Bound to the Past (Starville Series Book 1) (25 page)

Jack grinned. “Iʼm great.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Youʼre the best pain-killer, sweetheart,” he joked with a yawn. “Howʼre
you
feeling?”

“Tired. And a little achy…”
In the most delicious of places
. This time she groaned in protest as he shrugged free of her embrace, turned on one side, and levered on his elbow to look at her.

“Sorry I hurt you. I tried to be careful, but―”

Sara pressed her fingers against his lips to stop him. “It was perfect.
You
were perfect.”

“I was rough. Shouldʼve been more careful.”

“It was awesome, Jack. Now, please, donʼt spoil everything by apologizing.”

“I wasnʼt sure Iʼd remember―”

She burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of that. “I believe you remembered pretty well.”

“Iʼll do better next time.”

“God help me, then!”

“Iʼll take it slower,” he continued, mostly to himself. Surprised by the gravity in his voice, Sara pulled slightly away.

“Wow. I never would have expected all these doubts from you, Turner.”

“Sorry. I know Iʼm acting like an idiot.” Jack drew a long breath as he played around with a strand of her hair. “I donʼt know, but…I suppose this is kind of weird
for me, you know. I mean, since I donʼt remember doing it before.”

Sara stared at him. Guilt took over the instant she realized that his insecurities were completely real and justified. She should have known. She should have understood his worries, instead of making fun of him and his discomfort. Yet the sudden realization that she was, in fact, the only woman he remembered ever making love to filled her heart with so much happiness that it was almost beyond bearing. Laying her hand on his cheek, she softly kissed his lips. “Iʼm sorry. Youʼre right, this
was
an important step for both of us, and I didnʼt mean to belittle it. Seriously, Jack, it was perfect.”

“Except for the last five minutes,” he said with a grimace. “I certainly hope this is not my usual behavior after sex.”

Just like that, Saraʼs smile died on her lips. She didnʼt want to think about his
usual behavior after sex
. She didnʼt want to picture him with all the other women heʼd bedded. Heck, she didnʼt even like that he had just described the most incredible and amazing experience of her life as just
sex
. Sadly, though, she knew that Jack had simply put what he felt into words. The bitter truth was, he had never promised her anything more than sex. He was attracted to her, and that attraction had led to the natural decision of sleeping together. They were both adults—two responsible adults who’d decided to sleep together and knew exactly what they were doing.
Sex.
Nothing else, just as heʼd said. No commitment. No strings attached.

So…why was she dying inside?

Thatʼs when reality kicked, slamming over her like an avalanche.
She really was in love him
. Sara didnʼt know how, didnʼt know when, but it had happened. Heaven help her, sheʼd fallen hopelessly in love with Jack Turner, and she was willing to pay the consequences.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said, closing her eyes to avoid his gaze.
I love you, dummy!

Jack frowned. Whatever Sara was thinking about was upsetting her, and the fact that she didnʼt want to talk to him about it upset him, too—more than he cared to admit. He didnʼt like knowing that she was keeping things from him. He hated being shut out of her thoughts, out of her heart.

Something heavy and painful constricted his chest so hard he squirmed uncomfortably against Sara. He felt restless and unsettled, an unfamiliar, strange sensation. This could only mean trouble. He didnʼt need to regain his memory to know it had never been like this with a woman. He
knew
heʼd never felt this way before Sara. The mere thought sucked his breath right out of his lungs.

He studied her quietly as she lay against the white wrinkled sheets, her eyes closed and her kiss-swollen lips lifted in a sweet half smile.
Shit
. What was it about this woman that always triggered such intense feelings and made emotions tear into him like this? He lay back down with a frown, trying to keep his feelings under control. But when Sara snuggled into him and slid an arm around his waist, that simple gesture had the impact of a blow to his heart.
Fuck
. He really was in trouble.

“So,” he said after clearing his throat, and still his voice sounded hoarse and strangled to his ears. “Tell me about the dumbass who said you werenʼt good at sex?”

Sara opened her eyes with an embarrassed smile. “He was my ex. Well…my ex-fiancé.”

Jackʼs eyes widened as he pulled away to give her a surprised look. “You were
engaged
?”

