Bound by Trust (3 page)

Rendered
speechless, she held her breath as the realization that she’d unknowingly
screwed her neighbor began to take root. Despite her promise to not feel
anything for him after wondering where he was all weekend, she found herself
attracted to him all over again. She made a quick mental inventory of why she
shouldn’t be, but she fell into a trance over his eyes, and muscles, and voice
anyway. His occupation was something CeCe had conveniently left out of her
descriptions of him. All Rangers wanted to do was gallantly march off to war,
she couldn’t imagine what a Marine might be like. All that devil dog and
Ooh-Rah crap. If his finesse for fighting was anything like his finesse for
making love, she was surprised he wasn’t off killing something right that
moment. He needed to go back across the road and stay there. Great sex or not,
they couldn’t go there again, and she had her new strict no relationships
policy to adhere to.

*
* * *

Rafe
swallowed hard, trying to formulate the next thing to say to her. He couldn’t
stop looking at her, even though he now knew she was a married woman. Two cars
had pulled in. She’d been driving one and a man drove the other. Her husband
was somewhere inside. Coveting his neighbor’s wife wasn’t a good way to start
what he had hoped would be a friendly relationship. And they had gone just a
smidge past coveting already. Married women were definitely not part of his
repertoire of female companions and he hadn’t even bothered asking her if she
was Friday night. He’s just assumed no ring meant no husband. He couldn’t deny
he was still taken aback by how beautiful she was, and even more so in the
light of day. Her long dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and not an
ounce of make-up covered her striking features, the only flaw being the dark
circles under her eyes. Maybe if he were around to hold her at night, they
would disappear.

She’s your neighbor’s
wife, stupid.

“So,
do you have a name?” He wondered if she would ever move or speak. She was
apparently as stunned as he was.

“Sorry,
Madi. Melbourne.”

“So,
was it the welcome wagon?” Jared joined her at the door and gave Rafe the once-over.
“What no band?” He chuckled and stepped out. “I’m Jared Collins, and you are?”

“Rafe
McCarthy. I live across the road.” Rafe finally managed to avert his eyes.
“It’s good to meet you. Thought you might like a cold one after a long drive.”
Two last names and Collins wasn’t wearing a wedding band.
Odd.
Didn’t look like he was the husband after all.

“Sounds
good.” Jared took one of the beers and moved toward the edge of the porch. “We
can sit out here, no furniture yet.” He sat on the slick, faded boards and dangled
his legs off the edge.

Rafe
walked over and sat opposite him leaning his back against a support post. “So,
are you transferring in? Taking your rotation on the drill field?”

“No,
thankfully. I’m headed back to Fort Campbell in a few days. I’m just here getting
Madi settled in.”

Nothing
was adding up so far in Rafe’s mind. Two names, no rings, and he wasn’t
staying. Was she spoken for or not? And how could he find out without outright
asking and making an ass of himself. Maybe Jared was her boyfriend. But that
didn’t make sense either; he had left with someone else from the club. They
didn’t look like the type to share, but it wasn’t past imagining. Some people
were into kinky stuff.

Madi
watched the two men bond from the door and slowly came back to her senses. If
she remembered correctly, not only had CeCe been enamored by him, she had
mentioned a bevy of young and gorgeous women who came and went from across the
way. Donna had been right, he did make the rounds. Now she’d had her turn with
him and would have to live with him being right next door like the forbidden
fruit.

She
reached down and picked up the last bottle Rafe had set on the porch for her.
Twisting the cap, she sent a hiss into the air and sat on the top step, taking
a pull. She tried to avoid making eye contact with him and just listen to the
two of them conversing. Halfway through her beer he slid off the porch and
stretched.

“Well,
I guess I’ll head back across the road. My mares need fed.” He started to
leave.

She
let herself look at him again and her breath caught. He was staring at her and
a surge of warmth overtook her.

“You
know, I was thinking of going to pick up a pizza. Maybe you could come back
over…”
What am I doing? What happened to
not getting involved?

Rafe
looked long and hard into her eyes.

“I
don’t want to impose.” He turned and started down the driveway.

