Break Me (Taken Series Book 2) (9 page)

              “Me? What about you?” Shit. He caught that.

              “I will be staying inside keeping lookout for you and Sierra and then helping take down the enemy.”

              “And what of Jeremy?” I give Damon a look that tells him exactly what will happen to Jeremy. “I see. I can’t blame you. Make him suffer.”

              “Oh, I will.”

              “So where is the little old lady?”

              “Shopping. She heard I was having company and wanted to make something special for dinner. She assumes I have no friends.” I chuckle. I guess in a way she is right. Right now, I don’t have any one besides Damon. And once I resurrect myself I still may only have Damon, well unless I don’t make it out alive. But I’m going to be optimistic about this.

              “Great. Guess I should make myself comfortable.” Leave it to Damon to act as if this house is his own. I never understood how he could do that. Me. I could never just walk into someone’s house and make myself at home. I guess I always had it in my head that I was never truly at home. That is, until I met Sierra and Damon’s family. They made me feel welcomed and insisted I make myself at home. I guess its fitting seeing as they eventually made me apart of their family.

***

              The next few days are spent making lists, writing letters, and tying up all loose ends just in case anything happens to me. I’m sure it seems as if I am preparing not to come out of this but in reality I am just preparing for all outcomes. After realizing that I nearly didn’t make it the last time, I know I am not invincible. I need to say my goodbyes the right way instead of leaving everyone with nothing.

              I make sure to leave everything in a box for Lois in case I don’t return so she can send it out to those I love which are very few. Four to be exact. Damon, Sierra, and our parents need to know everything. How much I love them, how sorry I am, and just how great they were to me. I didn’t get to tell them the last time I almost lost my life and even though I’ve told them before this could be the last time I tell them.

              I text Damon the list of supplies we need so he can gather everything before we head out to do one more recon mission. This time it’s to see how many guards are roaming the perimeter and the house on a normal day.

            
 
Delete this after you read it.

            
 
Supply list-

*2 Bulletproof vests

*Guns 3 : one for your side, one to hide in your boot, and one to hide close to your chest.

*gun holsters (optional but you do need one for the gun close to your chest)

*Black clothes and boots

*knife: at least one in case you need it

Have all of this ready on the day we go in.

              With everything on my end finished, it is time to watch the videos from Jeremy’s room and Sierra’s. Maybe he told her of his plan when it comes to his uncle or maybe he spoke on his phone telling someone his plan. It’s possible but highly unlikely.

              Turning on my computer, I log into the server and set it to play from the beginning. It starts with me stepping away from where I placed the camera in Jeremy’s room, leaving when we left to check out the rooms down the hall. I fast forward seeing us leave through the balcony and Jeremy come in not long after and searching his room. When he looks out of the balcony door, I know he saw us. I am not sure if he knows who we are but this is a complication we didn’t need. I make a note of it and continue fast forwarding. Nothing interesting happens through most of the video that could help us figure out his plans for his uncle.

              There was a part in the video however, that killed me to watch. It was wrong and I shouldn’t have watched it but I couldn’t help it. I pressed play and watched the whole thing play out as if it was in slow motion. Every touch that was given, every word that was uttered, and every moan that escaped her lips was like a dagger to my heart. I never thought that I could break. I always believed I was too far broken yet, as I sit here trying to quell the ache in my chest, I realize this is what it feels like to be truly broken. My heart shattered into tiny little pieces that I am sure will never be fixed.

              As Sierra enjoyed every touch, taste, and thrust from Jeremy, I had a thought that maybe we shouldn’t rescue her. Maybe I should say this was an impossible mission and leave her where she obviously is happy. How could this be? How could she find any pleasure and happiness with a monster like Jeremy? It made no sense but as she climbed out of bed and smiled satisfied into Jeremy’s eyes I knew that I had lost her. She no longer loved and wanted me.

              I can’t let Damon know of my findings. As much as it pains me to continue this mission and rescue Sierra when she seems so happy, I must do this for my family. They deserve to have her back even if I am no longer in her life after this. I will move on and live a life of emptiness but at least I will know I kept my promise to save her even if she didn’t want to be saved. I will never love another for the rest of my days and that is fine by me. I never expected to before any of this. It has always been Sierra and even with this new revelation, it will continue to always be Sierra who holds my shattered heart. I just will not be around to watch her life unfold as I had planned after that first night I made love to her.

              Jeremy will pay for this. I have nothing left to lose. I’ve lost my life, the few friends I had, and my baby girl. There is nothing holding me back now. I don’t care where I go from here but he’s dead. I am even more determined now to kill him with my bare hands. How dare he take my baby girl from me, hurt her, manipulate her, and make her fall for him. I have to do this for me and for her. If I hadn’t been so stupid, I wouldn’t have lost her the first time. If I had dug a little deeper, I would have been able to prevent the second time I lost her. Because of my mistakes, I have lost her in every way possible. She wouldn’t have fallen for him if it weren't for me.

