Breaking Fences (The Breaking Series) (29 page)

A few minutes later, the waitress brought our food. The burger Garrett had ordered for me was bigger than my head, and the portion of fries could feed a soccer team.

“How am I supposed to bite this?”

He chuckled. “It’s supposed to be messy.”

I didn’t really enjoy messy. It took some time and tries, but I finally bit into the burger.

“
Meu Deus
, this is delicious.” I could eat this every day. Shame it wasn’t healthy.

He nodded. “I know.”

I took another bite and moaned. Garrett stopped chewing and watched me with hooded eyes. My cheeks heated, and I forced myself to chew and swallow before I burst into flames. Without taking his eyes from me, Garrett resumed chewing and swallowed.

“We need to talk,” he said, putting his burger down.

“About?” Pretending ignorance wasn’t my forte.

“You know what. The kiss. Or better, the kisses. You and me. Us.”

What was it with him and the need to talk? Guys were the ones who usually avoided the subject, not girls. “Do we need to talk about that? Can’t we just forget it? Pretend it never happened?”

“Do you want to forget about it?”

Not really, but I didn’t have room for that right now. There was too much going on. And, as much as I would like to think I was brave and could be strong enough to parade around campus with a boyfriend, I really wasn’t. Not anymore.

“Look, Garrett, I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

“Who is saying anything about a relationship?”

I leaned back in my seat as if he had delivered me a blow. “Oh.” So what did he want? To kiss here and there? To fool around? Just like the other guys who asked me out every day. No, I wouldn’t make an exception for him. He might make my heart beat faster, and take my breath away every now and then, but I was better than this. I deserved better than a hook up and some hidden kisses. I deserved a guy who saw through my bullshit and insisted on being with me even when my mind betrayed my heart.

Besides, this was too confusing. Even if he wanted something more serious—which didn’t seem the case—I was sure Audrey would spin it into something outrageous and spread more lies.

I looked down at my half-eaten burger. “I don’t really want to talk about this.”

“Why not?”

It stung. The way he wanted to talk about this, whatever
this
was, in a casual manner. As if it didn’t matter. Excuse me, but this was my life and it did matter.

The old Bia would have slapped him, cursed him—in Portuguese—and dumped his drink over his head. She would have done something to release her anger, her indignation.

“I thought you didn’t believe Audrey’s lies,” I hissed, clenching my fists. “I’m not the whore she says I am and I won’t start now.”

His mouth hung open, but one second later, he clamped his lips together. “Where did Audrey come from?”

“Okay, forget about Audrey. So what now? If you don’t want a relationship, then what do you want? I bet it isn’t to make out here and there.”

He ran a hand through his hair, averting his eyes. “I don’t know what I want.”

Why did he bring this subject up, then? Boys! “But you know you don’t want anything serious.”

He turned serious eyes to mine. “I didn’t say that.”

“But you didn’t deny it either.”

“You’re the one who said you’re not ready for a relationship right now.”

I opened my mouth to tell him to go to hell, but quickly shut it again. He was right. I had said that. It was true. Although, when I thought of a relationship with him, I kind of wanted it. But he was right. It wasn’t the time for a serious relationship.

Realizing I had overreacted—or better, acted like the old Bia—I swallowed the embarrassment and forced the new Bia—the calm and quiet Bia, the I-don’t-bitch Bia—to resurface.

I opened my purse, and took a twenty out from my wallet. “I just remembered I have an essay due tomorrow.” I slapped the money on the table. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

“Bia?” Garrett asked, his eyes shining with something similar to concern. I scooted out of the booth. “Bia, where are you going?”

I hurried my steps, exiting the diner and jumping in my car in a matter of seconds.

The worst part of it all? As I backed away from the parking lot, I could see Garrett through the diner window and he hadn’t moved from his seat.

I hadn’t expected him to come after me, of course.

Only, I kind of had expected exactly that.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Hey, pretty girl.” I ran my hand over my mare’s face. Preta nickered and I smiled. “I missed you too.” I leaned into her and she nipped at my neck. “I really did miss you. I missed Leo and Hannah. I missed the guys. I missed home.”

My twin brother and his girlfriend picked me at the airport this afternoon, and brought me to their house at Hannah’s ranch. Leo tried convincing me to go to our parents’ ranch, but I wasn’t in the mood to face them. Not yet. I knew I would have to tomorrow, during Thanksgiving dinner, and that would be enough. So, I just teased he didn’t want me in the house because I would interrupt their naughty schedule.

He reddened. “That’s not it.”

Hannah and I laughed, and he relaxed. As soon as Leo’s SUV parked in front of the house, I flew out the car and ran to the stable, but Preta wasn’t there. I walked into the arena and saw her in the pasture with Argus and Minuano. I whistled and her ears perked. The moment she turned to me, she pushed into a happy gallop, until she was pressed against the fence.

Smiling, I climbed over, flung my legs to the other side, and jumped beside her.

I kissed her face. “If I told you everything, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Last night, Phoebe had come to my dorm—thank goodness, Molly had been out—and I had told her about the latest problems. She barely believed Garrett would be such a jerk and practically suggested we just fool around. A horse would believe me even less.

In turn, Phoebe told me she thought she was in love with Kevin, and she was considering a big night after Thanksgiving break to tell him. I felt happy for her, but I also felt jealous. And guilty and terrible for being jealous.

“I might,” Hannah said. She leaned on the other side of the fence. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Did I? Part of me wanted to ramble, to scream, to punch something hard, but another part of me wanted to be quiet and forget.

“Not really. Not now, at least.”

She nodded. “I understand. But you know I’m here, right? I mean it.”

