Brave New Love (7 page)

Finally, as though she’d given up on being offered any of the cornbread or apple slices on our trays, she picked up a fork and started eating. She had chicken. I was a little jealous.

“So,” Monica said to me, ignoring the rest of the table, “when’s the next raid? I’m itching to go.”

“I think I’ve done enough damage for a while,” I mumbled.

Mackenzie quietly giggled.

Monica shot her a look, and I guessed they weren’t going to be best friends. Jesse had told me Mackenzie was my responsibility and I realized the things she would need the most protection
from were at this very table.

“But we need new clothes for the little ones, Dylan,” Monica whined. “The twins have all but destroyed theirs.”

A little slowly, Mackenzie spoke. “You guys have babies here?”

The table slowly looked at her. I guess she thought we weren’t capable.

“Yes, cow,” Monica started. “We have babies here. We have a doctor and everything.”

Mackenzie scowled as she took another spoonful of smoothly whipped potatoes. “I’m not fat,” she said quietly, sounding confused instead of angry.

Monica sighed and whispered to me. “Can you imagine living with that?” She stood up and moved to where her parents were sitting. Monica was the only one of us who wasn’t an
adult but who didn’t live with her family. The rest of us didn’t have families to go to, so we just made our own groups. But what could I say about Monica? She’s just always been
independent.

Andrew got up to go get seconds and Tanya followed. With the group so small, I felt even more nervous about being around Mackenzie, but she was very at ease.

She took a few more nibbles at her food, and then looked at me. “Thanks for not killing me,” she said almost comically.

I smiled. Maybe trying to win her over wouldn’t be so hard. “Any time.”

She ate everything on her plate and sat there quietly as people came and went. Sometimes she closed her eyes and just listened to the sound. I bet things never got this loud around her
before.

Then I realized that winning her over like this, with her being the way she was, wasn’t exactly fair. My hope fell too quickly to be caught.

•  •  •

I woke up refreshed, like usual, after sleeping soundly. It took me a moment to realize I wasn’t under my purple comforter in my purple room. I looked up at the dark
wooden slats of the roof and was suddenly stricken.

“Dad?” I breathed, my heart starting to race. “Dad?”

“Huh?” someone said. I could barely hear it over the sound of my shallow breaths coming in and out of my mouth.

“Oh, no!” someone yelled, coming to my bed. I couldn’t place the face. Who was this person? “She needs something! Quick!”

“Monica, go! We’ll watch her.”

I heard a door slam while two intruders hovered above me. They were going to take me. No! No, wait, I was already taken. Were they going to hurt me? Had they already?

My eyes were swimming, and I called out louder. “DAD!”

“What’s going on?” said someone else, a boy this time.

“She woke up like this. Monica’s getting her food,” a girl answered.

Food? I didn’t want any food. I wanted my dad. If I could just stop shaking and get away from these people I could go find him.

Two strong hands grabbed my face and made it still. “Mackenzie, can you hear me?”

I sucked in a jagged breath. Fingers went to my eyes and wiped away hot tears. I could finally make out the face. It was him. It was Dylan.

“Mackenzie, just nod your head. Do you hear me?”

I nodded.

“Everything’s fine. You’re scared and you don’t know why, right?”

“You kidnapped me! I want my dad!” I screamed.

“I know, I know,” he said, trying to calm me. “Shit, she’s bad.”

“I’ve got juice! And a muffin!” someone called entering the room.

“Thank God,” Dylan said. “Juice first.”

There was a moment of fumbling and then liquid splashed on to my face.

“Hold her still,” an angry voice instructed.

I tried to fight, but someone was holding my nose so I had to open my mouth. I coughed and gagged and swallowed juice I couldn’t taste and then . . . and then . . .

I dropped my hands, which were gripping Dylan’s wrists. I hadn’t realized I was doing that. My body was still shaking but it slowed and though I’d just woken up I felt
exhausted.

I looked around the room, and began to recognize the faces. Tanya and Alicia were standing there, disheveled and anxious. Monica held a plastic-wrapped muffin in her hand, and Gabe stood there
doing nothing. And Dylan. Dylan was sitting on my bed, his hands still on my face. Slowly, he released me.

