Bound Together (74 page)
Authors: Marie Coulson
Slowing, we pulled up to
the sidewalk and Ollie killed the roar of the engine. He held out
his hand for me which I accepted without hesitation, thrilled at
the physical contact with him as I hauled myself off the bike.
Taking off my helmet, I stared at him as he slid his own over his
head and his long black locks fell around his gorgeous face. There
was no denying that the sexual chemistry between us was not dead
and my desire for him was also alive and kicking. My heart gave a
thud and placing my hand over it, I took a long, deep breath. It
was warning me and this time I was going to heed its plea. This was
a delicate situation and our entire friendship hung in the balance.
I needed to be very, very careful.
to him I couldn’t help but feel a rush of emotion for Ollie.
Sliding my hand over his, I smiled. “I missed you Ollie. Why
couldn’t you have just talked to me about things? I thought I was
never going to see you again. Devastated is not a strong enough
word for what I felt that morning and every time you rejected my
calls.”
He frowned and looked at
the ground. “I couldn’t say goodbye Layla. I laid there for two
hours just watching you sleep. For a moment I thought maybe we
could have made it, maybe you would choose me but as you lay there,
blissfully unaware of my thoughts you said his name. And I knew.
You weren’t ready and what I was asking of you wasn’t fair. I
couldn’t do it to you and I couldn’t do it to myself either. So I
left before you woke up. I know it was selfish and I hate myself
for what it did to you but it was self-preservation. The pure and
selfish protection of my own broken heart. But I am
sorry.”
He looked up and met my
gaze and I could see he was genuinely pained by what had happened
between us. “I understand Ollie but please, don’t cut me from your
life. I need you in my world. I must have called every day and sent
dozens of emails. We’d slept together and I woke alone and
abandoned. It isn’t really up there on my list of wonderful moments
this year.”
He nodded weakly. “I know
it was mean, cruel and totally unfair of me but you have to
understand, I didn’t have a choice Layla. I had to get some
distance between us. You needed to heal and I needed to try and get
over how I felt about you. But I couldn’t. I thought about you
every damn minute of every day. Do not, for one second, think I
didn’t care. Because I did, I do.”
Unable to form a coherent
sentence, I sat in silence staring at the night sky. Ollie didn’t
say a word either and I felt that everything was not yet said. I
had missed him so much, pined and longed for him to come back and
here he was. My world was back on its axis and spinning at the
speed of light. He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hand over his
eyes. “Layla, I still love you. I can’t shut it off. Being around
you is like all my dreams come true but I know that this, right
now, is just a single moment and once we get back on that bike it’s
over. You go back to your life and I go back to Utah, without you.
Back to broken hearts, painful memories and wishes that won’t come
true.”
I couldn’t bear the
thought of being without him again. “Then don’t go. Stay. Come back
to Long Beach. We miss you Ollie. I miss you.”
He shook his head
“There’s nothing left for me here now. My family is in Utah. Me and
my mom have finally got some kind of functional relationship and I
can’t turn my back on my brother. He’s just a kid.”
I knew a thousand reasons
why he should leave but one reason for sure why I needed him to
stay. “I need you in my life Ollie. Always. I think I love
you.”
His head snapped up and
he stared at me. My words hung in the air and I couldn’t quite
believe I had said them myself. Blinking rapidly, I felt the
thunder of my heart beneath my chest as it smugly hugged itself
with megaphone in hand shouting a massive I told you so at
me.
Well thanks for the
warning!
But I did love him and it
had taken me believing I had lost him to make me realize it. I was
in love with Ollie and here he was loving me back. Pressing his
hands behind my neck he pulled me to him as he closed the space
between us and kissed me deeply. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breath
as his mouth sealed over mine. His lip ring pressed against my
bottom lip and I could feel my heart pounding like a jackhammer.
