Brave the Heat (4 page)

The weight of her mistakes and the choices from her past settled over her and threatened to crush her.

Jordan pulled the car into the driveway of the gray, saltbox Cape Cod cottage as the familiar and almost comforting urge to run pulled at her, called to her.

“We’re home!” Gracie exclaimed. “Home again, home again, jiggety jig.”

“I’m pooped.” Lily unbuckled her seat belt and let Gracie out of her booster. “Camp was fun but I’m glad we’re home.”

Jordan shut off the engine and squeezed her eyes shut.

No more running…they were home.

Gavin stirred the chili in the enormous steel pot on the stove and turned down the flame on the burner. He’d burned the bottom of it more than once, which of course led to endless razzing from his team. Having the fire chief burn food was ironic and more than a little sad—and happened more often than he cared to admit.

“Which of your culinary delights is it tonight?” Bill, one of his newest and best firefighters, leaned over Gavin’s shoulder and lifted the lid briefly before breathing deeply. “Ah! It’s the chief’s famous burnt chili.”

“Cut the crap,” Gavin said with a laugh. He sprinkled in more salt and pepper before stirring the chili again. “I only burned it once or twice.”

“Dude”—Bill scoffed and made a face—“once was enough.”

“Not all of us can be awesome cooks like Rick.”

“It’s true,” Rick said with a sigh. He grinned and laid his cards on the table in a fan shape. “Or as good at poker. A royal flush, boys. Read ’em and weep!”

Groans and a few swear words were tossed around as Rick swept up his winnings and laughed loudly. Gavin glanced over his shoulder at the guys who were playing poker at the worn, well-used butcher-block table. That old table served as the center of their world here on the second floor of the station. The common room and kitchen area were part of one large space that served as their hurry-up-and-wait room. How many days and nights had they all spent here together? Some of the guys were here more than at their own houses, and Gavin was one of them.

What did he have to go home to? An empty cottage. No wife. No kids. And that was done by design…or was it? Was that something he told himself to feel less lonely? Hell, until recently he hadn’t felt lonely at all. Not really. But now that Jordan was back in town, Gavin was starting to acknowledge that there was a hole in his life. Maybe it had always been there. A tiny gap, a space that could only be filled by her. Until a couple of weeks ago it was barely noticeable.

But not anymore.

With each passing day and every time Gavin walked past that damned flower shop or looked at the little gray Cape Cod on the beach, the hardly recognizable pinprick of emptiness grew larger. Lately it was feeling like the damn Grand Canyon.

“You know, Chief,” Bill said as he pulled out a chair and joined the other three guys, “for a guy who’s been in this house longer than any of us, I’m kinda surprised you don’t like cookin’.”

“Are you kidding?” Rick chimed in. He was Gavin’s best friend and the other veteran firefighter amid the youngsters and volunteers. “If he could get out of cooking, he would. But that would mean admitting defeat, and if there’s one thing Gav won’t do, it’s admit when he’s been beaten.”

Gavin went to the fridge and snagged the sour cream but didn’t miss the knowing look his friend gave him. Why did he get the distinct impression that Rick wasn’t talking about cooking?

“On that note, you get dish duty tonight, Rick.” Gavin slid the container onto the counter and tossed the dish towel to his friend. “Chili’s ready and it’s not burned. Next week I’m making meat loaf and potatoes.”

“Will wonders never cease,” Rick teased. He twirled the towel in the air. “You’re a regular Julia Child.”

“Ah, stick it in your hat.” Gavin shook his head and chuckled while he wiped down the counter. “Not all of us can be culinary wizards like you.”

“You want in on the next hand?” Bill shuffled the deck and nodded toward the empty chair. “We got room for one more.”

“No thanks.” Gavin glanced at the clock. It was almost closing time at the flower shop. “I have some paperwork to catch up on at my desk. You guys go ahead.”

“
Chicken!
” Rick shouted after him.

Gavin waved him off and made his way down the hall to his office. He did have paperwork. Plenty of it. He should put his butt in the chair and get to it, but he didn’t. Instead he slipped into his office and went to the window, the one that gave him a perfect view of the little flower shop across the street.

