Breaking Even (12 page)

He nibbled on her nipple and Lindsey
almost came off the bed. He flicked her with the nail of his thumb and Lindsey
gasped, too wound up to breathe. Then, as if something let go inside her, a
wave pulsed through her. The breathed out in a big whoosh, feeling the release
almost immediately.

“Wow. What was that?” she asked,
instinctively moving her hand to cover his, pulling him away.

“Just a sample, a taste of things to come,
when you’re ready,” he whispered, smiling.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do more?”
she asked, her voice trailing into nothingness.

“We will. When you’re sure.”

He turned off the lights and snuggled
behind her. She could feel his chest moving as he breathed, his chest hair
tickling just a little.

Lindsey tried to relax. She thought about
each of her arms and legs becoming weightless. She thought about floating in
the sea. Normally, that eased her mind, but tonight nothing worked.

The heat came from him in waves. She
forced her breathing to even out. She heard the minute his breathing changed
and he slept. She thought she would be able to relax then, but sleep still
eluded her.

What would it be like to be so comfortable
with someone that she wanted to snuggle in his arms all night? Lindsey couldn’t
imagine. Sleep for her was something to do apart, not all piled up together.

The music stopped. She looked at the clock
by the bed. It had been over an hour and she was no closer to sleep. It didn’t
make sense that she could fall asleep with him in her bed in Clemson but not
here.

He shifted and his hand cupped her bottom.
That wasn’t helping her attempt to relax. Lindsey bit her lip. Now all she
could think about was that warm hand on her naked bottom. Not sure what else to
do, she eased out from under his touch. Using the moonlight pouring into the
bedroom, she crept into the other bedroom.

Lindsey didn’t even bother turning on a
light. She dressed in her sleep shirt and fresh panties and climbed in bed. She
fell asleep without even closing the curtains.

#

Pretending to be
asleep, Ric watched as Lindsey abandoned the bed and slipped out. He had hoped
she would relax and fall asleep, but her issues ran deep. He thought pulling
her into his embrace would soothe her mind, but it had not.

After a while had passed and she didn’t
return, he went to check on her. She was sleeping soundly in the other room.
Disappointed, he went back to his own bed. He told himself that she just needed
time. She was so young, but how could he convince her that the two of them were
meant to be together?

Ric did not sleep well. He woke several
times, and each time it took him longer to go back to sleep. Finally, when the
sun rose at five in the morning, he got up and sat on the back porch, watching
the morning tide come in. An eerie mist floated over the beach, but as soon as
the sun gained its full light, the mist faded.

After a few cups of coffee, he had better
perspective. He still felt a strong connection with Lindsey. He just had to be
patient. He knew that she completed him, but he had to give her time to find
that out.

Of course she had
agreed to go to the funeral with him
—how could she not—but she was under no
illusions. It would be a long day, and it would not be fun.

Lindsey stepped out of the shop, by now
experienced enough in the high heels that she didn’t wobble. She fingered the
emerald green silk, still nervous about going to the funeral. She had chosen a
sheath dress with a lace overlay, heels dyed to match, and a broad hat that
swooped down over one eye. She felt way too overdressed.

Ric waited for her outside on the bench.
She didn’t know how he wasn’t pouring sweat in his long-sleeved dress shirt and
tie. He had left his jacket in the car. He stood up to greet her. “You look
beautiful.”

“Are you sure this is what I should wear?
The clerk picked it out, but it feels overdone.”

“No, it’s perfect. You will fit right in.”

Despite his reassurance, Lindsey still had
her doubts. She hadn’t gone to many funerals, but she remembered guests in
dark-colored church clothes. This dress was too bright and it felt more like
something one would wear to a celebration. The straight skirt had a long slit
in the back but was still difficult to maneuver into the tall car. He helped
her into the front seat of his SUV.

“I thought you said that there weren’t
many people living on the island?”

“We have a thousand or so, but the ones
who don’t live at the resort live in this one village.”

“Oh. And you’re sure I’m not intruding?”

“Not at all. You’re my guest. We’ll pick
up the food from the resort then head over.”

Ric drove up the hill to the main resort
and pulled behind to the staff entrance.

“What is that?”

“Chef Etienne prepared food for the
gathering after.”

Lindsey waited in the car while Ric helped
the kitchen staff load the food. She squirmed in the pantyhose, which she never
would have worn, but the shop clerk had insisted.

"The church is formal. It will be
expected,” she had said. Lindsey hated pantyhose, but she had agreed, not
wanting to stand out.