              “Forrest.” Lois speaks softly from my doorway as I sit at my desk falling apart.

              “Did you need help with something?” I ask trying not to show her the silent tears as they rest on my eyelashes wanting to fall. But Lois knows when something is wrong. She can read people better than anyone I know.

              “Why don’t you come down stairs and tell me what’s wrong. And don’t tell me nothing because I know.” Her look tells me there is no getting out of this. She believes talking will help but I know it won’t. I still indulge her though, because she is a scary lady no matter how small and fragile she looks.

“Alright. I’ll be down in a sec.” She nods her head and leaves to the kitchen. Turning back to my computer screen, I switch cameras to Sierra’s room so I can get one last look at my baby girl. I go back to the beginning and fast forward to the part where she finally sees her diary open and my note to her. I knew it was risky to leave it but I couldn’t help it. I still had hope for us then. As she reads my note, the gasp that escapes her lips and the tears that rain down her face give me some hope that maybe she still loves me. As she holds her diary to her chest, my chest tightens with love and regret. Even though what she has done has broken me, I still love her with all my being. Watching her keep my words close to her heart give me hope that maybe she can be saved not just physically but emotionally too. I just am not sure our relationship can be saved after this is all over.

I take one last look at Sierra’s beautiful face on the screen before shutting off my computer and heading to the kitchen to pour my soul out to Lois.

“Oh dear. I can see this is going to be a therapy session.” Lois is already sitting in her chair at the end of the table with two cups of hot tea waiting for me to explain what has me so broken.

“If this is a therapy session shouldn’t we be in the living room with me lying on the couch and you sitting in the chair taking notes?” I joke and crack a smile.

“Hush with that nonsense. I am a much better therapist than all those idiots. Now tell me what’s happened to put that broken look upon your face.” She smiles at me with reassurance.

I sigh before explaining what I saw in the video. I edited it of course and just explained to her the look on Sierra’s face, the pleasure she seemed to take in Jeremy’s touch and the affection she showed him at the party. It hurt to explain what I had witnessed but getting it all out seemed to help me calm down a bit. I’m still pissed and hurt but now I’m not holding it all in. Lois has a way of calming a person. The way she listens attentively and without judgment makes it easy to talk to her and tell her all your problems.

“Oh darlin’. I can tell you that she still loves you. I don’t need to be a witness to know that. You have no idea what she has been through, what she has seen, or what she’s had to endure since being in that mans clutches. If she has fallen for him, it’s not going to change that she loves you. She believed you were dead. She had nobody but him. She’s probably come to the realization that she will never escape him and has decided to just give in and make the most of her predicament.”

“But she read my note. She knows I am alive so why would she do this?”

“Because honey. She wanted to survive and this is what she had to do.”

I have no way to relate to her circumstances and Lois has a way of making me see the big picture.

“Fuck.” I pound my fist onto the table.

“Language.”

“Sorry.” I mumble.

“I know you're frustrated and you don’t understand but wait until you’ve brought her home. You need to give her time to adjust and realize she’s safe. After that she can get some help, talk through everything she’s been through and then she can figure out her feelings. It’s going to take time but I believe that she will come to realize these were not her true feelings, that they developed because of what she was going through. Don’t give up on her yet.”

“You’re right. I guess I don’t really know what she has been through but I could imagine.”

“Go on dear. Go grab some fresh air. Take a run, hit the bags or whatever it is you kids are calling it now, and take out all your frustration. You need to be alert when you go in.”

“Thanks Lois.” I stand up and lean over kissing her on her forehead. This sweet, little old lady has become someone very important to me. I am grateful to her for all her help. Not just for letting me stay in her home, but also for cooking for me, listening to me, giving me advice, and knowing when I need my space. She’s family and when this is all over, I plan to visit her often.

If she’s right, then Sierra will need therapy after this and hopefully that will help her sort through her feelings. I have no idea if I will still be around but I will be here if she needs me. That is, if I make it out alive. Taking Jeremy out will not be easy even with the distraction of his uncle and the FBI storming his place. He still has guards that I need to get through to get to him. I know I can make it through and kill him but to make it past his guards for escape will be near impossible unless the FBI can immobilize them in time.

I decide to do as Lois says and change into my running shorts, work out tank, and go for a run before hitting the gym in the garage. I need to take some of this stress and anger out on something and this helps me clear my head. As my feet hit the pavement, the stronger I feel and the more I realize that I would do anything for Sierra. Yes, it hurts that she developed feelings for this monster and yes it hurts that she enjoyed his body as he pleasured her but I can’t fault her for any of it. She wouldn’t be in this predicament if it weren't for me.

