Breaking the Rules (29 page)

“Yeah, well, not for me.”

“Or for me,” Izzy agreed, in that same almost-somber tone. In fact he was sitting there minus his usual devil-may-care, fuck-all-y’all attitude. And the expression on his face was believably contrite. “But for Ben and Eden and Jenn …? Let’s just get this over with.”

“
Over
with?” Dan said, sitting up straighter. “
Over with
is you driving us to San Diego and then getting the
fuck
out of my life.”

“I think I’m probably more in Eden’s life,” Izzy pointed out mildly. “But okay. Have at me. I’m an idiot. I’m a fool, a moron, an asshat, a dipshit. You hate me, you’ve always hated me, I annoy you, and now I
really
annoy you because I’m sleeping with your sister again. Come on, Danny. Let me have it. Don’t hold back.”

“Jesus,” Dan said, “you’re such a
douchebag
. What were you, with her for ten whole minutes yesterday before you got back into her pants?”

“I prefer the term
reconciled,
” the other SEAL said. “Before we reconciled. And it was more like a couple of hours, but yeah, I agree. It happened pretty quickly. You’re not the only one who’s surprised.”

“But I’m
not
surprised,” Dan told him. “I’m not even close to surprised. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re like the stupidest kid in the world. You touch the hot stove, burn yourself, but then turn right around and touch it again.”

“Hey, Izzy, there you are,” Jenn said, looking from Dan to Izzy and back again. “Everything okay here?”

“Yeah,” Izzy said as Dan flatly said, “No.”

“What if, yeah, okay, you get burned,” Izzy said to Dan, as if he didn’t care that Jenn joined their conversation, which she did by sitting down on Dan’s other side, and taking his hand in silent support, gently squeezing it. “But you also get—”

“
Don’t
say what I think you’re going to say,” Dan warned him.

“I’m speaking figuratively here,” Izzy said. “Okay? What if you touch the figurative stove, and even though you figuratively get burned, you also figuratively get a million dollars. Chances are, you’re going to go back to the stove.”

“For a million dollars,” Dan argued. “Yeah. But we’re not talking about a million dollars.”

“At the risk of potentially offending you,” Izzy said. “By moving from figurative to actual, I can state that I would, absolutely, trade a million dollars to be with Eden.”

“Be with Eden,” Dan repeated, unable to keep his heat from his voice. “Let’s cut the crap and just say what we mean. You’re talking about—”

Izzy protested. “But you said I shouldn’t say—”

“—having sex with my sister,” Dan finished. “Which is worth—to you—a million dollars. You
are
fricking stupid.”

“It’s not just the sex,” Izzy insisted.

“You could buy a much nicer girl,” Dan shot back, “for a million dollars. Or maybe you’re as white trash as she is, and you like the whole
I’m a slut
vibe Eden brings to the table.”

He knew, the moment the words left his mouth, that it was the wrong thing to say. He also knew that it was only because Jenn was sitting next to him, holding his hand, that Izzy didn’t haul him to his feet and kick his ass. Injury be damned.

“
That
wasn’t helpful,” Jenn murmured, and Dan couldn’t bring himself to look over at her.

Izzy now sat leaning forward slightly, with his forearms on his
thighs and his hands clasped together in front of him. He appeared to be relaxed, but Dan could see the muscle jumping in the side of his jaw. His knuckles were also close to white.

Dan knew he should apologize, but the words caught in his throat because he didn’t want to. He was that mad. At Izzy and Eden. At the entire universe. At every human being on the planet except for Jennilyn and Ben.

“Will you, um, excuse us for a second, Jenn?” Izzy turned slightly toward Jennilyn, looking past Dan, but not quite meeting Jenn’s eyes, either. At least as far as Dan could tell. He seemed to be looking at a spot on the wall across the room. “I have to say something to Dan that he’d prefer you don’t hear.”

“I don’t keep secrets from my girlfriend,” Dan said.

But Jenn was already rising to her feet. “I’ll go see how Eden and Ben are doing.” She gave his hand one last squeeze. “Please, no bloodshed.”

