Breaking the Silence (19 page)

“I’m going to rip apart your insides, little girl.” His hot breath hit her face. She tried to break the paralysis, to turn and run, but she could only scream inside her head as the grinning death face came closer and closer, until all she could smell was blood.

Jenny woke sitting up, a shrill noise in her ears and throbbing pain in her arms. Will was in front of her, his face close to hers, saying—something. She couldn’t hear him because of the screaming.

Such a loud noise
, she thought, her brain halfway between nightmare and consciousness.

She realized that the screams were coming from her and stopped abruptly on an inhaled choke, not sure if she was crying or just couldn’t breathe. Will, his face starkly white in the dim light, was gripping her upper arms, pressing into her bruises, and Jenny shoved at his forearms as she struggled to breathe.

He resisted the push for a moment but realization struck his face as he looked at the indentations of his fingers in the knit of her sweatshirt. He released her, his hands suspended an inch above her shoulders, as if he were trying to hold her without touching her, without hurting her.

“Sorry,” Will said, studying her face, his eyes wary. “Are you awake?”

She nodded, letting out a shuddering gasp of air. Jenny almost had this breathing thing down again. “Bad dream,” she croaked, her voice breaking in the middle.

“Figured.” A little color was creeping back into his cheeks. “You wouldn’t wake up. You were just staring through me and screaming.”

“Sorry,” Jenny sighed, rubbing her eyes with both hands, letting her fingers slide into her hair and wincing when they hit the forgotten bump. Will was still kneeling in front of her, his hands hovering.

“Do you need…something?” he asked.

“Yeah—amnesia.” Jenny flopped back against the bed and then gave a little groan. “Ow.” Will settled next to her on one elbow, his eyes still fixed on her face.

“No, I meant something like…I don’t know…warm milk?”

Jenny looked at him in horror. “Warm milk? That’s disgusting.”

“Water?”

Jenny shook her head a little. Her body was exhausted, crying for rest, but her thoughts jumped wildly, resisting sleep, the images of her fear still too vivid to risk another dream.

“Just hold me, okay?” she asked quietly.

Will reached toward her but stopped before he touched her. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, his eyes haunted.

She rolled onto her side toward him, shifting closer with a small wince. Tucking herself against him, she fit her body into his, her head nestled where his shoulder and arm met, one leg stacked between his, her hip folded into his stomach. When she could feel his heat surrounding her, she relaxed her muscles until she molded against him.

Will tentatively encircled her waist with his arm, his hand flattening on her back. He pressed his face into her tangled hair, wrapping her in his body as gingerly as possible. The muscles in his arm quivered with the need to tighten around her but he resisted the urge to clutch her to him. He breathed her in, smelling the residue of hospital that still clung above her usual scent.

The feel of Jenny made the blood rush to his cock. Will sucked in his breath, trying to quell his thickening erection, feeling like a beast for getting excited. How could his body be thinking about sex, he wondered in self-disgust, when she lay so trustingly against him, battered and bruised, still sticky with sweat from her nightmare?

Will tried to will his lust away but Jenny’s soft body resting against him, her breath stirring the hair on his chest, hardened his cock even more. He tried to move his lower body away from her but Jenny, half asleep, made a soft, disgruntled noise and tugged on the side of his hip, urging him back against her.

Sighing, Will complied. He stared at the dim outlines of the room and gritted his teeth, desire humming through his body and frying his nerve endings. He smiled, a humorless grimace. For years he had gone without sex but one week with Jenny had made him insatiable. As her limp body slept against him, Will lay wide awake, vibrating with need.

Jenny slept most of the next day. She woke several times, disoriented and groggy, to find Will propped up in bed next to her working on his laptop and Rosie sleeping against her feet. Jenny got up long enough to go to the bathroom or eat some chicken noodle soup that Will made but it wasn’t long before her body was crying out for bed. She didn’t mind. After the first nightmare her sleep had been deep and heavy, and unconsciousness was better than having to be awake and think about what had happened.

Late that afternoon, the cell phone ring woke Jenny.

“It’s Christian,” Will told her, handing her the phone. “Sorry. I tried to grab it before it woke you up. I should have switched it to vibrate after your mom called.”

“That’s okay. I’ve been sleeping too much anyway.” Jenny took it and talked to Christian lying down, curled on her side. “Hey, Chris.”

“Jenny! How are you feeling? Is the big guy taking good care of you?” His voice was muted—she could tell that he was calling her from work.

“Okay. Sleepy. Yes. Did I miss any questions?”

“Nope, you got them all. Plus I think you answered one that I didn’t even ask. Everyone here sends sympathy, get-well wishes, thoughts, prayers—basically everything that can be sent.”

Jenny hadn’t even let herself think about work—or Evan’s empty cubicle. She cringed at the thought of going back, enduring the glances—pitying, curious, malicious? She didn’t know what everyone was thinking or what monster the gossip pipeline had belched out by now. Still, it was her job and she would have to go back eventually. The idea of it was overwhelming—all she wanted to do was sleep.

“Jen?”

“Sorry. Spaced out for a second there. Did the boss ask when I’d be back?” Jenny asked.

