Bradley, Marion Zimmer - Novel 19 (32 page)

 
          
Vaniya's
voice, too, was not more than a whisper. She said, "They spoke to me, as I
know they have spoken to you; I saw your face when we came to the ruins, the
day of the great wave, when the village was destroyed, and you proved yourself
one of us by risking your life to ring the alarm. But in all the years we have
dwelt on Isis, Cendri, in all the years we have come here to worship, they have
spoken to no male. No male has ever heard their voice. And thus we know,
Cendri, we know beyond any possible shadow of a doubt, that the Builders of our
race ordained women to rule, and that the Unity was wrong, wrong, wrong! Tell
me—" she turned her face, pale in the moonlight, to the younger woman,
"during all your time in the ruins, has your Companion ever heard their
voice?"

 
          
Cold
and shaking with chill, Cendri whispered, "No.
Never."

 
          
"And
you have heard it. I know you have heard it, child, I have seen it in your
face—"

 
          
Cendri
whispered, reluctantly, her spine prickling, "I have—I have heard."

 
          
Vaniya
nodded, slowly, drew Cendri to her feet, her arm around the younger woman. She
held Cendri close to her, within the heavy cloak she wore. Together, arms
enlaced, holding each other against falling in the darkness, they went down the
steps toward the site of the old spaceship.

 
          
"Come,
child. Come. I know now that they will help
me, that
they will speak to me; they, who know all, will surely help me to find the
tokens of the Mother, so that I may continue to guide my daughters. They will
reaffirm my
leadership,
let me remain Mother to my
people. Come, Cendri. Come and see."

 
          
Clouds
drifted across the face of the nearer moon; the further, shining valiantly,
gave a light substantially dimmed as the women, clinging together, moved toward
the dark loom of the old spaceship. Cendri wondered why—and how?—the ship
itself had become a focus of the presence, whatever it was. Or had the
mysterious Builders simply drawn the ship down to themselves? We-were-guided,
the Matriarchs called the ruins, thus commemorating the contact with the alien
presences.

 
          
Builders.
Dal was right, then, and these ancient ruins were
the site of those who had seeded the known Galaxy with their offspring. Her
skin prickled, and she felt cold creep along her veins. Had this alien race
actually cast their seal on the Matriarchate as their preferred people?

 
          
The
torch in Vaniya's hand flickered and went out, but Vaniya, her steps unerring
in the darkness, guided them on. As they neared Cendri began to feel again the
sense of
an overwhelming
, welcoming warmth that lapped
about her, crept up into her whole body, so that she no longer felt the cold or
the dampness of the dawn wind off the ocean. She no longer needed to see; her
feet were drawn forward by some volition outside of herself. She struggled for
a moment to cling to herself, to her own perceptions, not this alien thing that
seemed about to overcome her, to suffocate her own personality.

 
          
I
don't believe in Gods
..
.religions are an element of
social control—even Vaniya, who is their priestess, said so tonight
..
.And yet something drew her on, something outside
herself, a glow within,
a warmth
, a sense of being
lapped in deep, loving tenderness. Vaniya had fallen to her knees; Cendri was not
conscious of any act of will as she fell beside the other woman, kneeling there
rapt in the warmth.

 
          
1
love
you...you are loved, you belong to me, you are mine
..
.Cendri struggled to keep an atom of awareness back from the intensity of this,
the sensation of being swallowed up in it... no use. She drifted in rapture.
She never knew how long she knelt there, suffused, overcome, in the presence
which wiped out her critical judgment or her disbelief
..
.how could she disbelieve? It was there, it was real, it was
..
.transcendence____

 
          
The
sunrise blurred her eyes, and she felt them fill with hot tears. It was gone;
she was alone, kneeling beside Vaniya on the chill surface of the ruins, and
the towering mass above them was only an old hulk of a spaceship, long past its
usefulness. She felt cold and alone, the last traces of the warmth and the
presence slowly withdrawing in little ripples from her mind and her senses.

 
          
At
her side Vaniya sighed, struggling to her feet with a faint groan of pain from
stiffened joints. Cendri turned quickly and helped the old woman regain her
feet.