His hands slid around my waist as we lowered ourselves to the
ground, laying there all tongues, lips and roaming hands. My
fingertips brushed against his waist band before skimming upwards
beneath his barely buttoned shirt. His perfectly sculpted abs
flexed and tightened beneath my palm and a thrill of excitement
shot through me. His own hand slid around my back and my vest
lifted slightly, exposing my bare skin as his palm pressed against
it. The sensation of his warm hands on my body ignited the
electricity that was running through my veins.
Rolling onto his back he
pulled away from me panting and breathless. I felt exactly the same
as I lay there gasping for air beside him. Leaning on his elbow he
smiled down at me and my pulse quickened at the sight of his trade
mark, smoldering, sexy, make your toes curl in ecstasy, Ollie
smile. “Wow. I’d almost forgotten how amazing that feels. I mean I
know it’s incredible but being able to touch you, hold you and kiss
you like that Layla, oh baby it’s a force of nature and I’m
powerless to control it. You have no idea how much I want to take
that further.”
I grinned and trailed my
fingers over his chest. “Why don’t you?”
Seizing my wrist he
kissed my palm and grazed his lips across my fingertips. “Because
we need to take a breath. You just told me you love me Layla. I’ve
waited almost a year to hear you say that and you have no idea how
happy it makes me feel.” There was a but there and I knew it.
Holding my breath I stared at him waiting for the dagger to plunge
into my chest.
“
But you still love
him.”
I opened my mouth to try
and reassure him but he pressed his lips against mine to silence
me.
Smiling, he gazed into my
eyes. “It’s ok. I get it. You can’t just turn off your emotions
Layla, I know, I tried. But I can’t fight for you and compete with
someone who isn’t even there. I know when you’re thinking about
him. You get distant and closed off because you feel guilty for
loving him. I get it. I don’t expect you to leap into my arms and
come away with me even if I desperately wish you
would.”
My insides twisted at his
words. I wished it wasn’t true and that I could tell him there was
only him, that he was the only one to ever hold my heart but I
couldn’t. It would have been a cruel lie. “Ollie, I don’t know what
to tell you. I don’t have an answer right now. I didn’t even know
how I truly felt about us till about five minutes ago. I don’t know
what to do, how to deal with this.” Brushing my cheek with his
thumb, he hushed me. “Nothing. You do nothing. You go back to
Pasadena for the summer and I head back to Utah. You need time to
figure out what you want Layla and you can’t do that with me around
too. Take time out. Think and when you’re ready, my offer still
stands. Come to Utah, live with me and you’ll make me the happiest
man in the world. But I want you to be happy too. I want you to be
sure that this, us, is what you really want because I cannot face
the heartache of losing you all over again.” I closed my eyes
tightly as a tension headache began to strike. Once again I was
faced with the same dilemma. Stay or move to a new state and be
with Ollie. I suddenly felt shaky as the headache paired with the
churning in my stomach overwhelmed me. I must have swooned because
Ollie immediately gripped hold of me and held me to
him.
“
Hey, you
ok?”
Shaking my head, I
regained my equilibrium and clambered to my feet.
Brushing myself off, I
stared out at the night sky overlooking the brightly lit streets of
Long Beach. This was my home and I had so much here that was worth
staying for. Taking my hand, Ollie pressed it to his lips. “Come
on, enough love dilemmas for one night I think. You have a party to
get back to and I have a set to play. It was part of my deal after
all.”
I gave him a puzzled
look. “I told Amy I was coming, that I needed to see you and
naturally I got a strict warning not to upset you. She promised me
some alone time with you as long as I promised to play at her
party. I had to tell Nick and Eric and I think they must have told
Mel because she didn’t seem surprised to see me at all. She and
Eric seemed very cozy though.” I let out a long sigh as we walked
back to the bike. “Yeah, they’re sleeping together. It’s awful.”
His eyebrows furrowed and I knew I was going to have to come clean.
Ollie could be trusted after all. “The thing is there’s someone
else that’s completely besotted with my best friend. In fact
totally head over feet in love with her.”