“Sorry,” I said. “Did I hurt you?”

He held back a laugh. “No.” He looked at Monica. “From now on, juice in the room. Or something. I’ll have to get more, soon.”

He made it sound as if I were going to be here for an awfully long time. Maybe until I grew old or died. “What about my dad?” I whispered.

Dylan looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. Without a word, he stood and left.

Something deep inside me wanted to cry more, but I couldn’t. Instead I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

•  •  •

I went to the workshop and tried to direct my anger into something productive. The Dodson twins were getting to the point that they needed highchairs, so I was trying to build
some. I’d never made anything but tables and benches before, and we all worked on the cabins. I had no instructions, which meant this was bound to be a long project.

It was going to take some serious focusing to get this right, which was just what I needed. Mackenzie looked so lost this morning I could barely stand to look at her. My thoughts kept bouncing
between what was right and what was wrong, to the point that I could feel my head aching.

On the one hand, I’d rescued her from the mind-numbing treadmill that life with the Regulars had become. I was convinced she could be happy here. She’d be able to remember what it
was like to really feel happy. In that sense, I felt like a hero.

But she’d never asked to be taken from that world. She didn’t even realize there was anything wrong with it. She just wanted her dad. So if I was keeping her from the only thing she
wanted, how could I think that what I’d done was good?

I kept trying to convince myself it was. If I could just get some time . . . I shook my head, and focused instead on the wood. It would have to be sanded. I began the task, blocking out all
other thoughts.

Sometime mid-morning, there was a knock on the workshop door. Without waiting for an answer, Monica walked in.

“You okay?” she asked. “You seemed really tense this morning.”

“Obviously,” I said, measuring the wood. “We can’t have her freaking out like that. She could hurt someone.”

“It’s not my fault,” she snapped.

“Didn’t say it was.”

Monica grumbled and walked around the room. Dust stirred in the light around her, trying to escape the space she was heading to.

There was something about Monica, no doubt. If I were asked to pick any of the girls here to pair off with, it’d be her. I imagined she felt the same way. We had our reasons to be angry
with the world and understood those things in each other. And we were both fast and strong, easily the most daring in the bunch. So, sure, she’d make a good choice.

But, really, was that a choice? If you’re in a desert and your options are sand, more sand, and water . . .

“Look, Dylan,” she said, sighing, “Doc Sara’s used most of what little you were able to bring for the Masens. The homeopathic stuff is slow and she’s just trying to
keep them comfortable. With the cow needing at least three meals a day, we’re going to need more food. Lots more.”

I sighed. I really didn’t want to go on another raid. I didn’t want to leave Mackenzie here alone.

“Unless you want to take her back,” Monica suggested.

“No,” I answered just a little too quickly. Monica searched my face, and I could tell she was seeing through any trace of cool I thought I had. She saw my worry, my shame, and maybe
even my hope.

She pursed her lips in anger, turned and walked toward the door. “We should go today.”

The door slammed behind her. I sighed again, and went back to measuring.

•  •  •

Alicia’s fingers in my hair were so soothing. I didn’t know how to French-braid on my own and my dad couldn’t do it, of course. Her hands dredged up memories
of my mother’s hands, tickling my scalp.

“I think Gabe likes you,” she whispered as she braided. “Don’t say anything to Tanya. She kind of has a thing for him.”

“Dylan, Gabe. Anyone else I should avoid?” I replied dreamily. “Is Andrew yours or something?”

She laughed out loud at that. “No, Andrew is no one’s. I kind of have my eye on this older guy, but he doesn’t notice me. But that’s okay. I knew it might be like that
here.”

Like that
here?
Wasn’t Alicia born here?

“Anyway, like I said, don’t say anything to Tanya.”

“Don’t worry,” I assured her. “I’m not interested in Gabe. I don’t really feel that way about anyone.”

It seemed like this scenario—this girls-who-liked-boys-who-liked-other-girls thing—was typical here. Back home, I never felt that way. None of my friends seemed to either. In fact,
wasn’t that one of the new programs being set up? A dating service to help people be more active, a change from all the hard work they were doing . . . So some people were interested in
getting out there like that. Not me.

