Breaking the Governess’s Rules (18 page)

‘He would like to see you.’ Jonathon frowned. Something was making Louisa hesitate. She used to love children. He shook his head. ‘I will let Nanny Hawks know to expect you.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘You could always tell when something was wrong. Have the others been making comments as well?’

‘No one has said anything.’ She drew a deep breath, making her chest fill out agreeably. ‘Your face was thunderous when you arrived at the bowls and even blacker when I came down the stairs. I recognised the expression. It was precisely the same as when you had Bee’s Wing put down.’

‘I am flattered you remembered,’ Jonathon replied. ‘But nothing was bothering me at the bowling green. You are reading too much into my expression. A lesser man would think you cared.’

‘And he’d be right. I hate to think of anyone in distress.’

When he had arranged the house party, he’d thought it would be simple. Louisa would tumble into his bed, and he would be able to banish Venetia without Louisa being unduly disturbed. And he would be free to spend time with Arthur. Keep the parts of his life separate, just as he had always done. Now he discovered Louisa had guessed something was wrong and he wanted to share, but he also wanted to keep her from getting hurt. And that was an unforeseen problem.

‘Louisa, is my heart supposed to be touched?’ Jonathon hardened his voice. It was far better for her to be slightly hurt now than to face the worry and fear of his stepmother. After Margaret was safely in his custody and his stepmother gone, he’d confess, but for right now, he had to keep Louisa in ignorance. ‘Why did you leave the bowls if you were so concerned about me?’

Louisa concentrated on the summer house at the end of the terrace.

‘Miss Daphne helpfully sent me for her shawl.’ She paused and her cheeks coloured. ‘There was little need for me to stay.’

‘You always could think on your feet.’ He gave a little shake of his head. ‘Would you care to share the true reason that you decided to leave, or shall I guess? You might wish to forget the past, Louisa, but you can’t help remembering it and what we shared.’

‘I …’ She took a deep steadying breath. ‘We can bandy words about if it will make you feel better, but it will solve nothing. Yes, I remember, and, yes, I kissed you this morning.’

‘That is hardly my fault.’ He put out his hand and touched her cheek. ‘Nothing happens unless you wish it too.’

‘Where were you?’

‘I went to see Annie Sims. It proved to be an interesting visit.’

‘Was Annie well received when she returned home?’ Louisa asked.

‘Well enough.’ He gave a slight shrug.

‘Are you trying to say that I should never have brought her to your attention? You promised me, Jonathon.’ Louisa put her hand on his sleeve. ‘No harm would come to her.’

‘Why should you care about what happens to that woman?’ Jonathon stared at her. ‘A woman you have spoken no more than ten words to?’

‘I have been in the same situation. I know what the reception can be like.’ Her eyes became haunted and she bit her lip as if she was afraid to say more. ‘I am not devoid of human feeling. Annie was scared to return home; knowing how people can behave, I do not blame her. Did her father beat her?’

Jonathon looked down at her face and saw the shadow of pain.

‘Were you hurt? Did your cousin lay a finger on you after you were dismissed?’ Even now, Jonathon knew he would go and hunt her relations out, make them pay for what they had done, if they had dared to hurt Louisa.

Louisa’s lips twisted up in a bitter smile. ‘They turned me out and refused to have anything to do with me. I was dead to them. But, no, they never beat me.’

With effort Jonathon regained control of his temper. Later, he would discover them and make them pay. He had not cared for the cousin with his pompous swagger the one time they had met. ‘And this is supposed to be a good thing?’

‘I survived.’ She put a hand on his arm. ‘I could either be consumed with bitterness or I could get on with my life. A life well lived is the best revenge. And I must admit to being amused when my cousin and his wife heard of my good fortune from a mutual acquaintance.’

‘Why?’

‘Instantly they wrote, asking for money and saying how clever I was.’

‘And did you give it?’ Jonathon asked.

