Authors: MK Harkins
A flush of adrenaline tingled through my body.
I’m attracted to her like no other woman I’ve ever met.
That’s why I was experiencing this intense physical reaction. Once again, I zoned in on her lips. Those lips. Without lipstick, they were plump and natural. I needed to get myself together, and fast.
“It’s settled then. I’ll have my personal assistant, Julie, give you a call with the pertinent information. It’s one of our biggest events this year. I think you’ll enjoy yourself.” I spoke directly to Jain, my eyes not leaving hers. She matched my stare, unwavering. We were in an eye-lock showdown when Colin interrupted.
“Alrighty then.” He grabbed Jain by the arm. “We’ll just get going now. Some shopping should be in order. Right, Jain?”
She broke the stare and shuddered. “Why would I want to go shopping?” Her brow furrowed.
“Oh, I give up!” Colin answered. “We’re going to get you into something other than a business suit or lab coat.”
Jain’s already large eyes grew huge. She kept her voice a whisper as she replied, “Can we talk about this later?” But I heard her loud and clear, of course. What I sensed in her before seemed to be a fact. Jain was a reclusive workaholic.
“The dress is formal. Will that be a problem?” I asked.
I heard a snort, an actual snort, coming from Jain. Colin gave her an elbow, this time for everyone to see.
“I’ve got this covered. Jain and I will go shopping next week,” he assured me. “This won’t be a problem,” he continued, followed by a warning glare. “Isn’t that right, Jain?”
She didn’t answer, but nodded slowly.
“It’s settled then.” He smiled. “Let’s get out of here before they change their minds.”
They said their goodbyes and left, moving at a normal pace, but I sensed they wanted to make a dash for the door. They had no need to worry. I never reneged once I made a decision.
When they entered the elevators, Todd turned to me. “Are you crazy? We were going to pass this one off. We don’t have the time or resources to fundraise and invest in this business. Why did you get their hopes up?”
“I didn’t get their hopes up. We’re doing it,” I stated firmly.
“Holy shit.” He shook his head. “I knew it would happen one day, but I didn’t think it would be so soon, and with someone like…” He stopped.
“First of all, nothing is going on. Second, what do you mean, someone like? Someone like Jain? I’m doing this purely for business reasons, and I don’t understand what your reference is. What’s wrong with Jain?” I said through gritted teeth.
“It’s not Jain per se. It’s the type of woman she is. She’s nothing like your other girlfriends.” Todd shifted in his seat, fixing his tie. He knew he was digging a hole for himself.
“I don’t have girlfriends, so it would be hard for you to compare.” I wanted him to mind his own business before things got heated.
“Okay. I get it. I’ll shut up now. Just be careful with this one. There’s something about her… I don’t know, something doesn’t add up.” He shrugged, apparently as confused about her as I.
“She does seem to be very involved in the business, but that doesn’t seem unreasonable. I got the vibe she’s a bit of a recluse. Most women would jump to attend a social event like this. She acted like we invited her to a public hanging. I’m not interested, so you can get that out of your head.”
Liar.
TEN
Jain
“Ouch! You’re squeezing all the blood from my arm.” I broke free from Colin and his death grip on my elbow.
“We need to exit the building before they change their minds. I could feel it. They weren’t going to take us on.” He turned toward Martin. “Right? You’ve been in this business for a long time. Didn’t you think they were going to decline, or pass us on to someone else?”
Martin replied, “I think Colin’s right. It did appear that was their plan at the beginning of our meeting. Somewhere along the way, I think Mr. Decker did change his mind.”
“I know why,” Colin said under his breath.
“I heard that. What the heck do you mean? You keep alluding to some big chemistry thing. There is no chemistry!” I could feel my blood pressure rise.
Colin took my arm again, continuing to pull me out of the building.
“You can let go now!” I narrowed my eyes in warning.
He stopped and turned toward me. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a deep breath. “No. I don’t.”
“I think you do. For some reason, Braydon – or Mr. Decker – is interested in you. I don’t know why with the ‘don’t get near me vibe’ you always send out. Maybe he likes hard to get.”
“Impossible to get,” I muttered to myself.