“No. Everyone’s walking on eggshells around any mention of you or…well, of you or what happened, although I’m sure the boss is scrambling with you gone and…” Christian trailed off.

“You can say his name, you know.”

“It’s just so crazy,” Christian told her. “For this to have happened. For Evan to be…gone and you to be just out of the hospital. I mean, it seemed like such a normal office—in its normally dysfunctional way of course.”

“Yeah.” Jenny closed her eyes and wished she could close her ears as well. Sleep pulled at her with greedy hands and she let Christian’s chatter lull her back into unconsciousness.

Will gently lifted the phone from Jenny’s limp hand and put it to his own ear. Christian was in the middle of some story or another.

“So I told Ted that he should—”

“Christian.” Will interrupted the flow of words.

“Will? What happened to Jenny?”

“Asleep.”

“Oh.” Christian paused. “Should I be insulted?”

“No. She fell asleep during her mom’s call too, only faster.”

“Oh. Should I be worried then?”

Will studied Jenny’s sleeping face. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t know what’s normal.”

“I would think that lots of rest is probably a good thing.” Christian sighed. “I don’t really know what normal is either, but I would give her a couple more days of sleeping before getting too concerned.”

Will was silent.

“How are you doing?” Christian asked tentatively.

“Me?”

“Well, I would think it would be pretty traumatic—with what happened to Jenny and you walking in on that and then Evan getting killed. It just seems like a lot for you to deal with.”

Will stared unseeing at his laptop keyboard, his hand tightening around the phone. “I can’t think about it—not now,” he said finally.

“Okay,” Christian said. “I know that I’m just a friend of Jenny’s who you kindly put up with but if you need anyone to talk to—someone besides Jenny of course—feel free to give me a buzz. And it’s not like we’re strangers or anything. After all, we did sleep together.”

“Thanks,” Will said awkwardly.

“Sure. Have Jen give me a call when she feels up to it. And tell her that she has done untold damage to my self-esteem by falling asleep in the middle of one of my best stories.”

“Okay,” Will agreed with a chuckle. He snapped the phone shut and slid it onto the dresser. Will glanced down at Jenny’s sleeping face. Her forehead was mottled with a multicolored bruise and her lip was still swollen. He brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped the back of her head with his hand for a moment, feeling the delicate contours of her skull. She was so small and fragile that Will felt a rush of delayed fear—how had she survived Evan’s violence?

He would protect her, he vowed. He would make up for letting her get hurt. Nothing like that would ever happen to her again.

When she woke up early the next morning, Jenny felt an intense, itchy need to shower. Brushing her hair had been a painful ordeal with her bruised head, so now it was a knotted, tangled mess. She detached herself from Will’s enveloping body, noticing as she brushed against the front of his sweatpants that he had a raging erection. Jenny didn’t know how she felt about that—all she knew was that she did not want to think about penises in any form yet, so she shoved it from her brain with some effort.

She stood tentatively, carefully easing onto legs shaky from the long stint in bed. Except for a mild swirl of dizziness, Jenny felt much better. Her bruises were still tender but the worst of the soreness had faded from her muscles. A slight throb was all that remained of her pounding headache.

As she slowly undressed in the bathroom, Jenny purposefully avoided looking at the mirror. From what she could feel of her hair and body, she knew that her reflection would
not
be a pleasant sight. She tested the shower temperature with her hand before stepping beneath the spray, feeling the sting of water hitting her scrapes. Soaping her body carefully, she resisted the urge to scrub hard against her skin.

Rubbing yourself raw will not help
, Jenny told herself firmly. Nothing she did in the shower could clean Evan’s taint from her, nothing would empty her mind of the horror as his hard, vile flesh tried to force its way into her.

Jenny leaned her sore forehead against the tile, concentrating on pushing back the memories and replacing them with the cold ache of the shower wall against her bruise. She took a deep breath, moist from the steam, and reached for the shampoo determinedly. Washing her hair was harder than she’d expected. Although her muscles were not as sore as they had been a few days before, they still protested any movement. Jenny was gritting her teeth, trying to force her shaking arms to stay up long enough to work the shampoo through her hair, when the shower door slid open. Her head whipped around at the sound.

“Can I help?” Will asked, standing uncertainly right outside the shower, his drawstring pajama pants hanging low on his hipbones.

Need won out over modesty and Jenny nodded. “The shampooing part is still a little tough,” she said, gesturing at her head and then grimacing a little as the movement pulled at her shoulder. His eyes flicked once down her body and then returned to her face and stayed. Will moved to step into the shower.

“Aren’t you going to take those off?” Jenny pointed at his pajama pants.

Will hesitated.

“Off,” she ordered, flicking her hand at his legs. “I think we’ve passed the point of showering while clothed.”

Nodding, he shucked off the pants and stepped into the shower. Jenny glanced quickly at his swollen erection and then away. She felt guilty about dropping her gaze—she liked Will’s cock. It was a perfectly nice penis. In fact, in her opinion, it was outstanding. She had willingly taken it into her hand, her mouth, her pussy, even her ass, just a few days earlier.

