Break Your Heart (16 page)

Thirteen

             
As the morning approached 8:00 a.m., Gina’s eyes opened quickly with the energy that the excitement of the day brought with it. She jumped out of bed and through the shower before dressing in maroon skinny jeans, a light long sleeve cropped fitted cardigan over a black cami with lace trimming the top and bottom.  She hooked the short double strand of thick cream-colored pearls over her neck and slipped her right hand through the matching bracelet.

             
She watched her face in the mirror as it beamed with anticipation while she blew out her hair and ran a flat iron through it. She took her time, carefully and artistically applying a mix of shadows and liners over her eyes giving them a bright and energetic pop.  She lightly brushed loose powder over her smooth skin giving it an even more flawless appearance. Gina ran her tongue over her mouth before applying a light gloss on her plump lips and popped the stick into her side pocket. 

             
She took her time going down each stair, noting the weakness her legs felt from the subtle tremble of nerves in her body.  As she hit the bottom of the stairs, she caught a glance of herself in the rectangular mirror that hung above a line of coat hooks by her front door. The butterflies in her stomach seemed physically noticeable as she wore the nerves for the day on her face.

She slipped her feet into the black flats that she had kicked off the night before next to her front door and grabbed her small black leather Coach purse off one of the coat hooks on the wall.

Her mood was defined today by the excitement of what was to come. Excitement…and the unknown of what the day was going to bring fueled her. After taking a deep breath and arming herself with a surge of confidence, Gina opened her front door to the porch and hopped down the two steps skipping down her walkway over to her car.

Although it took only
forty minutes before she entered the streets of Kipshaw the drive seemed to drag on forever. A few short blocks after she passed the
Welcome to Kipshaw
sign she found herself turning down their street, a path she had driven many times before. The house appeared quickly after she turned looking exactly the same as she had remembered it. The two-story brick colonial with it’s muted red door sat on three acres of impeccably groomed landscaping. She took a left, turning into the driveway behind the house and parked her car on the large oval drive that connected the extra garage space and second story guesthouse to the main home.  She turned off her engine and sat idle in her seat.

Grant was standing on the deck to the left above her with his arms resting on the railing. Watching her, watching him.  She could feel heat rising
through her body and up into her throat, almost choking her. She shut her eyes and squeezed them tight as she reached for the door handle pushing it open. Gina stepped out of the car, taking her time to shut the door. She thought for a moment about getting back in the car. Her hand stayed on the door handle for what felt like minutes as she decided whether or not she was going to go through with the day. Rustling through her hesitation, she turned herself around and looked up towards him.

“Hi,” she shouted. Her voice was shaky, shooting out her nerves with her words. She looked up to him with her hand above her eyes to block the bright sun.  The butterflies that had filled her stomach
broke freely, swarming her entire body.

“Hey you,” Grant replied as he disappeared from the deck.  The sound of his footsteps came down the side of the guesthouse. Seconds later he appeared around the corner heading towards her.  He came walking at first, and then almost running before picking her up with one quick scoop.  He squeezed her tight giving her a half spin around before setting her
feet back to the ground. 

“Thanks for coming. It’s great to see you.” His smile was large and h
is voice was bursting with elation. He gently placed a hand on each side of her head, softly holding it as he kissed her forehead. He watched her carefully as she fidgeted in the awkwardness of the moment. Staying calm and collected, Grant took advantage of her lost thoughts and used the brief moment to scan her presence.  It was as equal parts exciting as it was mind boggling to have her here with him.  All of the rationale, all of the logic and all of the wisdom that often rolled around in that head of his had decided to take a break on this one.  This pure moment of bliss, this moment in the making of how many Yeahrs, this moment was here. And he wanted to take in every piece of it.

“It’s great to see you too,”
Gina replied casually. Pretending like this was no big deal was becoming more difficult than she thought. She realized the moment she was now in and the enormity of it.  This was Grant Foster. This was the person who once again had become a figure living in a fantasy in her ever-wondering thoughts. This was a moment she had thought about endlessly. A moment she had played out in her mind over and over again when she needed an escape from the realities of her life.  Standing here now, she realized, was not a fantasy, but reality. “It’s you,” she whispered. Seeing Grant before her didn’t feel real. So much time had passed since the last time she saw him. Looking at him now she realized the Yeahrs she had missed with him. She didn’t know him anymore. He was a man now, she a women. They were no longer those two kids who fell hopelessly in love.

“Yep,” he replied quietly.  “It’s you.” He stared at her with his eyes slightly squinted and his head cocked to the right, watching, as she appeared to sort the situation in her mind.

“What?” She asked. Her mind had traveled back into reality with heightened interest for the entire unknown that would take place next. He was looking at her with that mischievous stare that would often cross his face. She remembered how something was always brewing in that mind of his. Some level of complex thought or emotions she could almost never understand.

“Nothing,” he smiled large like a child harboring a secret. “You. Look. Great.”

Silence settled between them as they peered back at one another. Their inhales and exhales fell into unison becoming the most noticeable sound around them. 

“Come on up,” Grant finally got out, “I made breakfast.” He slipped his hand into hers and lightly pulled her behind him towards the stairs on the side of the guesthouse. 

