himself for losing so much control. It would be a challenge to never openly mention Jill’s child, or once it was born, to pretend it was
his
and not Racha’s father’s. Could he even pull that off? Could he introduce another man’s offspring to his mother as her grandchild?

At least he wasn’t alone in his own uncertainty. The other members of Erika’s team and their Court lovers all had either alluded to or outright confessed that they had different agendas for wanting the Verdanith assembled. After hearing Rafe’s story, he was sure many more of the Brood probably had similar ideas. The best thing he could do was to help Racha manage things until Erika found the final piece. The first way to accomplish that was to make sure Jill was safe and comfortable.

The decision made, he finally found the calm determination he needed to move forward. This was something Racha needed him to do, and he’d grown comfortable with that pattern of action over the past six months, helping her get settled in her position as CEO of her father’s company. Doing the same for Jill should be no different, though he was still apprehensive about it. As enthusiastic as Racha had been on-screen earlier, she’d cut the feed before he could find out if he’d damaged their relationship by not following through the way he’d said he would.

“Rafe, did you speak to Racha at all after…” He struggled to find the words.
After I failed to do as she asked
.

“I did. She was due to speak with the Council again and gave her regrets. She said to tell you she misses you.” He stood and walked toward the open door. Partway there he turned back, as though he’d remembered something else. “Jealousy is rarely an emotion dragons feel, you know. We’re more inclined toward indifference when our feelings are hurt, which can be more damaging. Mostly we are accepting and fearless. Queens are trained to be that way, of course, but that mark of yours and the power you spent today tells me you mean more to her than you realize. It tells me Jill means just as much to you. The sooner you give yourself up to those feelings, the better off you will be.”

Rafe slipped his jacket over his shoulders, then gave Corey a salute as he walked out the door. “Good luck, friend. I have to go talk to a Guardian.”

Chapter 6

J
ill stood in the bathroom with a hand mirror aimed at the back of her neck, trying to see the mark that tingled there. The blazing green glow caught the reflection and she held the mirror still, staring in wonder at the new mark that had replaced the small red medallion-shape Aris had given her over a year ago.

She’d loved the tiny magical tattoo and made a point to wear her hair up when she was with him. It had only been about the size of a silver dollar, situated just at the base of her hairline. The new mark was an almost identical pattern, but now reached all the way across to each shoulder and from her hairline down to the small, protruding knob of her vertebra between her shoulders.

How the hell had Corey done it? He wasn’t even a dragon. Everything that had happened after their last go-round was a blur. She’d struggled to process it all, but the realization that Aris’s child now resided inside her had overwhelmed every other emotion or thought. With a valiant effort of will, she had succeeded in holding her tears at bay. Partly happiness over having a part of him to hold onto, partly in grief over Corey’s sudden and unexpected rejection after everything he had said.

“Goddamn you!” She smashed the hand mirror against the counter, surprising herself with the strength and ferocity of her anger. The sight of all the slivers of glass reflecting her shattered life made her double over and sob harder.

A pair of strong arms slipped around her from behind. She sank back, lost and in need of the comfort, but tensed and spun when she realized who it must be.

“You succeeded in destroying me, are you happy now?” she yelled, punching her fists into Corey’s chest. “I’m getting the fuck out of here. Tell Racha I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her about the baby when she’s back.”

She pulled against his embrace, but he refused to release her. His jaw was set, his eyes hard and determined. “You’re not leaving, Jill.”

“
Don’t
fucking tell me what to do, you bastard. I went through this goddamn day to have one last moment of joy before you threw me away. I believed I deserved it, but you couldn’t even let me have that. You fucking ruined it because now I’m stuck with a man who only pretends to love me. Rafe would have never pretended, but he’d at least respect me.”

“Jill, it isn’t about you and me, I promise you. You have to stay. I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. You don’t even have to see me. But for the safety of your baby, Racha would want you here.”

She’d heard enough of the conversation to know he was right and sagged against him. She hated how sweet he was being now, especially because of how easily she responded to his comfort. It was just their bond. The Godforsaken dragon bond they had, as if he were her mate. For life.

“I’ve got to get the fuck away from you.” She turned and ran, picking up her scattered clothing and purse on her way through the bedroom.

“Jill!” His quick footsteps followed her to the landing of the balcony outside the master bedroom.

“Shut up! I’m not leaving. Just… leave me alone alright? And show me where I can stay.” She still refused to look at him, and headed to one of the guest rooms he indicated—the farthest from where they’d been today. She shut herself in and locked the door, then collapsed into a crying mess on the bed.

