Bound to the Past (Starville Series Book 1) (18 page)

Sara didnʼt answer. Her mind was racing at five hundred miles an hour. She rose to her feet and started buttoning her blouse with shaky hands, her throat tight with suppressed tears. Oh gosh, this was so embarrassing! Apparently Jack had misunderstood her, because sheʼd had no intention whatsoever of stopping him…which only made her feel more ashamed of herself. How could she do that―how could she lose control like that with a stranger? Because, even though her heart screamed otherwise, Jack was still a stranger to her. A dangerous stranger whoʼd stormed into her life with the force of a hurricane, turning it completely upside down in just a few days.

Jack slowly raised his head to look at her, his expression even more pained than hers. “Iʼm sorry,” he said again.

Sara avoided his gaze, wishing the ground would just hurry and swallow her. “Itʼs okay.”

“I donʼt know what got into me.”

“Donʼt worry about it.”

“I shouldnʼt have―”

“Oh, for Godʼs sake!” she burst out, exasperated. “Stop apologizing, will you? Itʼs no secret that Iʼm attracted to you, and we were both on this couch, so quit being so contrite.”

Jack blinked at her admission but didnʼt comment. It was all she could do not to blush like a schoolgirl as he kept staring at her in maddening silence. What felt like a lifetime later, he shook his head.

“Sara, this…
thing
between us…it has to stop.”

She knew he would say it, and still his words turned her heart into a block of ice. “Does it?”

“Youʼve got to be kidding me.” Jack smiled wryly. “Sweetheart, look at you: Youʼre a beautiful, smart, caring woman. You like helping others—which Iʼm very grateful for—and everybody loves and respects you. Now, look at me: Iʼm an ex-con. A suspected murderer. A man people hate so much that they wish me dead. Quite the mismatch, huh?”

Sara swallowed hard. “Thereʼs more to you than that, you know.” Amazingly, she managed to hold his gaze even as he raised a questioning brow. “Iʼm looking at you, Jack, and what I see is an incredibly bright, sensitive man. A man who doesnʼt think twice before putting othersʼ best interests before his own, just as youʼre doing right now. As you can see, weʼre not that different after all.”

Another awkward silence followed her words. Too embarrassed to keep looking at him, she dropped her gaze and kept her eyes glued to the ground. She was quite sure sheʼd nearly memorized every little scratch in the hardwood floor when Jackʼs husky voice finally broke the silence. “Only yours, Sara.”

Her head snapped up. “Huh?”

“I only put
your
best interests before mine. I donʼt give a damn about anyone elseʼs.”

Crap
. Her heart leaped so hard in her chest her ribs ached. She was about to start jumping up and down euphorically when Jack added, “Which is why nothing can happen between us.” He pushed a hand through his hair and sighed. “I like you, Sara. I really do. But my life is so damn complicated right now, and the last thing I need is to throw sex in the mix.”

Sara slumped back onto the couch like a deflated balloon. Sex
.
Duh
. What the heck was she expecting, anyway? A declaration of forever love? Of course it was all about sex for Jack. No promises, no strings. Mindless, uncommitted sex—thatʼs what he knew and wanted. But Sara couldnʼt,
wouldnʼt
settle for that. She never had before and definitely wasnʼt going to start now. If anything, hearing the word from him seemed to help put things in perspective.

“You’re right,” she murmured. “That would be the dumbest thing to do.”

Jack gave her another long stare. Nodding, he leaned back against the couch. “I think itʼd be best if we were just friends.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Sara forced a smile.
Friends.
She looked away and willed her hands not to tremble as she clasped them tightly together.

“Do you, um, still want to watch that movie?”

Sheʼd much rather run away and disappear from the face of the Earth, but once again she made herself nod. The truth was, she wasnʼt sure how to behave around him anymore. They had just agreed to be friends, and she knew it was the right decision. And yet. Yet she still wanted him. No, scratch that—she
needed
him. Even now, as they were sitting peacefully on the couch, she found it impossible to pretend that his presence didnʼt affect her. The heat radiating from his body made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside; the faint scent of his cologne, combined with the distinctive, masculine smell of his skin, was making her a bit light-headed.

One of the cats, Louise, came out of the kitchen and headed toward the couch. In one smooth jump, she landed right on Jackʼs lap, one of her front paws stretching and resting on his thigh. As he stroked her absently, she began to purr.