The beat of their feet climbing the stairs matched the thump of Gina’s bumping heart. “Why are you staying up here?” She asked as they reached the deck at the top of the stairs.

“When I bought my house in North Carolina and officially moved out, Ashley thought it was only fair that she get my room since it was bigger.  Momma turned her old room into a sewing haven.  So it was either the couch or the guesthouse.” 

“I see.” She said, taking a seat at one of the four chairs around the glass table on the deck.

“Make your
self comfortable.” He grabbed the handle of the sliding glass door and made his way into the guesthouse.

Gina stared off at the trees in the distance that lined their property.  The trees that scattered throughout the yard were whistling lightly as the wind blew through their leaves.  She took in a slow deep breath as the wind passed t
hrough her hair, smiling to herself in the serene moment of solitude.  She felt calm. At peace. Happy. She enjoyed what it felt like Yeahrs before to sit in the yard, drinking wine and listening to Grant play his guitar until the morning light sent them to bed. She began to smile and giggle at the memories of what felt like summers of endless nights at the Foster house.  For a moment, she thought about what it would be like, today, to be back with him. What it would be like to be back at the house for late night dinners and bottles of wine with his folks. To listen to Grant sing to her, as she lay tightly wrapped in his arms. To lie on the couch with her glass of wine making request after request of the same songs she loved to hear him play.

A dog barking loudly in the near distance abruptly cut her thoughts. 
What are you doing? What are you doing here?
She leaned towards the door peering into the house, watching Grant move around the kitchen.
God, he looks good.
She observed him quietly as the feelings she locked up behind her heart continued to seep into her conscious.
You’re engaged Gina, so is he.
She looked down at the two-carat princess cut ring that wrapped her finger.  She took in a deep breath forcing her mind to dismiss all thoughts of the past and focus merely on the now.

Grant approached the sliding glass door with his hands full.
“Hey, babe.” His words muffled through the glass.

Gina hop
ped up from her chair and slid the door open.

“Thanks.” He walked past her to the table and set down
the plates he was carrying.

Gina slid the door shut and took a seat back where she was before.  She picked up the glass pitcher t
hat sat on the table full of orange juice and filled both the glasses, placing one in front of each of them.

“You always said I put too much cream cheese on your bagel so I didn’t put any on for you.” He placed a bagel on her plate and pointed to her glass, “and no pulp, I know you hate it.”

Gina quietly peered back to him.

“What’s the look for
?” He scooped fruit onto her plate and then his. His tone was sly and sexy making her squirm a bit in her seat.                                                        

“It’s funny. How you remember the little things,”

“I remember the big ones too,” he winked. “What’s with the look?” He asked again as he devoured the remainder of the first half of his bagel he had started on.

“I just told you.”

“No. The clothes, the make-up.  I remember the Gina who never wore an ounce of make-up and was always in her grey sweatpants. You’re wearing pearls! I thought you hated jewelry?” He teased. He continued to chew the food in his mouth. “But honestly, you look amazing.”

“Well, thank you,” she replied with a hint of a southern twang.  “You don’t look too bad yourself.”  She smiled back at him losing the pit of her stom
ach as her eyes locked on his.

With n
either willing to break the stare down that was full of countless expressions for the other to decode, they both remained silent.

“So tell me you're happy.” Grant broke the silence as he leaned back in his chair, throwing his arms up behind his head.

“Ok, define happy.”

             
“You laugh and smile more than you cry.”

             
“Well, yes. I am happy. I live a good life, with good things and I have a good friend for a fiancé.” She hesitated for a moment.

             
“Good, so you’re happy. He takes good care of you?”
“Yes, he does. Adam’s a great guy.” She took a sip of

her orange juice.

              “Good,” he replied, his voice trailing off “I can sleep at night now.”

             
“What?”

             
“I never stopped worrying about you Gina. It killed me to know you were with someone I couldn’t trust to take care of you.” He was quick with his words, sounding more like a concerned big brother than ex-boyfriend.

             
“And how do you know you wouldn’t trust Adam? He is a good person.”

             
“Because I can’t trust anyone but myself to take care of you babe.” His words rolled out with kindness and concern.

             
It warmed Gina’s heart and reminded her once again why she always felt so safe around him. “I see.  Well, then you have a bit of a predicament now don’t you?” She winked at him, laughing lightly to herself.

             
“Yep. That became the story of my life six Yeahrs ago when you split.” He was calm as he sneered at her squinting his eyes and drawing in a heavy dose of air through his nose.

             
“I didn’t split Grant, I.” She stopped, not knowing how to finish her words.

             
“It’s okay.” 

             
She took a look around her.  A robin landed on the railing of the deck, sitting for a second before flying off again into the sky.  She longed for that freedom, although from what, she wasn’t quite sure. “So, how did you meet your fiancée?” Gina asked with an intentional effort to change the subject.

             
“My neighbor Justin went to high school with her.  I saw a picture of her in one of his photo albums.  She kind of looked like you,” he laughed. “I called her up, introduced myself and we started talking. Two weeks later she came to visit.  Six months later she moved in with me.  Two Yeahrs later we were engaged.”

             
“That’s sweet,” she replied. She picked up the knife cutting into the cream cheese and slowly spread it across her bagel. She tried to come up with something to say, but realized she wasn’t able to come up with anything meaningful.