It was the middle of the night when she calmed down enough to venture out. When she opened the door she found a pair of suitcases outside with a note taped to them. “Food in fridge. Gone to Mom’s. Call me.”

“Man of few words. What’s new, asshole.”

She lugged her suitcases into the room and tossed them on the bed. Inside she found all her favorite clothes. Not the things she’d always worn with Aris. He had preferred her in more elegant attire than jeans and a t-shirt. No, her suitcases were packed with the things she’d worn with Corey. Clothes she hadn’t worn
since
Corey, as a matter of fact. She dug through, increasingly astounded at his choices. She found the one set of lingerie he’d said was his favorite—red lace that he told her made her fair skin and blond hair seem surreal to him. The pair of jeans he liked her in most. The socks he said he’d hated, but knew she loved because they were so comfortable. She’d worn red more often with him because he told her the one time how good she looked in it. She’d worn red for Aris, too, because it matched her mark, but every time she did, she thought of Corey.

The last thing he’d ever given her was tucked at the bottom of the second suitcase. A red silk scarf with brilliant embroidery that he’d picked up in China after he’d left. It had been months since she had ended things with him when she received it. She’d hidden it, still in the package, in her underwear drawer along with his note.

She unfolded the fabric and a small slip of paper fluttered to the floor. She knew what it said before picking it up to read it.
The world and circumstances might tear us away from those we love, but I will always have faith that love is possible.

She wiped tears from her eyes and lay the scarf on the bed, then went to shower.

After finding more than enough food in the well-stocked kitchen on the first floor, she went back to bed. Loneliness had become a habit for her since Aris died, but she’d had her own apartment to comfort her then. All her own belongings—knicknacks collected over the years. Here she only had darkness and unfamiliar sounds. She longed for home, but more than that she longed for a pair of strong arms to hold her. A solid body to weigh down the other side of the bed. Firm hands to touch her.

She scrambled out of the blankets and felt around the end of the bed for the one thing she thought would comfort her. The silk brushed against her fingers and she grabbed it.

She lay back down with the scarf crumpled under her cheek and breathed deeply. She imagined she could smell him on it. Maybe he had worn it for a little while as he wrote that note. Maybe he’d even carried it on him for a time until he could find a place to mail it. She tried to imagine everything he’d experienced since they’d parted, including how he and Racha had met. A seduction like Aris’s seduction of her? She doubted Corey would have fallen for that like she had. Yet he and Racha were together, and he was tearing himself to pieces over his love for her… a mere human.

No. Corey wouldn’t have given in unless he believed he could love Racha. She must have done something spectacular to accomplish that. Jill respected Racha for capturing his attention. Of course the Dragon Queen had to be the least pretentious woman Jill had ever met, in spite of how beautiful she was. That would have attracted Corey, too. And she was a good kisser.

Jill rolled over onto her back, remembering the kiss. She’d been surprised, of course. She’d gone to meet the new boss. The daughter of her old lover, and the person who could keep her alive. It had been business in her mind. The kiss Racha had given her at the end of their conversation had been her undoing. It left her vulnerable to Corey, moments later in the elevator. And all that followed.

But that kiss had been so sweet, so gentle. Such a perfect mix of urgent need and love. Acceptance and fearlessness. Racha had sensed her hesitation and pulled away, but Jill had been left with the feeling of being intimate with Aris again, along with an old lover and a new one. All three of them rolled into one kiss.

She fell asleep with her thumb caressing the same nipple Racha had touched, in an effort to evoke that same feeling again. Acceptance. Fearlessness.

Jill called in sick to work on Monday. She didn’t want to chance seeing Corey, but had what she needed where she was. She’d texted him that she needed her laptop, and at some point in the early morning he’d delivered it without her knowing. She could work anywhere, provided she had an internet connection.

Being confined at the moment suited her, at least as long as he was avoiding her. In a day or two she’d hopefully be brave enough to slink back to reality, but for now her mind was entirely occupied with old memories and thoughts of a child she’d already carried for months but who still wouldn’t have a chance at life unless she stayed put.

Corey remained absent for the next week. Some mornings she’d wake up and find gifts with short notes. Hollow gestures, she thought, as she stared at each one when she found them. Her favorite eggs Benedict from the restaurant they’d eaten at after making love all night their first weekend together.

One evening she only vacated the main room long enough to work out and shower, but came back to a bowl of chocolate-covered peanut butter pretzels and a bottle of champagne. Their celebration the night before their last morning together.

She finally remembered the camera in the bedroom that first night and wondered if there were others around the apartment. He must be watching her to know her every movement during the day. It didn’t bother her. She’d always been private about her personal life, but he
was
her personal life, and they’d shared everything when they were together.