With the food loaded, they set off past
the airport and up a winding curvy road into the hills. When he turned down a
gravel road with deep ruts, Lindsey gripped the door handle to avoid slamming
into Ric. Trees and undergrowth crowded the narrow road, so close she could
reach out the window and touch the leaves. She took a deep breath, trying to
avoid a panic attack.

“This road is in bad shape,” she said.

“Yes, the last big hurricane washed a lot
of it away. We plan to repair it as soon as the rainy season ends in November.
Until then, they limp along. The islanders who have vehicles all have
four-wheel drives. A shuttle picks up for the two main shifts, and some of them
walk the three miles home just to be outside."

As they rounded the bend, a small white
church with a plain steeple came into view. The village consisted of a church
and small buildings made of tabby or painted clapboard. Green grass formed a
village square in the center. Villagers poured into the open space from small
whitewashed houses. Two main paths roads circled around a green village square
that had a covered stage. The stage was ready with chairs and a PA system, all
under a large white canopy. Under the canopy, a hundred chairs faced the stage.

He found the man coordinating the meal, a
big native Bahamian who he introduced as Dureau. They shook hands and Dureau
smiled, showing perfect white teeth too big for his mouth.

“Mama Odie would sure thank you for all
that you’ve done. She loved you like a grandson,” Dureau said. He kept his
smile, but his lips trembled enough for her to know he had loved her.

“I know, Dureau. I loved her too. She
reached out to me when I came to the island. Without her, we wouldn’t be as
successful as we are today.” The two men hugged, and then Ric stepped back.

“This is Lindsey. We met few months ago,
and she is the best thing to happen to me since I opened this resort. Lindsey,
meet Dureau, Jacquetta’s brother.”

“Nice to meet you,” she said, offering her
hand.

“Likewise,” he said. He bowed over her
hand in an old world gesture that seemed odd coming from someone so large.

Ric pointed out the food in the back of
the van, and gave Dureau the keys. “Our cooks made a feast for Mama Odie’s
family and friends. When you get everything unloaded, just leave the windows
down and park it in the shade. I don’t want that food smell to accumulate.”

“Will do, man. Thank you.”

Ric slapped the big man on the back. After
they left Dureau with the food, they walked over to the main square of the
village.

“Her name was Odie?”

“Odette, but everyone called her Mama
Odie. Even people completely unrelated. Her family emigrated here from Haiti
when she was a young thing. Some say she brought the voodoo with her, but if
she did, she never used it to harm anyone. She was a gentle old soul.”

“The service isn’t in the church?” she
asked, surprised.

“No, it only holds about fifty people.”

She watched as people went into the
church. “Oh. Well, if the service isn’t in there, what are they doing?”

“The casket is open for viewing inside the
church. Anyone who wants to view the body can go in.”

“Are you going to?”

Ric shrugged. “It’s expected,” he said.
“But you don’t have to.”

Lindsey wasn’t interested in the viewing,
but she felt that her place should be beside Ric. “It’s fine. I’ll walk with
you.”

Inside the church, Lindsey saw that the
shop clerk had not steered her wrong. The women wore bright, cheerful colors
with big hats. The few women in black huddled around the casket and wore veils
draped over their hats and faces. Lindsey averted her eyes, not sure what to
think.

“Want Wick!” A child screamed, running
away from his mother, one of the women in black.

“Rudy, come back!” A tall thin woman in
black ran towards a little boy who ran across the church to hurl himself into
Ric’s arms. Ric took it in stride and scooped him up.

The woman got closer. When she pulled the
veil off her face and draped it around her neck, Lindsey recognized Jacquetta.

“He’s been begging for you,” she told Ric.
"He loved Mama Odie and doesn’t understand why she won’t wake up.”

“Want Wick!” he said sobbing, and buried
his face in Ric’s shoulder.

Jacquetta looked from Ric to Lindsey. “I’m
sorry—he just doesn’t understand.”

“I don’t mind holding him. He is
el mío
,
my
bróder pequeño
,” Ric said.

Lindsey smiled at the little boy, who
looked like a little Ric with a white dress shirt and black pants. His rolled
up pants showed off his dusty feet.

“I’m Lindsey,” she offered, holding up her
hand for a high-five. Rudy ignored her and stuffed his thumb in his mouth.

“He’s shy,” Ric mouthed over the little
boy’s head.

They approached the casket, a simple pine
box set across a stand. Lindsey glanced at the woman in the casket, a small
woman with gray hair and a face with few lines. She looked peaceful. Lindsey
could understand why Rudy was upset that she wouldn’t wake up. She looked as if
she was just taking a nap.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Lindsey
murmured when she reached the receiving line. She shook hands with each of the
women standing around the head of the casket. Some of them pulled their veils
back, but some didn’t. The only sound was their quiet sobs and the murmurs from
people talking as they waited.