              After running about two miles, I decide to ‘hit the bag’ as Lois had said. I pound my fist against the bag imagining it as Jeremy’s face. I grunt with each punch, uppercut, elbow, and kick. I can feel the sweat bead along my neck, back, and forehead. My muscles strain and I can feel the burn the longer I go but I can’t quit now. I feel euphoric. Letting out my frustrations on the bag helps me to realize I am stronger now, stronger than I have ever been.

              I’m ready.

I’ll fight.

I’ll kill.

I’ll win.

Chapter 7

Sierra

              I can’t explain it but I have a feeling everything is going to change. Something is going down and it is going to be soon. Jeremy informed me that he set up a meeting with his uncle. I am scared that his uncle has plans to kill Jeremy. If he kills him than what will happen to me? This is not an ideal situation as it is but I would take Jeremy over his uncle any day. At least I know what I am getting with Jeremy. I don’t know his uncle well, only just stories I’ve heard but he doesn’t seem to have any feelings. He sounds detached.

              I voiced my concerns to Jeremy. I’m afraid his uncle is just trying to set him up. He assured me that he his taking every precaution when it comes to this meeting and his uncle but I think maybe he is being too cocky. He is going to try something, I can feel it, and I’m afraid for Jeremy and myself.

              On top of that, I still haven’t found a way to contact Forrest. He needs to know not to try to rescue me. If he does, he is sure to lose his life. There is no way Jeremy will let him have me. But without any idea of where Forrest is, or anyway to get a letter to him without alerting Jeremy, I fear for him. How do you find someone who is invisible? And how do I get out a warning when I have nobody I can trust?

              If I know Forrest, he will sneak in undetected, have me escape and stay to deal with Jeremy personally, or he will come in guns blazing and kill everyone in site inevitably killing himself as well, while someone else helps me escape. I badly want to escape but not at the expense of Forrest’s life. I just hope that if and when the time comes I can save him by convincing him to leave without me. I thought I lost everything when I believe he was dead. I couldn’t go through that again. I would gladly stay as Jeremy’s captive if it meant Forrest stays alive.

              The other day when Jeremy worshipped my body after I professed my feelings I instantly felt regret. I may love him and he may bring me great pleasure but I felt like somehow I had betrayed Forrest. No. Scratch that. I did betray him in every way. I don’t see how he could ever forgive me for my indiscretion. It will make it that much easier if he shows up to rescue me if I tell him what I have done. He will see me in a new light and want nothing to do with me. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt I will inevitably inflict. It will kill me to cause him any pain but it would be worse if I caused his death. I know he will come for me so this needs to be done if I have any hope of saving him from certain death. He will not want to rescue me after he hears what I tell him and that is what I am counting on.

Three years ago

              “Seriously? Another one? Why does he have to always bring the skankiest girls home with him? Why couldn’t he find a girl that’s sweet and pretty?”

              “What? Someone like you?” Lindsey laughs. My cheeks redden in embarrassment as I shake my head in denial.

              “No. But he deserves better. Come on. You know I’m right.”

              “I agree he is gorgeous but he’s a bad boy and a bad boy needs a bad girl.” She looks at me while waggling her eyebrows.

Maybe she’s right. But even a bad boy can be a good man. I know this because I believe Forrest is a good man. He has problems but don’t we all?

“Whatever. I just think he can pick someone not so tasteless.” I squint my eyes in wonder at Forrest's poor choice in women.

“Oh my god! You want him. I knew it.” Lindsey exclaims.

“Shut up. Don’t you say a word.” I hiss.

“Why don’t you tell him how you feel? Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

“No. How does he look at me?” Probably like I am the annoying little sister. Oh, wait. I pretty much am the annoying little sister. Then again, he never really makes me feel like I am. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

“He looks at you like he wants to devour you. He is in love with you just as you are him. I can see it in your eyes. I always thought it was love of an older brother but I can see now that you are in love with him as a man. Oh my god this is so great.” Lindsey squeals in excitement while grabbing my arm and shaking me.

“Don’t you dare say a word. He sees me as the little sister and I do not want him to know and end up pushing me away.” That would be even worse than watching him bring home more girls.

“Look, she’s coming this way.” Lindsey giggles.

“Shh. Maybe she will just walk by us like we’re not even here.”

