Break Me Slowly (17 page)

We were t
wo broken people who couldn’t communicate about the darkness that was swallowing us whole.

Megan and I sat on the couch in sweat pants, and a half-eaten pizza lay on the coffee table. I zoned out to really bad TV trying to gain a grip on today’s events, but it had totally fried my brain. Every internal organ hurt, as though I was physically aching for Adam.

He was
hurting. And there was nothing I could do. There was nothing he’d allow me to do. I felt useless. Angry. I wanted to take whatever pained him away and replace it with something better. Something that made him happy, that made him smile.

He deserved to smile.

He was a
strong, domineering man to his very core. I wanted to help him. The last few hours had consisted of me going from grief, to rage, to utter depression. I wanted to kill anyone who would ever hurt him. While I didn’t know the whole story, I knew Adam’s stepfather had abused him. The need to punish that mongrel was overwhelming.

This
must have been how Adam had felt when he found out it was my mother who had caused all the scarring on my face.

The twisted part of me felt hap
py that he cared so much. Somehow, he felt the same as I did about him. Granted, his tactics were a bit extreme, what with getting my medical records. Could two people with this much baggage work out in the end?

I hoped so, because the alternative made me sick.

Megan had pressed me all afternoon about what had happened. I was obviously in a bad mood, but I couldn’t tell her much. I would never break Adam’s trust that way. I checked my phone for the millionth time and still there was no call or text from him.

“
Seriously, what happened with you two today? Did he upset you? Hurt you?”

“
Adam wouldn’t hurt me like that, Meg.” She wasn’t Adam’s biggest fan, but I couldn’t have her thinking the worst. “He just…he found out about my mom.”

“
Oh. How did that go?”

“
Not great. I’m pretty sure he hates her and is going to demolish her home.”

“
He can do that?”

“
Guess so.”

“
Well…can you blame him?” Megan’s reply startled me a bit. “Don’t look at me like that, Kate. I hate your mother for what she did to you. It makes no sense to me how you can even look at her, let alone support her. She’s a crazy bitch.”

M
y eyes burned with liquid fire at the comment. I knew my mom was unbalanced—crazy. But hearing it out loud stung. At the end of the day,
that
crazy bitch was still my mother. She was a part of me.

“
She didn’t get diagnosed until I was much older,” I said, as if trying to defend her. As though if she had known she was unstable and gotten help sooner, she wouldn’t have tried to claw me to death. Or throw me across the room. Or bash my head into the floor.

“
Nope.” Megan came to sit next to me. “I know where you’re going with this, and you’re wrong.”

“
You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“
Yeah, I do. You were going to say that at some point you could just wham, come into this disease. Turn bipolar just like her.”

Okay, so that may have been close to what I was thinking.

“Kate, you’re not her. You’re not sick the way she is. Your mom has had this illness her whole life. You are a level-headed, smart woman. You’d never hurt anyone. You have to stop running from yourself and start trusting that.”

That was the problem. I
didn’t feel very level-headed. I felt out of control and lost.

A knock sounded
at the door. Megan got up to answer it. “Probably Brian.”

When she opened the door I heard
the familiar rumble of a deep voice. I launched to my feet just as Megan held the door open and Adam walked through it.

“
Hi.” He stood, his tie loosened and his hair slightly disarrayed from the wind. His thick black coat covered his broad shoulders.

“
Hi,” I choked out.

Megan looked between the two of us and said,
“I’m going to my room.”

I appreciated her discretion, because right now, I just wanted to fix what
had happened between Adam and me.

He closed the door behind him and
in two long-legged steps, ate up the distance between us. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. My toes came off the floor. His cold wool coat tickled my nose as he hugged me tight.

“
Adam?”

He let me down slowly and
cupped my face, looking at me with those blue eyes burning.

“
You trust me with so much.” His thumbs brushed my cheekbones. “It’s a gift, I know this, and you make me a better man for it.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “From the moment I saw you on the street, I wanted to possess you. Keep you. Take care of you. Not because I question your own ability, but because I
want
to.”

A sharp tingle raced along my spine. I hadn
’t expected this from him.

“
I’m sorry I was harsh earlier. When I saw the pictures and read your file, I lost it.” He trailed his lips along my hairline and to my jaw.

“
I understand,” I whispered. “Because I feel the same way.”

He leaned back and looked me in the eye
.

“
I hate your stepfather for hurting you.”

That mask of rage
I was becoming very familiar with took over his expression. “I never said he hurt me, Katelyn.”

“
You didn’t have to. I saw it on your face. Felt all the pain and anger—”

“
Stop.”

I snapped my mouth shut.

“Katelyn, I want you to understand something. My feelings for you are strong, stronger than anything I’ve felt for another person. But the issue of my stepfather and my past is off limits.”

“
So, nothing? We can’t talk about any of it?” I placed my hands on his chest. “Adam, I just want to be there for you. Comfort you.”

He ran his hand through my hair.
“You do. Just you, with me, that’s all I need.”

“
But the rest you won’t talk about?”

