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Authors: Johanna Lindsey

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BOOK: Brave the Wild Wind
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“W
HAT would you do, Goldy? Would you marry a woman just ’cause you felt a lil guilty?” Chase asked.

The horse snorted. “Sorry, old fella. Forgot you don’t like to be called Goldy. But it was a good question, huh?”

Chase was propped against the wall in Goldenrod’s stall, sitting trustingly at the horse’s feet, a half-empty bottle of whiskey beside him. He’d found the unopened bottle in the tack room after searching high and low in the kitchen. It was undoubtedly Jeb’s stash. He would have to remember to replace it.

Opening the bottle again, Chase drained another half inch and eyed his horse seriously. “I mean, shoot, that lil’ minx never made me feel bad, did she? It’s that damn Rachel who’s got me feeling like a louse. And you know what she’s gonna say soon as she gets ’round to it?”

Chase belched, then laughed. “Not that. No, Rachel’s gonna say, ‘You ruined her, now you marry her.’ You think she might hold a gun at my back? No, not Rachel. But she’s got another weapon, that damn face of hers, that damn look
that says I stabbed her in the back.” He took a deep breath. “Why the hell don’t I just ride out of here?”

Chase tried to stand but didn’t succeed until he’d tried several times. He eyed his saddle on the railing as if it were an ornery critter giving him trouble. And it did. He couldn’t get it off the railing. Finally he leaned against it and spoke to his horse again.

“Looks like I might need to sober up first. But I’ll be back, Goldenrod. I’ll saddle you up, and then we’ll hit the trail. I can’t marry that hellion. It’d be like tying myself to a cyclone.”

Chase made his way out of the stable and around to the stream behind the house. He fell in and for a moment thought he might be drowning. The water was only a foot deep, however. After a considerable bit of splashing, he pulled himself to the edge of the stream and lay there, letting the icy water chill him.

Unbidden, an image of Jessie came to mind. Not the Jessie of tonight but of last night. She had been a tempest then, too, but a passionately loving tempest.

Would it really be so bad being tied to her? he wondered. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. And wasn’t he tired of drifting? Rachel had said it was time he settled down, and, well, maybe it was. With some effort, couldn’t he tame the hoyden?

 

Jessie was too furious to cry but too upset not to. That left her with a choked feeling that was keeping her awake, tossing and turning. Being
awake, she heard the soft knock clearly. She wasn’t pleased.

She didn’t bother to pull on a pair of pants but answered the door in the oversized long-sleeved shirt she usually slept in. She didn’t care what Rachel thought of that. In fact, she considered taking the shirt off and letting Rachel think she slept nude.

She was glad she hadn’t carried through with that rebellious thought, however, when the door opened to reveal Chase in the hall. Jessie slammed the door shut, but it hit his shoulder and bounced open again. She was forced to step back as he shoved his way in rudely, closing the door behind him.

“Get out,” she said.

“In a minute.”

“Now!”

“Keep your voice down, damn it. You’ll have Rachel in here, dragging us to the preacher tonight. She’s ready to. I need to sober up before that happens.”


That won’t
happen, not for
any
reason!” she assured him. “You stink! You’re drunk! Is that what gave you the courage to bust into my room in the middle of the night?”

“I’m not that drunk, not anymore, anyway. Not enough that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

She lit the lamp by her bed, then swung around to face him. The sight of him wearing only pants, his hair sopping wet, stopped her fury for a moment. “What’d you do, fall in the creek?”

“As a matter of fact…” His grin filled in the rest of the explanation, but Jessie wasn’t amused. “I changed clothes, though,” he offered sagely. “Didn’t want to be dripping water all over your floor.”

“Well, you forgot to dry your hair. You think it’s appropriate, you coming here half-dressed?”

His grin widened. “I wouldn’t talk about being half-dressed, not the way you answered your door.”

Jessie glanced down at the cotton shirt that came only to the top of her knees. “I didn’t invite you here, so just get the hell out. You’ve caused enough trouble for one day.”