Lucky little thing.
Sara squirmed in her seat and snuck a cautious look at Jack. He appeared relaxed sitting like that, his long legs stretched out in front of him. His frown, however, gave him away. Boy, she was dying to put her head on his broad chest and slide an arm around his waist. How she wished she could comfort him, kiss his troubles away! If only would he let her love him, she…

Sara cursed herself another million times. She was
not
in love with Jack. It was ridiculous to even think it. It was absurd. Impossible. She barely knew him, and love needed time to develop and grow. Love needed trust, commitment, and solid foundations. Why, yes, he was sexy as hell and kissed like heaven, and she was very, very attracted to him. So what? That was it. Period.

Chapter 14

“Max? Do you have a minute?”

The sheriff raised his eyes from the papers he was reading and gave Charlene a surprised look. “Lene, hi! What brings you here?”

“I need to talk to you. I saw Brent and Nicky leave the office, and I figured now would be a good time.”

He quirked a brow. “Sure, take a seat. Something wrong?”

“Jack.” Charlene sat on the edge of one of the leather chairs by his desk. “I don’t like that he’s back.”

“Lene―’”

She shook her head. “I’m worried, Max. I have this bad feeling…like something terrible is about to happen.”

“Look, you need to calm down. Iʼll keep an eye on Turner. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I don’t know about that.” She dropped her gaze to the desk and drew in breath before raising it back to him. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

Max stiffened and leaned forward across his desk. “What?”

“Promise you won’t get mad.”

“Just tell me, for God’s sake! What the hell did you do?”

Charlene bit her lips. Her hands twisted nervously in her lap. “I…went to visit Jack in jail once. It was a couple of years after his arrest, when the trial was still ongoing.” Her nerves were so tense that she jumped as the sheriff’s fist slammed against the hard top of the desk.

“Are you crazy? What in the world were you thinking?”

Her eyes filled with tears. “What was I supposed to do? I did care for the guy, you know! I thought he was going to get sentenced to death or something. I wanted to see him one last time!”

He mumbled a curse, then leaned back with a heavy sigh. “And?”

“And I wish I didnʼt. It was scary, Max. Jack was furious―with me, with you, with everyone in Starville. He said that we didnʼt believe him, that we all abandoned him. He said—” She swallowed hard. “He said heʼd never forgive our betrayal. That one day we would pay for it. I donʼt know what he meant, and I didnʼt stick around long enough to ask him, but it freaked me out. You should have seen the look in his eyes. Iʼd never seen him like that before.”

Max rubbed a hand on his face. “Shit.”

“Iʼm scared. What if thatʼs why heʼs back to take his revenge on us? What am I gonna do?”

“Nothing. You will do absolutely nothing.”

“But—”

“But nothing.” Max inhaled sharply. “Does Layla know about this?”

“I never told anyone.”

“Good. Let me deal with the whole thing. Iʼll take care of Turner.”

A long chill ran up Charleneʼs spine. “W-whatʼs that supposed to mean?”

Something flashed across the sheriffʼs pale blue eyes―something dark and dangerous that made her avert her gaze. “He should never have come back here. I will not let him bring back the past. I will not let him destroy the peace this town has so painfully achieved.”

The lump in Charleneʼs throat traveled up, and she struggled not to cry. “Well, for all we know, Jack might have just talked out of anger and resentment that day in jail,” she murmured tentatively. “He might not have meant a single word. We still don’t know why he came back, maybe he just felt the need to return to his roots or something.”

“Right,” He scoffed. “Come on, Lene, youʼre not
that
dumb. You know as much as I do that there must be a reason for his return. A damn good reason.”

“I know,” she admitted with a sigh. “He came to The Cove to talk to me the other day, and… You know Jack. Heʼs not stupid. Whether he truly doesnʼt remember anything or is faking amnesia, heʼs looking for answers and heʼs not going to give up; heʼs going to get to the bottom of this.”

The sheriff shook his head. “I told you, Iʼll take care of everything, so try to stay calm. The last thing we need right now is for people in Starville to panic and give even more attention to Turner. Okay?”

Charlene nodded reluctantly. “Okay.”

“Just keep away from him, and everything will be fine.”

