Authors: Alicia Michaels
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #Romantic Comedy, #Contemporary Fiction
“Nowhere,” I answered breathlessly.
“Exactly,” he replied, taking a step away from me. “Getting into your pants was never the goal. Although,” he added with a sly grin, “if you’re nice to me, I might let you get into mine.”
He dove back into the pool, and I followed, desperate to cool off after that hot kiss. I was getting way more than I bargained for with this guy, which meant I needed to be careful. Most of the guys I dated and had casual sex with were superficial; pretty, but not that smart, nice enough, but not anything to write home about. Chase was the complete opposite of that, which made him dangerous.
We spent the next hour swimming, and then lounging in the grass beside the lagoon, staring at the canopy of trees above us. Beyond the canopies, I could see the clouds gathering, but was reluctant to suggest we go back to the resort. It wasn’t lying on a beach chair with a mimosa in my hand, but hanging out with Chase in the rainforest turned out to be a better day than I’d expected.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked, breaking the silence. I turned to look at him, lounging on my back with my wet hair frizzing around my head.
Chase turned on his side and propped his head up on his hand. “Sure.”
“Why were you having a bad day yesterday?” I asked.
Chase scowled, his eyes avoiding mine. “No reason,” he answered, his voice clipped. “Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
Frowning, I sat up. “Yeah, I don’t think so. This place is paradise for you. No way am I buying that. You owe me an explanation for the way you treated me.”
“You weren’t exactly Mary Sunshine.”
I shrugged. “Fine, whatever, don’t tell me.”
I focused my stare back on the lagoon, exasperation pricking me again. God, how had I forgotten how annoying Chase could be? He wasn’t my type at all, no matter how attracted to him I was. After a few seconds of silence, Chase sighed.
“Okay, if you really want to know … I broke up with my girlfriend right before coming on this trip. We’d been dating since we graduated high school, off and on, and it just didn’t work out. After four years of trying to force it, the whole thing just blew up in my face.”
I nodded; I certainly could understand that. “Been there, done that,” I told him. “I haven’t dated anyone seriously in two years. I find it’s just simpler to keep things casual and fun.”
Chase snorted. “You got that right. You want to know the crazy part? You remind me of her in so many ways. I know it’s not fair to you, but it’s why I disliked you on sight. I detested you, but then I wanted to press you up against a wall and kiss you. It’s a volatile mix.”
“Was your ex-girlfriend a stunningly beautiful blonde?” I asked jokingly, hoping to ease some of the tension. Hearing about his breakup only reminded me of my past, and the reason I preferred to avoid relationships.
He shook his head. “No, a brunette. But her parents are filthy rich, just like yours. She’s a pampered, spoiled little debutante, just like you. And I didn’t realize it until it was too late, but she was a manipulative little bitch who knew how to string me along and keep coming back to her time and time again. We used to talk about getting married and all that. I was crazy about her, and I thought she felt the same way, even though my dad was a plumber and my mom was a housewife, and I barely had two pennies to rub together. I think she just enjoyed the fact that I was so devoted to her, all the while looking for a rich, connected guy behind my back. Well, she found more than a few. When I discovered she’d been cheating, I dumped her.”
I stiffened, my jaw clenching tightly. “You don’t know me,” I ground out, my voice trembling with anger. “You don’t know anything about me. How dare you compare me to her after knowing me for only five minutes?”
“Experience has taught me that judging a book by its cover is a real good way to save yourself unnecessary pain down the road. Sorry, princess, but if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck …”
“Then it must be a manipulative bitch,” I finished for him. “Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Know-It-All, we’re not all like that, you know. Just because I like expensive things doesn’t make me a bad person. One of my best qualities is that I’m exceedingly honest, to the point of being downright blunt. You know what I think of you? You’re a pretentious little snot who thinks he’s better than everyone else because he doesn’t eat anything with a face. The truth is, you’re insecure because that girl spent four years breaking you down and you just can’t stand for anyone else to do that to you again. So you act all high and mighty to keep people at arm’s length.”