I
have?” His humor fled. “And what have you done?”

“Paid you back and nothing else,” Jessie said coldly. “No more than you both deserved.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad to hear I wasn’t the only victim of your vicious attack,” Chase replied sarcastically. “Especially since I’m the one who’ll end up paying for it.”

Jessie flared. “You think you’re the only one hurt? Because of what you told her, she may try to deny me control of the ranch if I go north again. Well, if I had to lose a friend, it was only fair that you both should lose one, too—each other.”

“And you think that’s the only consequence?”

“What’s the matter, Summers?” Jessie purred. “Wasn’t she understanding? Did she hurt your feelings?”

“You really don’t care that you hurt her, do you?” he asked tightly.

“I don’t recall making love by myself,” Jessie retorted. “I don’t recall making the first move either time. So who’s responsible?”

“I warned you what would happen if she found out, Jessie.”

Jessie began to laugh, surprising him. “So that’s why you’re here. Well, I hate to relieve your mind, Summers, I really do, but that isn’t one of your worries. All you’ve done is lost her respect. Why you want the respect of a whore is beyond me, but—”

“She’s not a whore, Jessie,” Chase said harshly.

“Don’t you tell me what she is or isn’t! I know better than you ever could!”

“I didn’t come here to fight with you again. I came to ask you to marry me.” It took her aback, but she recovered.

“Well, you asked. Now you can go tell her you were a good boy and did as she told you.”

“She didn’t send me here, Jessie. She hasn’t said anything yet. She left the kitchen in tears, and I haven’t seen her since.”

“Then what are you doing, being noble?” she sneered. “Or are you just trying to score a few points by doing right by me before you’re told to?”

“What’s wrong with our getting married?” he asked reasonably, knowing every reason she would think of.

“What do you take me for?” she demanded.
“You think I can’t remember that the thought of marriage scares you?”

“That was before,” he insisted.

“Like hell. Nothing’s changed. You want to marry me as much as I do you, and that’s not at all. So get out of here and stop bothering me with this drunken nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense, and I told you I’m not drunk. Rachel is going to insist we marry, anyway, so why not deny her the chance to make a big issue of it?”

“Why? And spoil her righteous fun? How often does a whore get to be righteous?”

“You’re not being serious, Jessie,” he said wearily.

“Because there’s nothing serious about this!” she snapped. “I may have to give in on some things, but marrying you? I’d take off from here and make myself scarce for as long as necessary before I’d let her force me to marry someone I can’t stand.”

“You didn’t feel that way last night.”

“I was a fool last night.”

That made him angry. “Maybe we both were fools. But the fact remains that there’s a special spark between us, Jessie.”

“Don’t kid yourself. You just happen to be the first man who touched me. You won’t be the last, believe me.”

He reached her in two strides and grabbed her, his eyes dark with anger and desire. “What happens with you and me doesn’t happen with just any two people,” he said huskily. “You can
deny it, but you know you want me, Jessie. Marry me. Say yes.”

He wouldn’t let go of her, so she punched him, hard enough to gain her release but only surprising him. She followed that with a stinging slap.

“Does that prove I don’t want you?” she cried, her chest heaving. A lump in her throat made it difficult to get the words out. “You might give a good tumble, but I sure as hell wouldn’t marry you for that. It takes a little respect to make a marriage, and I’ve got none for you!”

“Then maybe I ought to give you some,” Chase growled, a threatening glint in his eyes.

Jessie backed away, but not quickly enough. He caught her wrists and dragged her to the bed, but his intention was not what she thought it was.

“Damn, but I’ve wanted to do this since I first met you,” he told her. His voice held pure satisfaction.

He pulled her onto his lap. Jessie gasped at the first stinging blow to her backside. Another followed, and another. She wanted to scream but refused to give him the satisfaction. She fought instead, struggling and squirming to get off his lap, but he threw one leg over both of hers, clamping her legs between his, and pressed the palm of his free hand into her back to hold her immobile. Her struggling had caused her shirt to rise, and his hand was striking bare skin.