“Iʼm afraid it wonʼt be so easy.” She took another deep breath, then raised her chin and looked him straight in the eye. “Max, I want Jack back.”

Chapter 15

I crossed the living room, trying not to stare at the coffee table. As always, though, my eyes seemed to fall on it of their own volition. I couldnʼt stop thinking about the gun resting in that drawer. A million questions kept racing through my mind.

Why had he bought it? Where? How?

And most important… Was he planning to use it?

Sara absently fumbled for her cell phone as it buzzed on the desk, but didnʼt tear her eyes off the computer screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, kid!”

A big smile spread across her face. “Carson! Ohmygosh, Iʼm so happy you called!”

“Man, do I feel loved.” She heard his chuckle on the other end of the line. “I thought Iʼd check on you to see how itʼs going with your tall-dark-and-handsome over there.”

“Meh. For one, heʼs
not
mine―which means itʼs not going so well, Iʼm afraid.”

“Do I need to come to town and kick this guyʼs ass or something?”

“God, no! Heʼs had enough of that, believe me.” A long sigh escaped from her mouth. “But Iʼm in trouble, Cars. Iʼm pretty sure Iʼm falling for him. Hard.”

There was a muffled thud on the other end, followed by dead silence. “Carson? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I just…needed to sit down. Crap, kid, you need to warn me before blurting stuff like that!”

Sara smiled faintly. “Sorry.”

“Now, go get yourself a beer, get comfortable, and tell me everything about these wild feelings of yours.”

That made her chuckle. “I donʼt need the beer, thanks. And thereʼs not much to tell, really.”

“How does
he
feel about you?”

“I have no idea.” She drew in a heavy breath. “I know he cares for me. And heʼs über-protective of me.”

“I like that. Now get to the juicy stuff.”

“Thatʼs the thing, Cars…there is none. I mean, we did kiss a few times, and I can tell heʼs attracted to me. But sometimes I canʼt help but wonder if he might be mistaking his gratitude toward me for attraction.”

Carson was quiet for a few moments. “Why would you think that?”

Sara scoffed a nervous chuckle. “Well, itʼs hard not to. I know for sure that under normal circumstances he wouldn’t give me a second look. In fact, the night we met―before his accident―he hardly even gave me a
first
look.” Not to mention he had turned down her invitation for ice cream and drinks. But that thought was too depressing to dwell on. “The truth is, the guy is way out of my league. And Iʼm not just talking about his looks.” Which, of course, were also
waaay
out of her league.

“Don’t talk like that, kid.”

“Itʼs true! Jack is so…intense. Brooding. He keeps to himself, and yes, I understand how his dark attitude might make people nervous. But I know he would never hurt me. Heʼs sensitive. Sweet, in a gruff way. And his eyes…they show his soul. He feels so much, Carson, and it drives me nuts to see how he keeps everything bottled up inside. He guards his emotions and protects them so carefully. Itʼs like thereʼs a depth to him that he doesnʼt allow anyone to reach.” She shook her head. “But I know itʼs there, and Iʼm desperate to get to it. There. Thatʼs my sad story.”

He whistled. “Holy crap, kid.”

“I know. You think Iʼm crazy, donʼt you?”

“A little. But isnʼt love supposed to be crazy?”

“I guess.” Sara heaved a dramatic sigh. Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Wait a minute! I did
not
say a word about love!”

Carson laughed. “You didnʼt have to.”

“No way.” Sara shook her head frantically. “No, no, I canʼt be in love with Jack… Can I? I mean, we just met and stuff!”

“Sounds to me like you do have it pretty bad.”

“Oh, God.” She slumped in her chair. “This canʼt be happening. Itʼs a disaster. Iʼm using him for my book, for heavenʼs sake! And heʼs going back to Chicago at the end of the summer! Oh, man! What in the world am I going to do?”

“Donʼt overthink it. Just relax and take one day at the time.”

One day at the time
. Sounded wise. Probably too wise for her. Sara sighed again. “What if I canʼt?”

“Then pack your bags and come stay at the ranch for a while,” he said with no hesitation. “Too bad youʼre not going to do it, are you?”

“Not right now, Cars. Love or no love, I want to be with Jack as long as I can. And I have no idea how long thatʼs going to be.”

Several moments of silence followed. Carson whistled. “Wow. I really canʼt wait to meet this mysterious, brooding hunk of yours.”