 
          
Vaniya
pressed her hand affectionately. She said in a whisper, her face still blank
with the last traces of the rapture, "How strange—and how rational. Mother
Rezali indeed confirmed my leadership, knowing how Mahala hates and fears the
serpents of the shore." Her eyes blinked, focused on Cendri. "In the
sea-caves, so
They
have told me, I will find the ring
and the robe, the true ones and no forgery."

 
          
"Must
we go, then, and find them?"

 
          
Vaniya
shook her head. "I will send Maret, and my daughters whom I can trust; you
have done enough, little Cendri." Her hand on Cendri's shoulder, Cendri
supporting Vaniya's steps, they came slowly up out of the ruins, into the
reddening fog along the shore. The sun was rising; it was damp, and as they
retraced their steps along the shore, the incoming tide lapped at their shoes
and soaked the edges of their long cloaks. In the garden, every blade of the
greyish grass and every leaf
was
soaking, and the
opening blooms of the fish-flavoring herbs gave a sharp, penetrating fragrance
to the shrubbery. Vaniya breathed it in and laughed softly. "From the
smell of the garden I can tell the seasons—you will join us in the festival,
little daughter? Truly you are one of us now, since the Old Ones have spoken to
you." She gave Cendri an affectionate hug, and Cendri smiled up at her,
and said, "Laurina has asked me to join you—"

 
          
Looking
into Vaniya's face, she was suddenly aware of how old Vaniya must be. She
looked strong and vigorous, indeed; but long fasting and sleepless nights, had
told on the iron strength of the Pro-Matriarch. "Mother," Cendri
said, using the older woman's formal title for the first time, "I beg you,
go and sleep, and have something to eat! You are so tired!"

 
          
Vaniya
sighed, and said, "As soon as I have sent the women of my household to
reclaim Rezali's ring and robe
.. .my
daughters will
need my strength in the days to come." And with a faint shiver Cendri
realized that Vaniya did not mean Miranda and Lialla and her children and
grandchildren, but all of the women of Isis, who, if she were High Matriarch,
would be her daughters.

 
          
...and
I too, I am her daughter
..
.Cendri thought with an
atavistic prickle, tension gripping her whole body. As they came up into the
house, the women of the household came flocking into the main hall; but at the
look on Vaniya's face they drew back, and Cendri knew that they still saw, in
Vaniya's eyes, the ecstasy of contact, the Presence still clinging to her.

 
          
This
is the
true religious experience,
the only thing which keeps
 
a religion from being
mere imposture
..
.the
actual touch of
 
something beyond
the
world we
know
..
.and it is real
..
.real______

 
          
Vaniya
said briskly, "Call Maret, at once; go with her to the sea-caves along the
shore, ten and a half kilometers beyond the pearl-divers' village. In the third
cave southward, exactly twenty meters from the entrance, the three-eyed snake
is painted on the wall. Dig down two meters and you will find a chest in which
Rezali's ring and robe are concealed."

 
          
Lialla
whispered, "The Mother Rezali has spoken to you, then, Mother?"

 
          
Vaniya
shook her head. "No. But
She
who is wiser than
the Mother Rezali in life or death sent the vision to my mind as I knelt to
seek guidance in We-were-guided. Go at once, my children. Lialla, Zamila, bring
me food; I must eat and recover my strength." She swayed, and her
daughters supported her. Vaniya said, "Send at once for Miranda, she too
must be told the news... Cendri, my child, go and rest!"

 
          
Cendri
left the old woman to the attendance of her daughters and granchildren, the
flocking women of her household, and slowly climbed the stairs to her own room.
She felt deathly cold and exhausted, completely unable to assimilate the
experience. She was completely free of doubt; she knew that Vaniya's women
would find the ring and robe as Vaniya had said, buried in a chest two meters
below the surface beneath a painted three-eyed serpent twenty meters inside the
third cave ten and a half kilometers south of the pearl-divers' village.

 
          
Clairvoyance, yes.
I
have always
been
willing to
believe
in
that.
 