“No one?” she asked skeptically.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I have school and work. I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”

I did have friends. Just enough though to keep me satisfied. Kimmy probably knew by now that I was gone. I hoped she wasn’t too worried. I imagined how far behind I’d be in school by
the time I got back. I’d probably have to do the whole year over, I’d have forgotten so much. Thanks a lot, Dylan.

Dylan. I couldn’t figure him out. Sometimes I felt as if I should be upset with him, but then it didn’t seem worth the effort. What in the world did he think he’d achieve by
taking me? I tried to reason it out. He must want money. If they had money, they wouldn’t have to steal from people’s houses anymore.

“Alicia, you came here on purpose?” I asked, a little surprised at myself for asking.

Her hands froze for a moment, but then continued. “Yes, I did.”

“Why? Don’t you miss the nice houses and the food and the freedom?”

To my surprise she laughed. “I did miss my freedom. That’s why I left.”

I scrunched up my forehead in thought, trying to understand. How could you call living in a little room in the middle of the woods freedom?

In the distance, a bell rang.

“Lunch time!” Alicia cried and hastily finished my hair so we could leave.

On the way she pulled my arm as she half-jogged to the dining area, but I was more than content to walk. We were among the first there anyway and lined up to get our food. I was looking forward
to at least having some of the strawberries that had been laid out. They looked so bright and delicious.

“Here you go,” an older woman said handing one of the pre-wrapped food trays from home to me.

I took it but was confused. “Can’t I just have what everyone else is having? I won’t eat too much. I promise.”

The woman kindly shook her head. “Not today.”

Disappointed, I took the tray over to the place we’d sat the day before and waited for the others. Alicia hurried through the line to sit with me; Gabe and Tanya weren’t far behind.
I peeled back the polymer film on top of the food tray and looked at it sadly. It’s not that it tasted bad or anything. It’s just that fresh fruit was so tempting and I wished they were
willing to share.

“Hey, Mackenzie,” Gabe said, sitting down beside me. I took a peek at Tanya, who did actually seem a little disappointed that he’d sat next to me and not her.

Alicia mercifully took the reins of the conversation as Andrew sat down. “Where’s Monica? Anyone know?”

“Oh, yeah,” Gabe said, popping one of the delicious-looking strawberries into his mouth. “She and Dylan left. Said they won’t be back until late. We’re supposed to
watch her,” he said, nodding his head at me.

Dylan was gone? Suddenly, a rush of sensations swept through me. I couldn’t quite identify any of them apart from the fact that some were good and some were bad. I knew there was a bit of
hope. If he’d left, he must be giving his demands to my dad. That meant I’d leave soon. But then, he was with Monica, and something about that didn’t feel right to me.

“You all right?” Tanya asked.

I snapped out of my daze to find the four of them looking at me. “Yes,” I said simply. To make my point, I lifted a forkful of rice to my mouth. Seconds later, I didn’t even
care that Dylan was gone.

•  •  •

“Dammit, Dylan,” Monica whispered.

We were sitting quietly at a bus stop, taking things in. We’d planned on hitting up several houses while people were still at work and school. This was simple. Food only. Food and then
home.

The problem was the posters. Mackenzie’s face was on the bus-stop shelter, on a bulletin board by the library, posted on nearly every phone pole . . . everywhere. This was the closest
I’d ever seen Regulars come to feeling apprehension.

There were no outraged cries or even children rushing faster than normal to get home. But people knew she was gone. As they passed, they looked at her picture and murmured stuff like,
“Aww, that’s too bad.”

“Just stay cool,” I told Monica. “No one’s going to suspect us as long as we keep our heads down. You go left, I’ll go right. We’ll meet back in an
hour?”

“Sounds good,” she said. Before she walked away, she leaned back down and whispered, “Don’t pick up anyone else, okay?”

I knew it was meant to be a joke, but it bothered me.

After she was gone, I walked away, too. I stopped only once, to take one of the flyers down and tuck it into my pocket.

We were smart and efficient, and within an hour we had at least two weeks’ worth of food. We met back in our secret place, just on the edge of a public garden, where we pretended to admire
some flowers until the coast was clear, and when it was, we disappeared into the woods.