“You
wouldn’t be imposing; it’s just a pizza for crying out loud.” Madi followed
after him across the slippery rutted road like a lovesick girl trying to catch
the attention of the quarterback.

“What
would your boyfriend think about that or what happened at the club?” He whirled
to face her and nearly knocked her down as she raced to catch up. When she ran
right into his hard chest, he was forced to grab her by the arm to prevent her
from landing on her ass in the mud.

My boyfriend?
Her gut clenched and her color left
her. Looking up, she saw his eyes held less of the interest they had earlier
and more disdain. He thought she was a cheater. Why wouldn’t he? It did look
pretty bad. She gave herself to him freely one night and showed up the
following week with another man in tow. But, then again, he was being
presumptive and should have asked if he was curious, instead of accusing her of
something she wouldn’t do in a million years. Strangely enough, as mad as it
made her, it also hurt her feelings.

She
jerked her arm free, turned on the heel of her loafer, and hurried back across
the mucky path, chastising herself for ever having thought she could do
something like have casual sex with a perfect stranger. Now he thought she was
just another camp tramp. How degrading.

“Madi?
Are you okay?” Jared watched as she went in the house and come back out with
her purse. “What did he say to you?”

“I’m
fine, Jared. He didn’t say anything.” She opened her car door. “I just had a
moment that’s all. It’s been a long day. I’m going to run in town and get that
pizza. Maybe you could drag our stuff in while I’m gone and you can have the
bathroom all to yourself for a while.”

He
knew she was lying. Maybe her going to town wouldn’t be a bad thing. That would
give him a chance to talk to Rafe alone. Just as soon as she left the driveway,
he headed over to her new neighbor’s. He’d said he needed to feed his horses,
so he rounded the corner of the house to the barn, where he was greeted with a
low growl.

Hearing
the growl turn into sharp barks, Rafe put the feed bucket down and stepped out
into the backyard. Jared was standing with his hand out, trying to convince his
German shepherd, Gretchen, that he wasn’t a threat.

“Gretchen,
easy, girl.” Rafe squatted and called the dog to him, allowing Jared to come
closer. “What do you need, Collins?”

“Well,
I was just wondering what the hell you did to put Madi into such a tailspin.
She’s upset and I don’t like it.”

“I
may have alluded to the fact that being in a relationship and being a flirt
don’t mix. No offense, you two can do anything you want, but I’m not into
sharing. And I wouldn’t take my girlfriend being too friendly with the neighbor
as well as you apparently are capable of.” He stood and gave Gretchen a look
that caused her to lay beside him with her head on her feet.

“Flirt?
Wait a minute, just what the hell do you think is going on? She’s just trying
to start over, and she’s always been an outgoing person. She tries to make
friends everywhere she goes.”

Little do you know how
friendly she really is.
“Starting
over, huh? Starting over from what?”

“Madi’s
a war widow,” he spat out defensively.

Rafe
ran a hand down his face.
Damn.
Could
he have been any bigger an ass? That had certainly never crossed his mind.
Being at a training installation for almost three years had dulled his
awareness that his brothers in arms were still fighting the war. Without the
daily death toll on the local news everyday, it was easy to forget that women
were still being made into widows on a regular basis. He’d managed to insult
her before he even gave her a chance to explain her situation to him. Not that
it should have been any of his business. And he’d managed to rip a scab off her
wound in the process by accusing her of being a cheat.

“He
was Airborne too, I take it?” Rafe finally answered.

“Yeah,
he was. He was killed in Afghanistan back in the fall.” Jared hesitated, then
continued. “I was his best friend. Was. That’s another story, but I can tell
you this, I’m nothing more to Madi than her friend. So if you thought she was
doing something inappropriate to us, you were wrong.” Jared hesitated in asking
him for help. “I’ll be gone come Friday and she needs someone to keep an eye
out. It seems reasonable enough that being her neighbor you’d check on her once
in a while. And you’d probably understand her situation better than most.”