“You’re right about that.” He nodded in agreement.
“How did you hear that? It’s like I can’t have a thought to myself.” I loved Colin. I did. But he needed to give me some space before I did something stupid – like kick him.
“We’ve been working side by side for so long, you don’t need to mumble your thoughts. I always know what you’re thinking.” He smiled his charming, loveable smile, and I couldn’t be angry anymore.
“I guess I can live with that. I’m glad you’re my best friend, but you have to back off with this Braydon thing. He’s like the antithesis of what I’m looking for in a man. I take that back. I’m not looking for a man at all, but if I were, he’d be the opposite of every quality I’d want. You know all about his reputation. Remember? He’s never spent more than six hours with any one woman – and he’s been around – a lot.”
Colin raised his eyebrows “I’ve only told you a little about him. How did you get the extra info?”
I replied, “Google is my friend. Now let’s just drop it, okay? I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“Jain! You have to quit believing everything you read. You’re a scientist. You know better than that.” He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.
Martin cleared his throat. Oh no, I forgot about Martin.
“Sorry Martin. I guess we should focus on our business plan and fundraiser.” Colin pressed the unlock button on his keychain.
Colin, still in a hurry, guided me to in the passenger seat of his BMW sports sedan. Martin hopped into the backseat. It appeared they were both still in getaway mode.
“I think Colin’s right. We should get out of the parking lot before they come find us and tell us it’s off. If they turn us down at this point, I think we’d have to close down.” He peered out the window toward the building. His eyes moved back and forth between the two exits, fixing his tie and shifting in his seat.
Why is he so nervous?
“Is that what you both believe? He wouldn’t go back on his offer. I know I don’t have the highest regard for Mr. Decker, but I don’t think he’d do that. His reputation is at stake.” I felt confident we had a solid deal with him.
“Maybe she’s right, Colin. Let’s get back to the office and put the finishing touches on our business plan. He’ll want it messengered over by tomorrow.” Once we entered the highway back to our offices, Martin sat back and seemed to relax a little.
***
Six hours and two double Caramel Macchiatos later, we had our business plan sent to BCD Funding Solutions.
“I’m exhausted. Let’s get some dinner and head home,” Colin suggested.
We weren’t roommates, but we were next door neighbors.
I slid into Colin’s luxurious BMW sports sedan for the twenty minute car ride home. My car, the Ford Escape, was too practical for Colin. So every day, we carpooled together in his car. We worked the same hours, so it was a no-brainer.
“Whose turn for dinner?” I asked.
“Mine. Thai?” he replied.
“Sounds great. Phad See Ew?” My absolute favorite.
“Yeah, I’ll also order Shrimp Phad Thai, extra bean sprouts.”
“And extra peanuts. Don’t forget.”
“Jain?”
“Huh?”
“Are you happy?”
What the hell?
“What brought that on?” I was afraid to hear his answer.
“We work twelve hours a day and have zero social life. I don’t mind most of the time. But do you? Do you ever get lonely?”
“How could I ever get lonely with you around? Wait, are you lonely?” I’d feel horrible if I found it was because of me that he hadn’t been dating. I always figured it was because of our crazy work schedule.
“No, not really. But after today, I’m starting to wonder. Maybe we should think about getting a life outside work.” He started his car and backed out of the parking space.
“What do you mean, after today?” No, please.
Don’t go there.
“The way Braydon looked at you. It was passion, Jain. He wants you.”
He did it. He went there.
“I’m just going to say this once, so please listen. Just…no. There is no way! Look at me. I’m not the type of girl he dates. Not even close. I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t me he focused on. Maybe he has the stomach flu. Maybe his look of passion was actually pain. He surrounds himself with outrageously beautiful women. Not just pretty, but supermodel-type.”
“You aren’t plain and you know it. You dress down to keep men away. I’ve never asked you because I didn’t feel it was my place, but…what the hell happened? Who did this to you?” Colin put his hand over mine while driving with the other.