He chuckled.
“Who?”
Swallowing the lump in my
throat I stopped walking and faced him. “Amy.”
He almost choked on a
breath as he stood there coughing and spluttering. “What? You’re
kidding right. I mean seriously Layla who is it?”
I shook my head at him.
“I’m as serious as a heart attack. She told me a few weeks back.
She’s bisexual and her heart wants Mel. It’s been awful for her.
She’s so tormented and she has to deal with it every single
day.”
His mouth pressed into a
hard line and he gave me a rueful smile. “I know how she feels.
Loving someone that doesn’t love you back sucks ass. Maybe I should
talk to her.”
“
No you can’t let her
know that I told you she’d never forgive me for it. Please don’t
say anything Ollie.”
Pressing his lips to mine
he smiled. “Ok, I promise. You’re a great friend you know that? Me,
Amy and Mel, we’re lucky to have you looking out for us.” Pulling
me into a warm hug, he pressed his lips to my forehead.
“
I don’t know what to do
next Ollie. How do we go back to that party after everything that
just happened?”
“
It’ll be alright. We’ll
drink, laugh, play on stage and have a great time. And if it’s the
last time were together then at least we’ll go out with a
bang.”
A sharp pain stabbed
through my heart as his words left his lips.
The last time we’re together
. It was
a truly depressing thought and one I didn’t wish to dwell over.
Taking his hand in mine, we walked back to the Ducati, hopped on
and headed back to the party. My arms wrapped snuggly around him, I
didn’t want the ride back to end. I wanted to be trapped in that
moment forever without the burden of the decision I was going to
have to make. It weighed on me like a ton of bricks and I was
exhausted from hauling it around on my shoulders.
Pulling up in front of
the bar, Ollie held out his hand once more and helped me off the
bike. Taking off my helmet, I stared at him as he removed his.
Reaching for my hand he smiled.
“
Hey, stop it ok. This
sad face you keep making is killing me. We still have nine hours
until I have to head back. Let’s have some fun alright?” I nodded
weakly but the way I was feeling, fun was definitely not on my list
of priorities. Leading me through the doors, he entwined our
fingers together tightly. Eric spotted us from on stage and waved
us over. Glancing back at me, Ollie dragged me towards the stage
and stopped as we got to the bottom of the steps. “Do a song with
me?” The last time we had performed together was at the park during
winter break. It was the moment I knew I had to have him and that
giving us a chance was everything I wanted. Maybe I even loved him
back then. Giving him a quick peck on the cheek I agreed and
scanned the bar for my girls to come join us.
I spotted them at the bar
and from the look on Amy’s face they were exchanging harsh words.
Letting go of Ollie’s hand I nodded in their direction. “I better
go see what’s going on. Give me five minutes?”
Keeping his eyes fixed on
our friends he nodded and I made my way through the crowd to the
bar. I could hear Amy’s voice before I even got within three feet
of them and that was over the bustling crowd. “You have no idea do
you. You just run around, sleeping with anything in a pair of pants
with a pulse. I can’t believe you after everything he did to me.
You are such a slut!”
Mel’s face turned
thunderous as she prodded Amy in the chest. “I’m a slut? You want a
list of the guys you’ve banged since you got here? Here’s just a
few. Nick, Felix, Mike, Adrian, Greg behind the bar. Should I go
on?”
Pushing myself between
them, I held up my hands to each of them. “Whoa! Time out! What the
hell is going on?”
The two of them began
screeching abuse and accusations at each other and right into my
ears. “Stop! Both of you just shut up. Amy why the hell are you
calling her a slut? She’s your friend.”
“
She’s
sleeping with Eric
and
Nick!”
My mouth hit the ground
and I immediately stared at Mel. “Oh come on Layla, don’t look so
surprised. Besides you can’t exactly take the moral high ground
here. You screwed Jared when you were supposed to be with Ollie
remember?”
the sidewalk and Ollie killed the roar of the engine. He held out
his hand for me which I accepted without hesitation, thrilled at
the physical contact with him as I hauled myself off the bike.