“Hi. I thought I’d introduce myself. Now that Forrest and I are together, and he seems so fond of you, I thought we should be friends. I’m Katie.” I laugh on the inside at her audacity to come up and introduce herself to me as Forrest’s girlfriend. Forrest doesn’t have girlfriends. Not really. He has girls he keeps around for a little while, doesn’t contradict them when they call themselves his girlfriend, but in all actuality, they are here due to boredom on his part. His last ‘flavor of the week’ as I call them lasted for about two weeks. I asked him just before he got rid of her why he dated such easy girls and all he said was they killed the time. I don’t quite understand it myself but I took that to mean he was bored and they gave him some sort of entertainment.

“I’m Sierra and it’s nice to meet you.” I stick my hand out to shake hers out of politeness but inside I want to laugh in her face and tell her not to get too comfortable. She smiles at me as Lindsey tries to hold her laugh in by shoving her face into my shoulder. I smile wider but still manage to keep my laugh from bubbling up.

“We are going to be great friends. Well I better get back to him before he wonders where I ran off too.” I nod and once she is far enough away Lindsey and I bust out laughing. She is not the first to introduce herself but it’s still funny how they want to show him they accept me in his life. They all believe they will change his way of thinking and be 'the one' but they are wrong. Nobody knows him well enough for him to keep around. The only ones who are close are Damon and I.

“I’m telling you if you just let him know how you feel he will forget about all these girls and be completely devoted to you. I can guarantee it. He would do anything for you. I could see it now. You would be the cutest couple and you’d be together forever. I know these things. Trust me.”

              “We’ll see. Even if he felt the same for me he would never betray Damon that way.” I could dream all I wanted about Forrest being in love with me but when it really comes down to it, no matter his feelings for me I highly doubt he would ever take it further than friendship.

***

Ever since that day three years ago, I always knew Lindsey was right. Forrest has always loved me and he would always protect me. Even to his death. But would this change everything? Would this news of my feelings for Jeremy, even if they pale in comparison to my love for Forrest, and the intimate way Jeremy pleasures me break us? It doesn’t matter. I would rather that be our biggest problem than having him murdered.

Heading to Jeremy’s room, the guards keep a close watch as if they sense my tumultuous emotions and expect me to bolt or murder someone. I guess they have reason to worry on both accounts. I have tried to do both but this time I just want to talk to Jeremy. I need to see what he knows.

I tap his bedroom door twice before stepping in. He always tells me to come right in but I still have manners ingrained in me so I feel the need to let him know I was coming in. He is sitting on his bed in grey slacks and a dark blue button up shirt that’s been left unbuttoned. This look usually means he is on his way to a meeting. I don’t ask because I have learned it is not my place to question him.

“What is it?” His tone sounds irritated and I can’t tell if it is because of me or because of something else.

“I wanted to ask you a few questions. I can see you’re busy though so I’ll just come back.”

I turn to leave as Jeremy sighs before stopping me. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Umm. Well. I wanted to see if you could take me to Forrest’s grave.” I cringe inwardly knowing this will anger him but I need to find a way to leave him a message. This was the only thing I can think of. If I can convince Jeremy to take me to his grave, I can leave him a note. He may or may not see it but it is better than nothing. This is my last hope in keeping Forrest far away from here.

“And why would I want to do that?” He stands and the muscles of his stomach clench while his hands fist at his sides trying to stay in control of his anger. I may even receive a punishment but it would be worth it.

“You have nothing to worry about. I just wanted to say goodbye. I never got the chance to do so before. He has been my best friend since childhood and regardless of my feelings before, he was family.” I try not to tear up. When I saw him lying in a pool of his own blood I knew I had lost him. It was the worst moment of my entire life knowing he died trying to protect me. Now I just want to protect him.

“No. I still don’t trust you enough to take you out of this house. What brought this on?”

“Things have changed and I wanted to let go of my past and embrace my future.” It is partially true but he needs to believe that I am ready to move forward with him.

“I will take you when the time is right but that time is not now or any time soon. I have business to attend to so for now just find something else to do. Go watch one of your girly movies and I will be back later tonight.” My only chance at warning Forrest not to come for me has just been squashed. I just have to hope I can be convincing enough when he comes to rescue me.

              I don’t say anything more knowing there is nothing else to be said and head back to my room. Opening up my diary and reading Forrest’s words for the hundredth time it seems, I want to cry with happiness. I have forgotten what it truly meant to be happy. I had pushed Forrest and our love to the back of my mind for so long trying to forget the pain from his death. Now that I know he is alive and well, my heart swells for him. I had convinced myself I was happy here. Knowing my circumstances, it wasn’t hard to find happiness in the little things.

              All those times I had freedom to roam the halls without someone one-step behind me, watching my every move. Or the times when Jeremy brought me my favorite movie, takeout, candy, or even a book from my favorite author. I found joy in those simple things. I had mistaken that joy for happiness. I guess being captive, you have to make the most of it and the little things are what keep me living through each day.