He
didn’t know if he could trust Rafe to keep an eye on Madi without making
advances, he’d seen the look in his eyes when he stared at her. The same look
that half of Gage’s unit had when they saw her. He wasn’t even sure there
wasn’t something already brewing between the two of them. She’d refused to talk
about what they’d been doing on the patio for so long Friday night. But one
thing he did know, she needed a friend, and denying her that would keep her
from adjusting, and that wasn’t good either. While it was true she had her
mother and sister and Donna, she needed more than that and someone that had
some grasp on what she’d been through.

Rafe
pondered Jared’s proposition for a moment. “I can do that, if she’ll even speak
to me again.”

Rafe
had done four back to backs before being assigned to the schoolhouse as an
instructor. The first tour was the worst for his battalion. Wives suffered more
than anyone, and when their man didn’t come home at all, it was devastating.

All
the while he finished his feeding, he admonished himself for being so quick to
judge. He supposed it came from seeing the cheating so much, the Marine Corps
had the highest rate of divorces in the military. Maybe that was why he’d
failed to commit to just one woman yet and considered married women taboo.

Chapter 3

Just
who the hell did that arrogant ass Marine think he was, anyway? She’d heard
they were that way—overassuming, cocky, and all of them thought they were God’s
gift to women. Well, the gift part she now had a better understanding of, but
that didn’t make up for the unfeeling, cold, and mean she could now add to the
list. Hoping she didn’t see him again, she just wanted to get back, eat, take a
shower, and crawl into her sleeping bag. Tomorrow would be another long day and
then all the work that needed doing would start.

She
sat with Jared on the porch and ate, watching the sun begin its descent.
Something about it triggered a memory of how peaceful it was sitting on the
creek behind the house as a child, when she used to spend the night with CeCe.
The suffocating humidity would ease, night sounds would begin, and eventually
the stars would dot the sky. Maybe being here, where everything was quieter,
and without the constant reminder of her tethered life as an Army wife, she
could begin to appreciate those things again, and get on with her life.

“You
know,” she said, getting up, “I think I’ll take a walk.”

“Do
you want me to go with you?” Jared started up.

“No,
I’ll be fine. I’m going down to the creek for a while.” With that, she walked
toward the field behind the house and started down a path cut through the
middle of it.

*
* * *

With
the sun hanging low in a kaleidoscope of hazy orange and pink, Rafe made his
way down the path toward the creek. When he’d returned to talk to Madi, Jared
had informed him she was gone on a walk to the creek. He was familiar with the
way there, CeCe had let him use her creek access for fishing, but he did more
sleeping and thinking than anything else while he was there.

When
he found her, she was sitting against a cottonwood with her legs drawn up,
hugging them with her head on her knees. He heard her sniffling and thought
perhaps now wasn’t as good a time for this as he and Jared had thought. Maybe
this was one of those times she needed her space to grieve. Then an overwhelming
desire to comfort her overcame him, and he wondered what caused it and what to
do about it. The urge to cradle her in his arms was nearly more than he could
deny himself.

She
must have sensed she was no longer alone, because she turned and looked at him
with hollow eyes filled with unspent tears. The sparkle he’d first been attracted
to was gone, and he knew it was his fault it was so.

“What
do you want?” she said flatly.

“I
came to apologize.” He walked over and squatted down beside her. Fresh air,
sunshine, and pure femininity emanated from her. Now that he knew she wasn’t taken,
the consuming desire he’d felt for her all weekend was reawakened and
circulated through him. “Your friend Jared explained to me how wrong I was.”

“What
exactly did he tell you?”

She
could smell him as well. He’d had a shower and the clean smell of his soap and
after shave assaulted her senses and sent her reeling. It was pronounced and
raw, or maybe she was just hypersensitive to it. The effect it was having on
her further drove the anger she felt toward him. She didn’t want to feel the
attraction to him that overwhelmed her, and now that she knew what it could
lead to, she certainly didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“He
told me about your husband and that there isn’t anything between the two of
you. I was crass, and I assumed way too much. I’m sorry, for your loss, and the
way I acted. But I’m not sorry for what happened Friday night. I haven’t been
able to get you off my mind since then.”