Taking off my helmet, I stared at him as he slid his own over his
head and his long black locks fell around his gorgeous face. There
was no denying that the sexual chemistry between us was not dead
and my desire for him was also alive and kicking. My heart gave a
thud and placing my hand over it, I took a long, deep breath. It
was warning me and this time I was going to heed its plea. This was
a delicate situation and our entire friendship hung in the balance.
I needed to be very, very careful.
Chapter
46
Heart To
Heart
to him I couldn’t help but feel a rush of emotion for Ollie.
Sliding my hand over his, I smiled. “I missed you Ollie. Why
couldn’t you have just talked to me about things? I thought I was
never going to see you again. Devastated is not a strong enough
word for what I felt that morning and every time you rejected my
calls.”
He frowned and looked at
the ground. “I couldn’t say goodbye Layla. I laid there for two
hours just watching you sleep. For a moment I thought maybe we
could have made it, maybe you would choose me but as you lay there,
blissfully unaware of my thoughts you said his name. And I knew.
You weren’t ready and what I was asking of you wasn’t fair. I
couldn’t do it to you and I couldn’t do it to myself either. So I
left before you woke up. I know it was selfish and I hate myself
for what it did to you but it was self-preservation. The pure and
selfish protection of my own broken heart. But I am
sorry.”
He looked up and met my
gaze and I could see he was genuinely pained by what had happened
between us. “I understand Ollie but please, don’t cut me from your
life. I need you in my world. I must have called every day and sent
dozens of emails. We’d slept together and I woke alone and
abandoned. It isn’t really up there on my list of wonderful moments
this year.”
He nodded weakly. “I know
it was mean, cruel and totally unfair of me but you have to
understand, I didn’t have a choice Layla. I had to get some
distance between us. You needed to heal and I needed to try and get
over how I felt about you. But I couldn’t. I thought about you
every damn minute of every day. Do not, for one second, think I
didn’t care. Because I did, I do.”
Unable to form a coherent
sentence, I sat in silence staring at the night sky. Ollie didn’t
say a word either and I felt that everything was not yet said. I
had missed him so much, pined and longed for him to come back and
here he was. My world was back on its axis and spinning at the
speed of light. He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hand over his
eyes. “Layla, I still love you. I can’t shut it off. Being around
you is like all my dreams come true but I know that this, right
now, is just a single moment and once we get back on that bike it’s
over. You go back to your life and I go back to Utah, without you.
Back to broken hearts, painful memories and wishes that won’t come
true.”
I couldn’t bear the
thought of being without him again. “Then don’t go. Stay. Come back
to Long Beach. We miss you Ollie. I miss you.”
He shook his head
“There’s nothing left for me here now. My family is in Utah. Me and
my mom have finally got some kind of functional relationship and I
can’t turn my back on my brother. He’s just a kid.”
I knew a thousand reasons
why he should leave but one reason for sure why I needed him to
stay. “I need you in my life Ollie. Always. I think I love
you.”
His head snapped up and
he stared at me. My words hung in the air and I couldn’t quite
believe I had said them myself. Blinking rapidly, I felt the
thunder of my heart beneath my chest as it smugly hugged itself
with megaphone in hand shouting a massive I told you so at
me.
Well thanks for the
warning!
But I did love him and it
had taken me believing I had lost him to make me realize it. I was
in love with Ollie and here he was loving me back. Pressing his
hands behind my neck he pulled me to him as he closed the space
between us and kissed me deeply. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breath
as his mouth sealed over mine. His lip ring pressed against my
bottom lip and I could feel my heart pounding like a jackhammer.