I smiled. “Thanks.” I patted my mare’s neck. “Are there any plans for tonight that I need to get ready for, or can I just tack her and go for a long ride?”

“Ri, Pedro, and Gui said something about coming by later. I’m not sure. But don’t worry. I won’t serve dinner for at least two hours, so take your time.”

Graças a Deus
. I jumped over the fence again. I didn’t want to leave Preta’s side for one second, but I had to go get the tack from inside the stable. “If they come early, call me. I’ll have my phone with me.”

She walked to the stable beside me. “If they come early, I’ll give them Coke and appetizers and turn the TV on some random soccer game. That should keep them entertained for a bit.”

I nodded, amazed at how well she knew them. And me. Well, sort of. She had known me well, until I went to that damned university and became a messed up, wimpy little girl.

“I’m glad Leo found you,” I said, feeling a little jealous too.

She paused in front of the tack room door. “Bia, are you feeling well?”

I chuckled. “I know, right? Me, emotional?”

“Yeah, not something I see every day. Or, well, ever.” She touched my arm. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”

I patted her hand. “Not now. I need to go riding first.”

She nodded and gestured toward the tack room. “Do you need help with it?”

I gave her an are-you-mad look. “Really?”

She shrugged. “Just being polite.”

I nudged her ribs with my elbow. “Sometimes you’re too polite.”

She tease-curtsied. “I do what I can.” We laughed. “All right. I’ll let you to it. Go relax.”

“That’s exactly what I’ll do.”

She winked and I waved her off, before entering the tack room. I grabbed all I needed, and headed out again. Preta was still in the same spot, waiting for me. She nickered and stomped her hooves when she saw me approaching her.

She twitched as I ran a hand over her soft coat. A little to her right, a lonely dandelion caught my attention. I picked it up. “What should I wish for, pretty girl?” She nickered and I chuckled. “Exactly that.” I closed my eyes.
I wish to be happy.
If only that was simple. I blew on the flower and watched as the white fluffs flew away. “All right, let’s get you ready. You excited, pretty girl?”

I put the tack on her, and once I was up and ready, she set out in a beautiful gallop and we rode around the ranch. The wind in my face, my hair flying behind me, the setting sun, all of those were the same things I wished for at Rocky Hill Ranch, but the horse made all the difference. When I was riding Midnight, it felt almost the same. Almost. He wasn’t mine, but Preta was. And she would always be my mare, my partner, my friend. She was gentle, loyal, and respectful.

If only more humans were like her, life wouldn’t be so complicated.

***

The guys came and all we did was drink Coke, eat whatever food was available, talk shit, and tease each other.
Meu Deus
, how I missed them. Seeing them, them wanting to know how I was, what I did, saying they missed me, even if it was “I missed teasing you” made me realize I hadn’t appreciated them enough. When I left, I was only worried about me. I wanted to get out of their shadow, be by myself, live my life, but never for one second did I stop to think that maybe I would miss my life with them. They weren’t just my blood; they were my friends.

By this time last year, Ri, Pedro, and Gui had their own apartment in Santa Barbara, leaving me alone at my parents’ house. I didn’t mind much, especially since I knew I could crash at their place, or Hannah’s and Leo’s place, any time.

To entertain us, Gui told us about their wild parties, and the events they hosted at their place. Apparently, they had been partying more and more since I moved away.

The get together was so fun that they left after two in the morning, and only because Leo kicked them out.

“The horses will wake up early no matter what,” he said, shoving them out the door. “And I gotta be up with them.”

Graças a Deus
, I didn’t have anything to do until the afternoon the next day, because I really wanted to sleep in. However, the banging of pots and pans coming from downstairs woke me up. I buried my face under my pillow, but now I couldn’t get back to sleep.

Grunting, I switched my pajamas for sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee, and trudged downstairs. Hannah was in the kitchen, but it could have been the middle of war. There were three pots going on the range; the oven was on; steak on a cutting board; potatoes in a bowl; onions and tomatoes in another; flour, sugar, and baking soda on the counter; and eggs, butter, and milk out of the fridge. Her laptop was open on the island, and she looked like a lost chicken in her own kitchen.

“What happened?”

Startled, she whirled on me and almost knocked me out with a wooden spoon. “Sorry. Good morning. Sleep well?”

“If you’re trying to ask if I heard you and my brother, no I didn’t.”

Her fair cheeks got a red tint as she stirred something in a pot. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay, seriously, what happened here?”

“Well, it’s almost noon, and I’m trying to cook lunch and get ahead with tonight’s dinner, but I’m starting to regret it.” She sighed. “I should have focused on lunch first, then dinner, even if I spent all day in the kitchen.”

I glanced at the clock on my phone. Shit, it really was almost noon. I had slept a lot after all. “Leo isn’t helping you?”

“He was, but he went to check on the horses. Jimmy is off today.”

I pulled my hair into a ponytail. “I can help you. Just tell me what to do?”

“I’m making
carreteiro
with leftover steak from
churrasco
—”

I laughed. One and a half years ago, who would have guessed Hannah Taylor would cook Brazilian meals? And she wasn’t half-bad. On my goodness scale, she only lost to my mother. Even though I knew how to cook, I bet I lost to her too.

“Are you trying to please me?” I asked, pulling a clean cutting board from a cabinet.

She shrugged. “I figured you were eating a lot of fast food and missing a homemade meal. A
real
homemade meal.”

I winked at her. “Is it during this meal that you declare your love for me and ask for my hand in marriage?”

She laughed. “Oh, no,
guria
, you gotta work more for that.” She slapped by butt before turning to the steaks.