He
was too close, the heat she’d felt earlier came back. It engulfed her and made
her ashamed to be a woman. She needed to be away from him before she thought
twice about giving in to her carnal desires despite the hate welling up inside
her. Shamefully, she wanted to let him comfort her, to let him take her in his
arms and run his hands over her and make her forget how upside down her world
really was.

“Well,
you’ll just have to because that was a one-time thing. I’m not in the market
for a relationship, and from what I’ve heard about you, you aren’t either, so
we should just try to get past it and move on. Now, please forgive me for being
rude, but I need to go back.” She rose to leave. “My things will be here
tomorrow and I need to rest before then.”

She
turned to go, but he caught her by the wrist and pulled her back. “I’m not the
enemy, Madi, and I don’t think we can get past it. Don’t tell me you didn’t
feel what I did.” He watched her lips quiver wanting nothing more than to
possess them and taste her again.

“Really?
Not the enemy? What are you then?” Her heart raced at the pressure and heat of
his fingers on her bare flesh. He was right; she did feel it, no matter how
much she wanted to deny it. “I’m not so sure you’re a friend, either.”

His
lips taunted her as she remembered how they had seared her skin, and a renewed
sense of need swept between her legs. How could she hate someone so much for
hurting her and at the same time want to tear her clothes off and let him have
his way with her?

Before
she could think any further and give him an answer, he took her head in his
hands and his mouth descended on hers. At first he just brushed her lips, then
he pulled back and looked into her eyes. When she didn’t protest he landed on
them again, teasing them with his tongue and prying them open. He tasted of
mint and hops, and he was warm and inviting. He kissed her so gently, running
his tongue along hers, she thought for a moment she was dreaming it from
wanting him so much. Willingly she let him in and caressed him back. He
deepened the kiss and she shuddered, affirming she sensed whatever it was
happening between them. She put her palms on his chest, pulled loose, and
pushed him back.

“Don’t
ever do that again.” She spun around and started back up the hill.

“Don’t
try to tell me you didn’t enjoy that.” He caught up with her and took her by
the arm again.

“Whether
I did or didn’t isn’t relevant. It can’t happen again. Now let go of me and
leave me alone.”

He
watched her disappear over the ridge and wondered what it was about her that
made him think with only a couple of his brain cells at once. What really
puzzled him was that her rejection bothered him. He could have any one of
several women at his beck and call, but he had to want the one who didn’t want
him back.

*
* * *

A
moving truck was in Madi’s driveway when Rafe came in from work the next
evening. Her whole life with someone was in the back of that truck and now it
was hers alone. Something in him wanted to go over there and help, but the
memory of her eyes when they’d parted last night kept him from it. He understood
why she was still angry with him. He’d hurt her, however unintentional it had
been. And whatever it was that made him want her so damn bad was past his
understanding, and he’d been dwelling on it all day. To the point, in fact,
that his fellow Marines had asked him repeatedly if he felt okay.

He
took a seat on his porch and watched as the movers dragged boxes and furniture
off the truck for another two hours. Finally, they struggled to get the last
crate off. What was in the immense box Rafe could only speculate. They took it
up the steps across the wraparound porch and through the French doors that
faced his house. They pried the slats back one at a time finally revealing
a…baby grand piano? So, she was musically inclined. CeCe sometimes played the
piano in the evenings in the same room. It would drift out and he’d listen from
his porch. He’d missed that, and had been sorry to see her old upright being
hauled away with the rest of her things after her funeral.

*
* * *

With
the sun just shimmering off the dew that had fallen across the lawn and lilac
bushes in the early morning, Madi stood on the porch and waved until Jared’s
truck was out of sight. The week had flown by. It was Friday, and she was
alone. This was the first day of the rest of her new life. She wandered back
inside and looked around at the boxes still sitting all over the place. It was
a daunting task that awaited her, one she just simply did not feel like dealing
with today. Today she was determined not to stay here by herself and let
loneliness creep in, making her miserable again.

“Madi?”
Julia Collier had picked up on the second ring. “You’re sure up early. Is
everything okay?”

