Boyfriends with Girlfriends (10 page)

When she’d gotten home from the manga convention that afternoon, Kimiko had pressed the daisy Allie had given her into her poetry notebook.

After dinner, her creative writing classmate, Serena,
had come over so they could read their latest poems and give each other feedback. When Serena returned home, Kimiko felt inspired by her encouragement to keep working on her poem. For the rest of the evening, she typed and retyped words, shifted stanzas, moved sentences . . . .

One minute she loved what she’d written. The next moment she hated it. Writing was always like that for her. The words never lived up to the feelings she wanted to express. From the very first word she put on paper, it seemed as though the poem was already ruined.

Tonight was no different. Her eyes were blurry from fatigue as she read over what she’d written:

T
HE
W
ORLD
’S S
IX
T
RILLIONTH
L
OVE
P
OEM
   P
OEMS ABOUT LOVE AREN’T REALLY;
   THEY’RE ABOUT WANTING THE WRONG
PERSON, THE ONE WHO
   DOESN’T LOVE YOU BACK. THEY’RE ABOUT
   LUST, JEALOUSY, ENVY, LOSS. ABOUT
   FALSE PROMISES, SHATTERED DREAMS,
BROKEN HEARTS. ABOUT
   TEARS, LAUGHTER, REJECTION, DEATH,
EVERYTHING
EXCEPT
   LOVE.
   POEM UPON POEM, SONNET
   AFTER SONNET. ALL WITH THE SAME
REFRAIN
:
   “H
AVE
H
OPE
! Y
OU MUST
! K
EEP LOVE
ALIVE
!”
   S
O WE KEEP READING THEM, WRITING
THEM, AND THINKING:
   MAYBE THIS ONE
   WILL BE DIFFERENT.

Kimiko let out a breath, still dissatisfied. Despite Serena’s encouragement, she still wasn’t happy with it. But she didn’t know what else to change. She knew from experience that she could work on it till dawn and she still wouldn’t be content. Might as well just give up and hit
DELETE

“That means it’s time to put it aside,” Ms. Swann, her creative writing teacher always told the class.

Exhausted, Kimiko hit
SAVE
and closed the file. She was changing into her pajamas when her cell rang.

“He’s a virgin,” Sergio announced as soon as she answered. “He’s never even French-kissed—until tonight.”

“Wow,” Kimiko said, taking off her cap and sliding into bed. “He must really like you.”

“Huh?” Sergio asked, stopping at a traffic light.

“If you’re the first person he’s ever Frenched,” Kimiko explained, “he must think you’re really special.”

“Well, that’s pressure!” Sergio said, gripping the steering wheel more tightly. “What if I don’t live up to what he’s expecting?”

“Well, you can’t control what he expects. All you can do is be yourself.”

“Yes, Oprah,” Sergio said, continuing down the road. “At least we hashed out the bi thing. I think he finally got it. I feel like his teacher, which I kind of like. And I told him about Zelda and about hooking up. Man, I was a blabbermouth.”

“It’s good you put it all out there.”

“Yeah. I’m amazed he didn’t freak out.”

“That’s a good sign.”

“It’s hard to believe he’s a virgin. Damn, he’s a great kisser. Frickin’ gifted! How is it nobody’s snatched him up?”

“So does that mean there will be a second date?” Kimiko asked, just as her cell phone beeped. “Hold on! I got a text.”

“Let me guess,” Sergio said as she came back on. “Is it from your date this afternoon?”

“Shush, dude!”

“So what does she say?”

“That she liked the
Girl Panic
manga I gave her.”

Sergio burst into a laugh. “You gave her a girl-girl love story?”

“Well, she’d never read one before. I was just being friendly.”

“And she liked it, huh? She is
so
bi.”

“She’s just being polite. Let me text her back.” She wrote to Allie:
Glad u liked it. Hope 2 c u again soon!

She continued to talk with Sergio until he arrived home. When he got to his room, he went online to check messages and found an IM from Lance:
Thanx 4 a great time.

Should I reply?
Sergio wondered; although he’d enjoyed the time with Lance, this was starting to feel a little too gooey.

Ditto,
he wrote back. Then he undressed and climbed between the sheets, eager to relive their make-out session—and more.

“S
o, tell me what I missed,” Allie said when Lance picked her up for church choir the next morning. “What happened with Sergio? Where did you go? What did you do? I want the full lowdown.”

A sheepish little smile tugged at Lance’s lips. “We made out.”

“Woo-hoo!” Allie high-fived him. “And how was it?”

“Sweet! He said I’m a great kisser.”

“See?” She squeezed his shoulder as he pulled out of the driveway. “I knew you two would be good together.”

Lance pursed his lips, not quite as convinced. In the light of day, his doubts about Sergio had resumed.

“Uh-oh,” Allie said. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it? This is face-viewing range. I can see it.”

Lance let out a sigh, unsure he wanted to get into it before church. “Apparently, he truly is bi.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in bi people,” Allie said.

“Now I do. He’s already had full-on sex with both guys
and
girls.” To make sure she got the point, he repeated: “And
girls!
”

“Babe?” Allie patted his hand. “Could you please not make it sound so awful?”

“Oops, sorry. I just don’t get how somebody can get turned on by both. Being attracted to
one
seems complicated enough.”