I remembered Jackson and the night that changed my life. The evening of our senior prom started out so hopeful. I was seventeen; Jackson was eighteen. I thought it would be a night to remember. I remembered it all right, but for all the wrong reasons. I closed my eyes and drifted back to that evening…
“It was our senior prom. He told me I was beautiful and that he loved me,” I cleared my throat and continued. “I’d been dating Jackson for a few months. He was handsome and popular, captain of the basketball team. You know the type? He had everything–good looks, athletic ability, and charm. Every girl at our school wanted to date him, and he chose me. I was so flattered that I missed the warning signs.” I took a breath and continued. “So, we ended up at the Hilton Hotel after the dance. We were supposed to be meeting with some other friends to party, but it didn’t end up that way. I found out later that it was planned. All the boys booked separate rooms. I’m not sure if the other girls knew, but I sure didn’t.”
Colin gripped the wheel, knuckles white. “Did he..?”
“No, he didn’t. He had always treated me with respect. But that night, he was insistent. He kept saying we needed to move it to the next level. I told him no, that I wanted to wait until I was older. I was worried about becoming a teenaged mom. I knew that condoms weren’t a hundred percent effective, and I wasn’t taking birth control.” I felt embarrassed admitting all this to Colin, but I’d started, and I was determined to finish.
“He kept repeating how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. You know what? I fell for it – hook, line and sinker. I was such an idiot!”
Colin reached over and held my hand. “Shhh. No, you weren’t. He took advantage of you. He saw a vulnerable, beautiful woman and decided to take what he wanted. He knew about your mom, right?”
I nodded.
“With that knowledge, you’d think a decent human being wouldn’t put so much pressure on you. He took you when you weren’t ready.” Colin kept driving, but I could tell it was a struggle for him. He was alert, but his eyes shifted to me every few seconds.
“I’m okay.”
“I know, you’re so strong, Jain. But I want to hear the rest of the story. How did it end?”
“Oh, well, once he was finished, he couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. I specifically said ‘he’ because it was all about him, for him. He jumped me, taking about three minutes. We were still wearing all our clothes. He took what he wanted and, right after, started calling his friends to put together an early morning party. He brought his cell into the bathroom where I overheard his conversation. I knew by the time Jackson went to call his friends that things were over between us. I felt it. I was a conquest for him, just like one of his basketball games. I hadn’t wanted to eavesdrop, but the conversation came through the hotel door loud and clear. He said, ‘Mission accomplished. I bagged the Brainy Beauty! A little sweet talking and she was putty in my hands.’ After that he said, ‘I think the cheerleader will be next up. I think her name is Kate or Katie. She’s hot!’ It was awful, Colin.” I put my hands over my face, reliving the memory. I felt like a fool all over again. “Oh, God,” I whispered through my hands.
Colin remained silent, but his hands continued to squeeze the steering wheel.
“The whole experience was painful and awkward. He used me then tossed me aside like garbage. I remembered at the time thinking my looks were responsible. If I hadn’t been pretty, he would have passed me by. Not to mention, I threw out my morals for a guy that didn’t even love me. I knew the risks and complied anyway.” I took a deep breath to steady myself.
“That day changed me. I knew I’d never be able to trust a man again. I mean, how could I? I trusted Jackson, and he fooled me. I thought he cared for me, and he didn’t. I know what you’re going to say – all men aren’t like Jackson. But I can’t risk it. I can’t risk getting used and hurt like that again. Not when I have so much to accomplish. I have to be at the top of my game to complete our research. I can’t let down my guard. I can’t let my mom down.”
“You know she’d be proud of you.” He squeezed my hand. “But I don’t think she’d want you to give up such a big part of yourself. Don’t let that idiot define you. You deserve to be loved, to be happy, and maybe even one day to have children.”
“Jackson isn’t the only reason I feel like this. Part of it has to do with my mom.” I wasn’t ready to tell him the entire story of my mom yet. Maybe one day.
Colin pulled into his parking space and took me into his arms.
“I know it was hard having your mom die that way. But Jain, you need to live. We both need to live. This is a wake up call, for both of us.” He smoothed back my hair. “You were only nineteen when she died. That’s a hard age to lose your mom; I get that. We’ll still get that cure, but maybe we can start living a normal life and find a balance with our work?” He smiled.