The realization was cathartic for her. She didn’t go looking for the cameras, though. She did other things.

She masturbated in the shower that night, thinking about him watching her. She did it with no fanfare, losing herself quickly to the feel of her fingers between her legs, swiftly rubbing, and her soapy caress of her nipples.

She went to bed and fell asleep almost instantly after that, smug and satisfied.

The next day, she was determined to walk around naked all day. She put her hair up first, knowing he’d be able to see her mark as clear as day. Halfway through the day she got bored and fell asleep on the sofa after getting herself off again.

The following morning she awoke to a steaming breakfast of artisan sausages and potatoes. The note was pinned with a toothpick into one of the sausages.
Don’t you do anything but masturbate all day?

She flipped the piece of paper over and wrote back. “Only when you’re watching.” She snagged one of the sausages in her bare fingertips and took a huge bite, letting the juices run down her chin. She ate the rest of her breakfast with her fingers, enjoying the hedonistic quality of torturing him just a little. She briefly contemplated doing other things with the last sausage. She even went so far as to trace its tip over her nipples and trail the greasy length down her belly, but the first salty taste her pussy had of it told her it was a bad idea, so she just ate it instead. She added to the note, “More food to masturbate with, please.”

Breakfast the next day consisted of a basket of fruit. She looked through it, finding bananas, mangos, strawberries. And a large cucumber. The obvious divergence from the theme made her laugh.
“Don’t go hungry, please,”
was all the note said.

She took her time with the fruit, though. She pulled out a bowl, trimmed the berries, peeled the bananas, cut the mangos. The cucumber she washed but left alone otherwise.

Sitting in her chair she picked each piece, tested it for stability once with her mouth, then worked it into her pussy as slowly as possible. She rubbed her clit with it for good measure before tossing it into the bowl. She had no idea whether he’d follow through with this little game, but if he was willing to follow her leads, she’d follow his and hope he was up to the contest.

Each sliver of fruit went into a new bowl after visiting her deepest depths. She saved the cucumber for last.

She kissed it once for effect, and licked its tip before placing it against her spread labia. The thing was easily as thick as Corey, though shaped differently. She wished for the curve of his cock, but she’d have to make do with this inanimate object. The memory of Aris’s cock popped into her head just then. He’d had an oddly straight and symmetrical cock, but had wielded it like a weapon. She always had the sense of herself as his opponent whose weaknesses had yet to be revealed when they were in bed together. But he’d known exactly what to do with his cock.

Corey, on the other hand, was made just right to start with. She fit his cock like a glove, every inch of him always felt amazing inside her no matter how he moved.

She shifted the cucumber so it pressed against her most sensitive places, mimicking what Aris might do, but still wishing for Corey. A slight rub, teasing at her slick folds, sliding up to swirl tiny circles around her clit, then back down again. First the tip in, testing like a hot bath. Then going for broke and plunging in all the way, making her cry out.

“Oh fuck!” She hadn’t meant to actually say it out loud, but she was so surprised at the way it made her feel, she couldn’t help it. But it felt good. And she hadn’t had something that solid and thick inside her for days. Fuck strawberries. Her fingers were more adept. The cucumber might not feel just like him, but it would make her come. She gripped her breast when the surge began. “Oh fuck. Oh yeah. Ah. Corey! Corey!” It was all incoherent syllables to her, though they came back to her a moment later. She pulled the cucumber out of her and tossed it into the bowl. What the fuck had she been thinking? Masturbating in front of him with fruit. Boredom was making her a little bit crazy. She sat up and looked at the bowl. What was he gonna do,
eat it?
Eat the fruit that she’d done the deed with while thinking of him. Okay…worse things could happen, and the thought did arouse her.

She shoved the bowl of illicit produce into the fridge and went to take another shower, making a point to cleanse even the deepest crevices. “Don’t want any fruit diseases,” she muttered while aiming the showerhead up her vagina.

She shouldn’t make him eat it. The thought occurred to her in the middle of the night after she woke up. She ran down to the kitchen, but the bowl was gone already.

She stared into the empty fridge, muttering a curse.

The next day her breakfast was a fruit salad, with … diced cucumber. The note read,
Just thought I’d share, since you were so generous.

She succumbed to her curiosity for only a moment. Maybe he’d made it from fresh fruit? She took one bite then tossed the rest in the trash.

Boredom was the worse prison than simply being confined. The intense longing she felt for him in the midst of it was torture. She wasn’t strong. Not enough to resist him. His little gifts over the last week left her with no doubt that he still wanted her. And she was still living alone in the apartment he shared with his new lover. She assumed he’d have let her know the moment he learned Racha was returning.