Breaking the Rules (22 page)

*Please note, this excerpt is subject to change
during the editing process.

Chapter 1

Dear Mr. Meyers,

We’re pleased to inform you that after an extensive evaluation process, you have been selected as one of the Northwest’s Most Eligible Bachelors. We, at Northwest Lifestyle, understand that you’re a busy man and we appreciate your taking time out of your schedule to participate in this feature.

To assist you in the process, we have paired you with three of the Northwest’s most eligible bachelorettes based on the answers given on your application. One of our senior editors will be in touch within the next seven days to help you finalize the details for each date.

Sincerely,

Patrick Hartwell

Features Editor, Northwest Lifestyle

“Colton!” I scream, slamming down the lid of my laptop before I threw the damn thing across the room. “Get your ass in here and give me three good reasons why I shouldn’t go find your wife and kick her ass!”

While I couldn’t be certain, this stunt had Rain’s name all over it. Ever since she and Colton got back from their honeymoon, she has been on my ass to find a good woman and settle down. Just because the two of them were content to be tied to one person for the rest of their lives didn’t mean the rest of us needed to do the same.

“What’s up?” Colton asks, his dirty blond hair falling in front of his face. I get that he had chopped it off for a good cause, but he seriously looks like the long-lost older brother from the boy band Hanson. “What did she do now?”

I open my computer, motioning for him to take a look. He presses his lips together, trying to hold back the laughter. If the roles were reversed, I would have been laughing my ass off too, but they weren’t. I am the one who was getting set up with not one, but three women I have never met who
were probably in the market for a well-off husband to take care of their every wish.

Colton lets out a low whistle. “Damn, dude. You sure it was her?” I couldn’t keep my jaw from going slack. He was either delusional or so in love he would go to any length to protect his woman.

“Who the fuck else do you know that would do something like this? Jesus, Colton, what am I supposed to do?” I pull my long black hair back into a ponytail because the room suddenly felt too warm for my comfort. “If I back out, I'm the asshole. If I do go through with it, I’m letting one of these broads think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I’ll fall in love with her. The way I see it, I’m going to be the asshole no matter what I do.”

This time, Colton laughs at my predicament. “Sounds like a you problem. And being the asshole shouldn’t be anything new for you. You’ve been perfecting that for years now.”

Travis, our bass guitarist, walks out of the basement studio and grabs three beers before joining us in the office. “What’s got your panties in a twist?” He asks as he sets a bottle down in front of me. “I’m in there trying to work on some arrangements and all I hear is you in here bitching. What gives?”

Colton is standing in the corner, watching out the window for Rain’s arrival. That sassy red-head is lucky I love her like a sister because I’m seriously ready to slap her into next week over this crap. Telling me I need to find a woman was one thing, but sending my application in to a dressed-up popularity contests for the young and elite was something entirely different. On the list of things I never wanted to do in my life, this little stunt hit a few of them; go on a blind date, give a woman any expectation of more than one date and put my private life on display topping the list.

“Jon’s going to be The Bachelor,” Colton howls.
Laugh it up now, pretty boy. We’ll see how easy it is once I knock your teeth down your throat.

“The fuck?” Travis stammers, out of the loop and thoroughly confused.

I flop back into my leather desk chair. Since inheriting the house, I haven’t done much with most of the furnishings because I’m not here often enough to care. My chair is my throne. I fucking love my chair. “Rain entered me in some bullshit contest,” I grumble. “Apparently, you’re looking at one of the most eligible bachelors of the Northwest.”

Now it was Travis laughing his ass off. “That’s pretty fucking sad if you’re the best we’ve got. Then again, I guess that gives the rest of us a shot.”

Colton bolts out of the room, no doubt to warn Rain that I know what she did and don’t appreciate it. The worst part is I am losing my will to stay pissed off at her with every minute that passed because she really is like a sister to me. Her heart was in a good place, even if her little plan sucked.

“Tell me about it,” I laugh, taking a long draw off my beer.

Travis stretches out on the sofa across the room, one long leg crossed over the other. “So, is it really that bad? I mean, they just take some pictures of you and put them in the magazine, right?”

Most Eligible Bachelors of the Northwest
is nothing new. The magazine does this feature every year. Most years, we would gather around and have a good laugh at the buttoned-up yuppies with their smug smiles in awkward poses. This is the first year the magazine decided to stir things up a bit with the addition of a matchmaker feature.

“Fuck, that’d be easy. Maybe we could head down to the beach and I could show them how I prefer to work,” I joke, knowing there was no way the magazine would do a feature of me relaxing on the beach with nothing but my notebook. And I do mean
nothing.

“Um, no thanks. Don’t need to scare off everyone with pictures of your junk hanging out.” Travis throws a pillow at me, narrowly missing the half-empty bottle next to my computer. “So, why is it such a huge deal? Who knows, it could be good for the band, having a new sex symbol since Bradford went and got himself married.”

Not wanting to misquote the email, I pull it back up on the screen. “To assist you in the process, we have paired you with three of the Northwest’s most eligible bachelorettes based on the answers given on your application,” I read in my most feminine voice. This is going to be a fucking nightmare. “Sounds less like a photo spread and more like a bad reality show if you ask me.”