* * *

Gavin had spent the better part of the past two weeks trying like hell not to think about Jordan. Good luck to that stupid plan. What were the odds that she was going to start working across the damn street from the firehouse, so that he’d have to see her every damn day? He was starting to think that the universe was conspiring to make him crazy, torturing him for the fun of it.

“You want me to straighten out the gear, Chief?” David Heffernan asked, his squeaky voice interrupting Gavin’s private pity party.

The kid had liked helping out so much last weekend during his
punishment
that he’d asked if he could stay on and volunteer from time to time. He was too young to be a volunteer firefighter, but he wasn’t too young to start learning his way around the business.

“What?” Gavin snapped. He turned and went to his desk, trying not to look like he’d been caught staring out the window at the flower shop, hoping to get a glimpse of Jordan. Even though that’s exactly what he’d been doing. “Sorry, kid. I was thinking about something. What did you ask me?”

“The gear.” David jutted his thumb over his shoulder and shuffled his feet nervously. “It looks a little messy down there, and I figured maybe I could straighten it out. But I don’t wanna mess with it if—”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Gavin gave the kid a reassuring smile when the boy bit his lip. Who could blame him? Gavin had practically taken his damn head off for no reason. “Make sure everyone’s turnout gear is in the right spot and ready to go in case we get a call. You can bug out after that.”

“Thanks, Chief.”

“Hey, kid?” Gavin’s voice stopped the boy dead in his tracks. “You really like this, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” David nodded enthusiastically. “What you guys do is about the most badass thing I’ve seen in real life. I mean, you see stuff like this in movies and video games, but, man, that’s nothing compared to the real thing. It’s a total rush. Way cool.”

“What about your brother?” Gavin glanced out the window again before cursing himself for his foolishness. “I haven’t seen him here since your official community service was up. He doesn’t share your enthusiasm?”

“Nah.” David shook his head and shrugged, an air of disappointment flickering over him. “He’s more interested in taking out our boat. He’s actually kinda pissed at me. We were supposed to do one of the local regattas this summer, but I bailed on him.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather do this.” David shrugged in the classic noncommittal teenager way and stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “What you guys do is important. I dunno. He’ll get over it. Our cousin is gonna do it with him instead. Thanks, Chief.”

“You bet.” Gavin nodded.

“And I know I said it before, but I really am sorry about pulling that alarm.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have let Robert do it. He’s always getting me into trouble one way or another. Ever since we were little. Anyway, I’m sorry.”

“We all make mistakes, David.” Gavin’s heart went out to the kid. He knew all too well that some mistakes were worse than others and not as easily atoned for. “Let’s consider it done. And if you’re hungry, get on in the common room and grab yourself some chili.”

“Thanks.” Backing out of the office, the kid promptly bumped into and bounced off of Rick’s barrel-shaped chest. Scurrying around him, David mumbled, “Sorry, sir.”

“That kid makes me nervous,” Rick muttered under his breath as the boy disappeared down the hall. Turning his tanned face to Gavin, he grinned wickedly. “But not as nervous as I make him.”

“You’re mean.” Gavin laughed and shook his head. Forcing himself not to look back out the window, he went to his desk and shut down the computer. “He’s been a big help this week.”

“Yeah, he’s okay.” Rick sat in the wooden chair across from Gavin and hoisted his boot-clad feet on top of the desk. “But I’m surprised you noticed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gavin sat down and busied himself with organizing the reports that were strewn across his desk. Paperwork was his least favorite part about the administrative position of fire chief. “I’m the one who gave him the job.”

“You know damn well what it means.” Rick’s voice grew serious. “Ever since
she
got back to town, you’ve had your head up your ass.”

Gavin stilled and slowly turned his eyes to meet Rick’s. They’d been friends a long time and the guy knew him about as well as his own brothers, but Gavin was still his boss.

“Is that so?” Folding his hands on the desk, he kept his voice even. “Even if it were true, I don’t see how it’s any of your damn business.”