Izzy waited until she walked away, until she rounded the corner. And even then, when he spoke, he kept his voice low. “I have opinions and predictions about your relationship, too, you know. Plenty of them, in fact. And I happen to think that you’re using Jenn and that you’re a shit. And I happen to know that if she hadn’t come to Germany the way that she did, you’d’ve hooked up—in a heartbeat—with Sheila Anderson.”

“No,” Dan protested. “I wouldn’t have.” But even as he said the words, he knew that it certainly would have been his pattern in the past.

“Yeah, you would’ve,” Izzy argued. “Because that’s what
you
do, asshole. You sleep with whoever makes googly eyes at you—as long as they’re convenient and as long as there’s an end date in sight. Me, I have a weakness for your sister. And yes, I continue to want her—wherever and whenever possible. Am I using her, simply because I know for a fact that she doesn’t love me? Maybe I am. And maybe that makes me a shit, too. But I think it just makes me a fool and all those other things that you didn’t disagree that I wasn’t. But as much of a fool
and a dipshit that I am? I am
not
deluded. I know Eden’s not going to stay with me for very long. I know what’s coming, and my life will go on. But until then? I’m on board this train, this incredibly fabulous train, whether you like it or not.

“So. You think I’m a shit, and I
know
you’re a shit,” Izzy continued. “But here’s how we’re going to get along for these next few days or months or yes, years, if I’m that freaking lucky. You watch your mouth when you talk about your sister. You show some respect. And I won’t kill you. That sound fair to you? Because it sounds really,
really
fair to me.”

Izzy stood up, clearly not intending to wait for Danny’s response. Which was probably good because Danny was stuck on that one most horrifying word that Izzy had said.

Years
.

Holy Christ, if everything went
just
right, he was going to share an apartment with Ben and Eden and freaking Izzy Zanella for
years
.

T
he nearest big city was Los Angeles. Neesha had gone to the library, to look at a map, but the librarian had waved to her and said, “There was a man here yesterday, and I think he was looking for you,” so she made up an excuse—
Oh, I forgot my phone
—and hurried away.

She went instead to a bookstore and wandered until she found some maps in a rack. And she knew the writing that said Las Vegas—she could recognize that and she found it, and found the next-nearest big dot. She’d stopped a friendly-looking woman with a baby in a stroller and asked for help. English was her second language, could she please pronounce this city’s name for her?

Los Angeles.

She’d gone from there to the bus depot and with her heart pounding, watching all the time for Mr. Nelson or Todd or their men, she stood in line. She’d been here before, hoping that she could sneak onto a bus and leave the city. But she’d seen the security. She saw how it worked. People would come to this counter, hand over their little plastic cards or bills similar to the one she’d taken from Ben’s sister’s client. They were given a piece of paper that they would then show to the driver as they boarded their bus.

At last it was her turn and she moved to the counter. She was separated
from the woman who sat back there by a thick window of plastic, although there was a narrow hole at the bottom.

“Destination,” the woman said, her voice sounding strange and metallic. Neesha didn’t know what that meant and she froze.

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. “Where are you going?” she said, still in that metallic voice, but much more slowly, each word carefully pronounced.

That Neesha knew. “Los Angeles.”

“One way or round-trip?”

Again, Neesha had no clue. She shook her head.

“Child,
where
is your mother?” the woman said.

Another question she could answer. “She’s dead.”

“Oh, Lordy,” the woman said. “Okay, all right. Are you coming back to Las Vegas or are you planning to stay in L.A.?”

L.A.—she’d heard of L.A. on the television. Was that the same as Los Angeles? She hoped so.

“I’m not coming back,” Neesha said.

“One way, then,” the woman told her. “Cash or credit?”

Cash was another word for the money Neesha had taken, so she took the bill from her pocket now, and slid it through the slot beneath the plastic window.

“What’s this?” the woman said, as if she didn’t recognize it.

“Cash,” Neesha said.

“Oh, honey, this is just a
fraction
of what you need for a ticket to L.A.”

Neesha didn’t know
fraction
and she stared at the woman in confusion.

“One way to L.A. is fifty-five dollars,” the woman told her, pushing the bill back out that slot. “You’re thirty-five dollars short.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I am, too. Child, if you need help—”

Neesha shook her head as she took the money she’d stolen, jammed it back into her pocket, and hurried away.

She was running out of both options and time.