“Good
morning, Mama. Yes, everything is fine.” She thumbed through her clothes trying
to decide what to wear while she talked. “I was thinking, maybe two old widow
women could go shopping and then meet their third wheel for lunch.”

“I
would love that. And I’m sure Meredith would as well. We wanted to come by
earlier this week, but we knew with the movers and Jared being there…have you
met your neighbor?”

My
God, Rafe McCarthy was the last thing she wanted to think of today.

“Yes,
he’s a pain in the ass.”

Julia
laughed. “So, I’ll just get ready and meet you out there in a while.”

Two
hours later her mother walked in to find her measuring windows.

“Well,
what are we shopping for today? Clothes, shoes, men?” Julia found a pitcher of
tea in the refrigerator and poured herself a glass.

“No,
nothing quite that glamorous.” Madi poured another glass and joined her mother
on the couch. “Paint, floor refinishing supplies, and a roofer.”

“Well,
the third thing counts as a man.”

Julia
Collier had been suppressed her entire life by her husband, Thomas. Although
she was saddened by his passing, it hadn’t taken her long to recover and get
back on the dating scene. Through Meredith’s regular updates, Madi knew that
she switched men often, went to singles’ bars, and age wasn’t a discerning
factor in her choice of partners. Maybe she needed to be the one to hook up
with Rafe. Madi was discovering the whole one-time scene wasn’t to her liking. All
week she’d watched him come and go, and all week her body had been shouting at
her like an addict needing a fix.

“Are
you telling me the roof is still leaking then?”

“Yes,
in two spots that I can tell.” Madi set her glass down and started to slip on
her tennis shoes. “I need to get it taken care of before I start putting a lot
away, only to have it get wet.”

“Well,
I can tell you, CeCe had the Dillon boys come over last summer and give her an
estimate. It wasn’t pretty.”

“How
much are we talking?”

“Almost
ten thousand dollars.”

Madi
put her hands on her face and shook her head. This was not what she needed to
hear. If she spent that kind of money, she’d have to take a job at McDonald’s
to make ends meet before she had enough students lined up to subsist. With a
Master’s Degree in music she should have been a shoo-in for a teaching
position, but with so many schools cutting back, and music programs taking the
brunt of the axing, those jobs were few and far between.

“You
know, I could help you, Madi.” Julia twisted one of her frosted locks around
her forefinger. “Your father was a domineering ass, but he did leave me set
up.”

“No,
Mama, I didn’t come home to mooch. I need to do this on my own. It isn’t
anyone’s fault but my own that I blindly let Gage piss away so much money. He
always told me he would take care of the finances so I wouldn’t have to worry
with it. I was so gullible. I won’t let it happen again, I can assure you. And
I definitely wouldn’t have another one in the military, if I was offered a million
dollars. I will never go through this again.”

“Well,
no need in dwelling on all that now.” Julia got up and headed for the door. “We
have shopping to do.”

Their
first stop was at a Lowe’s that hadn’t even existed when Madi still lived at
home. A very nice older gentleman helped her figure out how many gallons of
paint she needed to cover every square inch of wall and then began aiding her
in choosing colors. She decided on an antique white for the bedrooms, a creamy
pale yellow for the kitchen and slightly darker yellow resembling sunflowers
for the dining room, an aqua for the bathroom, and light cocoa for the living
room. She’d never been able to paint the walls in base housing and decided she
wanted a house full of color to make up for lost time.

“Just
let me get someone to help you figure out what to do with your floors.” The
graying man winked at Julia while he talked to Madi, then wandered off looking
for a flooring specialist.

“I
think you have yet another admirer, Mama.” Madi tossed paint brushes of all
shapes and sizes in her cart. “Don’t you ever worry that maybe these guys are
just after what Daddy left you?”

“Oh,
sweetie, I don’t intend to marry any of them. I’m just messing around.” Julia
was reapplying lipstick using the top of one of the shiny paint cans as a
mirror.

“Well,
you need to be careful, there’s a lot out there that didn’t exist forty years
ago.”