Breaking the Rules: The Honeybees, book 1 (11 page)

“This is his first time at the beach,” Devin said. “Let’s see what he thinks of the salt water.”

Taco hit the incoming wave at full speed, letting his mouth hang open and seeming to bite the water. Then he froze abruptly, sneezed three times in rapid succession, and trotted back toward us. Devin snorted with laughter and I started laughing too, and soon neither of us could stop. It was as though we had the beach to ourselves; no one else around us mattered. It was just the two of us and our dog, standing there on the beach, slightly buzzed from the wine, laughing harder and harder, and every time I thought we were done glancing at the other’s face and starting in all over again.
 

Devin reached out and grabbed my arm as though to steady himself, his eyes tearing up from the laughter, and the warmth of his hand spread through my whole body.
 

Does he…? Could he…?
I hardly dared wonder. A guy like Devin, so free and spontaneous? With a girl like me, so precise and planned?

And then the moment was past and the two of us were stepping into the water-logged sand at the edge of the water, sinking down into it before the salt water rushed over our feet and then retreated, leaving hints of foam on our toes. Taco came back, and he’d found a stick. Tentatively, as though worried about getting his paws dirty, he trotted out to Devin, looking up at him eagerly. Devin took the stick and threw it down the shore for Taco, who raced after it.
 

I ventured in a little farther, and after a few throws Taco got bored with Devin and brought the stick to me. I was touched. I threw it for him, and got so caught up in watching him run after it and then bound back into the waves toward me, no longer suspicious of the water, that I didn’t even notice when a larger wave swept toward me.

“Watch out!” Devin called, but by the time I turned to see, it was too late. The wave splashed over me, soaking the bottom of my dress to my waist, and the rush of water pushed me off balance. I stepped backward, trying to catch myself, but the surface of the sand was uneven. My arms flailed wildly for a moment, and then I fell into the retreating wave. When I stood up, the whole front and bottom of my dress was soaked, and my underwear clung to my skin.
 

I felt my face redden in embarrassment, but Devin was laughing again, and after a moment I laughed too, trudging back toward our blanket with my dress heavy around me, the fabric slapping wetly against my skin with every step.

“Tough break,” he said, his eyes still glittering with laughter, and I punched him playfully.

“Now what?” I said, more to myself than anything. “I don’t have a change of clothes.” I considered the possibilities.
 

I could take off my dress and wring it out, pretending my bra and underwear were a bikini.
No.
I could never do that—not here, in the middle of the day, surrounded by strangers…and Devin.

I could dry off with the blanket. But then we’d have to sit in the sand.
 

I could…

Devin interrupted my thoughts. “Now,” he said, “we have more wine. And our picnic.”

I nodded, luxuriating in his laid-back attitude and grateful that he didn’t see my fall as time for the afternoon to end.
 

While he poured us another mugful of wine each, I squeezed out the skirt of my dress as best I could, then sat back down on the blanket. Taco plopped down in my lap, and I imagined how much dog hair would be glued to me when he got up. But I didn’t care.
 

“I have a jacket in the car,” he offered. “Want me to get it?”

“No, thanks,” I said. “The sun is plenty warm.”

Taking a sip of wine, I reached for the bag of groceries and started setting out containers on the blanket between us. Devin hadn’t gotten plates or forks—I smiled to myself when I realized this, unsurprised—so we ate with our fingers, closing the containers back up between bites to protect them from Taco’s eager mouth. The baguette was crusty on the outside and soft in the center, just like a baguette should be. I pulled off a chunk and watched the crust shatter and crumbs rain down on the blanket beneath. He’d gotten hummus, olives, sun-dried tomatoes, prosciutto. All these rich, caloric foods certainly wouldn’t help me with my weight-loss goals, but for that moment I didn’t care. It was perfect, and all so delicious that I even forgot, at least briefly, about my clinging wet dress.

“This is great, Devin,” I said. “Thank you.”

“I’m having a good time,” he said, and the way he was looking at me when I met his eyes made me shiver. My insides did a quick flip-flop before I regained my composure and then tried to hide behind my mug of wine.