* * *

Ben was asleep when Izzy came back to the hospital.

Eden went out into the hall so their conversation wouldn’t wake him.

“He’s doing well,” she reported. “The nurse went to see about getting him discharged so we can bring him home. We have to sign some special paper, some kind of disclaimer or something, because they’d prefer to keep him overnight, but his insurance won’t cover it, and since Danny’s getting a little nutty about all the money, I thought … Besides, he’s good. Ben. He says he feels much better and he really wants to leave, and since he’s been dealing with the diabetes for years … I trust him to have a good read on his own body.”

“Good,” Izzy said. “That’s good. If you trust him, I trust him, too.”

She was staring up at him—she knew it, and she forced herself to blink, to smile. “Good,” she repeated, too—a little inanely.

Izzy did that to her. It was weird. When he was with her, as he’d been nonstop since yesterday, she got slightly more used to his presence. But after he’d been gone, even just for the few hours during which he’d driven Dan and Jenn back to her apartment?

Seeing him again gave her a real jolt.

It wasn’t that he was the most handsome man she’d ever encountered, because he wasn’t. He had a lot of uneven edges and sharp angles to his face—a certain cragginess. That was the best word for it, and even that wasn’t quite right.

There was an honesty to him—a tactlessness, at times—and it was reflected in the expressions that he wore. His face was constantly in motion, and when he did become still, it was almost startling. And when he smiled …?

He was beyond beautiful.

Eden had spent some time last night, just watching him smiling in his sleep.

But his face wasn’t the only thing that gave her a jolt upon seeing him again.

He was tall—taller than most men—and powerfully built, with upper arms that were probably wider in circumference than Ben’s thighs, which okay, wasn’t really saying that much because Ben was such a twig, but still. When Izzy wore a T-shirt like the one he was wearing now, it really emphasized how muscular he was. And the shorts … He always wore the style that went all the way down to his knees and had plenty of pockets of all kinds that he kept filled with Lord knows what, yet the cut still managed to showcase the rather ridiculously nice butt that Eden knew was beneath. Although seriously? A man who looked the way Izzy did when he was naked should’ve been required to never wear clothes. His legs were long and tan, his calves covered with sun-bleached hair. He was wearing sandals—the kind with a tread on the bottom, that he could run in—and even his feet looked big and strong.

But it was Izzy’s eyes that Eden found herself transfixed by—as lovely as the rest of him was to look at, even while unclad. It was his eyes—and the life and humor and heat she found within them—that amplified his smile and took her breath away.

“What,” he said now as he gazed back at her, and she realized that she was staring again. He wiped his mouth with his hand. “Do I have pizza on me? I have to confess that I stopped to get a slice. I got one for you, but I kind of ate it, too.” He made a face. “Sorry. I’m an ass. Say the word, and I’ll go back—”

“No, that’s okay,” she said. “I’m not really hungry and … I’m going to make Ben dinner when we get home, so …”

“Two slices is just an appetizer,” he said. “I’m completely up for dinner, too.”

“Or maybe we should stop somewhere,” Eden said, “so we don’t bother Danny and Jenn. Did you get them set up okay?”

“Done and done,” Izzy told her. “I put them in your bedroom and I didn’t have to wrestle Dan to the death to do it. Oh, and I found the clean sheets where you said they were, no problem. I also got the pullout bed made up for us—well, sort of. The mattress is pretty crappy and the metal frame wasn’t … Whatever. It’s fine. Long story short,
Jenn helped me put the mattress directly on the living-room floor. We also got the air mattress inflated for Ben. Jenn put sheets on it, too—it’s all ready to go.”

“Thank you so much,” she said.

“Danny’s still hurting pretty badly. Plus, he’s running on empty after all the travel,” Izzy told her, “which is frustrating the shit out of him. By the time I left, he was already in bed. I was glad Jenn was there, to babysit him.”

Eden glanced at Izzy’s watch, which she was wearing on her wrist. Even at the tightest setting of the strap, it was still loose and she had to turn it to see the time.

It was barely 6:30, which meant it was barely 9:30 eastern time. Which was
very
wimpy for Dan, who often went for days without more than a nap, even with jet lag.

“Oh, good,” Izzy said as he saw his watch. “You have it. I was wondering where …”