Lindsey teared up a bit, thinking of her
own mother. She suppressed her remembered pain from when she lost her mother to
the cancer. This day wasn’t about her. They filed back outside where all the
chairs were set up.

Rudy wouldn’t let go of Ric, so Ric
continued to hold him when they sat down on the far left of the front row. The
seats filled up the longer they sat there. Several men came up and shook Ric’s
hand. Lindsey shook hands with them when they offered, but most nodded and took
their seats. She noticed Xavier standing back against the tree line. He
acknowledged her with a nod, but otherwise kept his eye on the crowd.

The funeral started with several hymns
sang without any books or music. The mournful voices rang clear in the village,
echoing off the small buildings. Without knowing the words, Lindsey felt
awkward. She just waited, fanning herself with the printed program. The heat
swirled around them, multiplied by so many bodies packed together. At least the
canopy shielded them from the worst of the sun’s rays.

After the priest spoke, Ric stood up and
gave a short homily. Still holding Rudy on his hip, Ric praised Mama Odie for
her help in starting the resort.

“She watched the children before we could
afford a childcare center. When we had a building and hired more teachers, she
taught the first preschoool classes. Her babies—her words, not mine—started school
already fluent in French and English. The best we can do for Mama Odie is to
live our lives with love, laughter, family, and friendship.”

When he sat back down, Lindsey squeezed
Ric’s hand. Rudy had fallen asleep, his thumb still in his mouth.

Four of the grandchildren spoke of Mama
Odie's wisdom when it came to marriage and children. Jacquetta was the final
speaker.

“Mama Odie warned me to never settle. She
said I would find the man who meant for me, but that I shouldn’t settle along
the way. I love you, Mama Odie, and I’ll never forget.” She looked straight at
Ric, and Lindsey wished she were anywhere but there. It didn’t matter what Ric
said. The woman had a serious thing for him, whether he could see it or not.

The service ended with another old hymn
sung half in English and half in French. The pallbearers lifted the casket and
bore it out of the church for the graveside service. They passed with a unified
march, expressions somber as they honored their beloved matriarch.

As Lindsey walked across the graveyard,
her heels sank into the grass. She held Ric's arm for balance.

When the graveside service finished, the
family visited with guests. Dureau directed the people setting up the food.

Everyone lined up to get food at the funeral
banquet organized by Dureau. Rudy woke up and went with his mother to eat, but
he never took his eyes off Ric. Tables with benches had been set up under the
trees, and Ric and Lindsey found a seat. The meal included roasted pork,
grilled fish, potatoes, salads, and fresh fruit. Xavier joined them, along with
a couple of skinny teenage girls who kept making eyes at Xavier and Ric.

Lindsey tried to make conversation, but
the girls were too busy giggling to talk. When they left, Lindsey shook her
head.

“I don’t remember being that giggly as a
teenager.”

“From what I have seen, all teenage girls
giggle. That’s what they do,” Ric offered.

“This has been a long day,” Lindsey said.
“I did not expect we would be gone this long.”

“It is an all-day affair, but we can leave
after the meal,” Ric reassured her.

Lindsey didn't want to intrude on the
family’s grief, so sooner they left, the better. Jacquetta kept glaring at her
from across the room, but she just smiled and kept talking to Ric.

“How old is Rudy?” she asked.

“He just turned four.” Ric started on his
dessert, a fried fruit pie of some sort. Lindsey was so full she hadn’t even
bothered with dessert.

“He likes you a lot,” she offered.

“He hangs around the office some, and I
always keep toys and candy for him. It’s traumatic losing someone when you’re
that young. I’m sure his mother’s been distracted the past few days, so I can
hardly blame him for focusing on me today.”

“Where is his dad?” Lindsey asked.

Ric shrugged. “His mom graduated from
college and came back to the island expecting. We assume it was someone she met
there. She didn't want to talk about it.”

Lindsey nodded. “I understand. After
everything my mother went through to raise us alone, I admire single mothers.”

Ric glanced at his watch. “Well, it’s
after four. We need to get back.”

Ric and Lindsey told Jacquetta good-bye
and got back in the SUV. They asked about Rudy, but she said he was playing
with the other children. She didn’t want them to go find him in case he got
upset over Ric leaving. Dureau thanked them again for the food and said he
would bring the food containers back to the resort.

#

Once they got back
to the villa, Ric parked his car under the portico. Lindsey had surprised him
by going to the funeral and by joining in with the activities. It couldn
’t have been fun
for her to be thrust into an uncomfortable situation like that.

“You’re leaving the windows open?” Lindsey
asked as they got out.