We lay and talked while Taco curled up between us and snored. As the sun moved lower in the sky, a few clouds appeared, and I found myself starting to shiver in my still-damp dress. I looked around me for the first time in probably two hours, and realized that most of the people who had been out here had packed up, and we had the beach almost to ourselves. Taco was passed out on his side, snoring gently.

“Are you cold?” Devin asked, glancing at my goose-bumped arm as I reached out for another olive.
 

“I am,” I admitted, though I didn’t want this afternoon to end.
 

“We could head out,” he began, “
or…
I could go grab my jacket for you from the car, and we could watch the sunset. It’ll only be another fifteen minutes or so.”

I smiled. “Sure.”

He jumped up and clipped Taco’s leash onto his collar, handing me the end, and then jogged back toward his car. Taco strained against the leash, whining and then barking toward Devin anxiously.
 

“You poor boy,” I said to him. “You must have missed Devin so much when you were lost, didn’t you?” I patted Taco. “I can understand,” I whispered. “He’s pretty special.”

A moment later, Devin returned with a dark brown hoodie that was several sizes too big for me. “Thanks,” I said, taking it from him. As I pulled it over my head, I was enveloped in Devin’s scent. It made my heart beat faster.
 

Oh no
, I thought.
I’m really falling for him.
 

We sat side by side, facing the ocean, staring out at the sun peeking out from behind the Golden Gate Bridge. It was beautiful, and as the sun sunk lower, muted colors appeared, bouncing off the wisps of clouds. I could feel Devin’s presence beside me acutely, the tiny inches between us, could hear his breath, and I wanted to touch him.

“Are you warm?” he asked, and I snuggled his hoodie closer to my body.
 

“I’m warm
er
,” I said.

And then he bridged the distance between us, did what I’d been too scared to do. He put an arm around me, drew me toward him, and my heart fluttered. “I want you to be warm.”

“You’re so warm,” I whispered, glancing at him and then quickly looking back at the sunset.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered back.

His touch spreading through the side of my body where we were touching, encompassing my whole body, warming me all the way through. Beautiful? He didn’t see me as overweight, as slow, as unaccomplished?

We sat like that for several minutes, watching the colors in the sky slowly intensify, then darken. I was fully sober again, the alcohol fading with the light. Taco licked my foot intently, and I wondered what was going to happen next. Where was this heading? What were we doing? Was this a huge mistake?
 

And then I told the voice in my head to hush.
Just enjoy this moment
, I told myself.
Don’t worry about the future. Don’t worry about how this will change things. Just enjoy it.

The sunset faded to dark blues and purples and the beach around us was shaded. The last few people had left and I couldn’t deny any longer than the day was coming to a close. I started to shift to stand up, then glanced at Devin. He looked back at me, his eyes only inches from mine. And instead of standing, I leaned more heavily into him, pressing my body into his, and he leaned into me. His eyes were flecks of green with smaller flecks of amber, and they came closer and closer. The moment seemed to stretch out into minutes, days, and then our lips were touching, soft and gentle. His hair smelled like the hoodie, and his mouth tasted like the white wine.
 

Devin put a hand on the back of my neck and gently drew me toward him, and then his tongue was on mine, tracing slow circles. I loved the soft plushness of his lips.
 

And then we both drew back, smiled shyly at each other, and stood up without a word, gathering our belongings in the darkened, still beach. Devin shook out the blanket and folded it and I took the bag of food, now mostly empty containers, and led Taco back up the beach to the car.
 

We drove mostly in comfortable silence, and I longed to touch his skin again. At a stoplight, Devin turned to me. “Will you come watch a movie at my house soon?”

“I’d love to,” I said.

I wanted to go right now, every cell in my body straining toward him, imagining snuggling together on his couch and never letting this night end.
 

He dropped me off outside my house. I started to get out, and then, and after a moment of hesitation, I turned back to him, my heart pounding, and leaned over to give him another kiss. It melted me all over again, and I didn’t want to pull away.