“I know!” Allie nodded in agreement, recalling her date the previous evening with Chip.

“It’s like there’s this straight part of him,” Lance continued, “that I’ll never be able to connect with—and I don’t
want
to connect with it. Plus, he’s also done hookups. Compared to him, I feel like I’m in the remedial dating group.”

“But he thinks you’re a great kisser,” Allie said. “Give yourself some props.”

“Yeah . . .” Lance smiled proudly, calming down as he remembered making out. “And he said he likes me—on our first date! That’s more than I got from Darrell during the whole time we were together.”

“Wow!” She raised her palm and high-fived him again. “And did you tell Sergio you like him?”

“No. It felt too soon. It’s confusing; on one hand, it felt like we really connected, but on the other . . .” Lance stared out the windshield at the road ahead. “What if he ditches me for a girl?”

“Well, he could ditch you for a guy, too.”

“Is that supposed to reassure me?”

“Or you might ditch him, too. Who can say what will happen?”

“Yeah.” Lance tapped nervously on the steering wheel,
eager to talk about something else. “So, what happened with you and Chip? Did you talk to him about the stuff you told me?”

“Sort of. I told him I wanted to take a break. But then he kind of threw me for a loop. He said he’d wait for me for as long as it takes.”

“He’s going to
wait
for you?” Lance asked. “Wow! He really loves you, doesn’t he?”

“Either that or he’s a nut case.”

“I wish I could find somebody like that,” Lance said. “Not a nut case. I mean someone who—you know—we’d love each other that much.”

“But the problem,” Allie explained, “is that he loves me more than I love him. That’s what makes this so hard. And you want to hear something weird? Before we talked, he got totally excited about the girls’ love manga Kimiko gave me. And when I told him about that sex dream with the girl, I think he got turned on even more.”

“What is it with straight guys and lesbians?” Lance laughed and turned the car into the church parking lot.

“I know, right? What a pair: He gets off on the thought of two girls together while I get off on the idea of two guys together.”

And yet she’d also enjoyed the
Girl Panic
story.
So, what does that make me?
she wondered, still unsure. She felt relieved to get to choir so she could take her mind off of her identity drama—at least for a while.

* * *

That Sunday afternoon, Kimiko printed out her “World’s Six Trillionth Love Poem
”
and took it to Sergio, her biggest, most devoted fan.

“Here. I worked on it last night.” She unfolded the page from her jacket pocket and handed it to him. “I’m warning you—it’s pretty crappy.”

“I want you to read it to me,” he said, refusing to take the poem.

She’d known he’d say that; he always did. But she didn’t mind. It was good practice for poetry readings.

“Let me get comfy!” He hopped onto the bed, fluffed the pillows, and propped himself against the headboard. “Ready!”

Standing in front of him, she took a breath and read the poem. He listened closely, and when she’d finished, he leaped out of bed and chest-bumped her. “Bravo, man! I knew it would be great.”

She shrugged, unflattered. “You’d think it was great even if I wrote about picking my nose.”

“Because it would be!” He took the poem out of her hand and tacked it onto his wall. “So, what inspired you to write a love poem? Hmm . . . Could it have been your date with Allie?”

“I’m not listening,” Kimiko said, plugging her fingers into her ears until he shushed. “I want to hear more about your date with Lance. So, when are you guys going out again?”

“I don’t know. All morning long I’ve been thinking about him. . . .” While Sergio told her more about his
time with Lance, he lifted his guinea pig, Elton, out of its cage and stroked its soft fur. “. . . A second date would be like the start of a relationship. You know what I mean? A first date is like a test drive; going out again would mean I want to buy the car.”

“Not necessarily,” Kimiko argued. “It just means you’re willing to consider giving your love and affection to somebody who doesn’t need wood shavings and eat food pellets.”

“Ha-ha,” Sergio said. “Besides, last time it was me who asked him out. This time it’s his turn.”

“Why are guys so competitive like that?” Kimiko asked.

“We’re not competitive.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, we’re not.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Okay, we are!” Sergio said and pretended to sic Elton on her.

During the following week, Sergio and Lance exchanged IMs several times—only about day-to-day stuff like classes or TV, nothing serious. While Sergio waited for Lance to ask him out, Serena, Kimiko’s poetry classmate, kept chatting him up at lunch and between classes. She didn’t really stoke his furnace like Zelda or Lance did, but she had a funny sense of humor, smelled good, and as Kimiko had put it, she did have “a nice rack.”

“We should hang out sometime,” Serena told him one day at his locker.

“Sure,” he said, merely being friendly.

The next thing he knew she’d pulled out her cell. “What’s your number?”

That very evening, she phoned him. And as with Zelda, he was upfront with her about being bi.

“Kimiko already told you that, right?”

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Serena said with a giggle. And even though it was only their first phone conversation, she asked, “You want to go out Saturday?”

He hadn’t expected her to ask him out—at least not that quickly—and he wasn’t sure if she meant it as a date or just as friends. But since he didn’t have any plan for Saturday and Lance hadn’t asked him out, he told her, “Okay.”

They made a plan to see the new Tarantino movie, and as soon as he hung up he phoned Kimiko.

“Cool,” Kimiko replied when he told her about the conversation. “Are you excited?”

“Not exactly. I’m not sure if this is a friend-date or a
date
-date.”