“Well, your love life might not be my business, but
you
having your head up your ass sure is. It’s dangerous and you know it.” Rick dug a piece of gum out of his pocket and unwrapped it before popping it into his mouth. He crumpled the wrapper and tossed it at the wastebasket by the window, then put both hands in the air when it landed noiselessly in the bin. “Two points.”

“Duly noted.” Gavin rose to his feet and struggled to keep his temper in check. He wasn’t pissed at Rick for being out of line; it was exactly the opposite. “Anything else?”

“Yeah.”

Rick dropped his feet from the desk and stood up. He might have been shorter by a few inches, but he was as broad and didn’t back down from anyone or anything. He was a hell of a firefighter and an even better friend.

“When are you gonna stop being a stubborn dick and go over there and talk to her? Listen, I may not have been around when you two dated back in the Stone Age, but according to Maddy, you and Jordan were like peas and carrots until she split for New York.” Rick frowned. “Why did she split anyway?”

“Hell if I know,” Gavin said in a huff. “It was a hundred years ago.”

“Yeah, well, it might’ve been, but based on the way you’ve been acting since she got back to town, I’d say you still have it bad.”

“It’s ancient history.” Gavin lowered his voice. “Like you said, the Stone Age.”

“Don’t give me that shit.” Rick poked Gavin in the chest. “The only woman you’ve dated since I’ve known you was that crazy Suzanne broad. At the rate you’re going, you’re a regular candidate for the seminary. Here’s the way I see it. There are only two reasons why a single guy isn’t out prowling around for a date on a Friday night. One—his equipment don’t work. And two—”

“My equipment is just fine,” Gavin interjected quickly.

“And two—he’s hung up on a broad he thinks he can’t have.”

“Aw, come on, man.” Gavin made a scoffing sound and waved one hand dismissively. “Damn it, Rick. She left. Fifteen years ago, the woman split without a word and
then
she married someone else. What could I possibly have to say to her? She’s married. End of story.”

“No wonder you didn’t become a cop.” Rick leaned across the desk. A slow smile cracked his weathered face, and he slapped Gavin on the cheek playfully. “She’s not, genius.”

“Not what?” Gavin’s head spun with a hundred questions as Rick strode over to the door of the office. A painfully cruel glimmer of hope tugged at Gavin’s heart. “Rick? What the hell, man? Not what?”

“If I tell you, you have to promise me that you’re gonna pull your head out of your ass long enough to go over there and talk to her.” Rick turned around slowly and leaned against the doorjamb. “Deal?”

“Fine,” Gavin said with pure exasperation. “It’s my mother’s birthday tomorrow, and I have to order flowers for her anyway. Now spill it.”

“Maddy told me and swore me to secrecy, but since you asked, I can tell you.” Folding his arms over his burly chest, he nodded toward the window and winked. “Jordan’s not married anymore.”

“What?” A combination of relief, fear, and hope shot through Gavin like fire. “When?”

“Divorced. About six months ago, I think.” Rick shrugged. “I dunno. Something like that. Apparently, the guy was a real piece of work.”

“And you planned on telling me this when?” Gavin moved across the room, slowly closing the distance between himself and Rick. Hands on his hips, irritation edged his voice. “How long have you known?”

“Maddy told me when I overheard her on the phone with Jordan. Not long before she came back.” He held up both hands. “And before you flip out, yes, I knew Jordan was moving back here, and, no, I didn’t tell you because, like I said, Maddy swore me to secrecy. I wasn’t allowed to tell you about Jordan’s divorce unless you asked.” He slapped Gavin on the shoulder. “Which you did. Kind of.”

“Divorced?” Gavin walked to the window and stared at the flower shop. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“Have you given her a chance, or have you been sitting over here with your dick in your hand for the past two weeks?”

Gavin stilled as the weight of Rick’s question hit him. No, he sure as hell hadn’t given her a chance. All he’d done was give her a big, fat attitude along with the chip on his shoulder.
Damn
it
all.
Gavin turned to respond to his friend, but the doorway was empty and he was once again alone. Letting out a breath, he ran both hands over his face vigorously.

He peered out the window again and squinted against the glare of the sun that flashed off the shop’s glass door. He watched it close slowly behind a customer while the latest bit of news sank in.