“Donʼt be so shocked, hon, itʼs not very flattening,” she said with a snort.

“Iʼm just a little surprised, I guess. I had no idea.”

“Yeah, well, it didnʼt last long.”

“Who was he?”

“His nameʼs Fabrice DuMont.”

“French?”

She chuckled at his tone. “Yes, French. I was living in Paris at the time.”

“Were you in love with him?” Jack asked, strangely disturbed at the idea. Hell, he was annoyed enough at the thought of Sara having a boyfriend—but a fiancé? It was a little too much to swallow.

“In hindsight, I realize I wasnʼt. But I was only nineteen at the time and believed I was. Although I think that it was more the idea of him that I loved.”

“So, what happened?”

She shrugged. “He was a young doctor working at my momʼs organization. Ambitious, charismatic, handsome. In short, he had me falling for him hard and fast once he decided he wanted me and started to court me.”

“Iʼm not sure I like that.”

His grimace made her chuckle again. “Believe me, it wasnʼt nearly as good as it sounds. To tell you the truth, he was a complete jerk, but as naïve and romantic as I was back then—”

“Back then?”

She swatted his arm playfully. “Shut up, or I wonʼt tell you anything else.”

“Sorry.”

“As I was saying, I felt flattered that a handsome man like him was interested in me. So we started dating, and when he proposed to me after a couple of months, I said yes. Okay, now, whatʼs that face for?” she asked him with a smile, noticing his strange expression.

“Nothing, just…wasnʼt it a little too soon?”

“I didnʼt think so. But just so you know, my mom agreed with you.”

Jack raised a brow. “She didnʼt approve of your engagement?”

“Not really. Remember I told you about my dad leaving us when I was five? Well, my mom never really got over it. At first she was devastated by his abandon, then suddenly she decided he wasnʼt worth it and threw herself into her career,” she explained, lost in her thoughts. “She taught me not to ever rely on men. How to do good for myself. So when Fabrice and I announced our engagement, she was a little disappointed, I guess. She would rather I followed her lead and devote myself to my career, instead of getting married.”

“But you didnʼt want to,” he finished for her, and Sara shook her head.

“Donʼt get me wrong, I do love my job, but I never thought it was all I wanted or needed. Ever since I was little, I always dreamed of falling in love, getting married, having a bunch of kids. You know, the whole nine yards.”

Yeah, Jack could see that. In fact, he had no difficulty imagining Sara pregnant with a beautiful, dark-haired, green-eyed baby. He swallowed hard and shook his head, crushing that thought.

“So, what happened between you and the dumbass?”

She shrugged. “Not much, really. He insisted on waiting until we were married to have sex. I thought it was so romantic at first, but two months before the date, I started getting cold feet,” she admitted. “I kept thinking,
What if I donʼt really love him? What if we find out too late that weʼre not compatible physically?
You know, stuff like that.”

Jack smiled that killer smile of his that never failed to make her insides curl. “I get the idea, yes.”

“The night of my twentieth birthday, I decided I’d had enough of wondering and freaking out. So we did it and…well, it was a disaster.” She covered her face with both hands, embarrassed. “Fabrice tried to brush the whole thing off. He said that the first time always sucked, that it was a matter of practice, that things would get better after the wedding, blah blah blah. Needless to say, when we tried again, it was even worse than the first time. My doubts were raging at that point. The way he touched me, the way he made me feel…” She shook her head with a shudder. “A week later, I decided we needed to talk―
really
talk―about it and went to his office. His secretary told me he was alone, so I walked right in.”

“But he wasnʼt alone?” Jack guessed with a frown.

“No, no, he was. Only, he was on the phone. With his best friend. Laughing about me.”

“What?” His eyes widened, and the sheer shock on his face made her laugh again.

“Yep. He was telling him all about how he couldnʼt wait for this whole marriage thing to be done and over with. Basically, from what I gathered, he only wanted to marry ‘the bossʼs daughterʼ in order to get visibility within the organization. You know, get in everybodyʼs good graces, hopefully advance his position,” she concluded matter-of-factly. An awkward silence followed. Sara counted off at least thirty-five agonizing seconds during which all Jack did was gape at her. “Thatʼs it.”