‘No, I did not. I thanked them for the good wishes and left it at that.’ She shook her head. Jonathon was impressed. The old Louisa had always been concerned that she was not worthy enough. She had desired a family. ‘I do know who my true friends are and true friends are worth more than blood.’

‘If I have time tomorrow, shall I take you to see Annie? To put your mind to rest.’ Jonathon smiled. The solution to the problem was suddenly clear in his mind. He could keep the parts of his life separate.

‘I would like that. Yes, I would like that very much.’ Louisa bit her lip. ‘Have you discovered if she has anything to do with the theft? You said that several things
went missing about the time she left with her lover. Were either involved?’

Jonathon stared at her, impressed. He had not expected her to remember. ‘Yes, I believe so. She has given me her lover’s name as well as one of the missing snuffboxes, but I want to find out how the theft occurred. How did he get into the house? Annie says she has no idea but I think she does.’

‘Shall I ask her about it? She might be willing to confide in me.’

‘I forbid it, Louisa. It is far too risky. Do not even attempt to discover who helped her lover.’

‘It is not as if I am going to put myself in any danger,’ Louisa said, suddenly annoyed with Jonathon. He was acting like she should be wrapped in cotton wool. ‘What could possibly happen to me at her house? It will give me something to do. Something to occupy my time while I am here. Miss Daphne will come along with us, I am certain about that. She will want to see how the neighbourhood has changed.’

‘You need a chaperon? Why?’ The words were said so softly that Louisa wondered if she had only imagined them.

She stared at him for a long moment. ‘Are you asking me to risk my reputation by being alone with you?’

‘Nothing will happen. You have your rules as your shield.’

‘We have an agreement, Jonathon. After this party Miss Daphne and I are going back to Sorrento. We are only here because of Miss Daphne’s desire to revisit old haunts.’

His hand reached out and touched her elbow, holding
her in place. ‘Is it just being with me that frightens you, Louisa? I have given you my word. Why can’t you trust that? Or is it your desire that you do not trust?’

Louisa straightened her shoulders and stared directly at him, knowing she had to lie to save her soul. He must never guess that she cared or that the temptation was growing inside her to confide everything that had happened to her and how she had lost her baby, their baby. Right now, she dreaded to think how his eyes would change. ‘I find caution is the better part of valour. Once I took risks, but never again. It is remaining within the accepted limits that keeps me safe.’

‘H
ere you are. I had been scouring the house for you.’

At the sound of Jonathon’s voice, Louisa glanced up from the game of wooden blocks she was playing with Arthur and her heart skipped a beat.

‘Yes, I found a source of alternative entertainment—your son. He takes delight in knocking my towers down.’

Jonathon laughed. ‘I can hardly blame him.’

Why did Jonathon have to appear now when she was busy playing with Arthur? Louisa sighed. She had taken pains over her dress and had sat doing her needlework this morning before taking coffee with Miss Daphne and the Blandishes. The conversation had revolved around London and its forthcoming exhibitions. And as the morning wore on, Louisa had become convinced that Jonathon had forgotten all about his promise to take her to see Annie. So she had given into her impulse and gone to the nursery where Arthur had welcomed her with a joyful whoop.

She should have guessed that Jonathon would remember. Instead of unapproachable perfection, he saw with her hair pins askew, crouched down on the nursery floor, rebuilding the fort that hid Arthur’s toy soldiers.

‘I promised to visit when I had time and suddenly there was time.’ Louisa scrambled to her feet. ‘Do you wish to postpone the journey?’

‘This morning has been far more hectic than I first imagined.’ He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. Louisa remembered the nervous gesture from years ago. He was keeping something from her.

‘Will the visit have to be postponed?’ she asked, pushing her hair behind her ear. Disappointment coursed through her. She had been looking forward to the trip.

‘I managed to sort the difficulty out.’ Again a shadow went over his eyes.

Louisa struggled against the impulse to ask him about it. He had to want to confide in her. She could not make him.