Jessie had to bite her lips to keep from crying. He wouldn’t stop.

“I’d like to say this hurts me more than it does you, but it doesn’t,” he said as he continued to hit her glowing backside. “Someone should have done this a long time ago, Jessie. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so quick to throw punches anytime you feel like it.”

Her eyes were overflowing with tears, but he couldn’t see that. He saw only the fiery red of her bottom. Forgetting why he had been so brutal, he leaned over and kissed the injured area.

Jessie didn’t feel it. She was burning too much to feel anything but pain. Chase didn’t know that, either, and he was annoyed with himself for feeling the need to comfort her at all. He lifted her off his lap and onto the bed. Then he stood up and stomped to the door. He opened it and was even out in the hall before he remembered the note in his back pocket and pulled it out. He went back inside just as Jessie was sitting up, her back to him, her glorious hair spilling around her. The sight stirred him, and every muscle in his body stiffened.

“I have something for you,” he said. He dropped the note on the bed, but she didn’t turn around. “It would have been a wedding gift, but since it cost me no more than the turn of a card, why don’t we call it payment for pleasures received. That way, we’re even.”

He had hoped for some kind of response to his cruel barb, but he got nothing, not even a glare.
She wouldn’t look at him. He left the room and closed the door behind him. He was
not
going to let it bother him. His parting shot hadn’t been any meaner than many things she had said to him. It would
not
bother him. He was free of her now.

J
ESSIE didn’t sit a horse too comfortably for a week, and every time she rode, she thought of Chase. He had left that following morning. She had stayed in her room until after he was gone, and he hadn’t come to say good-bye. He had argued with Rachel before he left, and Jessie couldn’t help but hear most of it.

“I asked her to marry me. She refused. Damn it, Rachel, what more could I do?”

“You could have left her alone!” Rachel had actually screamed at him. “I trusted you!”

“What do you want from me, Rachel? It happened. You think I didn’t regret it when I found she was a virgin? But it was too late to stop.”

“You didn’t want to stop!”

Their voices lowered after that, and Jessie didn’t hear any more until the final slam of the door when Chase left the house. She was curious about his attempt at being noble. They both knew that she was the one who hadn’t let them stop. Yet he let Rachel think he was wholly to blame. Stupid. What was he trying to prove?

Jessie thought a lot about that in the weeks that followed. She couldn’t help but think about it. Rachel reminded her of it constantly with
her woebegone, pitying expressions. It was absurd. The woman acted as if the most heinous of crimes had been committed. How could she be such a hypocrite, whore that she was? The loss of virginity had not mattered to Jessie, but Rachel acted as if she’d been raped.

Rachel didn’t speak Chase’s name again, either. It was as if Jessie were suddenly breakable, as if the slightest wrong word would shatter her. Utterly ridiculous.

Rachel’s behavior was irritating in another way, too. Her sympathy was not only unwelcome, it also made it impossible for Jessie to forget about Chase Summers, which she dearly wanted to do.

Both mother and daughter despised him now, but for different reasons. For his ill treatment of her, for his getting in the last lick but good before riding out of her life, Jessie would never forgive him. But she would never see him again, never have a chance to even the score. It infuriated her beyond measure.

It was a blessing when Jessie got sick in the middle of October, for the illness served to take her mind off everything but herself. The first few days she was ill, she figured it would run its course quickly. She was annoyed to be sick at all. But when it didn’t pass quickly, she began to worry. She managed to keep her illness from everyone, although that was difficult. She didn’t want anyone fussing over her, especially Rachel. She’d hardly been sick a day in her life, and she wasn’t used to it. After a week, she decided it was time to see a doctor, but she wasn’t feeling up to a long ride on Blackstar. She came
up with an excuse for using the buggy simply by breaking the heel on her riding boots.