His hands slid around my waist as we lowered ourselves to the
ground, laying there all tongues, lips and roaming hands. My
fingertips brushed against his waist band before skimming upwards
beneath his barely buttoned shirt. His perfectly sculpted abs
flexed and tightened beneath my palm and a thrill of excitement
shot through me. His own hand slid around my back and my vest
lifted slightly, exposing my bare skin as his palm pressed against
it. The sensation of his warm hands on my body ignited the
electricity that was running through my veins.
Rolling onto his back he
pulled away from me panting and breathless. I felt exactly the same
as I lay there gasping for air beside him. Leaning on his elbow he
smiled down at me and my pulse quickened at the sight of his trade
mark, smoldering, sexy, make your toes curl in ecstasy, Ollie
smile. “Wow. I’d almost forgotten how amazing that feels. I mean I
know it’s incredible but being able to touch you, hold you and kiss
you like that Layla, oh baby it’s a force of nature and I’m
powerless to control it. You have no idea how much I want to take
that further.”
I grinned and trailed my
fingers over his chest. “Why don’t you?”
Seizing my wrist he
kissed my palm and grazed his lips across my fingertips. “Because
we need to take a breath. You just told me you love me Layla. I’ve
waited almost a year to hear you say that and you have no idea how
happy it makes me feel.” There was a but there and I knew it.
Holding my breath I stared at him waiting for the dagger to plunge
into my chest.
“
But you still love
him.”
I opened my mouth to try
and reassure him but he pressed his lips against mine to silence
me.
Smiling, he gazed into my
eyes. “It’s ok. I get it. You can’t just turn off your emotions
Layla, I know, I tried. But I can’t fight for you and compete with
someone who isn’t even there. I know when you’re thinking about
him. You get distant and closed off because you feel guilty for
loving him. I get it. I don’t expect you to leap into my arms and
come away with me even if I desperately wish you
would.”
My insides twisted at his
words. I wished it wasn’t true and that I could tell him there was
only him, that he was the only one to ever hold my heart but I
couldn’t. It would have been a cruel lie. “Ollie, I don’t know what
to tell you. I don’t have an answer right now. I didn’t even know
how I truly felt about us till about five minutes ago. I don’t know
what to do, how to deal with this.” Brushing my cheek with his
thumb, he hushed me. “Nothing. You do nothing. You go back to
Pasadena for the summer and I head back to Utah. You need time to
figure out what you want Layla and you can’t do that with me around
too. Take time out. Think and when you’re ready, my offer still
stands. Come to Utah, live with me and you’ll make me the happiest
man in the world. But I want you to be happy too. I want you to be
sure that this, us, is what you really want because I cannot face
the heartache of losing you all over again.” I closed my eyes
tightly as a tension headache began to strike. Once again I was
faced with the same dilemma. Stay or move to a new state and be
with Ollie. I suddenly felt shaky as the headache paired with the
churning in my stomach overwhelmed me. I must have swooned because
Ollie immediately gripped hold of me and held me to
him.
“
Hey, you
ok?”
Shaking my head, I
regained my equilibrium and clambered to my feet.
Brushing myself off, I
stared out at the night sky overlooking the brightly lit streets of
Long Beach. This was my home and I had so much here that was worth
staying for. Taking my hand, Ollie pressed it to his lips. “Come
on, enough love dilemmas for one night I think. You have a party to
get back to and I have a set to play. It was part of my deal after
all.”
I gave him a puzzled
look. “I told Amy I was coming, that I needed to see you and
naturally I got a strict warning not to upset you. She promised me
some alone time with you as long as I promised to play at her
party. I had to tell Nick and Eric and I think they must have told
Mel because she didn’t seem surprised to see me at all. She and
Eric seemed very cozy though.” I let out a long sigh as we walked
back to the bike. “Yeah, they’re sleeping together. It’s awful.”
His eyebrows furrowed and I knew I was going to have to come clean.
Ollie could be trusted after all. “The thing is there’s someone
else that’s completely besotted with my best friend. In fact
totally head over feet in love with her.”