Chase’s eyes were wide as he sat up as well, turning to face me. “Wow,” he said, clearing his throat. “It seems you’ve pretty much got me pegged. You know way more than you should for someone who just met me yesterday. I wonder why that is, Chloe?”
I smirked smugly. “I’m a terrific judge of character,” I said.
He shook his head. “No way, no one’s that good. It’s because you’re just like me. Your little stuck-up snob routine is just an act. Underneath all that, you’re just a lonely girl who got her heart broken by some jerk.”
He was actually only partly right. I used to be lonely as hell before I met Jenn, Kinsley, Christian, and Luke. They filled that void in my life, and living with them has made me considerably happier than I used to be. Still, he hit pretty close to the mark.
“What happened, Chloe?” he asked when I didn’t answer. “You owe me, I told you my entire story.”
I wrapped my arms around my knees. “What’s to tell? My parents were friends with his, we went to the same prep school and all that. Our moms played matchmaker to get us together, and I fell for it like an idiot. He was white, handsome, and rich—three qualities my father requires of the guys who date his little girl. I’m sure you can see where this is going.”
“I’m guessing he wasn’t as much of a Southern gentleman as he seemed.”
“Not even. He liked his girls submissive, and I’ve never been the type. He didn’t like it when I stepped out of line.”
Chase’s frown deepened and he leaned forward, searching my face for the truth. “Chloe … are you saying this guy put his hands on you?”
A lump rose in my throat as the memories flooded my mind too quickly to stifle them. “Yeah, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it. It happened, and now it’s over. Once I came to my senses, I gave that asshole a black eye and walked away. I never looked back.”
“Damn, princess,” he said, “how am I supposed to pry my foot from my mouth after that? I’m sorry.”
I stood and forced a laugh. “Come on, don’t get all mushy on me now. I still think you’re a pretentious little snot.”
Chase stood as well. “And I still think you’re a spoiled little brat. What are we doing here, Chloe?” He came closer to me, his hands finding my waist and pulling me close. “You’re exactly the kind of complication I don’t need in my life right now.”
My hands found his belt buckle, using it to pull him even closer to me until our hips met. “Yeah, well I don’t need you either,” I answered, standing on tiptoe to reach his lips. I bit down on his lower lip playfully and tugged. “But I want you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
His hands slid down to grip my ass and he ground his hips against mine suggestively. “Want is instinctive, it’s something that can’t be helped. Why fight it?”
Slowly, deliberately, I slid his belt through the loop and reached for the button of his shorts. “I won’t fight it if you don’t,” I whispered, my fingers skimming the fine hairs running down his abdomen, and the bulging undulations of his muscles. His stomach clenched in response, the muscles in his neck and chest tensing.
Wordlessly, Chase reached up to the strings holding my bikini in place at the back of my neck. With a swift tug, he loosened it, causing the black triangles to fall away. His eyes fixated on my breasts, going wide as his tongue swept out to wet his lips. Another tug, and he had the strings at my back undone, letting the top fall away. His hands came up to touch me and I moaned, my back arching in invitation, begging for more. He kissed me again, his tongue invading my mouth this time, as he reached down to grasp my hips, lifting me until my legs were wrapped around his waist.
My fingers tangled in his hair as I kissed him back hungrily, my body surging with heat and lust so strong I couldn’t deny it any more. What did it matter that nothing could ever come of this? Hell, neither of us was ready for another relationship, anyway. It just felt so good to surrender, to lose myself in this guy who made me feel things no other guy ever had.
He sank to the ground, laying me back, his fingers running through my damp waves. One of his hands found my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. “What if I told you all of your makeup had washed off?” he asked with a smirk.
I scowled at him. “I’d say you were rude for pointing that out.”
He leaned close, his tongue finding my ear in a spine-tingling stroke. “And what if I told you that I thought you were beautiful just like this?” he whispered, his breath tickling my neck. Shivers ran through me, and my answer lodged in my throat as his lips lowered to my jaw, my chin, my throat—kissing, nipping, sucking. His hands were everywhere, skimming my curves, finding all the little spots that made my toes curl.
