Breaking Josephine (14 page)

“I like your car,”
I said as Colin shut the door, wiping the rain off his face with his hand.

“Oh come on, Jo. You
don’t have to be phony and fake nice just because I’m giving you a ride,” he
said as he started the engine.

“No, seriously, I
like it. I like Jeeps. They’re practical, and fun, and good for off-roading but
they ride nice in town and…. What?” I said as Colin stopped the car and looked
at me.

“You’re serious,
aren’t you?” he said, a look of surprise on his face. “Well, thank you I guess.
You might be the only person in Cannon Beach who likes this car. I’ve had it
since I was sixteen and my mother keeps it up here for when I visit. I don’t
think she’ll ever let me get rid of it unless it totally stops running.” He
paused and looked out at the rain before continuing, “Alright, so where am I
taking you exactly?”

I gave Colin
directions to my apartment and he drove me home. We each grabbed a bag and ran
around the house to my apartment and nearly busted the door down trying to get
in out of the rain. Diving inside, we stood in the kitchen, holding my grocery
bags and laughing like kids at the rain dripping off our hair and clothes.

“Here,” I said,
trying to stop laughing, “take off your jacket and let me hang it up. You’re
welcome to stay here until the rain stops. I’m afraid if you go back out there
you’ll be soaked all the way through.”

We set the bags on
the counter and Colin took off his almost soaked through jacket, revealing a
tight-fitting pale yellow t-shirt and loose-fitting dark olive shorts slung low
on his hips. He stepped out of his flip-flops, leaving them on the mat to dry,
and I handed him a kitchen towel to dry off his legs and feet. I excused myself
and went into the bedroom to change. My jeans were soaked up to their knees and
my shirt had almost become indecent, clinging to my now wet bra. I changed into
sweatpants and a tank top, pulling my wet hair up into a high pony tail.

I came back out
and saw Colin pulling the cork out of the bottle of wine he’d bought. I hadn’t
noticed him bring it inside, and I felt more confused than ever. He looked up
at me and stopped for a second, smiling, and then pulled the cork free. “I
figured we both could use some of this to warm us up.” I did feel chilled from
the rain, and although it was a bit presumptuous of him to open the wine
without asking, kicking him out and turning down what looked like a fantastic
bottle of merlot seemed rude and impolite. I just hoped the conversation would
be better than our previous exchanges.

“Thanks,” I said
as I reached up on my top shelf, pulled out two wine glasses and set them on
the counter. Colin poured two generous glasses, set the bottle down and handed
one to me. “Here’s to drying out and enjoying the Oregon weather—from
inside the house,” said Colin as he clinked his glass into mine. I smiled and
offered him a seat at the kitchen table. We chit chatted about the area and
about his plans for the summer before leaving for law school. As we drank the
wine and talked, I warmed to Colin. He was nothing but polite, and able to
easily find topics of discussion and keep the conversation going.

As he poured the
last of the wine into our glasses, he looked at me and asked, “So, Jo, how well
do you know Dex exactly?”

Taken a bit aback,
I eyed him cautiously. “What do you mean?”

“Do you know about
his past, about his track record with women? I’m not saying this to be a jerk,
its just that I like you and consider you a friend—a friend I don’t want
to see hurt.” He looked at me with what seemed like concern in his eyes.

His questions and
concern seemed out of place, but he’d been nothing but nice the entire evening
so I relaxed and took a sip of wine. “I know about his reputation, if that’s
what you mean, but I also know what he’s like when he’s with me, and I take him
at his word. He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him or his feelings for me,
and I’m not going to judge him by what he’s done in the past. We all have our
baggage, and it’s not fair to forever hold it against someone,” I said.

Colin pursed his
lips and looked at me. “I suppose you have a point,” he said, “but Jo, you
should be careful. There have been some really ugly rumors about him in town
and things said about him in the papers, and if any of them are true, then he’s
not a good guy, especially where women are involved.” He looked down, seeming
uncomfortable.

“Like what,
exactly?” I asked.