“
No. And I don’t want to be asked about it again.” His eyes bored into mine and I realized this line was clearly drawn. Adam had told me once that he respected the word
no
. Say it, and things would end. This was his deal. Could I accept that he would keep part of himself closed off?

I had to.

For now…

I di
dn’t want to push him, I wanted to help him. Take some of the burden from him. Maybe in time he could trust me. I wanted the chance to earn it. More of it. In the meantime, I could only be honest with him and take small steps.

“
Adam, the property you bought…you can do what you want with it, but if you tear it down, I will have to find my mother another place to live.”

“
She can find another place herself.”

I shook my head.
“No, she can’t. She’ll call me for help and I’ll go.”

“
You give her loyalty where she deserves none.”

“
You have my loyalty.”

“
Yes, but I’ve earned it.”

“
And have I earned yours?”

He looked at me for a long time. It was a loaded question. We both knew it.

“Yes.” He slid his hand down my yoga pants and cupped my sex. “You belong to me, Katelyn. Your body, your mind, your soul. I won’t stop until I have it all.”

I was breathless when his finger toyed with my clit.
“I want a fair exchange.”

He
chuckled and his lips skimmed mine. “Of course you do.”

I gripped his wrist, stilling his mo
vements and trying to regain my focus. “I mean it, Adam. I need you. All of you. It hurts when we’re apart. Sometimes I think you’ve gotten me under some kind of voodoo, but…I need all of you back.”

He bit my bot
tom lip. “It is you who have bewitched me.” He softly brushed his lips over mine. “I’ll give you everything I’m capable of giving.”

“
Stay with me tonight.”

He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to my bedroom. My fingers dug into his hair and when he
’d kicked the door shut behind us, he laid me on the bed. His hands, mouth, were everywhere. He made quick work of our clothing and joined me on the mattress. Lying flat on his back, he gripped my hips and I straddled his impressive erection.

“
I want to watch you move on me, lover.”

His voice was raspy, but his eyes were clear and
shone in the darkness. I sat there, his hot cock pressing against my clit. I timidly slid up, then back down, rubbing that steel rod against my most sensitive spot. Shivers raced from my nape to my toes.

“
You’re wet.” He stared up at me. “Use me to make yourself wetter. Don’t fuck me until you’re dripping.”

His
words made my sex contract. My body was already begging for him. I rocked against him, my tender flesh gliding against his. Pressure built in my core and the smoldering embers of pleasure began popping like fireworks in my bloodstream.

He palmed my hips, grinding me harder
against him. My hands flew to his chest. Those hard muscles flexed beneath my palms and I loved the feel of this powerful man beneath me. I was so close. I shut my eyes to let the orgasm overtake me, but he stilled me before it erupted.

“
You’re ready.”

I swallowed and reached between our bodies. I gripped his cock
—it was wet, wet from me. I scooted up and placed the tip at my entrance. Adam’s eyes stayed on my face. Clenching his jaw, he took his hands from my hips and placed them behind his head.

“
You’re in control this time,” he said. The strain in his neck showed how much effort it took for him to hold back. He was going against his nature to give me a taste of power. To show me what he was willing to submit to—for me.

I sank down on him, taking his cock all the way to
the hilt in one long motion. A low rumble came from his chest and I gasped at the exquisite feeling of fullness.

Adam was in me. Part of me. I never tired of the feeling.

I rose up, then pushed down again. My body was vibrating, so close and so ready. But something didn’t feel right. Since I was young, I’d always fought for control. But with Adam, I wanted him to take me over. My body, my mind, all of it. I belonged to him.

I realized right then that I truly trusted Adam with everything I was.

“Take me,” I whispered.

He frowned.
“Do you know what you’re asking?”

I nodded, my fingertips pressing into his rock
-hard chest. “I want you to take my body, take over all I am.”

His nostrils flared on a heavy inhal
ation. He sat up and cupped my face. “You are full of surprises, Katelyn.”

He tossed me off him, then grabbed my knees and spun me face
-down on the mattress. His weight settled over my back and his breath was hot in my ear. “I hope you can handle what you ask for.”

“
With you…always.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me up so that I was on my hands and knees. His cock instantly ripped through my pussy in one hard shove. I cried out at the intensity. He always hit deep inside of me, but in this position, it was even more so. He pulled almost all the way out and thrust forward again. His hips slapped against my ass as he fucked me over and over. Harder and harder.

I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming. The pleasure was so raw and wild, my whole body unraveled. I felt nothing but Adam.

He wrapped my long hair around
one fist while the other stayed on my hip. He pulled me back into every push of his hips. It was too much. The tightly wound ball of pleasure shattered and my whole body bucked violently as I came.

Adam was right behind me. He buried himself to the root and I felt his hard cock twitch as he released inside me.

My arms and legs were weak. I slumped down, my face hitting the mattress. Adam lay with me. Remaining within my body, he turned to his side and brought my back to rest against his chest. With my heartbeat pounding in my ears, I fell asleep, surrounded by Adam’s strength.

~

I awoke with Adam between my thighs. It was still dark. I stretched and loved the feeling of his hard cock disappearing inside me over and over. He made me come effortlessly, and only after I had started floating down from the intensity did he find his own end.