But this
..
.this
presence___

 
          
Dal
stood up slowly from his place in the padded corner where he slept. His face
was stormy.

 
          
"Cendri,
where have you been? I was worried about you, and when I saw you coming back
from the ruins with Vaniya, across the garden—"

 
          
She
shook her head. "Dal, Vaniya has found the ring and robe of the High
Matriarch. She took me with her into the ruins to consult the—the presences
there—"

 
          
He
shook his head in confusion. "Cendri, what
is
it
with you and that woman?"

 
          
If
it had not been so deadly serious she would have laughed. She said, "Dal,
do you really believe that Vaniya and I are having a flaming love affair? Do
you realize she is old enough to be our grandmother?"

 
          
"That
hasn't stopped her from keeping Rhu for a lover, has it?"

 
          
"Rhu
is her Companion; I don't really know what their sex life is like and I
honestly don't give a damn. Anyway, that isn't the point. You can't have it
both ways, Dal; if you think she's keeping Rhu for a lover, it hardly makes
sense to think I am involved with her, does it?"

 
          
"You
are certainly loyal to her!"

 
          
Cendri
said seriously, "It's true; I love her. But not the way you evidently
think, Dal, and that's too ridiculous for words!" She would have laughed,
again, but she sensed his jealousy, the deep sense of uncertainty Dal felt, was
very real to him. She went to him and put her arms up around his neck.
"Dal, darling!
That isn't important now! I told you;
Vaniya has found the ring and robe of Rezali!"

 
          
Morosely,
Dal swore. "I hoped the other woman would get it, we might make some
headway with her!"

 
          
"I'm
not so sure," Cendri said slowly.

 
          
"A
society which picks its leaders on the word of a clairvoyant is a pretty silly
society, all things considered."

 
          
"It
isn't for you to judge them," Cendri said sharply.

 
          
"No,
damn it," Dal said angrily. "But Mahala is a sensible woman—"

 
          
Translation,
Cendri supplied to
herself
not speaking aloud, MahaJa
recognizes Dai's superior position and takes
it into account,
flattering
him. But she did not say so.

 
          
"Dal,
I was in the ruins, and the Builders spoke to Vaniya! They told her where to
find the ring and the robe—"

 
          
But
even as she spoke she saw the skepticism creeping over his face, and sighed. He
frowned.

 
          
"The
Builders spoke to her? Oh, come, Cendri!"

 
          
"They
did," she insisted stubbornly, "I was there—"

 
          
"So
what did they say to you?" he demanded, and she sighed, abandoning the
effort. How could she communicate to Dal, in words, an experience that was far
beyond them, a feeling, an emotion
....

 
          
"Look,
Cendri," he said reasonably, "your pal Vaniya is a consummate hokum
artist. She was trying to impress you. Maybe she has some clairvoyance—a lot of
people do. But I've been in those ruins, too, day after day. Nobody and nothing
ever spoke to me."

 
          
She
started to say, the Builders never speak to men, and stopped herself, Dal would
never believe that. He shook his head in amused contempt.

 
          
"Come
and sleep, Cendri, you're asleep on your feet
.. .wandering
all night long in the ruins with Vaniya! If she's found Rezali's ring and robe,
you've got to hand it to her, I suppose. I won't deny I'm sorry; Mahala is the
kind of person I can get along with, and I was planning, if she became High
Matriarch, to start laying the groundwork for a fully equipped scientific
expedition to come here to work on the ruins. These ruins are older than any
civilization I've ever seen or read about; there's a possibility they are
Builder ruins, if they have actually been preserved by Time stasis or some such
thing. A civilization two million years old, Cendri! And you expect me to
pussyfoot around because these stupid women here have made it into a Temple for
their idiotic religion?" He shook his head in disbelief. "But
Vaniya's a True Believer, and I hate the idea of having to work with her!"
Abruptly, he stopped his growing excitement and said in a kind tone,
"Sweetheart, you're asleep on your feet, come and rest. We'll talk about
it later sometime, if you want to."