Jessie hadn’t counted on Billy wanting to come along, but she didn’t refuse him. It was easy to shake him once they got to town, for he was only too willing to go and register them at the hotel for the night. As soon as he was out of sight, she headed for Doc Meddly’s office.

Whether he was a real doctor, a horse doctor, or just a man who knew a little about doctoring, she didn’t know. But Cheyenne was lucky to have any medical help at all. Many western towns didn’t. And he seemed to understand his business, asking the right questions, concentrating like he knew what he was doing. The trouble was, he wouldn’t stop frowning when she finished explaining. She was getting awfully nervous.

“Well, what is it?” she demanded. “Is it contagious? Am I dying?”

The man was clearly flustered. “Fact is, Miss Jessie, I got no idea what’s ailing you. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were pregnant. But you being an unattached youngun, I have to scratch that. But nothing else fits. You get gut-sick only in the mornings, and you’re fine the rest of the time.”

Jessie didn’t hear a thing he said…beyond the word
pregnant
. “But it’s too soon…I mean, it’s only been three…no, four weeks since—damn!”

After the stammered confession, Doc Meddly cleared his throat uncomfortably and set about rearranging the papers on his desk, avoiding Jessie’s eyes. “Yes, well, it don’t take long at all
to figure if you’ve conceived…ah, that is, if you’ve been with a man…ah, shoot, Miss Jessie. I ain’t use to discussing this. The women round here don’t come to me for such a delicate matter. They see to each other.”

“Then you really think I’m pregnant?”

“If you were married, Miss Jessie, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.”

“Well, I’m not married!” Jessie said sharply. “And I’d rather think I was dying!”

Outside the doctor’s office, Jessie stopped and leaned back against the door, desperate to get her thoughts together without letting rage interfere. But there was too much to think about. A baby!

Jessie got to the hotel without even being aware of having crossed town. Billy was waiting for her, and he followed her to her room, perplexed. He’d never seen her so preoccupied. “Is something wrong, Jessie?”

“What could be wrong?” She laughed in a high-pitched voice, on the too-soft bed in the bleak room. She groaned and put her hands to her temples, as if warding off pain.

Billy frowned. “I…I thought maybe you heard about Chase Summers, that you were upset because he’s still here.”

Jessie sat up very slowly. “Here? What do you mean?”

“He’s still in town. He didn’t leave like we thought. He’s staying here in the hotel, in fact.”

“You saw him?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know?” she snapped.

“Two men told me.” He shrugged. “They said
they saw you and me come into town. They said they knew Chase worked for you, and if you were looking for him, you could find him over at the saloon. I suppose they were just being obliging, Jessie.”

She jumped off the bed. “It’s been three weeks since he left the ranch. He’s got no business still being here.”

“Are you going to see him?”

“No!”

Billy took a few steps away from her. “Are you sure you’re all right, Jessie?”

“No…yes…oh, I’ve just got a splitting headache that’s going to have me climbing the walls soon if it doesn’t go away. I need some quiet. Why don’t you go on down and get yourself some supper, then go to bed?” Then she added, giving a thought to him at last, “Will you be all right alone?”

He drew himself up, insulted. “Sure. But you need to eat, too.”

“No, I don’t, not tonight. I think I’ll just go to bed now, to sleep this headache off. I’ll wake you in the morning when it’s time to leave.”

“What about your boots?”

“I’ll get them before we leave. And, Billy, if you happen to see Chase, try not to let him see you, okay? I’d rather he didn’t know we were here.”

“You sure don’t like him, do you, Jessie?”

“What’s to like about an arrogant, pigheaded—” She caught herself before she lost control. “No, I don’t like him.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Why?” Jessie asked incredulously.

“It’s just…you and him could have…oh, never mind. I’ll see you in the morning, Jessie.”

“Wait a minute—” But Billy had already closed the door.

BOOK: Brave the Wild Wind
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