He paused,
weighing his words, before answering, “A few years ago, Dex was dating a
Portland girl named Amber. Things were serious, they were in love, and everyone
thought they were headed for marriage, including Amber. She got pregnant and
when she told Dex, he flew into a rage and demanded she have an abortion. When
she refused, he tried to buy her off with thousands of dollars to not only pay
for the abortion, but to keep her from selling her story. She refused the
money, and decided to keep the baby, but miscarried a few weeks later. She left
Portland after that and moved to Los Angeles. I’m sorry to be the one to have
to tell you all this, Jo, but I thought you should know who you’re dating.”

I looked at Colin,
dumbstruck by his words. Dex had told me he’d never had sex without a condom,
and never had a girlfriend. If what Colin was saying was true, Dex lied to me. If
not, then Colin was telling me a lie for an unknown reason. I looked at Colin,
weighing his sincerity. He appeared genuinely concerned, but our past
interactions still gave me pause. Even if he did have another motive, however,
he had a point. I’ve never been the type to blindly follow someone and I
shouldn’t start now, regardless of how Dex made me feel.

Choosing my words
carefully, I responded, “Thanks Colin, I know you mean well. And I’ll be
careful.” After a moment, I stood up from the table and rinsed my empty glass
in the sink. I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want to kick him out. Thankfully,
he got the hint, handed me his glass and slipped on his sandals.

“Look Jo, you
might not like what I’ve said, but someone needed to tell you. See you around,”
Colin said, shrugging on his jacket and opening the door.

“Thanks for the
wine,” I managed to say as he walked out and shut the door. I washed the wine
glasses in the kitchen sink, mulling over our conversation in my head.

I
had seen the pictures of Dex in the tabloids with countless women, but none seemed
to stick around. And I’d seen no mention of Amber anywhere. If they really did
date seriously, why didn’t he mention her when we were talking and why was
there no mention of her in the papers? If Dex just slept around, like I’d
pretty much come to conclude, I didn’t have a problem with that. He lost both
his parents as a teenager, and that kind of loss did terrible things to you,
that much I knew. Using meaningless sex to fill the void wasn’t that different
from breaking into Portland mansions, and as long as he didn’t lead anyone on
and was safe, then what was the problem? I set the wine glasses down and
frowned, thinking that although part of me wanted to trust Dex, I wasn’t going
to blindly accept what he said. I needed to know for sure if there was any
truth to Colin’s accusations and decide for myself whether I had a cause for
concern.

After work on
Tuesday, I went back to the library and logged on a computer. I searched for
Dex and Amber to see if anything came up. The same pictures I’d seen before of
him and random women appeared and I almost gave up, convinced Colin was being
irrational, when an article headline caught my eye: “Girlfriend dumped after
getting pregnant: Hartley pays for abortion and hush money.” The story tracked
generally what Colin had said, that Dex had been dating a girl named Amber
Moore, gotten her pregnant and offered her money to go away when she refused to
have an abortion. According to the tabloid, Dex denied the story and claimed he
hardly knew Amber, had merely had a meaningless one night stand with her, and
denied the baby was his.

I logged off the
computer, walked out of the library and towards the beach to collect my
thoughts. I sat on the edge of the beach, kicking my flip flops off and burying
my toes in the sand. If the story was true, then Dex treated someone he
supposedly cared about with callous contempt, throwing her away when she became
inconvenient. And he’d lied to me. I didn’t want to fall any harder for someone
who could treat someone that way and lie to me about it. But that didn’t seem
like the Dex I knew and was falling for. And Colin didn’t even live in Cannon
Beach when the tabloid ran the story, so he couldn’t have any first hand
knowledge of situation. But why did Colin feel he needed to warn me about Dex
if it wasn’t true? I wanted to run straight to Dex and ask him all the
questions swimming in my head. Was the story true? Did he love Amber? What
really happened? Why? But Dex was in Portland and I would have to wait until
Friday to ask him anything. I headed home to change into my running gear,
hoping a run would clear my head and calm my thoughts.