My fingers dug into his shoulders as he lowered his head, his curls tickling my chest as he traced a path of fiery kisses down to my belly button. I closed my eyes as he snatched at the strings holding my bottoms up, baring me completely. The warmth in my middle had spread, the tingle increasing to an unbearable throb between my legs, which was only slightly relieved when Chase touched me.
By the time he was undressed and lowering himself between my legs, I’d forgotten every reason why this was a bad idea. I’d forgotten that I’d gone so quickly from hating this guy to wanting him so badly I thought I was going to die; from feeling as if we were from different planets to realizing that we had more in common than I’d realized. I forgot everything except for Chase, and how it felt to have him on top of me. I knew then that even though we’d pretty much agreed this would be the only time, once would never be enough.
Chapter 3
“I’m pregnant!”
I shouted the words the instant Chase’s lips broke away from mine. I was determined to get it out before I lost myself too fully in his kiss and the large hand pressed against my stomach, angling its way toward my breast.
Chase paused, his wide eyes darting up to mine, the boob forgotten. He jerked away from me as if I’d stung him, leaning back against the driver’s side door. Eyebrows scrunched, mouth open … yep, he was definitely as shocked as I’d been. The poor bastard.
“It’s your baby, by the way,” I murmured, turning to stare out into the rapidly darkening night. “In case you were wondering.”
Chase cleared his throat, then shifted a bit in his seat. From the corner of my eye I could see that his hands were on the steering wheel, clutching it tight. He cleared his throat again.
“Yes, I gathered that,” he said, his voice raspy and choked. “You’re sure?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m pretty sure that magical, plastic stick I peed on wouldn’t lie to me. Not to mention I haven’t had a period since before we met. Safe to say … yes, I’m sure.”
He inhaled, puffing out his cheeks, then exhaled noisily. Leaning forward, he rested his head on the wheel and closed his eyes. “Whoa.”
That’s it? Whoa?
I was expecting screaming and flailing, Kermit the Frog style. Maybe a mad dash for the hills. Definitely not his almost calm state of shock.
“I don’t want anything from you,” I said softly. “I don’t expect you to drop out of school to support me, or be involved if you don’t want. I can handle this just fine on my own, but I figured you had a right to know.”
One of his arms shot across the space between us, his fingers curling tightly around my wrist; not so tightly it hurt, just enough that I knew he meant business when he leaned over the center dash and said, “That’s my kid. I’m going to be involved.”
I could only stare at him and blink, dumbfounded by his intensity. My throat constricted and I felt tears springing to my eyes—something that rarely happens. I chose to blame those mythical pregnancy hormones everyone’s always talking about.
“Okay,” I said gently, afraid to upset him even more. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just that, you know, usually when a girl tells a guy she’s knocked up, the jackassery ensues. Besides, I haven’t even decided if I’m going to have it.”
Chase nodded, his tight hold loosening on the wheel. “All right,” he said.
I frowned. “Don’t you want to give some input on that?”
“Look,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “when I said I would be involved, I didn’t mean I’d try to tell you what to do with your body.”
“Yeah, but everybody has an opinion on this subject, even you. Especially you. You’re one of the most socially conscious people I’ve ever met. If I decide I don’t want to have this baby, are you going to hate me forever and think I’m a terrible person?”
“I’m not going to let you make this decision based on what you think I’m going to think of you. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, and if going through with this pregnancy isn’t what you want, then it isn’t what you want. The thought of being a dad terrifies me, so I can’t pretend this solution doesn’t make things easier for me. On the flip side if you decide to go through with it, just know I’m going to be here for you guys. I might be scared as shit now, but I’ll get over myself. If we have to learn to be parents, we’ll do it together. Okay?”
I nodded, staring down at my hands. I hadn’t noticed until then that they were tightly clenched in my lap and shaking. “Okay. Thank you, Chase.”
Silently, he cranked the car and backed out of the parking space. “No need to thank me for doing the right thing.”
“I can’t believe you’re being so calm,” I said, studying his profile and waiting for the inevitable freak-out. “You’re being surprisingly cool about this.”