“Come on, it might not be so bad. If they’re the most eligible women, they can’t be dogs, right?” Leave it to Travis to find the bright side.

My concern has nothing to do with their looks and more to do with their expectations for whatever it is they think is going to happen after we spend a few hours together. Okay, so maybe it has a little to do with their looks, but mostly it’s about not wanting a woman trying to hog tie me and run off to Vegas in the middle of the damn night.

A soft knock on the door interrupts me as I start to explain why this is a disaster waiting to happen. “Hey Jon,” Rain says meekly. I crook my finger, summoning her over to my desk.

“Yeah,” I huff. “You wanna tell me what the fuck this is about?” I point to the email on my screen.

“Oh, come on,” Rain says in the prissy little whine that is becoming all too familiar. It seems that being in love is having an effect on her as well and I don’t like it when she pulled out the pouty lip. “It’ll be fun! You’ll get to go on a few dates, maybe meet some women whose clothes aren’t instantly falling off their bodies and see what happens.”

I take a few deep breaths, trying to remain calm. Grabbing her shoulders, I turn Rain so she is looking directly at me. “If and when I decide I’m ready to settle down, I’ll be sure to let you know. Until then, I’d appreciate it if you would kindly butt out of my sex life. Got it?”

Tears well in Rain’s. What the fuck is that about? I have seen Rain cry a few times in the past, but not many. Off the top of my head, the only times she had broken down were when she found out her mom died and when we all doubted her after our former bitch of a manager, Tanya, planted cocaine in her apartment. Why is this making her lose it?

“Sweetie,” I start, trying to channel my inner nice guy. “I’m sorry if I snapped at you but this isn’t exactly my scene, not to mention the fact that we’ve been over this plenty of times. I’m not looking for a wife right now. Hell, I’m not even looking for a second date right now.” The fact that she won’t look up from the ground kills me. She’s not a child who’s getting in trouble, but she needs to know she over-stepped her bounds “Hey, it’ll be fine.” I throw my arm over her shoulder, praying her tears wouldn’t start falling.

Colton walks into the office just in time to see the first tear tumble down Rain’s cheek. He looks from Rain to me, then to Travis and back to Rain trying to figure out what had happened while he was in the can.

“Everything okay in here?” He asks, pulling Rain away from me and wrapping his arms around her. I would never admit it to them, but they do seem to have something amazing between them. I don’t see that type of connection in my own future, but I am elated that they finally got their shit together.

“Yeah,” Rain assures her husband. “We’re good. Jon found out about me sending an application in for him for that magazine feature. Now he’s pissed at me.”

Colton shakes his head. “Babe, I told you not to do that.” He looks over her head to see me glaring at him. Just as I was about to speak, he subtly shakes his head, pursing his lips. Something is different with them but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what it is. Rain isn’t usually the type to get this upset over something that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and Colton is being extra protective.

***

Dear Mr. Meyers,

My name is Olivia Joseph and I’ll be assisting you throughout the rest of the process leading up to our feature series. If you need any changes made due to scheduling conflicts, please be sure to let me know at your earliest convenience.

Because we understand how busy both you and the women you will be spending an evening with are, we have asked the ladies to choose the location based on something that will tell you about them. This will hopefully also create a more relaxed meeting for you.

I have your first date scheduled for Wednesday evening at 8:30. You will be meeting with Katherine Alvarez at Metrovino. She has selected this location because she appreciates good wine and is always on the lookout for the best atmosphere in the area due to her job. She has assured me that this is a place which caters to a wide range of clientele and will provide a relaxing atmosphere in which the two of you can get to know one another.

When you arrive at
Metrovino, let the manager know who you are and she will take care of everything.

I will be forwarding information on your second date as soon as the details are finalized.

Sincerely,

Olivia Joseph

Just. Fucking. Wonderful. Thanks to Rain and this crazy scheme of hers, I am going to have to sit around drinking wine while listening to some trust fund baby tell me all about her woes.

I grab a beer out of the fridge and run up the two flights of stairs to my bedroom. Even after two years, it does
feel
like my bedroom. It is still my grandparents’ bedroom. If and when the day comes that I care enough about a woman to let her see my house, I will have to get a new bedroom suite. No way in hell am I going to fuck on the same bed they had slept in for so many years.

There is nothing in my closet appropriate for a place as trendy as
Metrovino. While I don’t usually give a shit about things like that, this is more than just a date. It’s unique publicity for the band so I need to give the appearance that I care. I highly doubt management will appreciate my ripped jeans and t-shirts with the sleeves cut off. The only nice outfit I own is the one Rain’s brother bought for me when we attended her mom’s funeral and it doesn’t seem right to wear that on a date, even if the previous occasion fits the way I feel about what I am doing.

Screw that. If Rain wants me to start dating, she can go shopping. Knowing how much she hates the mall, I make a list that will keep her in her own personal hell for at least a few hours and text it to her.

Minutes later, my phone rings. “What the fuck did you say to her?” Colton asks as soon as I answer.

All I can do is laugh. She must not be taking my request well if her reaction warranted a call from the man of the house. “Hey man, if she wants to torture me, turnabout is fair play. I told her I need her to go shopping for me.”