By the time Friday rolled around, I had pretty much
talked myself out of asking Dex anything about Amber. The story was just
tabloid fodder and the girl probably got paid thousands of dollars to smear
Dex. Colin didn’t add anything to the story that the tabloid didn’t say first,
and I knew most of those stories were fake. I decided that I trusted Dex enough
to believe he told me the truth when he said he’d had no serious girlfriends in
the past. Colin probably only read the story in the paper and just told me what
he’d read second-hand to cause trouble and break the two of us up.

I pulled on a pair
of worn jeans and a tight fitting, thin-knit sweater. Since Dex and I planned
on getting together at 8:00, and clouds rolling in from the ocean covered the
sky and chilled the summer air, I felt cold even inside my apartment. I slipped
on my new cork wedges and sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for Dex to
arrive. By 8:15, I began to get antsy, strumming my fingers on the table,
crossing my legs and kicking my foot impatiently. By 8:30 I’d given up, opening
the fridge to find something to eat, when I heard an assertive knock on the
door. Shutting the fridge, I grabbed my purse and walked to the door. Opening
it, I could tell Dex’s mood matched the weather. No smile greeted me, no hug,
no kiss. Instead he stood there, grim faced, storm clouds in his eyes, looking
almost angry. I moved out of the way, setting my purse back on the counter. He
came in, shutting the door a little too rough, and I crossed my arms
protectively in front of me, wondering what on earth was going on.

I waited for him
to speak first since his demeanor rattled my nerves. We stood there staring at
each other, Dex almost hostile, me confused and agitated. Finally I couldn’t
take it any more and blurted out, “So are you going to tell me what’s the
matter? Because you’re looking at me like I killed your cat.”

He ran his hand
through his hair, and looked out the window. “When were you going to tell me
about you and Colin?” he finally asked.

“What?” I said,
surprised and confused. “What on earth are you talking about?”

He snorted,
dismissing my response with a roll of his eyes. “Come on Jo, lying doesn’t
become you. I know Colin was over here on Monday night. What did you two talk
about? Did he try to poison you against me?”

I laughed,
disbelieving his ridiculous jealousy. “Colin? William’s little brother? That’s
what this is about? Seriously Dex, get a grip. I ran into him the other day at
Jack’s and it was pouring down rain and he gave me a ride home and we hung out
and chatted before he left and went home. That’s it. I don’t even think he
likes me and I honestly have no idea why he was even here,” I said, about to
try and smooth things over when his words sunk in. “Wait. How do you even know
Colin was here?” I asked.

He crossed his
arms, still defiant and angry. “That’s none of your business,” he responded. “What
matters is you didn’t tell me.”

“No, Dex, hold on,”
I said, becoming more mad than shocked. “It’s none of my business why you know
someone was at my apartment when you were out of town? Are you having me
followed or something? Seriously Dex, you’re freaking me out.” When he didn’t
respond, I felt my anger rising. I wasn’t about to let him jump down my throat
over something completely reasonable. I might be head over heels for him, but I
wasn’t going to be told what to do by anyone, not now, not as a grown woman on
my own.

I went on, seizing
his silence as an opportunity, “And how exactly do you expect me to tell you? You
told me you were out of town and unavailable until tonight. When it started
raining and Colin offered me a ride home on Monday, was I supposed to ask him
to wait so I could hunt you down in Portland and ask your permission for him to
drive me home? You’re being ridiculous!” I crossed my arms and almost stomped
my foot.

He stood there,
still glowering at me, snapping, “You don’t know Colin, Jo. He’s not a good guy
and he’s not trustworthy. He shouldn’t have been here. I won’t allow you to see
him anymore.”

As soon as the
words came out of his mouth, I lost it, my response spilling out before I even
knew what I said. “Oh, you won’t allow me, huh? Well I don’t let anyone order
me around, Dex, you should know that. Is this how you treated Amber too? She
got pregnant and that wasn’t part of your plan so you ordered her to have an
abortion? And when she wouldn’t, you threw her out like garbage? I suppose
that’s why you didn’t want Colin here. You didn’t want him to tell me about
Amber and what you did to her. I suppose that’s what you’re going to do to me
now, too, isn’t it? Well I’ve got news for you: I’m not garbage and you don’t
get to treat me that way. Get out Dex, get out of my apartment. Get out and go
home!”