There is nothing similar between Will and Evan
, she told herself firmly. They were completely different, just as Evan’s attack was nothing like Will’s lovemaking. It pissed her off that, even dead, Evan still had this power over her, to make her afraid of Will’s lovely cock.

Defiantly, Jenny forced her gaze back down to Will’s groin. She didn’t think she was capable, either mentally or physically, of kneeling in front of him yet but she could touch him, couldn’t she? She tried it, reaching out and brushing the underside with a quick finger. Will sucked in a breath and froze, all muscles still, which emboldened Jenny to try again, this time a light touch to the tip.

His cock darkened even more and bobbed in entreaty. At that surge of excitement, like an eager puppy, Jenny felt some of the tension in her stomach release and she tried two fingers against his balls this time. Will groaned, the sound so low that it was just a vibration in his chest, reverberating down his body until she felt the movement against her fingertips. She glanced at him anxiously but his utter stillness reassured her enough to wrap her fingers around his cock, holding him with the lightest of touches.

His hips jerked toward her and Jenny dropped the contact, startled.

“Sorry, sorry!” Will gasped, pulling away from her until his back was wedged into a corner of the shower.

“It’s okay,” Jenny murmured, reaching for him again. And it was. The fascination with him, with his huge, hard cock, was returning and his care not to touch her made it somehow safe. Her fingers wrapped around his flesh more firmly this time and Will hissed between his teeth.

“You don’t have to…” he gritted out, his eyes closed and the back of his head pressed against the shower wall.

Jenny slid her hand to the tip and ran her thumb around the head.

“Oh Jesus,” Will panted. “I can’t make it stop! I can’t stop wanting you.”

“Will. It’s
okay
.” She traced a spiral with her fingertips to the base of his erection and let her fingers comb through the blond hair there, scratching lightly with her nails.

“Fuck!” His body jerked again but it didn’t bother her this time. She wrapped both of her hands around his hot, hot shaft and pumped up and down, sliding easily against his slick skin. Will’s hips thrust in rhythm, bumping her encircling fist against him and then almost pulling the tip from her grasp. Jenny felt her pussy begin to heat, to moisten, sparked by an arousal that she had been so afraid was tainted and ruined. A rush of relief hit her, making her tighten her grip around Will. His body arched in a rigid bow as he came, spurting on her belly.

Jenny stroked him gently and released his softening cock with a little pat, which made Will smile. He entwined his fingers with hers and rested his head lightly against her shoulder, careful not to hurt her. He wanted to clutch her to him and bury his face against her neck but he resisted the urge, more than happy with what she had given him.

He breathed in her fragrance. When he had picked up her clothes from her house he had also packed the entire collection of bottles from her shower, so she smelled like herself again, the hospital odor gone.

Will remembered his hair-washing duties and raised his head. He kissed her nose softly and was rewarded with a smile. He glanced at the multitude of products now populating his shower and his eyebrows drew together.

“Which one?” he asked. Jenny handed him a bottle.

“Cleansing serum? What the hell is ‘cleansing serum’?” he asked, eyeing the label suspiciously.

“Shampoo,” Jenny told him, turning her back to him and tipping her head to give him access to her hair.

“Why don’t they just call it that then?” he grumbled, working some into her hair. He massaged her scalp with his fingers, forgetting about her sore bumps until she yelped.

“Sorry,” he told her and lightened his touch. Turning her back to the spray, he rinsed out the suds, reaching over her shoulders to separate the strands and let the water wash away the last traces of shampoo.

“Done,” Will said with satisfaction—but Jenny handed him another bottle with a smirk. This one was “conditioning balm”. It was harder to work in since it didn’t bubble up, but it gave her wet hair a slick feel that he liked as it slid through his fingers. Will turned her around again so he could rinse her hair, tipping her head back to keep water out of her eyes. Smoothing his hand from her hairline to the ends clinging to the small of her back, Will absently moved closer to her, concentrating on finger combing the strands.

Jenny felt like a well-stroked cat. His blunt fingers worked against her scalp and lower, brushing her back as he worked out the tangles. When he shifted closer, his erection, as hard and hot as before, pressed against her stomach. Jenny stiffened instinctually but gradually relaxed as Will continued to work on her hair. Remembering his gentle care of her, his offer of hot milk, of all things, after her nightmare, his constant presence while she slept—it was hard to be wary of any part of him.

She softened her muscles, easing against him, and his strong body began to feel comforting, even the stiff pressure of his cock where she cradled him against her body.

They had stayed in the shower until the water had gone cold. Jenny figured that they must hold the record for longest showers ever taken. After drying off, she sat on the bed wrapped in a towel. Will knelt on the mattress next to her, his pajama pants back on, carefully combing her hair with a look of serious concentration that made her want to laugh. And cry. And if she had one more mood swing, she was going to…well, do something drastic. Closing her eyes, Jenny relaxed into the rhythm of the comb.

Will stopped after one last stroke of his hand. Jenny’s hair flowed smooth and untangled, fat curls pulling upward as they dried. He noticed her closed eyes.