‘Miss Elliot has declared she will remain here, though,’ he said. ‘Something about listening to Miss Blandish practise her singing. Do you think you can risk travelling with just me? I give you my word as a gentleman that your reputation will not be put at risk. Miss Elliot considered it permissible as we are in the country.’

Louisa concentrated on rebuilding the tower for Arthur. Miss Daphne was being utterly transparent in her matchmaking. She should refuse, but she had looked forward to pitting her wits against him, the gentle teasing and to putting her mind to rest about Annie. She
put the final block on the tower. It swayed slightly, but remained upright.

‘It would be my pleasure. I am looking forward to meeting Annie again and getting to the bottom of the mystery.’

His gaze travelled down her costume and Louisa was acutely aware of the grubby handprints and ink stains. He reached over and straightened a brick. ‘You need to strengthen your walls.’

‘Do you think so? My walls are built to withstand any onslaught.’ Louisa wet her lips and prayed he was speaking about the wooden walls of the fort, not the ones surrounding her heart.

‘Most definitely. They are in danger of crumbling. Arthur here has found a way.’

Arthur pushed the tower down. The crash resounded around the nursery. He picked up the toy soldier that Louisa had hidden at the centre and gave a cry of triumph.

‘I shall have to take lessons from my son, then,’ Jonathon said quietly and Louisa knew he did not mean the wooden-brick towers.

Arthur held up his hands, begging to be picked up. Louisa knelt down and gave him a quick hug. ‘I need to go, Arthur.’

‘La-Lou. Boo. Boo.’ He waved his hand.

‘Bye-bye to you too.’

‘My son is enchanted with you. He rarely speaks.’

‘It is the age,’ Louisa said with a smile as she gave Arthur’s head a pat. Even in the short time they had spent together, Arthur had wound his fingers around her heart. ‘He is quite the charmer. I can’t remember when I laughed so much.’

‘He is my tonic, but I can never quite make out what he is saying.’

‘You need to listen harder. Hear what he is trying to say.’

She put her fingers to her lips and Arthur began to shout
pa pa pla pla.

‘He wants you to pick him up and play. Build him one last tower before we go.’

‘You are right, Louisa.’ Jonathon’s deep green gaze caught hers and held it. ‘Perhaps I have not been listening hard enough.’

He swung Arthur up into the air. The little boy responded by clapping his hands and shouting, ‘Pa. Pa.’ Their shared laughter rang out. Jonathon looked at her and held out his hand.

‘Shall we have Miss Sibson join in the fun?’

Louisa backed up and quickly shook her head. ‘I am grubby enough all ready.’

His eyes narrowed for an instant, piercing her to her soul. ‘Very well. I shan’t insist … this time.’

Louisa knew she was making a bittersweet memory for when she returned to Sorrento.

‘I will be ready to go to the Sims within the hour.’

He looked over his son’s head and mouthed
thank you.

Louisa hurried away before her heart demanded that she stay for ever.

Jonathon reached over and closed the carriage door with click. At his signal, the carriage began to roll away from the Sims’s cottage.

Louisa, he noted with an inward smile, was not hugging the opposite wall as she had done on the trip to the cottage, but sitting in the centre of the seat. Her ribbon-trimmed
bonnet shaded her face and her hands were primly folded on her lap. The very model of outward respectability.

With each turn of the carriage wheel, they went closer to Chesterholm and Jonathon knew his best chance would vanish. He had given his word that the first sign had to come from her and all she needed was a slight push.

As the carriage turned a corner on to the longer way home, Jonathon switched his place so he was sitting next to her.

‘There is plenty of space on the other side.’

‘I find going backwards makes me feel ill, particularly when there are bumps in the road.’

‘The journey out was smooth.’

‘We are going a slightly different way home. I wanted to stop at one of my farms. The farmer has a new foal that I want to inspect,’ Jonathon said smoothly and waited for the objection. The matter was far from pressing, but it served to prolong the time they would be together and away from Chesterholm. With any luck, by this evening, Margaret would be under his roof, safe from his stepmother, and Louisa would be in his bed. ‘Will you indulge me?’