“Here, don’t forget your mug,” he said, reaching into the backseat to pull one of the pieces of pottery out of the grocery bag.
 

“You want me to keep it?” I asked in surprise, taking the cool ceramic into my hand.

“Yeah, you keep it,” he said. “I’ll keep mine, and we’ll think of each other when we have coffee or tea….Or wine.” I smiled and thanked him, then took Taco from the backseat and headed upstairs. It felt like ripping velcro apart to leave Devin.
 

It wasn’t until I got upstairs that I remembered two things: I was still wearing his hoodie, and I had completely forgotten I needed to buy popsicle sticks for my students before the morning.
 

“Oh crap,” I said out loud in the empty apartment, and picked my purse back up to head to the craft store. Thank god I hadn’t stayed out any later. I had almost let myself get swept up in Devin, and forget about what was really important.
 

But I didn’t take off the hoodie.

CHAPTER 5

When my alarm clock went off the next morning, I dragged my eyelids open and stared up at the big, dark windows of my bedroom. I always slept with the curtains open so that the sun would wake me up in the morning, but now that I was marathon training and waking up early most mornings to run before work, my wakeup time happened before the sun’s.
 

“No,” I groaned in the general direction of my alarm clock, reaching out to swat at the snooze button. Instead, I missed, and the clock crashed to the floor. Taco yipped in excitement.

I’d gone to three different stores the night before looking for popsicle sticks for the art project I was doing with my students. Right around the time I started wondering about buying several boxes of popsicles and pulling out the sticks, I’d finally found some—but I was cursing myself for letting my guard down and staying out so late with Devin.
 

Then, of course, I’d gotten home and been unable to sleep. My mind swirled with thoughts of him, memories of sinking into his lips out on the cool sand of the beach while the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Lying in my bed well past my normal bedtime, I’d wondered: is he thinking of me right now too? Or is he sleeping soundly?

And, furthermore, what did it all mean?

I didn’t know whether anything more would happen with Devin—whether our kiss had meant as much to him as it had, whether I wanted it to or not, to me.
 

I pulled myself out of bed and righted the spurned alarm clock, shutting off its horrible beeping and rubbing at my tired eyes. No matter what had happened with Devin the previous night, I was not going to lose sight of my goals. It was time for a training run. Nothing was more important than the marathon.

I snapped Taco’s leash to him while he bounced around in anticipation of our outing. Outside in the first dim wisps of morning light, I shivered. The fog had come in overnight, and it was chillier than it had been the night before. Or had I just not noticed? I remembered the goosebumps up and down my arms that had prompted Devin to loan me his hoodie.
 

My body protesting, I started to put one foot in front of the other, slowly at first and then faster and faster. But my body felt sluggish, exhausted.
 

I paused for breath only five minutes in, and then again a few minutes later. How could I have done this to myself? Sure, it was only one night, but if I was letting myself lose track of time and lose track of my obligations when I was with Devin, what else would slip?
 

With difficulty, Taco and I finished up our normal route and arrived back at my front door, feeling a mix of fear, anxiety, and excitement. I hadn’t stopped thinking about Devin once during the run—the way his hoodie smelled like him, the way his hair bounced as he ran, the way he’d laughed when I’d fallen into the surf, but kindly, in a way that made me want to laugh too.
 

I was falling for him, there was no doubt. And when I pulled my phone out of its armband to stop my run-tracking app and noticed that I’d taken an extra seven minutes to complete a run that was usually easy for me, the thought of falling for Devin—and what it might mean—terrified me.
 

Things weren’t much better when I got to work. I went through the whole day distracted and tired, snippets of memory of Devin leaning toward me interrupting a conversation with a student about whether he needed to go potty, a memory of him handing me his hoodie usurping discussion of a word’s spelling with another student. The memories pushed their way in almost violently, and I chastised myself to stay on track, to be a good teacher. Yet I couldn’t help but check my phone at regular intervals to see if he’d texted. He hadn’t.