“I don’t know about calm, but I see no reason to freak out. We didn’t use protection, and to add gasoline to that little fire, we had sex several times in one night.”
He was right about that. After our little romp in the rainforest, we’d gotten dressed and walked back to Chase’s cabin, where I spent the night learning that that little tree hugger knows how to use his tongue. The back of my neck went hot just thinking about it.
“Yes, I was there,” I reminded him.
“Does anyone else know?” he asked as he merged onto the highway. “Jenn or Kinsley?”
Usually, they’d be the first people I would have told, but they both have their own things going on these days. Jenn is all goo-goo in love with Luke to the exclusion of pretty much everything else, and Kinsley is still in mourning over Aaron and spending way too much time in the bathroom.
“No,” I answered. “I didn’t want to tell anyone until I knew what I was going to do.”
“That’s probably best. I won’t tell anyone either, not until you’re ready.”
“I appreciate that.”
Silence stretched on between us as the UT campus came into view. The radio had been turned down to a dull murmur, and I could barely make out the words of whatever song was playing. As Chase pulled into the parking lot at the back of the row of apartments, he turned to me with a grin.
“So, I guess now you have to date me … being my baby mama and all.”
I snorted. “What a great basis for a relationship.”
“Well, you know, after I make a baby with a woman that’s when I tend to really get serious.”
Avoiding his gaze, I reached for my purse. “Listen, Chase—”
“It’s not me, it’s you. I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now. I don’t think it’s a good idea if we get involved. Let’s just focus on the baby for now. Does that about cover all the angles of the rejection I know is coming?”
I glowered at him. “It’s not a rejection,” I muttered. “It’s reality. All of those things are true. We barely know each other, and things have already started off complicated enough.”
“Seems to me the rest should be pretty easy,” he argued. “If you decide to have this baby, you and I are connected for life.”
“One could argue that we’re only connected for the next eighteen years.”
Chase shook his head. “The kid’s going to get married someday, right? We’re going to be in-laws to the same person, grandparents to the same kids—”
“Let’s just get through this part before we start talking about grandchildren.” Just thinking about becoming a grandmother makes me cringe, as I tend to associate grandmothers with women who’ve had too much plastic surgery, wear too much make-up and jewelry, and stagger around muttering about how sexy that ‘fine, dark chocolate’ Blair Underwood is. No? Just my grandmother then?
Chase nodded. “Fair enough. You’re throwing up all the signs here, and it’s pretty clear.”
It wasn’t that simple, but there was no way I could tell Chase that I’d never wanted anyone in my life the way I wanted him … or how much that terrified me. I couldn’t tell him how much it freaked me out, the possibility of losing yourself in someone else so much that you start to lose yourself. I did that once, and ended up with a guy’s handprint on the side of my face while I sobbed and tried to rationalize his behavior and convince myself that it wouldn’t happen again. Until it did … again, and again, and again.
Instead of telling him any of that, I simply opened my car door and stepped one foot out onto the pavement. “I guess it is,” I said simply before leaving the car altogether.
The house was fairly quiet when we returned. Christian, Luke, and Jenn had gone to a party one of the fraternities was throwing, which left Kinsley alone. She was in the bathroom … again. Frowning, I tried the knob and found it locked. Since her breakup with Aaron she’d been spending a lot of time in there, and no one ever knew what she was doing. She always emerged with red, watery eyes and a flushed face. Anytime one of us would ask her what was wrong, she would say ‘nothing’, and change the subject. Something weird was going on with her, and I hated not knowing what.
Now that Jenn was gone, we were the only girls in the house. Even though we shared a room, I’d never been as close to Kinsley as Jenn. They were friends before I moved in, and while we became close quickly, I sometimes felt like the third wheel with them. It didn’t bother me or anything; I’ve never been the type to have close girlfriends. Jenn and Kinsley were the first girls I ever let get close, and I was just happy to be able to call them my friends.
Still, I was worried about her and wanted to try to help her if I could. Knocking gently, I pressed my ear to the door. “Kins, you in there?”
A few moments of silence, and then she answered. “Yeah.”