He chuckled.
“Who?”
Swallowing the lump in my
throat I stopped walking and faced him. “Amy.”
He almost choked on a
breath as he stood there coughing and spluttering. “What? You’re
kidding right. I mean seriously Layla who is it?”
I shook my head at him.
“I’m as serious as a heart attack. She told me a few weeks back.
She’s bisexual and her heart wants Mel. It’s been awful for her.
She’s so tormented and she has to deal with it every single
day.”
His mouth pressed into a
hard line and he gave me a rueful smile. “I know how she feels.
Loving someone that doesn’t love you back sucks ass. Maybe I should
talk to her.”
“
No you can’t let her
know that I told you she’d never forgive me for it. Please don’t
say anything Ollie.”
Pressing his lips to mine
he smiled. “Ok, I promise. You’re a great friend you know that? Me,
Amy and Mel, we’re lucky to have you looking out for us.” Pulling
me into a warm hug, he pressed his lips to my forehead.
“
I don’t know what to do
next Ollie. How do we go back to that party after everything that
just happened?”
“
It’ll be alright. We’ll
drink, laugh, play on stage and have a great time. And if it’s the
last time were together then at least we’ll go out with a
bang.”
A sharp pain stabbed
through my heart as his words left his lips.
The last time we’re together
. It was
a truly depressing thought and one I didn’t wish to dwell over.
Taking his hand in mine, we walked back to the Ducati, hopped on
and headed back to the party. My arms wrapped snuggly around him, I
didn’t want the ride back to end. I wanted to be trapped in that
moment forever without the burden of the decision I was going to
have to make. It weighed on me like a ton of bricks and I was
exhausted from hauling it around on my shoulders.
Pulling up in front of
the bar, Ollie held out his hand once more and helped me off the
bike. Taking off my helmet, I stared at him as he removed his.
Reaching for my hand he smiled.
“
Hey, stop it ok. This
sad face you keep making is killing me. We still have nine hours
until I have to head back. Let’s have some fun alright?” I nodded
weakly but the way I was feeling, fun was definitely not on my list
of priorities. Leading me through the doors, he entwined our
fingers together tightly. Eric spotted us from on stage and waved
us over. Glancing back at me, Ollie dragged me towards the stage
and stopped as we got to the bottom of the steps. “Do a song with
me?” The last time we had performed together was at the park during
winter break. It was the moment I knew I had to have him and that
giving us a chance was everything I wanted. Maybe I even loved him
back then. Giving him a quick peck on the cheek I agreed and
scanned the bar for my girls to come join us.
I spotted them at the bar
and from the look on Amy’s face they were exchanging harsh words.
Letting go of Ollie’s hand I nodded in their direction. “I better
go see what’s going on. Give me five minutes?”
Keeping his eyes fixed on
our friends he nodded and I made my way through the crowd to the
bar. I could hear Amy’s voice before I even got within three feet
of them and that was over the bustling crowd. “You have no idea do
you. You just run around, sleeping with anything in a pair of pants
with a pulse. I can’t believe you after everything he did to me.
You are such a slut!”
Mel’s face turned
thunderous as she prodded Amy in the chest. “I’m a slut? You want a
list of the guys you’ve banged since you got here? Here’s just a
few. Nick, Felix, Mike, Adrian, Greg behind the bar. Should I go
on?”
Pushing myself between
them, I held up my hands to each of them. “Whoa! Time out! What the
hell is going on?”
The two of them began
screeching abuse and accusations at each other and right into my
ears. “Stop! Both of you just shut up. Amy why the hell are you
calling her a slut? She’s your friend.”
“
She’s
sleeping with Eric
and
Nick!”
My mouth hit the ground
and I immediately stared at Mel. “Oh come on Layla, don’t look so
surprised. Besides you can’t exactly take the moral high ground
here. You screwed Jared when you were supposed to be with Ollie
remember?”
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