“Sweetheart, I donʼt even know what to say.” He shook his head. “I hope you know that
he
was the problem. Not you.”

Sara gave a little smile. “I do now, yes. But you know what? I guess the saddest thing is that I wasnʼt at all crushed—not even slightly hurt—by his deception. In fact, I was relieved. I walked out of his office feeling incredibly light, as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. If anything, I was happy Iʼd learned the truth before it was too late. And I even managed to save my pride.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Fabrice never even saw me walk into his office, because he was sitting in his chair with his back to me. So I just walked out and left him a note saying I realized that I never loved him and that the wedding was off. The next morning, I packed my bags and took the first flight to the U.S.”

“Is that when you moved to Texas?”

Sara nodded. “I was granted a scholarship at the University of Texas at Dallas to complete my Literary Studies, so I decided to accept it. At first I got myself an apartment in Dallas, but when I found Carsonʼs ranch online, I knew that was exactly where I wanted to be. The rest is history. Thank God I never saw Fabrice again.”

“What about your mom? Did you tell her what happened?”

“Nah. I mean, she knows something was wrong but never asked me about it. She was just relieved that I never married him. But the moment I left his office, I told myself that maybe she was right about men―they really were selfish, opportunistic, unreliable. I promised myself that never, ever again would I throw myself into another relationship unless I was one hundred percent comfortable with a man. And I never was…” She laid a hand on his cheek. “Until you.”

“Hmm.” Jack turned his head into her hand and kissed her palm. “Nothing like a suspected murderer to restore your trust in men, right?”

Sara swatted his arm. “I told you already, and Iʼll tell you again: Thereʼs way more to you than that, Jack Turner.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“Iʼm serious! Youʼve been through so much hell yet found the strength to get back on your feet with your head held high, and you remained a sensitive, noble-hearted man despite it all. Shut up, Iʼm not done yet,” she cut him off when he opened his mouth to protest. “Youʼre a man who doesnʼt need to rely on somebody else for money or success―and that makes you a man I can trust and respect.”
And love.
“There, now Iʼm done. Happy?”

He gave her the longest, most intense look. “Well, hell. Thank you.”

Sensing his embarrassment, Sara decided itʼd be wise to change the subject. “Of course, I should also mention that you have a body to die for,” she said, lifting herself up on one elbow and running her fingertips across his chest. Her diversion strategy seemed to work, because a predatory spark flashed in his eyes.

“I thought you were tired.”

“Priorities, my dear,” Sara teased, sliding her hand down to trace his defined abs, loving the way his muscles flexed and tightened immediately under her light touch. He swallowed hard as she kissed his chest. Her fingertips trailed across the delineated ridges of his abs, then slid slowly down his body to study every inch of his lean waistline, dip into his navel. With deliberate, maddening care, she kept moving her hand lower and lower. He gasped and closed his eyes as her hand finally wrapped around him. “Not bad, Turner.”

Eyes squeezed shut, Jack had to take a deep breath to regain control. “Keep doing that and youʼll have a replay of what just happened.”

A feigned horrified expression appeared on Saraʼs face. “Just tell me youʼre not about to apologize again.”

“Hell, no.” His grin was so sexy that something wild stirred violently inside her stomach. The next thing she knew, he grabbed her around her waist and flipped her over beneath him. “I have much better ideas about what to do with you,” he murmured, sliding slowly down the length of her body.

Chapter 19

Sara gazed at the rain banging against the window as she brought a handful of popcorn to her mouth, then glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Itʼs almost six in the afternoon. Are you sure you donʼt want to leave this room at all?”

Lying beside her, Jack dragged his eyes away from the TV and adjusted lazily against the propped-up pillows. “Positive.”

“Donʼt you think itʼs indecent that weʼve spent the whole day in bed?”

“Absolutely.” A smirk spread across his lips. “The thing is, I like you indecent. In fact, Iʼm tempted to keep you in this room all week and make you a lot more indecent. Depraved, even.”

A piece of popcorn landed right on top of his head. “Jack Turner, youʼre shameless!”