Her voice sounded strained and hoarse, as if she’d been crying. Pressing a palm against the door, I closed my eyes and tried to think of what Jenn would say. She’s the most sensitive of the three of us. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Do you need anything?”
It was really the best I could do when I was barely okay myself, when I had no idea what I was going to do about my own situation.
“No,” she answered sharply. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a second.”
Sighing, I nodded and backed away. “Okay.”
I retreated to our room, relieved to have a door, a hallway, and another door between me and Chase—at least until morning. He was being cool about things now, but it wouldn’t be long before he started pressuring me for an answer about what I planned to do. How was I going to look him in the eye and tell him that I didn’t want this baby? Aside from the fact that I had no desire to become a mother at the age of twenty-two, there was also the fact that I had no notion of how to take care of one. All I knew about babies was that they cried, pooped, and chewed things. I didn’t know what to do when one got sick, or how to put one to sleep, or even how to make a bottle of formula.
It wasn’t a question of being financially able. One phone call, and my dad would have set me up in an apartment with a nursery and enough money in the bank to hire a nanny and pay the rent for as long as I needed. As I sat on the edge of the bed and removed one of my pumps, I knew that wasn’t the kind of life this baby deserved. It was what I’d had growing up—a nanny, inattentive parents, and no love or fun.
Was it really that simple? It seemed I’d already decided that having this baby would be a huge mistake. If that was the case, why did I still feel so uncertain?
Finding a place for the shoes in my overflowing closet, I set about getting ready for bed. By the time Kinsley came out of the bathroom, I was in my tank top and boy shorts, settling under the covers with a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and a smutty novel.
Kinsley came bouncing into the room, her hair slicked back into a high ponytail, her eyes set off by smoky eye shadow.
“Hey, how was your date?” she asked, her voice surprisingly chipper as she crossed to her closet.
“It wasn’t a date,” I said, mouth full of pretzel. “It was a meeting … call it business if you want.”
Kinsley laughed, pulling a black halter top from the closet. “What’s that you’re always telling me about letting go?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Yeah, in this case the words ‘get some’ aren’t exactly the best advice. I already got some, remember?”
Boy did I ever.
“So did you, if I recall.”
Kinsley shrugged, removing her T-shirt and replacing it with the halter. “Me and Derek was a one-time thing, just like you and Chase. Besides, my one-time thing didn’t follow me home, so it’s easier to put behind me. Yours is living across the hall. Why not indulge a little?”
Crunching another pretzel, I shook my head. “These chocolate pretzels are about all the indulgence I’m interested in for now.”
Kinsley reached for a pair of black, strappy, high-heeled sandals and pulled them on. “Well, you enjoy those. I’m going to go catch up with Luke, Jenn, and Christian. It’s only eleven, the party’s just getting started.”
My eyebrows shot up as she finished her outfit off with a pair of silver hoop earrings and a few dabs of perfume behind her ears. “You look hot.”
She smiled and turned in a little circle. “You think so?”
I nodded. “Definitely. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Laughing, Kinsley reached for her purse. “That leaves me a wide array of options,” she called out over her shoulder before disappearing.
Leaning back against the pillows, I opened my novel and tried to read. After re-reading the same paragraph four times, I gave up and let my thoughts roam. Instead of wandering to Chase or the baby as I’d thought it would, my brain switched to Kinsley. Something was going on with that girl, and as much as I wanted to blame it on the breakup, I just wasn’t sure. Losing Aaron was a huge blow for Kinsley, but she’d never been the type to party the night before the first day of class. Even if she would go to a party on a school night, she’d never leave the apartment so late. She’d arrive promptly, have one or two drinks, and call it a night by ten.
Shaking my head, I decided that I was overreacting. Kinsley was probably just entering that phase of singlehood that consists of enjoying one’s freedom and playing the field. While we were on vacation this summer she’d gotten cozy with Derek, a friend of Chase’s from Texas A&M. Maybe it had showed her that there were other fish in the sea. Either way, I had my own problems. Besides, if Kinsley was going through something, she’d go to Jenn before she’d come to me, and her best friend would help her work through her problems.